| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:10:55 PM | If money is so important and she could date any man than why “older”? If only money is the determining factor why would it be an older man with money and not a man her same age and maybe even better looking if she also wanted looks. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that there is probably something about the old coot that she finds more appealing than the younger counterpart and it’s probably not money?
There are many possible reasons. Maybe the older man was willing to spend more money on her. Maybe she went after the first man ( with a reasonable amount of money ) that showed interest in her. For the sake of argument. Suppose the much older man did have a good personality. As I mentioned earlier, would she still have dated him if he was a working class man who made a modest living? IMO probably not in most cases. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:40:06 PM |
As I mentioned earlier, would she still have dated a much older man if he was a working class man who made a modest living?
Since this is what I witness most often I would say, yes.
The whole point is that the majority of everyday people are “average” in looks with “average” incomes and lifestyles as opposed to the young good looking playboys or the wealthy old men. They are very much the minority. How do you explain the multitudes of couples in the world when most of the men are not playboys and older wealthy men? The numbers just don’t add up. If all you see are couples that look like they are carved out of cheesecake and women with rich men (whether young or old good looking or not) it is just one more reason why I love where I live. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:44:08 PM | Since this is what I witness most often I would say, yes.
I have seen plenty of women dating men with average looks or modest incomes / lifestyles and vice versa. But I don't see a large percentage of younger women dating much older men with modest incomes and lifestyles at least in my area. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:54:16 AM |
So my question is, is there double standards for maintenence of looks and youthful appearance with older daters? Are women more accepting and forgiving when it comes to those types of things?
I believe there is a double standard, however I also think it’s an outdated one that harkens back to when women were much more dependent on men, financially, psychologically and because of societal norms.
It used to be that in many situations, becoming a single, middle aged female was a very undesirable state to find oneself in so it was a priority for many of these women to change that as quickly as possible. Single middle aged men knew this also and because they were in demand it was unnecessary for them to have to try very hard to make and keep themselves attractive to the opposite sex. For the single, middle aged woman however, it was essential, lest she remain alone in that undesirable “single” situation.
Well, the times they are achangin’! And they have been for a number of years. It’s no longer unacceptable or undesirable for a middle aged woman to be single and many are successfully enjoying that lifestyle and many prefer it as well. Sadly, many men have not recognized nor accepted that new reality. The paradigm has shifted and it’s no longer good enough for a man to JUST be single and available in order to be attractive to single, middle aged women. That ship has sailed and those men who are still ON it, are finding that the fishing ain’t that great from that boat! Their “bait” is no longer very appealing. 
LH | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:59:25 AM | | How you look is up to you, its your own challenge in life and remember without a great attitude and personality even the best looking woman is ugly. | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 108 | |
| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:34:32 AM | If "it" refers to keeping fit and trim physically, then men and women both need to work at "it" harder after 45, IMHO. Nothing wrong with that if you have pride in your appearance.
I was one of those obnoxious people who, up until 40, had a fast-burning metabolism. I never had to watch what I ate...but when I turned 40, did I pay for it! I can now gain weight easily if I'm not careful, so I watch my diet while not denying myself completely. I have a booty anyway...and it can get to be a BIG booty if I indulge in too many sweets! Not attractive. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:17:28 AM |
I`m not seeing that same attitude when it comes to older men. Alot of them are out there dating , quite readily, thin and youthful women, and not being bothered by their big ponch, their aged physique. They seem to be fine with themselves just the way they are , as are alot of the women who are more than honored to date them.
Can you please tell me where these women are? 
We all tend to see the world through filters of our perceptions. I think you're seeing this because of such a filter. I would tend to say the attraction is either because his personality is spectacular, or his wallet is.
If you are at least fairly attractive, I would bet there are men looking at you while you're looking at someone else. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:45:04 PM | I am dating a guy who is 55 and he looks 42. And believe me, he WORKS at it. He is obsessed with working out and eating right...etc. I couldn't be more obesessed then he. In fact I hang with him in hopes his determation and dedication rubs off on me. I know other guys that age who also work out and they are well aware of the advantages of looking good when attracting women.
So in my opinion, no. I like a guy who takes care of himself..period. So they do have to work as hard, at least to date me. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:27:48 PM |
We all tend to see the world through filters of our perceptions. I think you're seeing this because of such a filter. I would tend to say the attraction is either because his personality is spectacular, or his wallet is.
....or he has * wink, wink * spectacular "man stuff " 
...maeflowers | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:12:10 AM | | Do you think that women over 45 don't wear their age as a badge of pride and experience? We all get older, we all get wrinklier...there's nothing we can do about it cos all the miracle anti aging creams in the world combined will never alter your appearance that much. Silly to cling to youth really isn't it? Make the most of what life gave you, you can do no more than that. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:04:17 AM | Gawd, men over 45 have to work hard too. At 47 I have to watch what I eat and exercise regularly to keep in shape.
I wear my wrinkles with pride too and I have zero problem with no longer having the hair I had in my '20's. No Ashley & Martins for me, and certainly no 'rugs' or 'comb-overs'! lol
What really creeps me out is when I see a movie or a tv show out of America where the middle-aged actress has implants and a permanent 'surprised' look on her stretched, botox-inflamed face. In the quest to remove imperfections they remove the very things that give a face character and make it interesting.
And it's not just the women either, has anybody seen Sylvester Stallone lately?
Silly to cling to youth really isn't it? Make the most of what life gave you, you can do no more than that.
Ah, but where would that leave the poor billion-dollar plastic-surgery business that hovers like a vulture and trades upon peoples' insecurities about their imperfections? | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:13:34 AM |
I wear my wrinkles with pride too and I have zero problem with no longer having the hair I had in my '20's. No Ashley & Martins for me, and certainly no 'rugs' or 'comb-overs'! lol
...Thank heavens for that....we don't want to see another Donald Trump look alike
What really creeps me out is when I see a movie or a tv show out of America where the middle-aged actress has implants and a permanent 'surprised' look on her stretched, botox-inflamed face. In the quest to remove imperfections they remove the very things that give a face character and make it interesting.
....I tend to agree with you on this, I find the more mature male much more attractive than his younger counterpart.
...In my opinion, if you want to look good, stay healthy, you have to work at it, regardless of gender.
...maeflowers | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:54:00 AM | I read every posting and smiled so much my cheeks hurt. We all have to work hard to have any relationship. At 50 I came into my own. I realized no one could make me happy but me. Quote "You're only as happy as you choose to be!" I am not a "Barbie" and due to genetics will never be. I am truly okay with that. What I have to work at is being myself. Too many times I think we fall into the trap of trying to be what someone else wants us to be. But after 45, we should get over and totally reinvent "peer pressure". Be who you are and expect others to be who they are. Sometimes that takes a bit of coercing them into being who they truly are. Quirky is not so weird to me anymore. Especially my own quirkyness. Honestly there still is in me a certain criteria. But in saying that, I have gone on dates with several who don't meet that criteria and have had a wonderful time. In fact most didn't become too serious because I didn't know in reading the expectations what most of them meant.
ie. activity partner, dating) My children laughed hysterically when I told them what I found out. Bottom line be yourself and be patient. Barbie wasn't created over night and neither were you! | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:27:35 PM | OP: When an older guy spreads enough bread around he looks like Adonis to some
broads. No double standard just look past my faults and over at the stacks of cash
baby! Now lets' get jiggy wid it!
LOL!
Skunxster
PS. It's a joke...It's always a joke! | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:56:02 PM |
In the 50 something singles scene, it seems to me that women are judged much tougher as far as looks and body than men in the same age bracket.
Wha--huh? WHERE have you been for the last 50 years, on Mars? Women are ALWAYS judged tougher on looks than men from the moment they're BORN. Are you saying it took you 50 years to notice this ?!?
As for working harder --- NO.
The plain deal is that BOTH men and women need to WORK at it PERIOD. You're not going to get your dream girl/guy by laying around and expecting someone to just cater to your middle-age habits. You have to work at a relationship at age 50 the same as you had to work at one at 40, at 30, at 20, even in the playground at age 10 you had to figure out how to navigate the social scene without making all the opposite sex your enemies. This is something that never changes.
A good relationship takes work, PERIOD. Anyone over 50 who thinks the opposite sex has to respect their age and just bow down to their whims is totally deluded. Wooing is necessary at every age. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 122 | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 124 | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:12:32 AM | Promise Shimbo?
Anyway.. we all have a need to learn. Therefore.. it's pretty safe to say.. we all work on us daily.. like it.. or not. Outward appearances can only be improved upon to a certain extent even with plastic surgery*.. but our inner-beauty is always a work in progress. I don't see it coming out of Hollywood at our ages as much as those cabaret-dancers in Las Vegas. Hollywood actors and actresses.. just seem to try to hang on to the same exact look of their favorite photo of their youth. Kinda scary if you ask me. Un-natural!
* Has anyone in here seen some of the "things" that have been "created".. as they are obsessed over plastic surgery in Las Vegas? Egads!! | |
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