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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:34:57 AM |
In the 50 something singles scene, it seems to me that women are judged much tougher as far as looks and body than men in the same age bracket.
I disagree with that statement,, I love the look of a woman my age,,,
I mean , I think most older women realize that if they let themselves go physically, gain weight, get wrinkly, have bad hair, have high blood bressure and bad lifestyles, the odds of them attracting a man fall down sharply.
Every thing you mentioned can happen at any age group,, this man at any age I was in my life,, looked for a woman who kept her self up,, in weight, lifestyles,,, better said,, I think a man or a woman at any age who doesnt take care of themselves will have a difficult time attracting a partner..
I`m not seeing that same attitude when it comes to older men. Alot of them are out there dating , quite readily, thin and youthful women, and not being bothered by their
big ponch, their aged physique. They seem to be fine with themselves just the way they are , as are alot of the women who are more than honored to date them.
As a man of fifty,, I work at keeping myself up,, no big beer belly,, I have the weather look, some young woman like that look, but again,, I prefer a woman around my age,, for so many good reasons..
So my question is, is there double standards for maintenence of looks and youthful appearance with older daters? Are women more accepting and forgiving when it comes to those types of things?
I don't think there is a double standard,, just look at some of the older woman who will only date younger men,,
I don't see why this is important any way,, if a man or woman isn't right for us,, or us them,, we should just move forward and not take it so personally..
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:09:41 AM |
I disagree with that statement,, I love the look of a woman my age,,,
...What about someone thats a tad older than you
I don't think there is a double standard,, just look at some of the older woman who will only date younger men,,
....Well that depends upon how young....won't go much younger than 5 to 7 years, then I become uncomfortable.
I don't see why this is important any way,, if a man or woman isn't right for us,, or us them,, we should just move forward and not take it so personally..
....Bingo....
....maeflowers
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:43:02 AM | Ut-oh.. I'm gonna have to chime in here then and say.. not all of us have the genetic predisposition to be considered "healthy" by some peoples standards.. or "look" as "well-maintained" as others. I think beauty comes from the mind and heart.. not the muscle as opposed to some flab.. or some skin conditions including wrinkles.
I always try to remember.. a weighty person "may" lose weight.. a seemingly unattractive person "may" smile and become the most beautiful person in the world.
It's all a matter of how you perceive beauty.
Health may very well be a matter of genetics. So.. a person that ends up with a thyroid problem through his/her genes would be less "attractive" if they have no choice in their weight issues? I think not. It's what's underneath the skin that counts.
The word shallow always comes to mind with those that care only about the cover.. and not the book contained within. JMO | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:47:35 AM | mae, it's so nice to see you again,,
...What about someone thats a tad older than you
I work well with tads,, I'm like a slide rule,, I can move up or down,, depending on the woman,,,,,,,
This man is not sure at sure of his age limits,, everything has to do with the maturity of a woman, physical attraction, are we on the same page in life, will or value coexist together,, the list goes on and on,,, now I know why I'm alone LOL... | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:04:32 AM | That's quite the laundry list norm..  !
I wonder.. is there a person alive that could fit such perfection you think?
(I'm just gonna doddle over in the corner.. and hide.. ) | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:20:39 AM | it is quite a list isn't it,, however,, I said nothing about perfection,, what might be perfect to me, may not be for another, I may find a woman who I think is perfect for me,, yet she my see me as not perfect for her,, so we all move on, until we find what is perfect for each other,, it's really that simple,, and until such time,, I live life in what I call my own perfect world,, yet it may not be considered by someone else's standards,, You gotta love the freedom of choice,, the ability to dream,, and the attitude to move forward,,
OT,, I personality do not think men or women should have work hard at all to secure a relationship,, I would rather say,, be happy with who you are first,, and if that special person comes along,, That would just be the icing on the cake,, with that,, we will certainly be able to share in each others happiness,,, makes for a better couple,, | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:22:23 AM |
I work well with tads,, I'm like a slide rule,, I can move up or down,, depending on the woman,,,,,,,
...Thats good, since I'm just a tad over 5 ft and a tad older haha...slide rule ya say, *can't get that image outta my head*.... as she works her way towards the treadmill.
...maeflowers | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:35:50 AM | Nope.. that was me saying perfection norm.. not you. It just sounded like the perfect woman when I read your list. No biggie.. you know what you want.. and aren't afraid to state it.. that's a good thing.
Mae..
While you're on that treadmill.. would ya do a few steps for me? Please?
I'm not picking Mae.. I just have a real bad foot problem and can't do the walking like I used to.. treadmills kind of "escape me".. or.. I kinda escape them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey.. like my slide off the treadmill? | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:24:51 AM | | Personally, I think it should be easier for women over 45. I can't run after them nearly so energetically as I used to be able to do, so getting away from me requires a lot less energy. In my younger days I was easily able to run them down. Now, with the walker and all, they can easily escape on their tricycles..... | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:30:32 AM | I am with norm on this one. Both men and women can be the type that let themselves go. I think anyone that lets themselves go will have more trouble attracting those of the opposite sex who have not done so. If you are out there looking for a fit, healthy lifestyle active individual, you pretty well have to be such a person yourself it you hope to succeed. I think we all must be pretty much aware that the end of the line is within sight, more clearly to some than to others, and so the idea of long term investments in someone who is not quite congruent to ourselves is a bit unrealistic.
Besides, as is well known, you can't really expect to change anyone. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:02:54 PM | I have had to work harder after 45, after 55 and after 65. It may not be that I am working harder, just takes a little longer to get the job done.
And the pay isn't that good either! | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:13:30 PM | What is the "it" that they are working harder at exactly? I remember a young lady I knew long ago that was always at least an hour late. She certainly spent a lot of time on her appearance. In my opinion she would have looked fine in jeans without makeup but I never got a chance to see her that way. The first time I kissed her she got upset that her makeup might have been disturbed. I cannot imagine any woman who has gotten past 45 and would still be doing that.
Most ladies I have met have learned how to look good efficiently; I think they don't work as hard because they know what to do and how to do it. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:34:06 PM | Hello everyone.
I myself am 54. Yes you do have to work a little harder to keep
in good shape. but i do it to feel good about myself. Ive been told many time i dont look 54 i look in my late 30's to early 40's.
Now i never date men my age im sorry it just seems to me they dont seem
to care much. Im not saying they are not nice but ive never like a couch potato, wink.
Ive always taken care of my face with lots of my ROC cream and walk and try to
get my workouts in. Im still dating men in there late 20's 30's and 40's.
So wake up Nebraska men and keep up with us older ladies, wink if you can !
Proud to be 54 !!! | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:46:31 PM | Wow i totally agree with you !!!
Its time to enjoy and have fun.
My girls are raised and im enjoying wonderful sweet times now.
Im ready for the plane tickets to roll in, lol just a little teasing. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:52:09 PM | We cannot change the fact that older men are often described as "mature" or "sophisticated" and older women are usually not. This is not a battle we can win
Oh yes we CAN change how we as a society think and there are many previously lost battles that can be won later. It's been done many times very successfully.
I think the only reason men have been cut so much slack in the looks department as they get older is because WE WOMEN have been stroking their egos for so long to get at their money that we have forgotten that we were lying all along. (not that I ever resorted to that kind of debasing behaviour - nope, never - my mom taught me better than that).
Look at the old moves we grew up with. Old men with beautiful young girls. It was a mans world. Men made and spent the money and that controlled the media which affected our perception. That's ALL CHANGING.Now that we have good jobs and money just watch what will happen. Look at all the older women in hollywood with work and young hot men they are marrying. It's all changing. Yes that will trickly down to ordinary society. It already has.
Face it, in the past, women put up with a lot of double standards for the sake of men's comfort because we couldn't survive without them and we even internalised those standards and imposed them on ourselves - we put ourselves down. We did it for so long we take all kinds of things for truths that are simly old fashioned out dated nonsense that we as women are just as much to blame for perpetuating.
Now that's all changed. Wake up and enjoy the playing field. It's a lot easier today. Stop fighting it. An old guy is no more attractive than an old girl. Young hotties with older guys are after money and daddy. Don't envy them. It's not a good place to be for those guys a few years down the road when the hottie leaves with two kids and their house and his umpteenth child support payment.
Women are their own worst enemies a lot of the time and like to keep themselves and each other down more even than the men oftentimes. I have no time for women that do this. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:57:42 PM | I think it's expected, by most of the male gender, that women look GOOD?? for their age. I think women are expected to work harder at looking good after 45, by men in the same age group, even though, they(men) don't seem to have the same expectations for themselves.
As a woman, well over 45, I've experienced the double standard.
As an example, I've just spent the last 36 hours in airports or on planes. The stewards asked if anyone needed extensions for their seatbelts? Yes, I've witnesssed a few over 45 men that needed them.
Upon observation, I see men not paying attention to their weight, grooming, dental care etc. yet expect a lady to be " fit, trim, etc." , personified. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:16:53 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^this is true, the older guys think they can let themselves go and we will still want them. Not happening from all the forums I've read. No wonder women are dating younger men. No wonder there are metrosexuals. Smart younger less old fashioned guys know they have to work at getting our attention because we do that for them and we don't NEED some old pot bellied guy to pay our mortgage anymore. Those days are OVER!!
Personally, I'd rather go to bed with my vibrator and my fantasy guy in my imagination than 99% of the guys my age that hit on me. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:28:12 PM | Well.. from what I've been seeing for quite some time between the sexes on the forum.. most of the women are interested in a mans personality.. not his money.. and most men are interested in sex.. and all the positions that turn them on. There are those few that cross those lines. The exceptions to the rules.. the gentlemen that focus on the personality and compatability aspects of a woman.. and the women that would do anything.. anything for money.. material possessions.. or to hang on to what they "presume" to be a "hot" prospect.
For the most part though.. I think the money end of it all is out for "we women".
All the way up until I had my "little accident".. I was considered by some as an aerobic goddess.. and an exercise guru. So.. physically.. I've cut down quite a bit on the ole "working" on me. Since then.. my focus has been much more the mental and intellectual side of me. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:02:54 AM |
Personally, I'd rather go to bed with my vibrator and my fantasy guy in my imagination than 99% of the guys my age that hit on me.
Ouch Tinydancer! lol
Makes me glad I don't live over there in Calgary, I don't think my poor, fragile ego could take a rejection like THAT! | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:56:46 AM |
Well.. from what I've been seeing for quite some time between the sexes on the forum.. most of the women are interested in a mans personality.. not his money..
I agree that most women SAY they are interested in personality, laughing, or doing things "spontaneously" whatever that means; however from the response of men on these forums I would say that women respond much more readily to money or social status and start looking for the personality later.
I agree that men are interested in sex and toys and gadgets for the most part, so for them it's harder when they were able to lure a woman with money and toys before, but now it doesn't work.
For women I don't know where the working harder part comes in, because women still control the dating scene, they still decides WHO gets a date and who doesn't. They still decide IF sex happens and WHEN. This is true whether a woman is taut like a 20-year old or towing 4 kids and two ex-husbands. The woman still decides, so is it like some reality show where the contestant says "This is the hardest decision I've ever made!" when any viewer can see it's a no-brainer???
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:43:43 AM | ^^^ I don’t agree. Men are just as capable of saying “no, I don’t want to date you”, or “no, I don’t want to have sex with you” to a woman as women are of saying those things to men. And many of them do! I’ve read countless posts from men on these forums, particularly in the Over 45 forum, who regularly turn down offers of NSA sex. Personally, I know of many men in my age group who complain about being pursued aggressively by horny, middle aged women whose sole intent is to get laid.
I find it quite ironic that the ole “I’ve got the p*ssy so I’ve got the power” argument that men like to flog, ONLY seems to apply when they want to have sex with a woman who doesn’t want to have sex with them
For decades, men have been using excuses like that, as well as the old chestnuts concerning lack of money or social status, to explain why women are not attracted to them. It’s easier than admitting that the fault lies within themselves; that their lack of positive personality and character traits, and their lack of physical appeal, is what turns a lot of women away. Money and social status many have been important to women in bygone years, but they are NOT anymore. We have our own now and we look for other, less tangible attributes. Attributes that you can’t buy or climb a ladder to obtain.
The sooner men start to realize this, the greater success they will have with attracting the kind of women that appeal to THEM.
LH | |
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