| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:07:06 PM | Ichi bon,
I'm so sorry for your loss....I can't speak about what I don't know...only wanted to tell you that you are loved and supported, even if it isnt visible or obvious...
I hope one day you will be ready to open your heart again to be loved...
you are still very young and deserve to love deeply again...
Congratulations on raising what seem to be 3 very beautiful and happy daughters!!!
Hugs, 
SurfDancer | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/9/2008 1:09:28 PM | This is just reprehensible. I was a caregiver to my husband for 20 months while he battled and eventually succumbed to cancer 8 yrs ago. Watching him go into a coma and take his last breaths on life support will haunt me for the rest of my life. We were both 36 at the time with a 5 yr old daughter. We were married for 12 years, together for 14.
The creep who contacted you is one sick, f***ed up individual. I wouldn't wish losing a spouse on my worst enemy. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/9/2008 1:51:08 PM |
I wouldn't wish losing a spouse on my worst enemy. absofreakinlutely!! Not even on "stellarbystarlight" who is many times very smart and humorous...but this isn't one of those times.
Cindy O | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:02:29 PM | | I'm speechless. I was my husbands caregiver for 12 yrs. I watched him die little bit by little bit for that 12yrs. He died at home in our bed, I am proud to be his Widow, and can't believe there are people who would use this title as a con. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:36:45 AM | Thank You SurfDancer,
I appreciate that very much. It is still very hard, but I have slowly began to learn to be very discerning about anyone I even allow contact with. There are some really decent men that are fine with taking it very slow..............and then the jerks that don't have a clue. I am in no hurry, but I try to only look back at my life with my husband.not stare.
Thanks again for your comments.... they mean alot
Ichi-bon | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:57:39 AM | The guy is a pig but what did he expect to gain? Is society somewhat to blame here? People assume that when someone's spouse dies, they are somehow better people, less defective as partners than those that are single because of a failed relationship.
We imagine that the marriage was June and Ward Cleaver when that is not necessarily the case and the person left behind is not necessarily a great spouse because the wedding vows were kept; maybe the other person hung on through a nightmarish relationship.
With the exception of establishing availability, maybe knowing someone's "status" is not all it's cracked up to be. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:01:10 AM | Hi Ichi-bon,
Time will help...I didn't know what to enter for marital status and decided single...
I lost my husband almost 15 years ago now (married for 13). He was 35, I was 30 and our precious children were 11, 8 and 7...
My heart goes out to you and yours...breathe...he is always just a breath away...
The goof who stated he was a widower needs to get a grip...anyone that thinks that we are just being overly "sensitive" to his deceit also needs to give their heads a shake.
WE are the ones that haven't lost...because we had a true love that many of these sad people will never have the privledge to know...
LLL
Sky | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:33:28 PM | So true, I have been in no hurry.because I know that if I never do find that kind of love again,............. I will have always had a love so few have ever known.
I had several women tell me that they had been married either multiple times, or for several years to the same man, and they had yet to have a man look at them the way he did me. You can't fake that !!
That is something that can't be taken or dismissed. Thank you for your comments
Ichi-bon | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:15:48 PM | I was absolutely horrified to hear someone would put this on their profile to attract attention and for a line. I identified my partner's body after a bike crash. Loss of any kind of someone you loved with all your heart is so difficult to get over, and someone who fakes it, is one f**ked up individual.
Hopefully, he'll reap what he sows.... | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/25/2008 2:44:48 PM | | I met a man on another dating site once who claimed he was a widow. He had been a widow once...he had remarried and divorced since that spouse's death...technically he really should not be calling himself a widow. I think he does it b/c he hopes to find sympathetic women wishing to console him. I am a widow and really just saw this as a sign of dishonesty and moved on. If someone has lied to you about anything...move on. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:39:34 PM | That is pretty low, actually I don't know if it gets much lower than that. Absolutely insulting to widows and widowers anywhere and everywhere.
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:36:17 PM | I think it is very stuipid, and counter productive for anyone to say they are a widower. My personal experiance shows me that women treat you like the plaugue.
90 percent of the time women want to know if I did it.
99 percent of the time, I have yet to find the 1 percent but am sure it is out there someplace, women are cruel and because it doesnt have to do with them they dont care. And it is a taboo to speak of it.
As far as WOMEN showing sempaty, that is a joke. I have yet to find a woman that can look beyond herself when it comes to this. I have had by far more sympathy for men then by women. Why is that, are not woment suppost to be the the symathatic ones?
Yes I am a widower of going on 7 years.
The message I am trying to put across is that anyone that is not a widower, and claims that they are, is a fool.
Some other notes I wish to add. Losing a parent is nothing like losing a spouce. If you really wish to know what it is like here is a like compairason. Imagine you are a long disatance runner, You live every day just to run. Then one day you wake up and someone has cut both your legs off at the hips, and your arms at the shoulders. That is somewhat on what it is like.
It is by far better to be a widow then it is a widower. Men are a lot more sympathic to a woman that lost someone they love then women are to men. Not that I am saying a widow has it easy. It is still very hard. I would rather be neither. After all our sociaty views that if you could not make something work, divorced, is far better then someone that knew how to make it work, widowed.
So anyone that wants to pretend they belong to our group: Go ahead you are only cutting your own throat. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 8/25/2008 6:51:46 PM | I can not comment on the pretenders but I did date a widower for over 11 yrs. He did not want to give up that "badge". He treated it like a purple heart.
Sad and he was a nice guy. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:09:03 PM | aS i DO NOT GET A CHANCE TO VISIT THIS SITE VERY OFTEN i REALLY DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THE fORUMS. THIS SUBJECT, HOWEVER, IS DIFFERENT.
Apart from the fact i typed that first part in capitals i do concider myself both normal and kind and also of average intelligence (typing aside). This kind of idiotic pretence does give men a bad name, so where most are looking for companionship and solace of some kind there are those that just need attention by pretending to be one thing or another............. Please please POF root these idiots out so the genuine people on here can use this site for its original intention, a cool place to find that somebody special without the commercial pressures of sites that charge you for needing someone.
Feel better for that minor rant now. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 10/6/2008 4:07:19 PM | Being widowed is nothing to joke about i went thru hell watching my husband waste away over a 2 week period when he went into diabetic ketoacidosis and his kidneys failed. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:00:20 PM | | A lot of Nigerian internet scammers say they are widowed, many say that their wife died giving birth. It's horrible. Being widowed is the worst, and to use that for any sort of gain is despicable. | |
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:09:24 PM | OP: Yupper, happens! I experienced this with someone, but it was very evident he was full of sh*t! So I called him on it and poof he was gone!
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| Pretending to be a widow/widower
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:51:09 AM | I'm a widower,,I think it's disgusting what this man did..
I was contacted by a woman a few months back from POF, her profile stated she was "separated", I told her I wasn't interested, and thanked her for her interest, again she contacted me last mo.. and I didn't respond.. I'm on another dating site, my profile is visible,, but I'm no longer a member,, this same woman contacted me just yesterday,, only this time,, her profile states she has been a widower for 5 yrs, I went back to her profile on POF and it states she is separated,,
There are some people who misrepresent them selves because they might happen to believe who they are and do not feel like they are be deceitful, You would think you would know if your separated or windowed,, that is just so wrong,, | |
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