| Ex moving on...
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:08:26 PM | | Some people are just needy, they need to have that other person in their life, no matter the past. I knew a woman who's husband of 10 years suddenly dies, and the next month she was living with another man. But thats was how she always was, never liked to be alone no matter what. Dont worry about what she does, you all broke up for a reason. | |
|
| Ex moving on...and waking up with her new guy - &^%$
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:39:33 PM | ...still makes me angry that i still have such strong feelings for her when she is waking up with another dude and not thinking about me at all while i can't even sleep.
Ben,
Oh, man! I know that feeling - and I'm sure other guys have shared that feeling. For a while, I was even having dreams where my ex and her new boyfriend would show up all happy and perfect while I was falling apart.
And part of her real-life behavior gave me fits – When we got engaged, she insisted on a specific minimum size diamond for the ring. Since our divorce, my ex has worn that ring on her right hand - and I spent some angry sleepless nights unable to shake the thoughts of what that hand was doing with her new boyfriend. *&^%!!!!
Anyway, although I still don't like what she's done, It's not eating at my guts anymore, and is basically irrelevant to my life now.
I’ll bet you get through this and life will be good. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:44:50 PM | What does it matter, since you broke-up with her. You broke-up with her for a reason so why not be happy that she has moved on?
My last serious boyfriend found a girlfriend about a month after we broke-up. I am still looking and it has been almost over a year. I do not rush from relationship to relationship, but my ex needs to have a woman around for his ego.
I saw them at his son's graduation and he tried to put her in my face. All it told me was he still cared about me not that he has gotten over me. If he was over me, he would have wished me well and not acted so immaturely. My ex acted like a kid in grade school, which is not charming for a nearly 50 year old man. It actually reinforced all my reasons for ending the relationship. His own son told me all his father does is ask about me when he finds out I spent time with him. For me, I could care less. When I realized he could not give me what I needed, I moved on. It does not matter if I'm with someone or not.
So an ex being in a relationship or not being in a relationship, is no indication of how that person feels about you. Honestly, it really shouldn't matter to you either. | |
|
| Ex moving on...Getting &^%&% WORSE!
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:45:38 PM | Creative-Guy
Vow, mate requires super strength to overcome that and here I am thinking if my break up was a good thing and getting pinched at seeing with her someone else.
Hats off man | |
|
| Ex moving on...Getting &^%&% WORSE!
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:52:02 PM | I relax myself by being an astronaut 
What I mean is I close my eyes and just imagine that I am looking at the globe and realize that my problem is so little and not the only one around. This is one life, and someone out there is waiting for me.
It actually helps | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:54:21 PM | | I agree with all the wisdom given here. I have been in the situation of the new guy after break-ups before. I guess it's the way life is. It's strange but I have learned that generally they move on quickly bc it's easier to forget about your past with another person it fills the void inside your head. And if this new person is a great person then the void quickly vanishes. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:30:59 AM | Hiya ben
i too broke up with my husband 3mnths ago. i've come on here cos i am struglling to move on its hard as hell but i need to for my sanity. thouhgt it would be good to chat to different people but a lot of the guys want one thing.
we were together 7 1/2 years n he has moved on! I can't believe it. i'm walking round feeling depressed and he's going out and living it large.
My ex has been seeing someone and was towards the end of our relationship i don't seem to be able to handle the fact that he can be happy with someone else, and the thought of it makes me feel sick inside.
I think some people can put their feelings to one side and maybe they just bury them so they don't have to deal with them.
I find it hard having a profile so I can chat to someone when most people want to date.
You need to try and have fun and keep busy. I have found myself thinking just about the good times and have built up a picture that I had the perfect relationship instead of remembering the bad stuff cos at the end there was only bad.
I do know things will get better for you and for me you never know what is round the corner. sorry if i've not been helpful | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:48:45 AM | I am confused. If you still love her and think about her, why did you break up with her? IMO, what is going on here is you are having trouble with the fact that she has found someone else and you have not. Maybe this is just a rebound relationship for her and chances are it wont work. You broke up with her for a reason. An ex is an ex for a reason.
Hang in there. Go out and meet new people. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:01:19 AM |
You broke-up with her for a reason so why not be happy that she has moved on?
I am confused. If you still love her and think about her, why did you break up with her?
Just because you are the one to break up with someone else doesn't meant that it always hurts less. I had to do this once because there were problems in the relationship that were only getting worse and that could not be fixed. However, I was VERY deeply in love with her, and leaving her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I do still love her and miss her. But sometimes you have to think with your head instead of your heart. When that happens, sometimes you feel even worse than the other person, because you've got the responsibility (and guilt) of ending the relationship (and of possibly breaking someone else's heart) squarely on your own shoulders. Knowing that you caused someone else pain can be worse than being the one who is "dumped". | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:13:04 AM | | lucky you only a years worth of memories to forget, i had twenty and he moved right on , never looked back, i have to wonder did he care at all to be able to move on after twenty years ...lots of memories and lots of things i will never forget.. its very hard to do, but you answered your own question hun, how into you was she if after a month she could move on? you have to ask yourself, and why can't you move on as quickly? think about it ... she probably had him before the break up ... i know mine had someone else for about 9 months before i found out ... and the best thing for you too do is move along, a hard thing to do, but it will get better if you look at it that way... it wasn't you ... it was her who lost... good luck and don't stop looking !!! thats the worst thing for your ego ... to stop !!!living | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:20:57 PM | Just because you are the one to break up with someone else doesn't meant that it always hurts less. I had to do this once because there were problems in the relationship that were only getting worse and that could not be fixed. However, I was VERY deeply in love with her, and leaving her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I do still love her and miss her. But sometimes you have to think with your head instead of your heart. When that happens, sometimes you feel even worse than the other person, because you've got the responsibility (and guilt) of ending the relationship (and of possibly breaking someone else's heart) squarely on your own shoulders. Knowing that you caused someone else pain can be worse than being the one who is "dumped".
---------ditto--------
6 years and counting | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:45:37 PM | Hey... I can definitely relate to this... I understand exactly how u feel... I went thru this,, til this day it still bothers me that ma x moved on... nd its been 3yrs... da only reason is that ma x kept me holdin onn... kept sayin he loved me,, wanted me etc etc... did ur x keep u holdin on.?
Idk I've always felt that if I loved someone,, that I culdnt move on that fast... either she's tryin to mke u jealous,, or tryin to gett over u.? Or maybe she never really loved u... those r the questions u hve to deal with,, huh.?
With time all wounds will heal,, I cntpromise it'll all go away,, but it deff will gett easier...
Good lcuk.!
~marii~ | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:31:22 AM |
Basically I broke up with my ex about 3 months ago. I'm still trying in vain to get over her.
I guess the fact she has moved on hurts and is in part an ego thing
although i did invest a great deal of myself in her.
But its making it harder to get over her,
thinking that i meant so little I could be replaced just like that after the times we shared together.
Any thoughts or shared experiences would be greatly recieved...
ok have not read the responses of others... just your post ... I am just replying on the 1st post 
I am bit confused... didnt you break up with her.. it is not her fault if she moved on when you decided to end the relationship... | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:01:54 PM | Most of the time the person who did the dumping is able to move on faster because they were already emotionally detached from you before the actual break up (making it easier to move on). Unfortunately, the ones getting dumped have to deal with the shock and the crazy emotions. Its ok though because you will get through it no matter what.
I'm sorry about your situation, but I promise it does get better. You WILL find someone better. Promise.
There is a great book written by a dude named Greg Behrendt and his wife Amiira Ruotola called "Its Called a Break up Because Its Broken". I think you will benefit from it. You don't have to read the whole thing, just the last 6 pages of it. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:17:22 PM | Letting go is hard for all human beings, male or female. We deal with it differently because we are inherently different. Sometimes letting go can feel like dying and the reason we have to let go is to get rid of or kill/die that part of ourselves that contributed to the relationship not working. Whether you saw it or not it was there, and when you are ready to look inside you will see find that part of your ego that was so wrapped up in the relationship that you could possibly feel today like you are dying, and when you do you will be free because that part of your ego was holding you back from being the incredible person that God created you to be.
Jump out of an airplane at 13000 feet above the ground you have to let go of a whole lot of fear to get out the plane. You will get a new perspective on the world and on your journey through it. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:09:21 AM | Most of the time the person who did the dumping is able to move on faster because they were already emotionally detached from you before the actual break up (making it easier to move on). Unfortunately, the ones getting dumped have to deal with the shock and the crazy emotions. Its ok though because you will get through it no matter what.
----------
Not really, depends on the situation. Sometimes things are out of your control and break up is imminent ( many factors ), you do the right thing but the memories remain and mind takes time to catch up with the heart | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:24:15 PM | UMMMMMMM....
You broke up with HER! and now you're BUTT HURT she found someone else before you did.... ROTFLMAO!  | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:23:54 PM | Hello j-lo1972uk, how are you!
I have been reading your profile and have come to my conclusion that you are a very nice decent lady!
I am writing to let you know that you desrve a special 'hug'...not a telling off.
Your comment is representation of how much you had and the time invested only to be cheapened and destroyed by your ex's desire to have a mother-like alternative.
I think I am the one that needs telling off, hehe. I know how you feel my sweet....I too have gone through that. I guess I am still scarred by that experience.
You are so generous regarding the fact that you still respect your ex...your heart must be so so special. I love that so much. I would so much love to meet you (not allowed to give out contact details here though) as you would be the one I could talk with till the sun comes up! I have no picture in my profile as I am new to computers so I do apologise for my incompetence.....don't like to ask friends to add my picture as I get embarassed. My name on here is laceylou.123 Good Luck my sweet. Phil x | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:27:32 PM | Hello j-lo1972uk, how are you!
I have been reading your profile and have come to my conclusion that you are a very nice decent lady!
I am writing to let you know that you desrve a special 'hug'...not a telling off.
Your comment is representation of how much you had and the time invested only to be cheapened and destroyed by your ex's desire to have a mother-like alternative.
I think I am the one that needs telling off, hehe. I know how you feel my sweet....I too have gone through that. I guess I am still scarred by that experience.
You are so generous regarding the fact that you still respect your ex...your heart must be so so special. I love that so much. I would so much love to meet you (not allowed to give out contact details here though) as you would be the one I could talk with till the sun comes up! I have no picture in my profile as I am new to computers so I do apologise for my incompetence.....don't like to ask friends to add my picture as I get embarassed. My name on here is laceylou.123 Good Luck my sweet. Phil x | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:51:03 PM | | It's not nice to see your ex move on and when they do it quickly it hurts like hell... Mine did it to me three possibly four times... We split up and his record was two days before jumping into bed with another woman and apparently it was all my fault because we weren't together.. Took me a long time to recognise that his "breaking up" was just a way to justify sleeping around without the guilt (not that he is capable of felling guilt) and that i was allowing him to do it... I use to think the best way to move on was to find someone else but in all honesty couldn't do it... I needed time to heal... still do... and i would never use someone like he used other women just so i could feel better in myself. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:09:12 PM | I know this is like 20 days too late, but the people on the third page need to read the first page.
He didn't break up with her; the wording just looks like that. She broke up with him, then a month later found another guy in a rather dubious fashion! | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:31:51 PM | hey there! I was in the same situation and mine was probably worse.
Trust me .......whatever you are going through is nothing compared to what i have been through. I don't understand though, from the way it sounds. you seem to be so caring. I was the same but as of now, all i want is some peace of mind. I have my moments where I think how can a person be so cruel and cold hearted. It does feel like the relationship meant nothing after all those years.
hang in there and have faith in yourself, you just have to be strong and know that it wasn't you, as the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Don't get me wrong because i don't wish that on my ex. If anything you have to find it in your heart to forgive. It's hard but it can be done.
Stay true to yourself and one day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not always dark. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:45:53 PM | | my ex broke up with me a month ago, and tonight sends me a text saying, he has moved on and I need to do the same...OUCH! Basically, the way I look at it, is if he can be with someone else a month after we split, then he really did not love me, and who wants that? I know it is hard, trust me I am crushed inside, but I know i will get through this just like any other heartbreak I have had. I can't even think of being with anyone else right now because i LOVE him....there can be a difference and like someone else said, people can move at different paces, but as hard as it is, and as many tears that I cry, I know I am better off and can make it alone. Take it day by day, thats all I can do, and maybe in time, Ill be back on my feet again and so will you! | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:08:17 PM | when my EX decided to end our marriage, he sent me pics of him and another woman then moved to canada. I had the e-mail . knew how to push the buttons. knew he was cheating. and got him to send the pictures.
so i was in the same boat as you. really really hurt. and very very alone. broken hearted. because no matter whatever the problems are you don't want that person to leave, you want to work together and stick together. BUT that is not the case.
sooooooooo, it sounds to me like you are doing what is the smartest thing to do.
NOT DATING. taking time to yourself. take your own inventory or everything.
get yourself together.
sooooooooooo.......when you get in a relationship it isn't a "rebound". You HAVE worked out your issues about your ex. you may be hurt. but you are healthy and ready to love!!!!!
you right now are taking time to build a foundation of stone.
taking time helps you build a healthy foundation which will be carried over to your next relationship versus your ex that is a bouncing ball and not taking retrospect or assessing herself. she is building sandcastles. | |
|
| Ex moving on...
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:59:57 AM | You are very young and these emotions seem tough to handle; but you will; your goal is to move on and get a new life of your own; I was with someone 6 years and a week after we broke up she started dating someone and it hurt bad. but you realize you are glad they are not around anymore because it meant more to me than it did her. Also I'm sure she was at least hanging around this guy before you broke up. She went with someone she thought was better and thats very immature and shallow.
Closure is just that. cry it out and move on. Dont' be her friend or hang around her or communicate with her. Don't have any contact. Out of sight, out of mind.
Again, start spending time with new people. You will be fine. You deserve better and in time you will forget about her for the most part. If it was so magical she would still be here. She moved on, now you need to as well. good luck. | |
|
Home
login 
