| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:24:11 AM |
This prove-your-love by buying stuff thing strikes me as that the man is employing the woman and paying her to be with him. If he can't meet her price she leaves to find a better 'job'.
That isn't the kind of relationship I'd want
no smart man would want to be with a girl like that in a relationship.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:27:13 AM |
*shrug* You weren't the one who had been living with and loving a woman for 20 years, then having to face the very real possibility of losing her for good.
Sometimes, ya know, there is no "happy ending" in life; just a really, really crappy outcome. You should never condemn someone else's choices about their future when they're in such circumstances: makes you look snippy and petty.
Arlo
Thats all bull..i'm just syaing it seems to me he only wanted tomarry her because she "might die soon" or because he felt obligated to "show his love for her" or something like that..if he really wanted to marry her he would've done it before that happened to her..it just seems to me that he only wante dto marry her because she had "cancer"...which to me makes no sense | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:30:47 AM |
that is exactly the type of thinking that makes you want to spend a little extra on a ring for her. the OP's mentality is the kind of thinking that makes you reconsider buying the ring all together
Exactly. Thats the kind of mentality i'd want my future wife to have.. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:48:18 AM | Cool! 3 months, huh? Now I know what the price is for having a ungrateful **** for life!
Someone said that this topic made them ill when reading it? Not me, I just wanted to punch my fvckin' computer screen. Then I realized that it is worth more than the OP's opinion on any subject matter relating to love, marriage, engagements, any serious adult issue involving any human being being affected by anything in this world. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:57:07 AM | (seaga) Thats all bull..i'm just syaing it seems to me he only wanted tomarry her because she "might die soon" or because he felt obligated to "show his love for her" or something like that..if he really wanted to marry her he would've done it before that happened to her..it just seems to me that he only wante dto marry her because she had "cancer"...which to me makes no sense
Again, *shrug*. I'm sure the last thing on his mind was making sense to you. Maybe you should listen to what other people say, and watch what they do, rather than let some silly, petty question about how much a guy should spend on an engagement ring get your tail all in knots.
My take? If a woman is gonna expect that I spend a bare minimum of money on an engagement ring and will cop 'tude if I don't, then I'm gonna expect her to put out a minimum number of times a week, and to NEVER hear the "But I have a headache!" line. After all, fair's fair.
Arlo  | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:43:13 AM |
Money is just a material possesion, but in this day, it also unfortunately shows people what you're "worth."
And the woman with whom I choose to spend the rest of my life will be one of those who does not fit this description. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:29:40 AM |
This thread is a prime example of the reason why, if I get engaged someday, I absolutely do not want a ring of any kind. Blech. I can't tolerate the kind of drama that sort of thing brings up, and I will not be a woman who creates another bitter man who thinks that all women are golddigging sluts.
Exactly. I have to ask, what is going on with young women today? There was another thread I responded to yesterday about a young woman who felt creeped out because a man told her he "missed her."
I think a lot of you have got your priorites screwed up and have no clue as to what is important in a relationship. Recently I have had two discussions about jewelry with men, they each raised this issue. The first I told, I have the material things covered for myself and that is really not what I am looking for and the second with my long time friend who always tells me when we get married he will spend $10K on my ring, I just laugh and said you know, that's not necessary or even needed. He told said, "you have to have a nice ring" I replied, "I think it is you that thinks I need the nice ring, because in reality, if I were to remarry I would just wear a band."
For anyone who thinks your ring represents you "worth", what happens if you lose your ring? Have you lost worth? The truth is this, the ring and the WEDDING DAY, matter very little in the marriage and the success of the marriage. Perhaps if everyone would stop focusing on the material aspects of a relationship and start focusing on the relationship, there would be a lot more successful relationships. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:38:34 AM | | 3,000 is about right. I mean your girl is gonna be flashing that thing to all her girlfriends and you want to give her something to show off right? | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:45:31 AM |
I mean your girl is gonna be flashing that thing to all her girlfriends and you want to give her something to show off right?
If my future wife wants something to show off to her girlfriends, I'm standing right here. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:49:44 AM |
For anyone who thinks your ring represents you "worth", what happens if you lose your ring? Have you lost worth? The truth is this, the ring and the WEDDING DAY, matter very little in the marriage and the success of the marriage. Perhaps if everyone would stop focusing on the material aspects of a relationship and start focusing on the relationship, there would be a lot more successful relationships.
Absolutely true. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:50:56 AM |
3,000 is about right. I mean your girl is gonna be flashing that thing to all her girlfriends and you want to give her something to show off right?
Uhm....
Aren't YOU something enough to be shown off?
Do you want your woman proud of a shiny ring? Or of a beautiful fiancee who is madly in love with her?
I know *I* would prefer showing off a man who can't stop kissing me. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:16:09 AM | Re post 180:
"...My take? If a woman is gonna expect that I spend a bare minimum of money on an engagement ring and will cop 'tude if I don't, then I'm gonna expect her to put out a minimum number of times a week, and to NEVER hear the "But I have a headache!" line. After all, fair's fair..."
It do not see the fairness in that (above). If she "puts out" a minimum amount of times a week, that means that I put out the same amount of times per week and since we both enjoy that, I still do not see why a ring has to be offered to a woman in 2008, other than the wedding one, and there is reciprocity in that ring (ie both get one).
I find it hard to believe that a woman of any age, still wants/expects an engagement ring from a man in 2008!!!! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:33:17 PM | | Or you could do what I did.. Pay $8000 for the ring.. then be engaged for a year. Have the wedding fall through and have to sell the ring for $3800. Diamonds are not forever.. and they are not worth anything more than you are willing to pay. They are dust in my opinion. The only value they have is what we put on them. Since when does a ring plug a hole anyway! | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:46:49 PM | Niick.....19th century????
I'm sorry if your white car has a flat tire and you can't afford a nice ring either but don't knock on us for being able to spend good money on our woman. Children will cost over 250K to raise good so a good mom is worth all the money in the world. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:56:19 PM | You know....I've read some more posts on here about this ring subject and all I've got to say is Waiiiiihhhhh.
What the fuk is so extraordinary about a 3K dollar ring when if you get divorced, she's going to get the 200K house, 20K SUV, 16K boat, and 100K savings or half of it anyways. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:25:02 PM |
I'm sorry if your white car has a flat tire and you can't afford a nice ring either but don't knock on us for being able to spend good money on our woman.
I don't think it's the cost per se. It's the expectation, a priori. If an engagement ring means anything at all beyond a material possession, a woman should expect nothing and a guy should go out of his way to give her the nicest ring he can. Putting a price on an engagement ring as a condition for getting engaged would be an indication that I'm marrying the wrong person, no matter how easily I could pay the price. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:38:54 PM | re Msg: 190
"Niick.....19th century????"
Yeap, the engagement ring is very 19th or at best 20th century. And this is the 21st!
"I'm sorry if your white car has a flat tire and you can't afford a nice ring either"
1) That is not my car in the photo, lol, duh!!! lol lol lol
2) Who said I cannot "afford" a nice ring? The issue is whether a ring, of anhy price, is part the 21st century "rituals". It is not!
"but don't knock on us for being able to spend good money on our woman."
Knock? No, no, please go ahead and do so, to weed the "market" out for the rest of us out of those women who want and demand one!
lol lol
"Children will cost over 250K to raise good so a good mom is worth all the money in the world."
1) Who said anything about children?
2) Why marry a woman to make her mom of one's kids then (based on above rationale) and not buy/hire one, or, better, hire the best English nanny for the kids and tuition for the best schools (eg Eaton, Exeter, etc) for the kind(s) for that kind of money?
And again, why assume that the woman is worth of the money in the world and her man is not? What kind of feminist/equality of teh genders philosophy is that? certainly not 21st century! lol
Re Msg: 191
"...What the fuk is so extraordinary about a 3K dollar ring when if you get divorced, she's going to get the 200K house, 20K SUV, 16K boat, and 100K savings or half of it anyways...."
Again that will depend on what kind of woman one will marry and the ring thing is IMO a good weed out tool!
Re Msg: 192
"I don't think it's the cost per se. It's the expectation, a priori."
Exactly.
" If an engagement ring means anything at all beyond a material possession, a woman should expect nothing and a guy should go out of his way to give her the nicest ring he can."
Why? The wedding ring should be enough, for both!
"Putting a price on an engagement ring as a condition for getting engaged would be an indication that I'm marrying the wrong person, no matter how easily I could pay the price."
That's the main point! Fully agree!!
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:18:55 PM | get her the one that looks or will look best on her. if the "perfect" ring is too expensive, get the closest facsimile to it at a price that won't affect your financial situation. who really wants their man to go broke on a decoration?
also i think there is a lot of markup on engagement rings. i've heard it's best to purchase a loose stone and have it set. also, inferior stones can sometimes be set in the ring to obscure some of the flaws in the mineral or the cut.
i definitely agree to get a (any) ring to make the gesture of proposing, and offer to take her to choose a more ideal piece that suits her taste and your budgets in the future. unless you want to openly go shop first, or if you can already afford one you know she will adore and not want to trade in.
my advice is to only propose if she has small hands. will make the rock (and certain other things, one of which does rhyme with "rock") look bigger comparatively.
but who cares what it costs? the gesture of proposing is the love. the ring is the decoration. get one that looks good on her finger, because she will (hopefully) wear it all the time. but DON'T equate "looks better" with "costs more", and DEFINITELY DON'T get the idea that "costs more" correlates with "loves more".
and an ugly beat-up ring with a lot of sentimental value and love expressed through it can still be acceptable, even if it was inherited or stolen off an old lady at zero cost to the man. the proper price is the best price you can haggle for the ring that you want to give to your lady. i'm sure there are quite a few who won't pay what the sticker says and procure an x-thousand-dollar ring for considerably less than it retails.
also i agree that the girl is not really entitled to "suggest" how much her ring ought to cost. if it comes from the right person and isn't a dreadful abhorrent flimsy example that might have come from cracker jack, stfu and marry the guy! would his dropping another couple grand on something no more useful than the one he did get you really do any more for your relationship? other than hinder your financial situation at current and for the future, as that ring no matter what it costs is going to take years of abuse and end up worth considerably less.
cheers | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:45:20 PM | | why does it even have to be a diamond? who started this? the diamond industry, wedding rings can be of any stone or stones of ones choice and price should never reflect someones love for another. if you dont buy me an 8,000 ring im not marrying you.....don't let the door hit you in the azz | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:46:41 PM | why does it even have to be a diamond? who started this? the diamond industry, wedding rings can be of any stone or stones of ones choice and price should never reflect someones love for another. if you dont buy me an 8,000 ring im not marrying you.....don't let the door hit you in the azz
A good friend of mine got a very pretty 250$ tanzanite ring (that's what she wanted... she's a lot like me and thinks diamonds are stupid... she calls them "death rocks"... hehe) for her engagement ring, and it's so much more pretty than any diamond I've ever seen. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:09:47 PM | said I wouldn't want an $800 dollar ring last time
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That's understandable from a woman with good common sense. Why spend $800 on something only worth $200 that might go down the toilet, literally? How's about a nice $500 ring, and the cash starts your kids college fund?
Or check Ebay, I think you could find 1000's of identical rings for 50% less than a jewelry store. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:18:14 PM | i think the guy would get more use out of the bike or quad, and probably keep it long than the women | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:35:10 PM |
i think the guy would get more use out of the bike or quad, and probably keep it long than the women
My Motocross bike that I bought new in 1998 has outlasted a couple girlfriends and one wife. I still ride it. The cost per ride was MUCH less than my ex wife. | |
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| How much is enough???
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:35:17 PM | Really, all the arguing here is sort of pointless. When a couple decides that they are ready to move onto marriage, they are most likely already of a similar mind on what should be done regarding a ring. The regret around the amount spent on a ring doesn't happen usually until the divorce or if they get engaged and then break up.
I mean your girl is gonna be flashing that thing to all her girlfriends and you want to give her something to show off right? It shouldn't matter what impresses others. The last ring I had, everyone looked at strangely, because it was a custom design. The guy I'm with currently has already expressed a desire to use titanium bands which are basically machined like any other mechanical part. He asked if I'd consider wearing motorcycle parts on my finger, and I said that would suit me just fine. I would show it off to my friends and probably get strange looks again. Since he just bought himself a lathe, I have a sneaky suspicion that he would make the rings himself as well, which really brings up the sentimental value in my book. My point is who cares what someone else thinks? | |
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