| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:08:04 PM | I'm so pleased it wasn't just me that was absolutely astounded by this man falsely stating himself as being a widower. It's been bad enough to lose a sister, and so young too, but I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a husband/wife.
I wish all the best to those of you who have written on this forum who have lost someone they love so much. It can't be easy to get back out there and especially within what can be such a shallow and cruel environment as this. It just goes to show that it can be just a year ago, or like Boots 37 years ago, but that we must all show compassion and never judge a person until we have walked in their shoes.
I did politely give this man a piece of my mind, and he has now changed his profile as he just didn't 'think' about his actions. Some however, I believe ,do things like this as a deliberate ploy to lure others,showing a total lack of respect for those of you who are trying to get on living your lives under what can be a cloud of loss.
Watching someone you love very much take their last breath and their lips turn blue as their life slips away can haunt you for years.....so let's show some respect. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:10:03 PM | elecbabe, i am so sorry about your sister. what a painful experience to lose a loving sister, and to leave behind her husband and children. life is too precious to put up with the nonsense of moronic people such as the one who pretended he was a widower. i just thought about something. i was at a POF party on friday, and a fella there told me he was a widower, and i said, oh, gosh, i am so sorry for your loss. he burst out laughing and was slapping his knee as i stared at him. and he says, "man, i love using that line. women feel so sorry for me when i use that line." i found nothing funny about it, and completely ignored the fool. i saw him ten minutes later telling it to someone else. apparently, some people find death humerous??  | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:14:01 PM | I do get fed up with dating sites with married/attached people.
Its these liars who are getting the dates while the rest us dont get many !
Perhaps its time for dating sites to ask for proof of status.
Like divorce papers and proof of being a widower/widow ? | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:41:40 PM | ive found it tends to be americans who just seem to be ignorant anyway!
wizenjewels - The OP and the man in question are English. How does this translate to Americans being ignorant? The only one ignorant, besides the man OP writes about, is you, for your sweeping generalization. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:08:38 PM |
Some men and woman will do anything to gain attention of others, I would guess a man like that is far and few,, but like anything people lie, there are those who pretended to be in the service,, or impersonate a police officer,, con artists lurk in the shadows,, as they always will....it's up to us,,to figure it all out,, make good choices,,
I am a widow. My late husband was KIA in Vietnam. I have run into more than one person who claimed to have lost someone in the war. They give me the name and date of death...and it's all false. They should know that I would know how to look it up...duh! Is there supposed to be some kind of glory in going through this? I really wish I hadn't.
I belong to a group (Friends of the Forgotten), who try to raise awareness about our POW/MIA that are still unaccounted for. We had a member who claimed to be a former POW and was just 'outed' as a scammer and may be facing charges. What is with people these days, anyway?
OP, that guy was a nut case...drama seeker....be glad you found out when you did.
~DC~ | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:16:45 PM | Its still lying to gian sympathy or pity. Lying is lying.... And its not right. I also dispise those who lie about their status and turn out to be married or have kids without telling me. oh you got knocked up? Oh look its Ehon from ghostbusters Harold Ramis! ( Runs away....) | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:46:15 PM | That was a quite despicable line to employ. Have been widowed for 19 months now and it is still lonesome sometimes. Now the kicker is men will email or want to IM then get into how long ya been alone, have you slept with anyone? Ah excuse me when I shake out my sheets what is there is my knowledge. Asked one guy you think widows are so grateful or wetting their pants for attention rethink that one bucko. You are one reason why we are glad to be by ourselves after the door closes.
Others are very thoughtful and very good in conversation, all again depends on the person. For me it is not an attention or sympathy ploy just a plain fact. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:00:17 PM | Being a widow or widower seems to be recently fashionable. There are those who have never been widowed, and there are those who state widow/widower but then I find out they've been married and divorced, sometimes several times, since they were widowed.
I guess it's not an out and out lie, but certainly I am suspicious about the prevarication of the situation. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:11:49 PM | Dceeeee, Im so sorry about your husband, as well as for all those widows and widowers on here that lost your spouses.....my heart goes out to all of you....
I have such a special place in my heart for all vets esp KIA, MIA...my friend just lost her son who was a green beret...I admire them so much...them and their families....what incredible sacrifices they make.........
I would love to know how to look up men pretending to be in the service? Would you please show me? You can send me a personal email if you prefer...
CeeCee Kitty, what you wrote about the boxing glove had me rolling!!!
Its a great idea for this site...
or what about something like the trunk monkey for liars???
or something that comes out of the monitor and just slaps them sillly!!!  | |
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richt2
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Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:43:06 PM | | i really dont know how anybody could sink so low. i lost my beloved wife 18 months ago and i am still hurting as much as if it were yesterday.for someone to claim to be widowed is a sign of the sick times we live in and eventually he will get his comupance.i only came on this site for someone to talk to and perhaps if there are people like this on here it was not such a good idea. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:21:21 PM | I cannot imagine anyone so crass as to pretend to be a widow/ widower. I lost my husband of 27 years to cancer in 1998 and it was devastating !
Death is no laughing matter | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:42:24 PM | when i was in my thirties, i was at a professional conference and met a man who told me he was widowed. we spent that conference together for the major portion and agreed to continue seeing each other "long distance". by some stroke of luck, given i was well known in my field, i was talking to someone from his state on the phone and mentioned him and his widowhood. you can imagine my chagrin when i found out he was far from widowed.
would you believe, his next line was that he didn't know how to tell me she was mentally ill. so, i called my colleague who knew a friend of this man's wife and i suggested she be warned, as i was assured she was not mentally ill. my stipulation was that i wanted no more part of the deal. i did not want to know more or hear anymore. this was not a drama that i was trying out for in real life!
so yes, people will say anything. i have also dated two young widowers in my 40's--one of whom went wild for a few years, i guess as part of his grief. he had small children and went from wanting a mother for them to looking for one partner after another. i met another man who also involved me with his three small children, who really expected me to take care of them immediately--while i was running a full time consulting practice. i was very careful in that short lived relationship, but also felt i did some good. i taught the little boy to go out at night and wave to a star where i told him his mother's soul was residing. it was a good thing for him. one night he went out and starting screaming and laughing at the star, saying: look mommy, i farted! all his siblings came out also and laughed. so i guess there was a higher purpose, but clearly the dad was not into me. he was looking for a free baby sitter for his kids. he eventually moved in with his sister.
so, i am sure widowers later on in life w/o children are not quite the same, but my experiences were pretty heavy duty. i suppose not much different with a single parent with small "abandoned" children. the liar, however, i am sure got his due punishment. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:03:12 AM | i am a widow, with a death certificate and an urn to prove it.
how sick,,,,,,,,the pain of losing a romantic partner to death is so heart wrenching it is sick 2 make a mockery of it. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:52:06 PM | I've got to agree with post 2:
I dunno any mature people who run around claiming to have a dead spouse.
If the guy's making up bullshit stories, in an attempt to get attention on dating sites: he's immature.
He believes he's mature for his age? Is he 9? | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:44:09 AM | | I've listed myself as a widow before. Then when someone asked about it I told them I consume my vic.. er.. partners after copulation. I guess I'm guilty of said offense, but I don't do it to induce a pity party. I guess it's just another way to interact with someone and fool around. Yeah yeah, death isn't funny, etc.. But everyone has a different sense of humor. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:30:21 PM | | Well enragedhamster, you did put yourself down as a "part time nerd" in your profile, so I rest my case! | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:00:27 PM | What does being a nerd have to do with your case?
And calling someone something they admit to being is not an insult.
Sometimes I look at this site and feel so sad that some of you people are allowed to breath. Grow a sense of humour and stop being so sensitive. No wonder nobody wants you. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:14:01 PM | | You have to weed out dishonesty. You can get upset about it, but you can't honestly think that everyone will tell the truth. On line dating is tricky and you have to know what the leading questions are and go from there. And Mr. Bunny ears is right, humor has all forms and don't get pissed off. Just move on. Life is WAY too short. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:37:39 PM | | NotIntoSpam - oh good grief, and that's exactly what I was doing....using my sense of humour. I wouldn't wish to insult the young lady. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:34:47 PM |
I've listed myself as a widow before. So, it's quite likely that anything currently on your profile could be an outright lie?
I guess it's just another way to interact with someone and fool around. Some people come to sites like these with with very sincere intentions, and strong hopes of meeting a suitable partner.
For others to get a laugh out of "fooling around" with them, may be kinda childish, and dis-respectful. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:04:32 PM | the widow status button is one i wish i never had 2 click.
when i filled out my profle, a tear welled up when i got 2 marital status and checked widowed.'
Please dont make a mockery out of real widows, kthx
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:26:49 PM | I relate to that one big time..........it will be two years in a couple weeks, and it still hurts to push that button. I think about dating sometimes and then back off........mostly here for forums now.............. I am not sure I even ever want to be really involved again. I AM PROUD to be his wife, and i carry that name with pride. To pretend to be where we have been is too terrible for words,,and to prey on widows or widowers that are still vulnerable and struggling to re-enter a dating world is cruel and heartless. I have such a guard up now..........not intentionally but when so many of the men I have met or talked to seem to be looking for a roll in the hay ( because I must be hard up) WRONG........just very particular. I am very tenderhearted, but not apush-over. The men I have met want to tell me how to "get over it".....yeah right smart----.
Go where I been, come back and tell me how brave and smart you are now!!!!!!!!!!
Losing the love of your life sends you into a tailspin for a long time. | |
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