| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:55:40 PM | I doubt there is one person on here who would say that they have no passion for life. There are happy, passionate, successful people everywhere who would go unnoticed in a crowd. I have seen people at the bar who were so enamored with themselves that they thought they were the focal point of the place, I guess the truth would only have been disappointing to them..lol.
I have been thinking about this couple and one thing nobody has mentioned is that these people were in their element. Being in your element is right next to charm in my book. I have seen people who were "stars" in the bars they regularly attended go to a party and go unnoticed. I have never been one to feel totally comfortable in a bar. I have always felt like a shoe on the wrong foot. This couple must feel in their element in a club or bar. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:38:48 AM |
For the fellow who wondered if they were from out of town visiting poor old "decrepit" Detroit,...
Ha, ha, I'm female. And *you* said it was a dive bar, lol. So, I thought "okay, they need to pick a better POF location next time, lol."
Being "on" to meet and greet new people is an attitude thing. When I first moved here, I thought I was going to have so much fun being single in a new town that I had bounce in my step, a smile for everyone, and I always dressed to the nines. And people said "You're different. You... just GLITTER!"
Okay, fast forward 2 years. Now I see I'm living in poverty & unempoyment & drinking & drug land, few single males have anything going for them, there is noplace "glittery" to go out on "glittery" dates, and local men don't date, anyway, because they work 2 or 3 jobs just to pay their bills. Less than 35% of the workforce here has even "some college," (which means they went one semester, didn't study, said it's too hard, and quit.) So what are my chances of finding a local man who has as much to offer me as I have to offer the man? Exactly nil. Garbage in, garbage out. So, I "glitter" in this town no more. I save it for out-of-town. Here, I drab down and mostly pass unnoticed. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:42:21 AM | | And the day I become the "star" of any bar is the day I'm going to shoot myself dead, LOL. Gawd, talk about a fate worse than dateless, hahahahahaha! | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:33:13 AM |
Now if you take two healthy expressive people and put them in a good relationship, you end up with what you described. So much positive energy is given off that everyone around them can feel it immediately.
When you have two people who care about each other and enjoy life, the very air around them sparkles with life and love. People around them feel their joy. I have known a few couples like that in my life, perhaps that is what makes me so "picky". | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:45:33 AM | | Sanschele, to be honest, after reading your post (msg. 12) I just kind of rolled my eyes. I was wrong and I apologise. You are spot on. In my own life, I have had extreme degrees of success with the opposite sex. I have had women practically battle over me, and, more often, could not pay anyone to get their attention. I never could figure this out. I think you nailed it though. I am naturally cynical. I tend to see the bad in everything rather than the good. I think the bad vibes I give off usually scares people off. On the other hand, I have known men who seem to attract women by just standing there doing nothing. Thinking about it, these guys usually are happy optomistic types. They must be giving off good vibes, which was what the couple in my OP must have been doing. It seemed so simple that it didn't seem right, but I suppose it is. Guess I should go back and read that little flyer about Attitude by Charles Swindoll that they used to pass out at work. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:27:00 AM | ...Its about giving off "positive vibes".....people tend to want to be around those types. I have 2 teenage daughters at home and my eldest has such a great disposition. She is always happy, laughing and joking and has such a positive outlook. People seem to gravitate towards her, she has lots of friends.
Now my other daughter who is 2 years younger is totally opposite, she tends to be on the negative side, very hard to please and has very few friends. She of course is very envious of her older sister's popularity......but like I tried to explain to her, people do not want to be surrounded by unhappy, negative people. I explained that whether you realize it or not, a person's negative feelings are some "absorbed" by others. No one wants to feel like that....so they avoid.
The same holds true in the adult world, who do you want to be around?
...maeflowers
 | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:58:34 PM | | I've known some people like this. Yes, my jaw is in awe of them. There are people out there that have a certain gift, I don't know if they are born with it, work at it, or perhaps some of both. People are drawn to them like magnets. They are very chrismatic people, they are very people oriented type of people. When you converse with them, you are the center of their attention. They make you feel comfortable, important, and alive. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:37:01 PM | i think these obvously just happy people are being over analysed ...they probably have bad days when they cant be arsed to dance ,smile etc.....just like everyone else
 | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:51:29 PM | | The funny thing is, I went to another POF party last night, and a guy who was there saw me talking to that couple. He gave me some info about a previous experience he had with them, which is leading me to believe they are what is known as "swingers". There were some clues to that on Friday night but I ignored it. | |
|
| |
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:56:35 PM | I think the love for yourself and not letting time go by without joining in for fun. After the hurt is gone then it is time you to get a life and kick-up your heels.
For myself, this last year has been the best for me. New friends and old friends make my life. My youngest son made a statement the other nite at my home where I was hosting a card game that of everyone there I was the coolist person and that he said that was the truth not because I was his mother! He is 32.This made me feel great. I want to be a fun person because then people want to be around me. People who are down in the dumps a lot have fewer friends. I want to be happy, not to feel depressed by them! M | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:09:42 PM | I love your post. It is positive, and it is touchingly honest.
We can all have what you saw, I believe. And I also believe that it starts with noticing....awareness. What would I need to bring to the table to get that for me???? What marbles do I already have, and what marbles do I need to trade???
Learn to dance....learn to golf...clean up my wardrobe....clean up my expectations...love myself, and appreciate others.....
...what is the glow made of?????
I dont believe it takes a lot of money to be marvelous. There are products, and exercises, and coaches, and lessons galore, all less expensive than regular drinks at the bar....all of them more work, as well, but we are SOOO worth the effort...especially if our energy results in the outcome you speak of.
notice, that your thread is one of the shorter ones. few are talking about how we could get there......only offering opinions, or blaming, or complaining and making excuses for why we are not.
I think what you are describing is likely many people's dream. I say, dont be afraid to step out from the crowd, and go after what you want with all you are made of. This is not a dress rehearsal, as they say. You can be the envied, or the envier. Just need to do the work...and I believe most of it is fun, anyway.
I do not mean to come off as some righteous pontificating anonymous soothe sayer. I also want what you saw. I am inching my way along. I would prefer things happened faster of course...but I may well meet someone on the journey, and I think that trumps wishing in the sidelines, but maybe Im just silly.
At any rate...I wish you well....and I hope you keep posting because I think this place could do with more of you..............epiclove  | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:57:14 PM | | Epiclove, I imagine you were addressing that to me, the OP. Thank you. And your post was brilliant. As for your last sentence, I feel the same towards you. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:49:32 AM |
I am still trying to figure out how 2 people can be that "alive" and make everyone else feel mundane
No one has the power to "make" us feel anyway, unless we choose to feel that way.
Some people are outgoing, some are not, & it would be good to accept ourselves for who we are & be happy w/ that.
When we are "ourselves" we tend to attract like minded people into our lives. That is why I am trying to work on being the best "me" possible | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:27:01 AM | To the previous poster who asked if this is inborn or can be achieved by effort, the answer is that it is both.
I have a step-son, now grown, who I have raised since he was four. As a child he just radiated joy and happiness and made friends wherever he went. I remember standing in line at a busy McDonalds and the next thing I know, there is five-year-old Eric standing on the counter dancing to the music with everyone clapping and laughing. He was born with that personality and I doubt he will ever lose it.
For myself, I was more of a quiet child, lost in my books and observing what was going on more than being a part of it. I set out to learn to be sociable and worked at it until it became second nature to me. I see the good side of things more than the bad. I am genuinely interested in other people. If I can make someone laugh, I am pleased. I embrace life as it is and welcome each day as precious. I learned this from my step-son with the help of several good therapists.
I have seen couples like OP described. I have been part of one myself from time to time. They do not lead me to feel mundane or jealous. They do lead me to keep  until I find a lady who also wants to dance through life to our own music, one step at a time. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:18:25 AM | I think what the OP experienced was seeing a couple who find joy in life....much like children do. I think that's why we often feel so uplifted after being with our grandchildren....we have been able to share in their joy. Unfortunately as we age, we sometimes feel we must act "appropriately" , "dignified", etc. Bullpucky! IMHO, that's part of what's wrong with this world. We're too worried about what everyone thinks of us to enjoy our own lives.
My siblings and I had crappy childhoods and I learned early on the best way to survive life was to laugh at it. I find humor in everything...sometimes it's a bit twisted, but it's there....it helps me survive the difficult times, and helps me enjoy the balance in even greater depth.
When I'm out with friends, my sister, or a date I feel I can totally be myself with, people are drawn to us because we're experiencing laughter, sharing stories, loving life and experiencing joy.
I remember one night I was with my my sister and brother-in-law in a bar and grill with karaoke. We ate dinner and sang along with the singers from our table in the back of the room, making up nasty words to the songs, telling jokes, being silly and just generally having a good time. This guy (in his 30's....I was early 50's) was sitting at the next table with two beautiful blond gals in their 20's and 30's, but he was paying more attention to our table and exchanging comments with us. At the end of the evening, he came over and put his arm around me and said "I've had the most fun partying with you guys tonight." ....he wasn't even WITH us, but at the end of the evening he had enjoyed us.
The man I am currently dating is like that. We are laughing and cutting up all the time, wherever we go. We interact with those around us; we tease and interact with waitstaff in a restaurant, people on the street, clerks in the store; we go out of our way to speak to others and share a smile, we are teasing and playful with each other and people seem to be drawn into the laughter. We were just talking about this last weekend after we stopped at a nursery to buy some plants. We were teasing each other and the staff at the nursery as we selected plants. Then as we loaded six huge azalea bushes in his little convertible leaving hardly any room to sit, the jokes and laughter escalated. As we paid for the bushes, one of the ladies said "I've never had such a fun couple of customers."
It's all about enjoying every moment of life and not being afraid to share your joy. Some people are too worried about appearances to truly let loose! It's like that quote that says:
"Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching." Dance, love, laugh and enjoy every moment like it's your last...it just might be. You'll find others thinking "Hey, what's up with that guy! He's pretty cool. I like him." You'll be the one their envious of, OP.
Good luck,
Rose Mary  | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:54:36 AM | I have retired in Baja......We have alot of Amercan retirees in my area.
What you witnessed on the dance floor, is a regular sight here...I truly believe that the beauty and youthfulness comes from your "state of mind" and radiates outwardly.
Pretty much all the people I have met here have a adventuresome spirit and can allow their"inner child" to shine thru. Hawaiian shirts, flip-flops are a daily way of life.
I have danced with men in their 70"s and have had a absolute blast...They are great dancers, will hold out their arm for you to take to the dance floor then pull your chair out on your return. You will see everyone responding to the lively music, be it Latin or rock-n-roll.
All it takes to acheive this"Nirvana" is to let go, feel the beat , tap your foot, have a smile on your face and "hit the dance floor". People respond. What could be just a night of observing has been replaced with.."The time of your life". | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:07:06 AM | | ^^^^ your a very alive person, can feel it in your post and profile. Your attitude is wonderful, alive and what more could you ask for. Living life to the fullest, smiling and laughing. My hats off to you !!!! | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:08:24 AM | I choose to be one of those "alive" people!
Matter of fact, a newspaper article was written about me (my real name is Alice), and they misspelled my name "Alive!"
Got a kick out of that! | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:55:28 AM | I must agree with CathieT msg 42.I recently moved to SW Florida.All the people in my neighborhood are seniors in their 70's+.They have pool parties,and golf every day.They wave and sime driving their golf carts through the neighborhood.Life is an attitude,positive attitude radiates positively.I enjoy playing music and do so several times a week.I see all ages of people over 50 enjoying,dancing,and cuting up.Letting go of all those insecurities and giving in to your inner child is a wonderful thing.Music is the language of the soul and if it speaks to yours then listen. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:09:53 PM | For some of people they got a second lease on life. I am one of those lucky people. I used to be intraverted, and sit back in the shadows.
10 yrs ago my life changed drastically, I had a choice to lay down and die or get up and live. I chose life, so now when I go out I try to meet as many people as I can obviously filtering good from bad and surround myself with some warm, wonderful people.
I am probably one of those people you described in the OP. The one good thing about giving out good positive vibes and love, is that whatever you send out you get back. We have a fairly large b-day bash each year, this year there were 70 attendees.
One of the first timers to the party was astonished at the people there and was even shocked that I knew them all personally. By the end of the night he had met some new firends and was acting like the people you described.
Its kind like I quote in my profile:
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a ride!!!'" | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:13:21 PM | | I think that when you love what you are doing at a given moment it shows. If you love humanity it shows. Good health, a sense of humor and good hair dye help a lot too. | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:43:35 PM | Life has so many opportunities for joy and laughter! 
Every single day!  | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:24:48 AM | QUICK! CLONE 'EM AND SEND THEM TO CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA!!!! I COULD SURE USE SOME FRIENDS LIKE THAT!!!  | |
|
| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:53:13 AM | | love will do that to ya rd. when two people are crazy in love they do light up the place because its a rare thing. | |
|
Home
login 
