| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:08:51 PM | | ^^ exactly luke...i dont know which dumb shallow woman sist and wonder about the "cost" of a ring..she should never get any if thats her attitude.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:19:42 PM |
I'd say that if you are really going to sit there and try to calculate how much the ring cost then you don't even deserve the unacceptable 800 dollar ring that sends a wave of revulsion through your stomach.
I absolutely agree with you, Luke. Nobody should ask, or investigate the cost of a ring. I never did with mine, and probably never will. As I said, the only reason I have any idea is because a girlfriend had one very similar and she told me the amount. Otherwise, I would have had no idea.
To address the $500-$800 thing..."piece of shit" was probably not the way I should have put it, and for that I apologize. Rather that the style and quality of rings in that range are quite clearly not as nice as the more expensive ones, and yes, I would like a nice ring, when the time comes. (As would...probably every other woman on the planet. Again, nice is subjective, like expensive, and varies by couple/person.)
I should have stayed far, far away from this one.
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:32:15 PM | I absolutely agree with you, Luke
really, maybe I should check to see if the planets are still in alignment and that birds aren't falling out of sky...
To address the $500-$800 thing..."piece of shit" was probably not the way I should have put it, and for that I apologize
This is just getting weird..
I should have stayed far, far away from this one.
yes, this thread is the equivlaent of the ask a girl thread: "How many cup sizes more is too much to ask for the wife's breast augmentation surgery," or "If she loved me, wouldn't she get a face lift?" You're just going to revolt men with the spoiled brat mentality diamond retailers have so gently encouraged over the years. The OP might find some rich guy who will tolerate that, but the type of men who feel the need to buy women tend to view them the same way as they view cars. Every few years you trade her in for a new model. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:13:02 PM | I almost feel like I should have stayed out of this one as well... but since I have five years experience as a professional jeweler, I figured I had relevant information to share.
Let's see here... Assuming prices haven't changed too terribly much since 2004 when I got out of the business... a person ought to be able to buy an excellent quality 2 Carat diamond for about $30,000. To my mind, even if your "two months salary" is $300,000 I couldn't imagine spending more than that on a ring. If I had ridiculous supply of money, millions in the bank and regular infusions of more cash, I would probably still not pay more than about $20,000 on a ring. Dropping 6.4 million dollars on a 3 carat pink diamond is something an idiot *cough*Ben Affleck*cough* would do, even if you are kissing one of the finest *ka*J-Lo*chooo* asses on the planet. I'd rather donate the money to a homeless shelter.
Although I don't disagree that the "Two Months" figure is pretty arbitrary, the logic behind it is based on being able to Finance the purchase comfortably, over the length of a fairly standard, one year engagement. If you are in a position where the ring that you want to buy is going to require financing, I'd recommend sticking to the 2month's salary figure as a Maximum... not a Minimum.
I am one of the men who said that the Future Mrs. Garnet will be getting the best ring I can conceivably afford... unless the "best" ring costs less than my budget, that is. What that dollar value to me is, is none of your business... but rest assured that if it were "only" 200 bucks, I'd still spend that 200 bucks. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:37:05 PM |
The OP might find some rich guy who will tolerate that,
Luke first off.. this question wasn't even about me!!!!!!!!! it was about a girl that asked my mom.... so thanks for once again putting words in my mouth...
I never once have said that a guy MUST spend a certain amount.,..rather I said that if you can only afford the example $800 ring more than likely you are not in a financial position to be starting a family. I guess I want to think of it kind of old fashioned... Meet a guy... get engaged.. buy a house, have a family...
Now mind you I do have a daughter but I want to do everything right from now on... A lot of guys on here are jumping to conclusions of there own without even reading the facts... ok I get it.. there shouldn't be a supposed "Proper amount" spent on a ring... BUT and I don't care if you all call me gold diggers I want a nice ring on me finger... it's like everything in life.. including your significant other... you want to be proud of it... it's not about having the best one around but it's about having one that you love and are proud of.. and once again maybe I am a gold digger but I don't think I could be in love or proud of an $800 dollar ring ...
Now in the last couple of days I have spoken to about 8 different guys (from this site that I talk to on a regular basis) and all of them have said that when it comes to the woman they want to marry there going to get them the best ring that they can... and that's all I would ask for...
Now as for someone saying that because I'm 25 $800 is a lot of money well obviously your not from where I am... I am from Calgary Alberta and we happen to be a very rich city... most guys my age are working in the oil and gas industry and making more money than you could imagine... and like spending it! Now I DO NOT seek out these guys but normally there the kind of guys that I end up dating... it's bad because there always out of town.. but either way I think generalizing that because I'm only 25 that I should be happy with an $800 ring is ridiculous. Maybe that's why I think it is such a low ball number because I see guys spend that in one night at the club. Maybe that's the whole I reason I think that it is such a low number is because of how rich m y city is all together... I mean it's cost $400 a month to park downtown ( it's more expensive to park in Calgary then it is to park in Paris)
Now I am an intelligent girl, and I understand and respect everyone opinions.. and that's exactly why I posted this... and I could care less if you feel the need to call me a gold digger and a materialistic b!tch who doesn't deserve a ring out of a bubble gum machine (that was my fav) I know what I am worth and I know what I can provide to a partner.. I own my own business and am more than capable of buying MYSELF a ring that is worth more than $800 so I would expect the same in a partner and you know what... he would have the most amazing wedding band... actually I think it's a great idea for a guy to have an engagement ring too!!!! I would buy my fiance one in a heart beat!! I'm not a spoiled girl but I know what I want... and I want a beautiful, amazing, gorgeous ring on my left ring finger that I am proud to show to everyone... | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:44:00 PM | ^ I don't actually mention you in any of my posts or call you a gold digger, and 800 dollars in Boston isn't a lot of money either. Just stating the obvious that if a woman makes a fuss out of how much she thinks a guy should spend on a ring he will think less of her - unless he views her as they type of girl he can buy, in which case he doesn't think too much of her to begin with. throwing around money can work for a guy but who really is taking someone seriously if they feel the need to do that to get her approval...doesn't work like that.
some guys may want to splurge on a ring out of affection but they certainly wouldn't feel obligated to in that situation , or be impressed if said woman through a hissy fit because she was expecting a bigger price tag.
if some guy you were crazy about and wanted to marry proposed and the ring was worth 800 or so dollars, and that's all you can think about I think you deserve the type of guy who views you as a possession. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:30:28 PM | I guess it depends on the guy. Being a girl that doesn't really like huge rings, just a simple band would work for me...which would probably work to be somewhere 2 and 3 months salary....I've seen people spend 1 month's salary...I've seen people that spend 5 month's salary on a ring for that Special person.
I don't think it's right to say "if you love them it doesn't matter." I know the girls out there would maybe bring a smile if a guy handed them a ring from a 25 cent machine, but would wonder if they were serious. Money is just a material possesion, but in this day, it also unfortunately shows people what you're "worth." It boils down to a complete understand between the two people, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
-Lauren | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:32:34 PM | I don't put a lot of validity into that 2 months of salary thing. Especially after having my ex pawn her engagement ring a couple of years before we divorced. Personally, I can't see spending $17,000 on a ring that might end up getting lost, stolen, or whatevered . . .
It should be enough to show you care; I'd be willing to spend 3 or 4 thousand, but beyond that I think it's overkill unless you're a millionaire or something . . . | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:39:05 PM | Right then folks.
He's supposed to spend three months salary on a ring.
How many months salary is the girl supposed to have saved, for the home mortgage deposit by the time they get engaged. Rembering too that she will be the onehanging onto the home after the divorce.
I hear regular grizzling about men not pulling thier weight on the domestic scene. But I see no sisgn of women pulling their weight on the financial scene. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:22:51 PM | When I got engaged I dropped about $4K on the ring. This was in 2003. At the time I was an Ensign in the Navy going through flight school, I was taking home about $3500 a month after taxes. I was paying $900 a month in student loans, but had no real expenses otherwise.
I think the "2 months salary" is bunk. Within a year, she wanted it "upgraded" when I got promoted, and when it came to light how much I paid for it (not the full 2 months pushed by deBeers) the fecal matter hit the air mover. This was mostly started by her friends and family. I got accused of being a cheap ass, etc. At this point we were already married, she was living in a house I payed the rent on finishing college, driving a new car etc, while I was driving the same car I had since high school, and living in a crappy studio apt in a not so fancy neighborhood.
Why should guys have to drop THOUSANDS of dollars, for an engagement ring? Where was my engagement Snap-On tool box and TIG welder? Get something. Fine. Get something nice.
But don't put a dollar sign on "love".
This was the 1st of many times, that I had to spend $$$$ to "prove my love" over the course of the relationship. New cars, anniversary rings, bigger house that I can barely afford.
If a woman DEMANDS you spend at least XXXX on a ring, run like hell. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:24:29 PM |
(Brandiii) I totally understand the if you love someone it doesn't matter.. and I do honestly believe that... I was just asking what the proper amount is to spend...
Whatever he can afford.
Arlo | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:42:43 PM |
If a woman DEMANDS you spend at least XXXX on a ring, run like hell.
This prove-your-love by buying stuff thing strikes me as that the man is employing the woman and paying her to be with him. If he can't meet her price she leaves to find a better 'job'.
That isn't the kind of relationship I'd want. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:45:35 PM |
(Brandiii) and all this talk about guys going into debt for an engagement ring... 80% of you are probably willing to go into debt for your hd lcd 52 inch blah blah blah television.. why not do it for the woman you love....
Simple: if we can't afford the TV any longer, we can return it and get our money back.
If a man can't afford his wife, not only does he NOT get any money back when he "returns" her, but he gets to keep on paying! 
Arlo | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:06:18 PM |
(seaga) well it seems to me he used a "ring" to show how much he loved her..which to me makes no sense whatsoever..if they have been togetehr for so long and just because she had cancer..he wanted to get married to her, just shows that his reason for getting married is not really about love..it has to be about something else..
*shrug* You weren't the one who had been living with and loving a woman for 20 years, then having to face the very real possibility of losing her for good.
Sometimes, ya know, there is no "happy ending" in life; just a really, really crappy outcome. You should never condemn someone else's choices about their future when they're in such circumstances: makes you look snippy and petty.
Arlo | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:25:39 PM | Its not every guy that buys those stuff..what about the guy that doesnt?..and its not about showing her she "means more to him" than those toys or whatever you are talking about..buying an expensive ring..or one that is more expensive than those "toys" you are talking about does NOT in any way shape or form necessarily means that you mean more to him..a ring is just a ring..you cant you the "quality" of a ring or its "worth" to judge how much you mean to someone..o i'm not sure what you are trying to get across with that analogy..
I never said I did. It was a gauge between the nessesary non-physical stuff in a relationship and the un-nessesary stuff(ie:things) in a relationship. The cost of a ring I believe should be right in the middle of those. IE: If a jet ski was my most expensive un-nessesary possesion, and I was going out with my friends to the lake that day without her; I wouldn't want my wife kissing me goodbye knowing I spent more money on a toy like that then on one of the physical symbols of my Love for her. If one thinks she won't think about things like that. Think again. Right or wrong, they will think about it. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:33:46 PM | I've been proposed to TWICE once was with the most amazing ring I have ever seen and guess what I said no because I didn't love him
You said no to him?
What kind of monster are you?!?!
making more money than you could imagine... and like spending it! Now I DO NOT seek out these guys but normally there the kind of guys that I end up dating
I LoL'd
P.S Marriage is a scam.
P.P.S and this chick is a narcissist
P.P.P.S this thread delivers | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:49:11 PM | | Duhrrrrrr..........The woman decides the engagement and wedding ring. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:56:50 PM | Brandiii.....you're not old fashioned and you know it so give it up.
We (most) spend 2-5K on the rings. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:21:30 PM | This reminds me of a thread started a while ago about if a guy uses a coupon to pay for dinner. It's seriously like a woman will never be happy until her S.O. completely drains his finances to make her happy.
i say as long as it's durable and it looks pretty it should be fine. She shouldn't even know about the price of it...unless she goes and gets it appraised or something. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:36:15 PM | This thread is a prime example of the reason why, if I get engaged someday, I absolutely do not want a ring of any kind. Blech. I can't tolerate the kind of drama that sort of thing brings up, and I will not be a woman who creates another bitter man who thinks that all women are golddigging sluts.
And, for the rest of you, I'd say enough equals whatever the poor schmuck can afford. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:44:34 PM |
This thread is a prime example of the reason why, if I get engaged someday, I absolutely do not want a ring of any kind. Blech. I can't tolerate the kind of drama that sort of thing brings up, and I will not be a woman who creates another bitter man who thinks that all women are golddigging sluts.
And, for the rest of you, I'd say enough equals whatever the poor schmuck can afford.
that is exactly the type of thinking that makes you want to spend a little extra on a ring for her. the OP's mentality is the kind of thinking that makes you reconsider buying the ring all together. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:03:44 AM | Re the Opost
In the 21st century, people do not get engaged. It is so 19th century actually.
2-3 months salary? WTH!!! Got to be kidding! Why not 5% of total personal net worth?
Now, I was stupid enough to spend 1600 USD when I got engaged, but that was in the previous century. This century people do not het engaged, they get married directly, actually they do not even do that that much anymore, they live together, and more and more, they do not even co-habitate, they simply have a rel but keep their own places. Because this is 2008.
So, zero USD is enough for an engagement ring! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:17:14 AM |
rather I said that if you can only afford the example $800 ring more than likely you are not in a financial position to be starting a family
WOW!!..that is such an IGNORANT statement...its not old fashioned you are being.you are just being one of the many women out there who dont really care about marriage , but just about a nice ring and a fancy wedding..thats all you are.. | |
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