| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:39:17 AM | I was bullied at school by just the one person throughout my infant years, the times i came home from school with huge bruises on my legs...Junior school the same, a girl used to stand behind me and pinch me and kick me, just because she'd taken a dislike to me.
At work.... i was chatting to my friend about someone where i work, just general stuff, or so i thought....she said to me did i realise that i was actually being bullied by this person. No i actually didn't.
My point.... children are often open about their bullying, you call some child a bad name they're more likely to bully you ... ( if thats a way to put it ) Adults on the other hand can be underhanded, malicious, sneaky...so you don't actually know its being done until somebody makes you stand and take a good look at your situation.
So yes....adult bullies are actually alot worse than school bullies....IMO. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:09:08 PM | :modhammer: seems to bring out the mods :)
Had a boss who tried to bully me, she ended up with depression after getting divorced, not sureIhad anything to do with that :) | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:32:23 PM | People pick on or "bully" someone because that person allows it. Instead of confronting the offender they complain to others. The victim feels some type of power by receiving sympathy for their conceived unfairness... it's crap.
And in this case, yes -- it is very child-like. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:38:27 PM |
People pick on or "bully" someone because that person allows it. Instead of confronting the offender they complain to others. The victim feels some type of power by receiving sympathy for their conceived unfairness... it's crap.
And in this case, yes -- it is very child-like.
I wouldn't say most people allow it. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:45:26 AM | i dont know. child bullying often includes violence which is less common in adult bullying. I have been bullyed as adult and child and i can definatly say as child was far worse. As child, you are weaker, you cant escape (school is compulsary), no-one helps (cos they're too scared or just dont care!), you dont know what to do. do you ignore it? fight back? dob them in? as an adult you can think clearer. Obviously adults should know better as they are supposed to be more mature, but i think most children (esp those in secondary schools) know better so they cant really use that "exscuse".
The best thing to do is first try not to let it get to you, sually they do it to get a "response". If that fails you only have the option of informing someone. Your boss (OP) will hardly turn "violent" so you needn't fear it, she could try to sack you so its best to get witnesses. Otherwise just try to get a different job, or wait it out til eventually she goes...i dont know. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:56:59 AM | Imo adult bullying is a reflection of the severe sexual inadequacy of the perpetrator.
I think it's a reflection of the sever inadequacy the bully feels about him/herself, they need to pick on people who they see as being weak because they're also cowards, if they can't find anyone who they see as weak, then they have to bully someone in a pack since again, they're just cowards.
So how's the trolling going anyway? | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:07:39 AM | I've experienced severe workplace bullying in a job I left last year, after 20 years service.
The bullying lasted over two years and was from senior managers. It cost me my health and although in a much better working environment now, I still find it hard to feel comfortable when in new work situations. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:16:43 AM | | i HATE bullies..iv been sacked from a few jobs for standing up to them..nearly everytime..the tormentor has absolutly kacked himself and backed down and then ran crying to the top bananas..beleive me..its in most bullies natures to freeze with fear when they confront somone who aint scared of them..for anyone out there who is a victim of a bully..just have a go back..and see what happens.... | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:24:17 AM | | Any form of bullying is totally acceptable but in my experience being bullied in childhood tends to have a more detrimental effect on the victim as these are the years that mould who you are for the rest of your life. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:52:49 AM | | any form of bullying is wrong, however i do think adult bullies are wosre because they are old enough to know better! bullies are weak inadequite people who should take care of their own lives before trying to destroy anothers | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:02:38 AM | | I disagree. I think it is a lot harder for a child to deal with bullying(confiding in someone.)and can make them feel very isolated. As an adult you can express your fears, change your circumstances or if all else fails give the a***hole a good right hook. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:08:17 AM | | Bullying is bullying. I'm not exactly proud of the fact, but I've been watching this year's Big Brother and I think there's a superb case of how adult bullying is tolerated. Am I really the only person who's noticed the bullying going on there? Rex has been relentlessly bullying Rachel for the last 2-3 weeks. He's at her constantly and it's disgusting that this has not been picked up in the same way that the Indian girl's was in the last series. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:37:06 AM | ^^ So by virtue of her perceived falsity, she is fair game?
Nice, real nice... No one should be bullied, if you do not like someone then avoid them but for God's sake act like an adult and not a bratty kid... Never should the victim be blamed ... It is always totally and utterly 100% the perpetrators fault, 100% of the time...
Not the most sensible comment I've ever read ....  | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:48:24 PM | It is always totally and utterly 100% the perpetrators fault, 100% of the time...
I'd disagree here. In an ideal society yes, if you were to look for blame then it might lie squarely on the shoulders of the bully.
However we don't. And some people get bullied because they have not develeoped the skills to assist them in preventing it, because they wish to be a victim, because they're stuck in a mindset and can't get out of it, because there's something brash and not nice about them that rubs a lot of people up and their response is to bully. Some even get bullied because they get into a power struggle with say, a boss at work. They haven't the humility to back down and the boss hasn't the skills to manage the situation so it turns into bullying.
Some people get bullied and they deal with it because they aren't a victim type. That's good but difficult to achieve sometimes if the bully is a boss at work for example.
In those cases though often the person deals more effectively with the bullying than others would, and more often there's a positive outcome to it.
Edit: I've known bullies in the workplace, and they don't bully everyone. That says something. However I do agree that it sholdn't be accepted or allowed, just that taking the bully out of the equation does not always solve the problem. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:57:41 PM |
some people get bullied because they have not develeoped the skills to assist them in preventing it, because they wish to be a victim, because they're stuck in a mindset and can't get out of it, because there's something brash and not nice about them that rubs a lot of people up and their response is to bully. Some even get bullied because they get into a power struggle with say, a boss at work. They haven't the humility to back down and the boss hasn't the skills to manage the situation so it turns into bullying.
A lot of those examples scream out easy target ,just because people may handle situations differently does not give anybody the right to pick on their so called weaknesses just for their own amusement and fellings of superiority.
I do agree however that some people do like to play victim on occasion.These people seem to entice conflict and hard feeling so they can cry out bully,attention seeking behaviour usually. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:58:01 PM | School yard bullies are bad enough,but generally grow out of it in most cases and hopefully learn by thier mistakes.
Adult bullies are just low human biengs with nothing better to do in thier sad little lifes and tend to do it out jealousy and should know better
Adult bullies are alot worse than child bullies as they then breed child bullies as its acceptable behaviour in thier mind. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:38:45 PM | Msg 42, I do see what you are saying and I do know of people who aren't content unless they are the victim of someone or something....
However, they still would not be victims if it weren't for the bullies... No bullies equals no victims... Simple fact....
EDIT.....vvv Bully and Bullied need help..... Excellent point ... | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:50:16 PM | No bullies equals no victims... Simple fact....
I think there'll always be victims, even if bullying didn't exist people would find other ways of being a victim.
I'm not condoning bullying of course and there are situations such as inexperienced teens in the work place, who may suffer from a boss with a slave driver attitude. It's bad and just another aspect of the dark side of human nature.
I think my main point is that especially for young people at school and those in the workplace, bully and bullied both may need help, not just getting rid of the bully. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 3:05:32 PM | | bullies and the bullied need help..? what sort of kack is that..? the bullie need a good pasting and degrading..and another good pasting after that...its no use sitting in a room telling a bully he is a nice bloke/lass and that we all feel sorry for him cos his dad was a drunk and his mother smackhead..and all his bullying and causeing grief and misery to alot of other innocents..is not his fault..and we feel sorry for him..and all start crying..and buying him cakes and sending him on holidays and such..feck him/her..put in in a nick with bigger.more violent people than him/her..and let them sort it...i wish the do gooders of this country would care more for the victims of these bullys ..all they seem to care for is the wellfare of the bully..rapist.terrorist.peodofile..etc etc..its no wonder the world is all ****ed up..... | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/11/2008 4:21:08 PM | Agree with you 100% there horace. I have in the past been the victim of a workplace bully, everyone knew exactly what was going on, including our bosses. This guy had been a bully at school , and carried on as he became an adult. He bullied not just in work where i knew him from, but others that he took a dislike to maybe in the pub or football. It was difficult to get help, most others kept their heads down. They knew if they intervened they would be targeted. One woman took him to court and had a visit from a couple of his friends the night before the case. She backed down, and would'nt give evidence, so he walked away.
I now do voluntary work, and found i need to offer support quite often to people who are being bullied, both sexes and all ages.
Astro thanks very much for that website. I'll give it out to the people who need our help, i'm sure they will make use if it. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:58:05 AM | Bullies are bullies whether they stand 3ft or 6ft. I hate 'em ! I was bullied at school really badly and so was my daughter on her first day at senior school, to the point I had to take her kickboxing to get it to stop.
I had to start with her as well (she no confidence it was the only way !) 7 years later I dont tolerate bullies, if you have a go back when they are out of the office i.e car park or ask them if they have a problem they soon learn to keep their scheming minds in control. Theres no excuse. The are bullies for a reason totally insecure, and useless and should be treated as misfits. | |
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| Are adult bullies as bad as school bullies?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:40:53 AM | "As bad as..." You're talking as if bullying only has one way of manifesting itself, and only one effect on the victim.
Adult bullies are worse in some ways and not as bad in others.
Adult bullies are worse for the fact that as grown-ups, they shouldn't be employing that sort of tactic to assert themselves.
Adult bullies are better, though, for having less of a strength/hitting power difference between them and their victim. | |
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