| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:41:00 AM | I feel it's on an individual basis. A lot of guys on these sites are just looking for a quickie. That does not bode good for us honest guys that are really interested in a LTR. Char | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:10:46 AM | Happiness doesn’t come prepackaged in a box you can buy at the local convenience store. You are not going to find satisfaction from a man or woman anywhere but in your own heart! Bryan Adams said it best, “Search your heart. Search your soul. And when you find me there you’ll search no more.” Satisfaction can not be found in others; you have to be satisfied in your own heart…then seek someone with whom you would like to share that happiness.
I think the OP is a bit misunderstood about men seeking foreign brides. Look at the demographics of where many of these brides are coming from (Russia and the Orient). Women from these regions are typically oppressed, poor, or have very limited rights. They tend to be more “obedient” in their culture and “eager to please” men more frequently. At least that is what I’ve deciphered from the literature put forth by the media…I may be mistaken. Moreover, they WANT to come to America at whatever the cost. American women tend to be more independent and aggressive than women from other cultures. On the other side of the coin, men from nearly every country could care-a-less where they live as long as they can provide for their loved ones. So…why don’t women seek men from other countries? Because they don’t want to leave America and I can’t say I blame them. It is far more satisfying to be free and single than to be happily married in a society of limited rights and oppression.
Just my thoughts… | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:40:47 AM | How do you know for "sure"?
I know "for sure" based on my own personal observations and experiences. There are countless women either in or from the US who are already married to men from other countries, and in some cases they are also married to a man from a different culture.
People often seek a partner from their immediate neighbourhood in the real world, and many only resort to looking for a partner from further away when they cannot find the type they really want to meet. Yet, a long distance relationship is or can be frustrating , even between two people living in the same country. And an international relationship is likely to be even more frustrating than the typical long distance type. Therefore, although I do accept that a normal person is not likely to aspire to have an international relationship with another, the fact is that many people do have or have already had such relationships.
In that respect there are women in the US who are just like women in other parts of the world; some will have international relationships while others will not. It is their own life in every case and they are free to do exactly as they please with their own lives.
Finally, I agree with you that this is a moot topic, but a great one as well. In fact, every topic is moot because there are only a small number of issues that are truly relevant on a dating site. Thanks for posing the question. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:42:32 AM | ]quote] I think the OP is a bit misunderstood about men seeking foreign brides. Look at the demographics of where many of these brides are coming from (Russia and the Orient). Women from these regions are typically oppressed, poor, or have very limited rights. They tend to be more “obedient” in their culture and “eager to please” men more frequently.
Do you mean that what I say is being misunderstood, or that I misunderstand the reasons whey men seek foreign brides? I agree with the statement that you make above.
However, I am not so ignorant as to believe that ALL men marry women abroad for those same reasons. Sometimes, a man (or woman) falls for someone in another country.
Again, however, that is not what I was/am curious about.
Sigh. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:47:45 AM |
I know "for sure" based on my own personal observations and experiences.
No offense intended, but this is a logical fallacy. If a student of mine were to write a paper based on his/her personal observations and experiences, I would insist that it be backed up with stats from demographic experts.
Finally, I agree with you that this is a moot topic, but a great one as well. In fact, every topic is moot because there are only a small number of issues that are truly relevant on a dating site.
Ultimately, all topics are moot! This is POF, in 100 years, who will care?
(Gwen fast forwards to the future where POF is the standard for dating everywhere. Markus has been elevated to the status of a demi-god, "Dateas Maximus.") | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:50:04 AM |
It is far more satisfying to be free and single than to be happily married in a society of limited rights and oppression.
I agree with this, I was chatting with a man from Egypt. He was very respectful and pretty well everything i found attractive in a man, Until he told me that in his culture a man could have up to four wives, if he could afford them. I asked him if i were to move there, if i could have four husbands if i could afford them. His answer was, why would you want four husbands? How can you argue with that. Being a part of someones harem just wasnt for me. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:59:07 AM | No offense intended, but this is a logical fallacy. If a student of mine were to write a paper based on his/her personal observations and experiences, I would insist that it be backed up with stats from demographic experts.
gwendolyn2008. No offense taken. But the fact that an expert says or reports something does NOT necessarily make it TRUE. Anyway, this is a collateral issue and I will not discuss it anymore. Have a great day. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:14:15 AM |
They tend to be more “obedient” in their culture and “eager to please” men more frequently. At least that is what I’ve deciphered from the literature put forth by the media…I may be mistaken.
I've seen this stated by women SO OFTEN as "fact" or "THE reason" when they are guessing why men would seek to meet women who are from a different country. I think it's just more deflection by women looking outside of themselves as to why some guy won't date her.
It could be something such as men hoping to find a partner who doesn't constantly tell him she's independent, strong and doesn't need him for anything. He may be looking for someone who will treat him as an equal.
Just a thought.
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:19:26 AM | Just Russians?
POF needs to look a little closer
There are more green card seekers on here than a little bit (yes i have reported a few)
There are actually men on this site seeking a wife to care for their kids ( wow can you imagine!)
There are people on this site that want to run around on their GF's and their wives ! (wow who would have thought)
Satisfied with American men? ... I'm in America ... when I'm on vacation that's another story | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:32:41 AM | | capitano blaugh; You nailed it! Nothing else to say because you said the truth but you know their will be some ridiculuos reason that you are sooooo wrong. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:36:56 AM | It is hard to give an objective opinion. There is a website called Visa Journey. I don't really know much about it, but a female friend of mine who was interested in a foreign man as a husband went on there. Some American women do prefer to date foreign men. There will be some like that. Are American men superior to men from other countries? It depends on the individual man, but according to a friend from New Zealand she thinks an American man is more likely culturally to be faithful to her than a man from her country, and, where I live, in Korea, an American male would be more likely to be faithful to the woman than the local men. If you are a woman from Russia, there is more of a chance that the American man you will be dealing with has a job and doesn't drink so much hard liquor which is a serious problem in some parts of Russia, but hopefully less so, and that's a bit exaggerated, but there may be something to it. American women are used to American men.
That's what they are going to find. Do I think American women appreciate American men enough? Maybe, maybe not, but some foreign women definitely appreciate
their men and American men more sometimes. That's the perception of many males.
I have had better experiences with non-American women than with American women.
However, I can't compare myself to other American men, because I am of Mediterranean background and used to women of a certain temperament, so
I will be biased and want women who are extremely feminine and don't mind exuding that a lot, who like to spoil their men and pay attention to the guy. I make no judgement whether good or bad. It is all relative to what you are used to and what you want. I am not so sure American women go well with a man with a Mediterranean temperament, because many American women focus so much on proving they are independent and can be very defensive, because they've been fed a diet about how bad men are and all that stuff.... It's unfortunate. Yes, men have done bad stuff, but there are great things about being men and women respectively. Many men actually do like to be spoiled. That's why many turn to these other nationalities. In my book, an American woman who makes you special, is very attentive, somewhat old-fashioned, but also takes care of herself is more than just fine. You don't need to look abroad for that. I must confess, though, I do like how some countries encourage the women
to be proud of their femininity, and I mean no disrespect, the men are not better in North America, and this is all relative. I can't say I know anything. I would be more than happy to settle down with a great American or Canadian girl who would suit me, and I would prefer it. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:37:09 AM | ^^^I agree.
It could be something such as men hoping to find a partner who doesn't constantly tell him she's independent, strong and doesn't need him for anything. He may be looking for someone who will treat him as an equal.
I do believe that a woman who IS independent and takes care of herself and has her own life IS equal...and therefore what he'd be seeking.
But I believe however that a woman who browbeats a guy about it constantly when he's not asking is annoying. I'd avoid anyone who threw constant unsolicited information at me.
I do know tho that there are women out there who don't act like this, I can't be the only one, so maybe it's not hopeless. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:37:58 AM |
I've seen this stated by women SO OFTEN as "fact" or "THE reason" when they are guessing why men would seek to meet women who are from a different country. I think it's just more deflection by women looking outside of themselves as to why some guy won't date her.
I have said that, Blaugh, and believe it or not, I don't have a problem finding men to date--or them finding me.
I have also heard men say the same thing--yeah, no kidding! They say they want a wife who will not argue with them and who has supper on the table when they get home. They want a wife who will "defer" to their decisions and not question their authority.
Perhaps these men are more vocal and in the minority, who knows? As I stated, I can't draw a definitive conclusion based on my personal experience. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:44:27 AM |
capitano blaugh; You nailed it! Nothing else to say because you said the truth but you know their will be some ridiculuos reason that you are sooooo wrong.
Of course, but I really don't care if the harpies decent on me. Wouldn't be the first OR the last time.
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:48:28 AM | WeAre!,
Your condesending tone and accusations of hypocracy are less than attractive and unappreciated.
I made much the same statement in the other thread, albeit different words.
I have read all this thread and have learned nothing in it or the other thread. I have merely had my suspicions confirmed.
Sorry if my view point offended you, it wasn't my intent.
There is nothing more for me to gain or offer here.
Have a nice day. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:07:24 AM | | I have read many of the forums on this subject. And I don't think it is a question of " Are women satisfied with American men ". But are women afraid to embark upon a venture . Loving , Caring, or wanting to Marry someone should not be based on what culture or country they come from. This should come from deep within one's self. And until you love yourself one is not able to truly give love. And we as women then to make moral judgements as our way of not dealing with things. (Food for thought) Men are what we make them or allow them to be. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:36:57 AM | Do you mean that what I say is being misunderstood, or that I misunderstand the reasons whey men seek foreign brides?
I mean the latter; the reasons why men seek foreign brides. Now I never meant to generalize that those are the only reasons men seek foreign brides but I did and I stand corrected. My point is that the reasons some men seek foreign women is not the same reason as women might want to seek foreign men. I believe there are many women who desire foreign men for a myriad of reasons from their complection and looks to their accents. However, men from foreign countries are not much different from men in America when it comes to basic values and cultural norms as opposed to women from countries where independence is oppressed or shunned altogether.
So...to address your question more specifically, if women are not satisfied with American men they will probably not be very satisfied with foreign men either. But again...satisfaction comes from within. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:44:37 AM | I have read all this thread and have learned nothing in it or the other thread. I have merely had my suspicions confirmed.
Agree with you here Levi. I realize these types of threads are kind of like asking people "what is the best colour"? Most likely no real definitive answer as there seem to be many varying opinions. Most of which have been heard before anyways. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:52:46 AM |
I have read many of the forums on this subject. And I don't think it is a question of " Are women satisfied with American men ". But are women afraid to embark upon a venture . Loving , Caring, or wanting to Marry someone should not be based on what culture or country they come from. This should come from deep within one's self. And until you love yourself one is not able to truly give love. And we as women then to make moral judgements as our way of not dealing with things. (Food for thought) Men are what we make them or allow them to be.
This is why I read the forums. Every once in a while I see things like this that just blow everyone else out of the water.
Specail one......you are indeed special. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:57:07 AM | Once upon a time, I had the privilege of befriending some Arabic women. Naturally, we discussed the differences in culture and the status of women. Many of the stereotypes I held were shattered in these conversations.
A few of these women wore burkas, they felt they gave them tremendous freedom... they had control of who could see them, they were not going to be turned into sex objects by random strangers on the street. They chose to be more traditional, in these cases, it wasn't imposed by their husbands.
All of these women thought NA women were nuts, that in the name of equality NA women had given up positions of privilege and power within the family and with their husbands. These women worked, their husbands shared household chores. They looked around the city and said, I don't see that people particularly have much joy or satisfaction in their lives, so, tell me again how this NA system is superior?
It made me think. Also made me re-evaluate and question where we are going. No conclusions yet, but as far as I'm concerned it's all up for grabs. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:52:26 PM | | Margo, there are a lot of things that we can learn from other cultures. If most Arabic women had the freedom to choose, I would be happy for them. I talked to a Muslim man I worked with regarding arranged marraiges and learned that we could learn a lot from them. In those cases, there were contracts negotiated ahead of time in case it didn't work out. The families negotiated them to make sure that everyone was treated fairly and that nobody ended up on the street penniless. So, there are things we can learn. Again, I think it begins and ends with having the freedom to choose for ourselves. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:58:31 PM | | I have read many of the forums on this subject. And I don't think it is a question of " Are women satisfied with American men ". But are women afraid to embark upon a venture . Loving , Caring, or wanting to Marry someone should not be based on what culture or country they come from. This should come from deep within one's self. And until you love yourself one is not really able to truly give love. Or is it that we as women tend to make moral judgements to justify our way of not dealing with things. (Food for thought) Men are what we make them or allow them to be. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:10:54 PM |
(Food for thought) Men are what we make them or allow them to be.
To an extent, yes, but you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:22:20 PM | There are countless women either in or from the US who are already married to men from other countries, and in some cases they are also married to a man from a different culture.
Just a comment to this ^^^^
...for the life of me...I cant think of ONE case (not saying there isnt though)...but I cant think of ONE or have EVER heard of one case (even in the media) where a woman has gone deliberately shopping for an overseas husband in the specific hope that he is a "certain way" to fulfill her "idea" of the perfect (subservient?) husband.
Yes I know there's a few sites that exist promoting this kinda thing...but I just dont know anyone stupid enough to argue for it and deceive themselves into doing it.
And I also used the word subservient because thats relevent to the Mail Order Bride system...men are not choosing these brides for themselves to be "dominated" and finacially taken care of.
Infact some US men will often argue that american women are gold diggers and thats why they do it...well how stupid's that?.... considering you're entering into a financial contract with someone who's upfront motivated by it in the first place. Guaranteed gold digger *lol* Definition of irony right there.
If we consider that apparently the whole reason US men are looking for foreign brides is the fact that american women are sooooo *insert whatever reason that assumes american males are lacking something* and do not want an equal partnership from their mate....then by all accounts foreign husbands from cultures less than comparative to america (eg. asia & russia)...would be all over the place and they are not.
Now I HAVE seen marriages where a woman has married a man from another culture & country (thats obvious). But their meeting was never "arranged" as a purchase order for a specific type of human being with subservient qualities (or label it stereotypical if someone chooses to so that they feel better about it).
In other words...they married for Love because they wanted to be together, which has absolutely nothing to do with mail order brides.
There's tens of thousands of people on this site...so surely you would think...outta all the people who participate in these forums...there must be ONE woman who's chosen the mail order husband path and offer how successful the route was. Maybe she'll speak up?
I wont hold my breath though. | |
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