| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:24:22 PM | | ^ you did make yourself sound far more demanding and stupid in your original post, although i can't imagine why you wouldn't just get married after 6 years and make the whole house buying thing more intuitive/less ridiculous. but sure.. knock yourself out - i still think it's an unnecessary risk, if you are that sure about the person you might as well be married. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:25:38 PM | Sadly (for me) I am a lawyer and I would much rather buy a house with someone than get married. As a guy who anticipates (hypothetically) bangin' his secretary when his woman comes home, think of this; in divorce court you're the adulterer in that scenario. If you're married and have to divorce, the judge might make a morality award. If you're business partners and you are disolving your relationship because your woman found you banging your secretary, you sell the house and split it, no alimony, no extra money prizes to the wife because she caught you in bed with another woman.
Marriage is also a contract. And one a lot less clearly defined than a real estate contract. Though I agree its a pain to move out after a break up, but its an even bigger pain if you're married and you break up. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:30:35 PM | i suppose I'm assuming I am way more likely to dump or cheat on/vice versus my girlfriend than my wife.
the marriage is hopefully more about living arrangements and legal contracts - trying to turn the everyday relationship into that to me is a dumbass move. My lawyer would destroy you in court by the way. =p | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:35:51 PM | Oh, now I get it! This that you're doing now is "just dating" but when you get married, that will last for ever.
You know what I think? I think you're a big romantic deep down!
Actually, you and lucretia make a nice couple, come to think of it. She has a good head on her shoulders for practical things, while you're the down on one knee, whirlwind romance type.
I'm calling it a night, so I'll leave you two alone now =) | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:41:22 PM | | well that and I'm not sure I can find a woman who will be ok with getting married and me having my own place.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:02:53 AM |
Why did you even reply to that comment? Your reply made no sense, as my words were not "proper amount", but rather "acceptable amount" this means either end of the spectrum, my stupid friend
who cares..proper amount or acceptable amount..same difference..there is no such thing as "acceptable amount" either..and there is no "common amount" either..different people spend differnet amounts of money on a ring...whoever said it that is..i dont know if you said it, i'm just saying it anyway..
I loved the ring for what it represented, and how it was exactly what I would have picked for myself. It showed he paid attention and knew what I liked. That's what it's about, after all, right?
so what if he had told you the ring cost $1000 dollar would it have made a difference to you?
However, being that I have a career, my future SO will have a career, and surely we will own our home before we get married, I think it's perfectly acceptable not to glow at the idea of a $70 ring.
wow..so just because your SO will have a career, that means he has to buy an expensive ring?..what if he bought you a ring, a nice one, something that you liked etc. but it was not expensive?..would you have a problem with that?..what if it cost just say 1500 dollars?..i think its ridiculous to think that because someone makes good money he has to buy an expensive ring, which is what you are insinuating | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:06:27 AM |
The man of the couple ended up coming back alone to see me later, and purchased a ridiculously expensive set "because he could see that's what she liked the best." For a man to get married, and spend a fortune on a ring to show dedication to a woman who might leave him widowed within a year is all about the romance, not the bank balance. Yes, she survived, Love conquers all.
well it seems to me he used a "ring" to show how much he loved her..which to me makes no sense whatsoever..if they have been togetehr for so long and just because she had cancer..he wanted to get married to her, just shows that his reason for getting married is not really about love..it has to be about something else.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:14:15 AM |
I think if a woman had to consider if she could come up with that amount of money for a ring, then maybe a ring wouldn't seem so important
Exactly!!!!..they arent the ones spending so much money so its nothing to them, if it was reversed then, you would see a big difference.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:25:07 AM |
While most people seem to think life is about securing your assets, I feel that if i'm with someone and it's for the long haul (and I would never make that commitment unless I was certain it was) then I won't have to worry about what's at stake
LOl..how can you be 100% certain if you guys will not end up getting a divorce?..believe it or not when you get married to someone you are basically "taking a chance"..because no one cant be sure that they will be together forever..you may try to tell yourself that abd have all the confidence in the world it will last, but if something like a divorce is going to happen then it will happen..i'm sure there are millions of people who have said they were "sure" that they will be together forever, but for whatever reason it did not happen..so i dont know how you can be "sure" you will be in it for the long haul..NO ONE is ever sure..they only ASSUME | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:37:54 AM |
i'd say getting a lease together for an apartment is a step to take, then at the very least an engagement, before you dive into buying a house together
excellent idea..and a terrefic way to start a marriage and "sharing your finances" with your fiance/wife etc. Thats exactly what i plan on doing..when i move in with my wife to be..we will be renting a place together..NOT buying..the buying will come after we get married..i dont understand why so many people are in a "rush" to make big steps in relationships when dating..its absurd.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:57:48 AM | | For you ? Probably there is no limit - nothing will ever be enough. There's an answer for your mother. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:09:54 AM | One point so many are missing is that the "right" amount isn't the same for everyone...hence why it's based on salary! Get it! - it's not just $100 or $1000 or $10000 regardless of what you can afford. No woman in her right man asks a man to spend more than he can afford..
Symbolically, the ring is supposed to be an assurance that the guy cares enough to have made sacrifices to save a little money back...and to show that he has the resources to be married and start a family. Traditionally, women didn't have the means to give such a gift - their gift is the unpaid work and devotion they will give in the marriage to care for the family.
You can disagree whether that's something that makes sense in this society....and you can disagree on just how many months salary it "should" be (1, 2, 3, 6.....)...but when you have a decent job and spend less on a lifelong gift to a loved one than you would on a toy for yourself you are damned straight that it reflects on your values.
Jeez - women are gold diggers these days if they even allow you to pick up a check! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:04:45 AM |
One point so many are missing is that the "right" amount isn't the same for everyone...hence why it's based on salary! Get it!
Sorry, I don't get it. That's simply the marketing hype. Linking the ring to a certain monetary value is an invention by the marketers - and a tasteless one at that.
I wish I could sell my wares in such a way. "Well, you know traditionally it's usual for you guys to spend half your yearly gross taking on my computer program... honest..."
Symbolically, the ring is supposed to be an assurance that the guy cares enough to have made sacrifices to save a little money back...and to show that he has the resources to be married and start a family.
Symbolically, it meant to be no such thing. The practice, started by pope Innocent III, was merely to show that the person was betrothed as the pope was encouraging longer periods between betrothal and marriage. The ring was a simple band of gold, silver, or even iron. Symbolically, the ring was covering the supposed "vein of love", which was said to be in the fourth finger of the left hand. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:16:49 AM |
One point so many are missing is that the "right" amount isn't the same for everyone...hence why it's based on salary! Get it! - it's not just $100 or $1000 or $10000 regardless of what you can afford. No woman in her right man asks a man to spend more than he can afford..
Wrong, my gf's do not even LIKE $25K rings, and would think me stupid for spending that much on one. When I could get something they like for much less and put the remainder into a boat, a pool or a home which we could both enjoy together and build more memories with for years to come.
It is based on salary solely because De Beers wants a bigger slice of your pie. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:47:05 AM | | I couldn't justify 2 months salary, or even a months salary on a ring... well MAYBE a months since that's only around 2.5k; but the point is that's still more than I feel i'd need to spend. I've gone through the hoops before, and the "engagement ring" game is just stupid. Over priced and bland, even my ex thought the same thing when we were engaged. Amusingly she prefered a ring which jewlers considered a standard 'dress ring' even if it was $650. It's all about what it stands for not what it costs. You don't have to break the bank if it's not required. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:07:51 AM | | Brandii, your a fine looking woman. I had a hard time choking down the idea of spending 13,000 on my dodge truck. But I got to say it did look good, until an old lady in a saturn decide to stop right in front of me. I don't see me spending 2 months salary on a freaking ring. to me a ring is a ring. if a guy wants to marry you, then why are you worried about the cost of the ring. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:40:43 AM | | I say you buy a ring at all until 5 yrs together. Then you know she's a keeper. Why blow your money for something that may not last. Plus you give her a 5K ring, what do you get? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:46:21 AM |
However, being that I have a career, my future SO will have a career, and surely we will own our home before we get married, I think it's perfectly acceptable not to glow at the idea of a $70 ring.
wow..so just because your SO will have a career, that means he has to buy an expensive ring?..what if he bought you a ring, a nice one, something that you liked etc. but it was not expensive?..would you have a problem with that?..what if it cost just say 1500 dollars?..i think its ridiculous to think that because someone makes good money he has to buy an expensive ring, which is what you are insinuating
You're so freaking daft. You are clearly going to take what I say and make it into what you WANT me to be saying, so this reply really doesn't matter, aside from the fact that I feel sorry for your idiocy and am hoping there might be a small glimmer of light somewhere that might help you to see that your opinion is not the only opinion, nor is my opinion what you are painting it to be. You did it to the OP, and since she stopped replying, you've done it to me.
I never said he will have to buy me an expensive ring, and expensive is a subjective term. That was my entire point in that post, you idiot. For the couple eating from cans and living off government money, expensive is probably seventy dollars, whereas to the couple who are making $100,000 a year (for instance) and own their home, perhaps expensive is $3000. To the couple who lease an apartment, and make $60,000 a year, expensive might be $1500. So what you think is expensive and what I think are expensive are different things, bud.
For the record, I said that I had no idea of the value of my previous engagement, and I thought that obviously meant that I dind't really care. It was lovely and exactly what I wanted, regardless of how much he paid for it. (Though I am fairly certain that it cost more than $70, as can be expected for someone who can afford it.) I gave an answer to the OPs question, which was how much was common/acceptable. Just because you think there is no common idea of the amount, does not mean it isn't so. This is proved by the fact that many people gave the same answer as me, therefore making it a common idea, right?
Anyway, I can't believe i've wasted this much time on an idiot like you, so i'm done. Twist my words however you want, and say that i'm shallow or stupid, but i'm not looking to associate myself with idiots, so really...I don't give a shit what picture you try to paint of me.
Good day, sir! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:56:16 AM | | something reeks of high maintanace.look if i was buying you a ring and your trying to dictate how much i spend then thats a pralude to other controling thing.did he ask you to get rid of that tat.i would not marry a women whos going to show up in wedding pictures with that waist of money.i guess differant strokes for differant folks. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:27:11 AM |
I never said he will have to buy me an expensive ring, and expensive is a subjective term. That was my entire point in that post, you idiot
LOL..you are the imbecile here..you are implying a lot of things..my whole point is that...you want a guy to buy a ring for you based on how much money he makes..thats exactly what you are saying...and i'm saying that is shallow and stupid..pretty much like all the posts you've made..you obviously care more about the cost of the ring than anything else.... | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:30:22 AM |
For the record, I said that I had no idea of the value of my previous engagement, and I thought that obviously meant that I dind't really care
WOW!! how can you say you dont care?..why are you changing your arguments now?..thats not what you were implying all along..you are flip flopping here dear..but whatever..you clearly dont know what you want...if you say you dont care about the cost why are you making such a big deal about how much he pays for it then?.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:35:51 AM |
If you're going to buy a piece of shit ring, which is exactly what you'll get for $500 or $800 just please don't buy a ring at all
LOL..your words not mine..so silly..so how can you say you dont care about the cost of the ring? you're such an idiot..you are obviously a very confused girl, who believes in expensive jewerely to profess love..you clearly dont care too much about what the ring means, rather you care about how much he paid for it...idiot.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:44:11 AM | | IMO, you only buy the ring once, but your wife is going to look at that ring every day on her finger for the rest of her life. So I would spend up.(Doubt if I'll ever be getting married again,ladies.) You don't want the last time you're ever happy with the rock/ring to be the day you bought it. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:47:46 AM | | I'd say that if you are really going to sit there and try to calculate how much the ring cost then you don't even deserve the unacceptable 800 dollar ring that sends a wave of revulsion through your stomach. | |
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