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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:31:12 PM | Whoever you like is great. Just open up the discussion and see who you're marrying (before you get your expensive martini thrown on you for proposing with an inadequate diamond)  | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:43:10 PM | | you guys are all going mental about this.. no one ever said anything about turning someone down because the ring didn't cost a certain amount... maybe you need to go back to the initial question.. which was what is the proper amount to spend.. and yes I get it... there is no proper amount.... but all you woman hating losers don't need to keep coming back to this thread and beating a dead horse and say that I would go to the highest bidder and all that garbage.. get over yourselves | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:43:15 PM |
you guys are all going mental about this.. no one ever said anything about turning someone down because the ring didn't cost a certain amount... maybe you need to go back to the initial question.. which was what is the proper amount to spend..
What you are asking is going to create those type of replies because there is NO right answer. The ``proper amount'' depnds upon the personalities and circumstances of the two people involved. There are lots of wrong answers though. One is to look on the internet for expert advice from someone with a vested interest in how much you spend. Another is to ask a bunch of people people who have been divorced, especially those divorced more than once, since their judgement obviously didn't help them much. Another is to go searching for a divine ruling that has the virtue of being so obvious that no one could possibly disagree. I think the main point here is that a guy ought to do something to make his fiance feel special and his fiancee ought to try and appreciate the effort he put into what he did. If a guy spends $20,000.00 on a ring because he can afford to throw that kind of money away, but buys it as an afterthought on his way home from playing golf, will you feel special? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:06:44 PM | Something I noticed when last I was selling jewelry was a lot of women coming in to buy "engagement presents" for their new Fiances. The most common gift was a watch, although I sold a few gold bracelets and chains.
So... how much should a woman spend on an Engagement present on the man who's just proposed to her? Well, again I think two months salary should be considered more of a maximum than a solid guideline. I mean, a woman has to be financially responsible and ready to help with the mortgage, right?
Looking specifically at watches, there's a wide range of prices and qualities... A "respectable" dress watch, like a Citizen can be had for about 200 bucks. If you've got a lot more disposable cash, may I suggest a Rado? Swiss made, their signature pieces are made out of a titanium based ceramic... a watch that would literally survive Atmospheric Re-entry is almost as "Forever" as a Diamond... generally retail around Two to Four thousand dollars... the store I worked at carried a beautiful Gent's Cartier, 18K gold case with Diamond accent "Tank" watch, I believe the retail price on that is about $35,000.
One poster asked "why diamonds?" Well, because they're the hardest stone. The word Diamond comes from the Greek word Adam, which is also the origin of the word Atom. The word basically means indivisible. Customarily a wedding (engagement) ring is worn all the time, and only a diamond (or possibly a sapphire) is hard enough to stand up to that kind of wear. This is why I cringed when SpicyCougar insisted that only an Emerald would do... and a Tanzanite (as beautiful a stone as that is) is only slightly more durable. So... why a Diamond and not a Cubic Zirconia? Although a CZ is almost exactly as sparkly as a diamond, it's quite fragile and it would cost you more to replace in a few years than it would to just buy a diamond. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:37:25 PM |
This is why I cringed when SpicyCougar insisted that only an Emerald would do... and a Tanzanite (as beautiful a stone as that is) is only slightly more durable.
You just don't get it do you?
It's what the ring represents that is more important to me. Whether it was worn everyday or only on special occations. I honestly would not care if it was just a stainless steal band. I "prefer" an emerald because of what it stands for. The symbolism of it.
Stop being a stupid jeweler and start being a human being!!
What the ring means is so much more sacred than a stupid diamond dug up by poor people working their fingers to the bones so that some money grubbing jeweler can sell it for thousands of dollars!!!
Hell... let's not give the jewelry business ANY money and let me get a tattoo of something symbolic on my ring finger!! I always wanted to do that anyway... | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:23:34 PM | Marrying????? 
So that's why I haven't gotten lucky yet......the drink isn't stiff enough to get past the cheap ass ring.  | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:33:02 PM | Ok Brandi.....I'm sorry
I'll start the bidding at a nickel then | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:00:31 PM | IMO if someone even cares of the "how much is enough" it clearly shows that they don't get the true significance.
Why do people judge that over how happy the couple is?
It's the same thing as making more a deal about the reception than the ceremony.
I guess some people just like to show and brag. I presume those are the same type that HAVE to HAVE a dozen long stem roses on Valentines Day delivered to their work.
What matters is the act and meaning behind the ring.
What matters is the shared meaning of a ceremony.
What matters is you are with the person that you want to spend every day and eternity with. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:30:32 PM | I'd have a lot more respect for the girl if she told me to spend the money on a charity or put it in a savings fund for the future children. Diamonds are shiny rocks, nothing more. The tradition that men must buy wedding rings was created, or at least encouraged, by diamond companies. If you want to be a mindless sheep and do whatever irrational thing a big corporation wants you to do then, by all means, go ahead. But I think that money can be better spent.
It's interesting that while women have rebeled against being homemakers and mothers and subordinate to men, they've not said anything against getting thousand-dollar diamond rings for engagement and marriage. Seems strange that they'd keep that old fashioned tradition while destroying the others....
maybe you need to go back to the initial question.. which was what is the proper amount to spend.. and yes I get it... there is no proper amount....
Alright, then we are done talking yes? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:46:57 PM | | here's a question for women who look for a certain price tag on their rings: what do you do to give back to your guy in return for the ring? and don't say that your love and presence should be enough, because clearly ours isn't and needs a ring to give it a boost. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:03:11 PM | ^^^^^^
That question...right there...has been asked no less than ten times in ten pages. Some have already answered, and some have decided not to. It's not a ****ing incentive. "I'll buy you a ring and propose but only if I get something pricey in return so you know how it feels."
If I was with a man like that...well...I wouldn't be with a man like that. If proposing in a traditional fashion isn't cool with you, well I don't think the rest of what I want for my life would mesh with yours. Best to part ways.
Really though, if you're going to be a ****ing baby about it, don't buy the freaking ring, and therefore you have no reason to call anyone shallow, and so on. Just shut up and do what you want to do, but do it quietly. :)
Oh, and I have bought a women's engagement ring before, and I wasn't even proposing to a woman! It is what it is. They don't come cheap, and some people attach a lot of meaning to it. Deal. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:10:08 PM | | As far as I know it is 3 month's salary... However if you truely love that person, and he can't afford that, you shouldn't complain at all. The meaning that the ring carries is surely much more valuable than its price. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:10:21 PM | (lucretia21) If I was with a man like that...well...I wouldn't be with a man like that. If proposing in a traditional fashion isn't cool with you, well I don't think the rest of what I want for my life would mesh with yours. Best to part ways.
I'm totally kewl with a traditional courtship.
So, how big is your dowry?
Arlo  | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:08:31 PM |
It's not a ****ing incentive. "I'll buy you a ring and propose but only if I get something pricey in return so you know how it feels."
Actually, traditionally, before the "women sleeping with everyone on the planet days"... it WAS an incentive. AND.... it was "I'll buy you a ring and propose but only if I get something pricey in return".
The exchange was a ring for the woman's virtue. Her virginity. He was making sure everyone else knew that this woman has promised to save herself for him.
Now, to MOST people, the ring is just something shiny with no rememberance of whose virtue is saved for whom.
Some cultures, before Christianity got so wide spread, the man would impregnate a woman, and if she could carry the baby full term AND give birth... the man would marry her. So may women died in child birth, they wanted to make sure she could actually do it. THAT was his way of insuring everyone knew she was his woman.
Sorry honey, but yeap, it is an exchange. He gives the ring... you promise to be his. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:41:16 PM | Everybody knows the more a man spends, the more he loves you. If he's not rich enough to afford a good ring, it means he's not rich enough to love you. Millionaires are filled with more love than anybody.
Man, I'd love to find a girl that could laugh at the absurdity of things like people's obsession with the price of engagement rings and could honestly appreciate a 25 cent plastic ring out of a vending machine to the same degree as one that costed 50 grand because of the sentiment behind it. To me, a woman like that would actually be worth an expensive ring.
And I'd be a lot more likely to get her one. Because I'd know she didn't need it. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:46:17 PM | I really don't believe that the importance of the ring lies in the price tag on it.
If a man loves me enough to ask me the BIG question...I wouldn't question the price of the ring. I would be more concerned with our life together.
Honestly, I think it would be tacky for a woman to even ask how much it's worth.
Of course, this is coming from a woman who doesn't really like wearing any jewelry. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:03:53 PM | My father is a jeweler in Manhattan. I asked him this question and according to him there is no "right" answer.
Personally, I think the answer is very simple. We live in very unstable times. Let's remember what this is about: two people who are committing to each other to marry in the near future.
As a couple...what are your values?
I think it a miracle that two people find each other in this day and age. A ring is a token...really that and nothing more.
Buy what you can afford. Again, we are all brainwashed by tv, the media, advertising...keep the eyes on the ball. It is about commitment...not the size of the rock.
I don't see this ever being a problem for me whether I have a dime in my pocket or not. Any woman I marry will NOT be materialistic and if she were anything less than ecstatic about whatever ring I purchased for her...I would have dialed a wrong number! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:22:06 PM | | i cant believe this is a question the board is entertaining, how much should he spend? 3 months salary? for me thats close to 30,000 and i can tell you, i am not stupid enough to buy any ring for that amount, wouldnt want an 800.00 dollar ring,, lol, yeah your a gold digger. woman hating losers.. you have alot of nerve, at 25 you still have alot to learn about reality. proper way is to take the lady into the jewelery store and say pick out your ring. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:35:26 PM | | Who cares if he spends xxx amount of dollars. The point is he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Money dont mean poop compared to love. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:47:41 PM |
wouldnt want an 800.00 dollar ring,, lol, yeah your a gold digger. woman hating losers.. you have alot of nerve, at 25 you still have alot to learn about reality. proper way is to take the lady into the jewelery store and say pick out your ring.
landscaper I'm confused... did you call me a gold digger or did you call these guys dummy's for not taking there girl in a store and letting them pick? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:38:33 PM | Yeah, the dowry! There's one tradition that has been well and truly brushed under the rug, are many ladies complaining about that....hhmmm... nope!
Can't you folk see that this post has been egged on and on and on and on with the same question that has been answered a thousand different ways? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:50:57 PM |
you guys are all going mental about this.. no one ever said anything about turning someone down because the ring didn't cost a certain amount... maybe you need to go back to the initial question.. which was what is the proper amount to spend.. and yes I get it... there is no proper amount.... but all you woman hating losers don't need to keep coming back to this thread and beating a dead horse and say that I would go to the highest bidder and all that garbage.. get over yourselves
Some of us recall your last thread on the same issue and your posts therein.
Don't confuse woman hating with trash hating.
First it was "a friend" then your own experience comes out and your response......
Seriously OP do some growing before you even consider marriage.
You want an 25K ring or better assuming your guy makes about what I do, or more if he is making out better, then can he expect you to pony up for a well equipped shop? Hmmm, and his engagement present would actually have a use other than to impress your friends at your next hen party as he could then easily customize your home to better reflect your individual tastes. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:34:25 AM | Geez this horse hasn't died yet?
Damn if the Geneva conventions applied to posts this would be considered torture at this point!
Seriously, it is very clear that everyone here would not choose to be with someone who valued material objects as much as has been discussed to no end on this post. That has been crystal clear 6 pages ago.
The clear thing to remember that unlike a post on POF, you have a choice on who to date and who not to date. You will clearly see their views on finances and materialism way before a decision is made to take the path of marriage. So be rest assured, your obvious fears of being "stuck" with a gold digger is not going to happen, well unless you are so transfixed on her t!ts not to pay attention to the obvious nature of the person you are choosing. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:18:10 PM | Well, I've been finding it very interesting. I'm not sure I need/want to get married again, having lost faith in the institution, but I found myself thinking that I would still like a ring!! 
...then I realized, I don't wear rings, and so it was more a recognition of being 'his' and having that recognized by the symbolism of a ring
...then thinking, well, maybe I'd wear a band.
...but also thinking, wow, I'd sure like an Easton Orion II wheelset for my racing bike even better...(we're both cyclists)
...and maybe they make carbon fiber/titanium bands we could buy for each other
...and maybe instead of marriage we could have a '5 year pledge' open for renewal, thus not getting lazy in the relationship assuming that it's for LIFE and easily taken for granted.
And that's where I ended up after reading up on this thread!
Imho, age could be a factor. It seems the majority of mature women like myself put less into the whole 'ring' thing. Priorities change with life experience. | |
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