| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:42:43 PM |
Are you telling me that you don't find anything weird about a man trying to reach his ten year old son for TWO DAYS and not try the other TWO alternative numbers?
Actually...*shrugs*...I wouldnt think anything of it either.
Unless it was an emergency...I figure I'll just keep trying them on the cell a coupla times a day every day or so till I got ahold of them.
My ex hubby rings the kids on their cells all the time...they dont always hear it, answer it OR get back to him the same day or the next.
Doesnt put him into panic mode and start calling me on my cell or the house. | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:48:31 PM | Well put it this way "I" think that its weird; and that doesn't make me crazy, it just means that my oppinion differs from yours. Okay. Now, back to origanal question please... | |
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| What's a girl to do ? Sigh....
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:34:42 PM | | i am in the same type of thing you are in my sons mother would go from being real nice to hateful and then not talk for weeks. my son is 21 and working. if i were you keep up the non texting and talking to him let him make the first call or text then tell him straight the if him wants a freindly relationship because your son then he will have to make changes in the way he talks and acts towards you. good luck | |
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| What's a girl to do ? Sigh....
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:57:01 PM | imortalhawkes81
Thanks so much for the advice. Its something to see that I am not the only one going through this. I have stopped texting and calling him (not that I was doing it that much in the first place). The part of me that was curious was the part that used to be, not his girlfriend, but his friend. We had a lonnnnng friendship before we decided to screw that up by getting on to a relationship. Lesson learned. | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:06:05 AM | | Perhaps he resally does value you as a friend but there is something about your 2 personalities that just aggravate each other? | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:47:22 AM | | mmm I attempted to edit this one and it ended up as a double post .... the next one has all of my thoughts for this. | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:58:11 AM | You say that you dont raise your voice use profaity etc, down to a lot of personal work.
I ponder, and by no means intend to slight you, did much of this work reach fruitition after/near the end of your relationship with him?
It is possible that he still has a certian amount of this being refreshed in his mind. Normal thought and emotional thought dont always co-exist to well. Just ask someone with a phobia, thier rational thinking may show them all the reasons why things are irrational in their responses, their emotional aspects however over rule it and promt the responses they have. I am not meaning to make a comparison, just using that to illistrate the point.
He may well still have some deep seated feelings for you. Sometimes allowing himself to rant some and vent about life in general, sometimes feeling that he needs to back away before he does something (perhaps kiss you? perhaps rant on previous sores?) that wouldnt be very fruitful. Perhaps this is true and yet he has in many respects moved on, just that simply being around you refreshes the feelings.
Then again, you say he works in law enforcement. Is it not also possible that the stresses his work places on him (sleep, activity, general lifestyle and experiences there) are also perhaps affecting him? Not all work can have a positive benefit, apart from paying bills.
Is it not yet possible he doesnt know how to take things with you perhaps? He may have felt at the end ofthe realtionship he was walking on eggshells with you. (justifiably or not) as a result he sometimes lets his guard down and just vents and talks.
Maybe hes testing the water at various times - checking if things are still amicable with you.
Maybe sometimes he jsut gets so stressed - he'll even vent and talk about stuff with you even tho he generally tries not to be too involved you.
There are Im sure a great many things that I do not know about this, and even if I knew them all I may still yet find my self miles off the mark.
Perhaps it could be a combination of some of those, perhaps all the time perhaps some of the times. Or some of the other suggestions mentioned by others.
Oh and if I may make suggestion, based on anothers post here.
They suggested to use him to teach your son not to be like him.
I would suggest rather to help your son become the man he wants to be.
Rather than making the focus what not to be. His mind needs to orbit around something better than that, perhaps. Im also certain he has a good idea about how the sorts of directions he may want to go, even if his ideas arent fully developed and well articulated.
Seeds neither describe nor appear as trees, even when they are but young sapplings -eventually they articulate themselves to describe entire solid trees.
That is the view I would give - Im sure though you will with good care have your own :)
I wish you both luck. | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:08:07 PM | I agree with the OP on that one.
A normal 'dad' would call to see if everything was OK. I know my ex would.
OP Just keep thinking, 8 more years, and you dont gotta talk to him again :)
My ex and I get along great, if he acted like that I would definately be pissed. You share a kid, which means the 'Adults' need to act like adults at all times for the kid(s) sake. Divorce is hard enough on children and immature parents like your hubby make it twice as bad. JMO | |
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| Please answer This...
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:49:23 AM | OP, I'm with most people on this one about the cell phone thing.
Your son is away, most likely his Dad knows this and was just trying to say hi or something minor to that affect. Your taking it to many levels above that does stand out big time.
No, normal people do not call someone's parents just because they couldn't get a reply from them pronto after leaving a couple of messages on their cell phones.
I think that B part is more relevant now.
When people respond to this cell phone thing that you brought up it is on topic.
It's weird, like as if you are in on this Thing with the cell phone and you think that because you REFUSE it shows him, your ex-husband and Dad to your son, but your son's Dad is not knowing that you are pissed over the phone calls to your own son's cell. A lot of unconnected points in life there.
I'll bet you give your son and his Dad a couple of moments of chuckles from your reactions to things that they can figure out and the ones that no one can figure out but still come from you.
Take up yoga or some kind of relaxing hobby. This could give you some peace of mind OP. | |
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