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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:02:13 AM | | Sometimes there are "deal breakers" in a relationship. If he wants that as part of his life and you don't well then you shouldn't be together. You have your particular set of standards and so does he. That doesn't make him a bad person or you, you two just have different lifestyle choices that don't match up. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:52:06 AM | | i am a bisexual man also it scares the hell out of women when you tell them cause women are so worried about being cheated on and instead of it being a woman its a man i dont tell woman i date till after we break up if we still talk cause normally that is what we call a wrecking ball and it will scares all women away because nothing is more crushing to a spouse or gf or bf then being cheating on with someone in the same sex as your lover cause its what they least aspect but i am not a cheater if im with that person im with them till the end cause my x did the same thing you did an went ape and broke it off then and there | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:00:37 AM | my bf is bi, as am i. I like the fact he is bi. My ex experimented with men which i was fine with, pleased even.
I guess its just a matter of taste, what sort of people you like, relationships..
Just make sure you dont throw something special away out of fear or ignorance. My bi guy is caring, conciderate, sexy and inteligent. Im glad im not missing out on that. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:01:29 AM | my bf is bi, as am i. I like the fact he is bi. My ex experimented with men which i was fine with, pleased even.
I guess its just a matter of taste, what sort of people you like, relationships..
Just make sure you dont throw something special away out of fear or ignorance. My bi guy is caring, conciderate, sexy and inteligent. Im glad im not missing out on that. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:07:20 PM | I am bi as well and I make sure to tell people up front. Some people don't mind at all or are even more interested because of it. A few have been scared off.
The stereotype of bisexual people wanting to be with both men and women at the same time is so frustrating. Being bi means being open to relationships with both men and women in the same way that a straight person might consider dating short people or tall people. It does NOT mean you want to date both at the same time. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:00:31 AM | | Thanks Rory, that actually cleared up some things for me. I'm as straight as they come; and I always thought of Bi as someone who "needed" to be with both sexes to be sexually satisfied; but your explanation put it into perspective. Just because I find another woman sexually attractive does not, in any way, mean I would be unfaithful to whomever I'm with. Very good analogy. Thanks. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 7/17/2008 4:29:38 AM | I think the problem the heterosexual partner deals with, even if it exists or not, is that they might not feel that bi-sexuality is gross, they might feel that they aren't enough. I mean if I wanted both men and women, would a boyfriend be able to satisfy that need?
Or would I need both a man and a woman? I think that's the mainissue- not feeling as you are enough for a bi-sexual person.
Then I would be seriously worried about STD:s as well. It might be stereotyping but who knows if I had a bi-bf that he had sex with a gay-man that had AIDS? I know I know.... It may be wrong to think like this, but I do and I have no plans on changing my opinion either. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:51:15 AM | I think we have to remember that no two people have the same definition of their own sexuality. Some men say they are straight but will allow their SO to penetrate them with a dildo. Some men say they are straight and would never ever allow anything near that area even a woman, Some men are sexually attracted to men but because the thought is too disgusting will not act on it.
That being said bisexual people are just that people. Some bisexual people will enter into a relationship full intending to be faithful, but over time their fantasies of the other sex turns a want into a need. If they are good people they will break off their relationship to fulfill this need, if they are selfish they will try to hold on to what they have and fulfill this need. And some will deny what has become an urgent need until they feel trapped and resentful. People will always be people, so in fearing that a bisexual person will cheat, the question is will this person cheat, regardless of sexuality.
And if the question is a moral one, stick to your guns. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:51:58 PM | I would be so pissed that a relationship went as far as yours did and then that bomb got dropped...
I would haul my fanny to the clinic... get a test
Wait 6 months get another test...
Pray for negative results
Positive results...
Take out a full page ad in USA Today sharing his STD status
include his full color picture
Name address employer phone etc
Rent a billboard in high traffic area near his home.... same message
Oh did I mention I'd be pissed
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/26/2008 4:58:36 PM | Ok, I am Bisexual too and really like being with men and women
and being steriotypical can be true sometimes...I love being with women and it turns me on alot but I wouldn't want a relationship with a woman, that's more of being gay...to me, just my opinion | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:51:59 PM |
The stereotype of bisexual people wanting to be with both men and women at the same time is so frustrating. Being bi means being open to relationships with both men and women in the same way that a straight person might consider dating short people or tall people. It does NOT mean you want to date both at the same time.
Thank you for posting that Rory... I was going to come in and post the same thing. Both my current and previous relationships have been with bi men. I was told upfront, even before the relationships had started that they were bi. I have no problem with it (obviously). I would, however, have a problem with it if I was put into a similar situation as the OP. That in itself is lying, and I can't stand being lied to. I'd be more upset about that then him being bi. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:07:16 PM | Let me first apologize for the disrespect you've incurred on my gender's behalf.
Second, let me apologize for seeing another person fall prey to rebellion. I now will say that there isn't that much choice in the world, to stray off to another man.
On your behalf, I'd like to tell him "Thanks for playing". This is one of those moments when I'd say that the discontent of mankind rares its ugly head yet again.
I don't see how anyone can justify this, or put something positive on this. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:40:36 PM |
I would, however, have a problem with it if I was put into a similar situation as the OP. That in itself is lying, and I can't stand being lied to. I'd be more upset about that then him being bi.
I disagree that keeping a secret is "lying"! Specifically, I think it's a matter of privacy, not honesty. For example, if you conceal a disability from your employer to avoid discrimination, that's not a lie -- and that's exactly analogous to the OP's situation. In retrospect, the OP's fiancee had good reason to keep his sexual orientation private, because "of course" she dumped him once he revealed it. And why? It's not about the honesty, because she dumped him when he came clean. That's an inappropriate reaction to a sensitive subject. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:29:30 PM | My ex did the same thing, came out to me after 4 yrs together. We had taken time apart when he told me.
We was together another 5 yrs. We went to gay bars together. I went and hung out with my friends while he went and Flamed!
Yes it took some getting use too. But, it was a part of him. If I would reject it about him, I would been rejecting a part of the person I did fall in love with. We did set rules and limits when it came to 'certain' activities.
He could keep off the "No Friends" Laws.. | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:29:38 AM | | I think I might be actually more intrigued by a bisexual man. I gotta admit, the selfish thought of a possible threesome with another guy of course pops into my mind (just like the typical fantasy a man would have when seeing a bisexual woman - the thought crosses his mind that maybe there's a chance of a threesome with another woman then). But only if that was something he was interested in. And what about checking out guys? Would we do that together and make comments about cute men in public like I would with a girl friend? That might be fun. Or would that still be disrespectful? And at least I would know that he isn't homophobic (discrimination is such a turn-off...major deal-breaker for me). | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/27/2008 3:16:27 AM | | You did the right thing.You werent comfortable with the whole situation so the relationship wouldnt have worked.I couldnt deal with it either.Its something he should have told you from the beginning,,,and given you the option to decide if you were Ok with it,,,,,,, | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/27/2008 4:48:59 AM | Wow...did I offend someone's poor sensibilities? My post was deleted.
I am allowed my own opinion, even if it clashes with yours. SO deal with it.
Your fiance announces he is bisexual? What would I do?
Not a damn thing. That is part of him and always was and it's part fo him that you fell in love with, even if you were unaware.
It doesn't make him promiscuious...NOR does it make him riddled with STD's.
Being bisexual merely means that one is ATTRACTED to both sexes. It does NOT mean they want to sleep with both at the same time. You can be Bi and be monogomous at the same time.
So really...it may be something to have though about...I would never consider it to be a deal breaker and to break up over, but hey....your loss right? | |
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| When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do?
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:51:21 AM | If your fiance announces he is bisexual, you need to have a talk about what this means for your relationship. If he intends to use his bisexuality as an excuse to cheat on you, then it's a cause for concern. But if he vows to be faithful to you, it shouldn't matter. You can still have a blissfully happy relationship with a bi guy if you have that firm commitment from him regarding his intention to remain monogamous.
Keep in mind that some bi guys simply want to be honest to their wives and girlfriends in terms of who they are. I think most women would be grateful for that honesty. But, as I said, it needs to be spelled out what it means to the relationship. | |
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