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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:14:12 AM | My late husband was Polish, but was already steeped in American culture when we married.
I have dated men from all over the world, and on the whole, I think American men (especially ones from the South) rock. However, those guys from the Atlantic states are sure handsome, and the ones from the Pacific states have cool personalities, and then the ones from the Midwest are soooo down-to-earth.
HeHe, I guess I just like men! | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:14:56 AM | It is called "setting the stage," background information as to why the question came into being,
And thus includes it in the topic. Some might want to question if "the stage was set" fairly, based on what was used to set it. Afaic, if you're going to use your topic as some kind of rebuttal to another, expect people to address what you are rebutting.
If you want to talk about peanut butter, don't bring up why people are always talking about jam, just stick to the peanut butter. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:40:35 AM | interesting observation - i've never seen in any other post the OPoster being told how they should have posted their original post. sure i've seen Op's being told if they ask the question, expect answers they might not wish to hear, or requests for more information than the OP offered...
but never have i seen this happen before - telling the OP how she should have written her post....and many oposters have criticized the posters before, so this is not the first time for that....
and i wonder if it has anything to do with some of the men here just have to have a go at a woman because they are not getting satisfied with the answers they are hearing, and maybe also because they keep going off topic and it is being noticed and commented on.
perhaps it's happening here because the topic sort of hits men in a sensitive area... hmmm, speaking of male sensitive areas, now I wasn't going to go into my dissatisfaction physically with american men, but maybe this is a good time to mention it quietly....shhhh, but british men were much more able to make love than too many of the american men i have come across....is it age, or truly i am thinking it's something in the water here perhaps?? now I'll probably get slammed for saying that, or told it's probably me, but the reasons told me here have sounded valid (and none said it was me)....so a mystery for sure! and please know i am not saying this as a low blow (ahem) or to be disrespetful or hurtful - it has been a concern and i've really wondered what's happened to some of the men here? | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:50:17 AM |
Sure why not! I am European who have dated on several continents so I might be able to help you answer your two questions. Since it is impossible to speak for an entire population, I have to resort to generalizations.
1. Depends on if you talk Northern or Southern European men (huge difference). In general, however, European males tend to be a little more aware of the world around them.
Yes, as an American woman, I agree. I have lived in the Southwest and California, as well as the Northeast of the USA. I have also lived a few years in Europe. One can find small percentages of community minded American males who have travelled perhaps, are educated and know how to consider other people without it being a huge threat to their own personal identity. But there are far greater numbers of American males who are unaware and unconcerned with anything that is not in front of their noses. Ironically, these guys have the biggest egos, are the most pleased with themselves despite accomplishing and understanding very little and are always whining that feminism has made it so that no woman wants to listen to and support their great dreams and aspirations of being in charge--of what, they have no idea. It is pretty rare to come across guys like this in Europe, as they are much more socially/community minded, much less self agrandizing, and therefore easier to get along with in a relationship. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:52:42 AM |
I love British/Irish/Scottish accents. Maybe it is why I majored in British Lit. But after a woman is swept off her feet, eventually she is placed back on the ground. The accent needs to be accompanied by a keen mind.
Maybe to you, and probably to most people. But people that are getting mail order brides obviously aren't thinking that, and there are plenty of women that would be content with a nice piece of arm candy. (If not, there wouldn't be so many profiles of women in my area that only ask for "hot, sexy men.")
I think that some women are just like men in this area-- they're just more able to be subtle. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:54:26 AM | | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I've really never heard of an American woman getting a mail-order bride, so I think you've lost the thread a bit, which is American women being satisfied/unsatisfied with American men. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:58:16 AM | ^ No... I'm using the comparison from the original post to create the idea that women are just as likely as men to form one dimensional relationships for some eye candy, they're just more subtle about it. (Meaning they don't order a mail order husband...)
I fully understand the thread.
Again-- plenty of women meet people overseas/ foreigners at home.
The OPs initial mail order bride comparison might have even been a bit too out of the ordinary. Because this doesn't imply that men are unhappy with American women as much as it implies that they want things to be easy and they want to be in control. It takes a VERY specific personality to "buy" a spouse. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:58:30 AM |
And thus includes it in the topic. Some might want to question if "the stage was set" fairly, based on what was used to set it. Afaic, if you're going to use your topic as some kind of rebuttal to another, expect people to address what you are rebutting.
If you want to want to talk about peanut butter, don't bring up why people are always talking about jam, just stick to the peanut butter.
Actually, my OP was not a rebuttal to anything; I was not opening a debate as to the superiority or inferiority of nonUS women. In fact, I was not opening a debate of any sort; I was and still am curious about why/if WOMEN prefer nonUS men. Another fact, I didn't place a value judgment on those foreign brides, although I did say I KNOW why men prefer them.
I also opened my statement, "Correct me if I am wrong." So far, no man has corrected me about my observation--they are defending their desire for foreign women.
As far as your analogy of peanut butter, if I asked what kind of peanut butter a person likes on his/her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would not be interested in what type of jelly he/she likes.
First, let's just cut out all the bullshit about "foreign brides" shall we?
Your anger is misplaced and misdirected. Your defensiveness is overwhelming. I notice that you didn't attack the men who insulted American women.
Tsk-tsk.
When I frequented Y chat, men in the chat rooms blocked most women from the Philippines because they were scammers. I teach college English. I had a lovely woman from the Philippines who took two of my classes. She is smart, worked hard, and is married to a doctor. There is a woman who also teaches at the school. She has an MA in science--she is also on her third or fourth American husband, but who isn't? These women were not in Y chat looking for men, nor had they ever been.
We need to look at people as individuals, but there is such a things as being too PC. A foreign bride is a foreign bride, but it doesn't have to be a negative connotation. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:00:32 AM | interesting observation
Thanks.
- i've never seen in any other post the OPoster being told how they should have posted their original post. sure i've seen Op's being told if they ask the question, expect answers they might not wish to hear, or requests for more information than the OP offered...
So you have a problem with constructive criticism?
but never have i seen this happen before - telling the OP how she should have written her post....and many oposters have criticized the posters before, so this is not the first time for that....
I'm addressing the fact that her and others are complaining about posters who aren't adhering to what she wants adhered to. I am pointing out the reason for this.
Besides, just because you may not have seen this before, does not make it wrong.
In fact, DJchickie's, Gwendolyn's, and your complaints are ironically..... off topic.
As well as my constructive criticism.
i didn't say it was wrong - i simply made the observation, that's all.
Why was it worthy of such scrutiny?
The End.
In fact, I was not opening a debate of any sort; I was and still am curious about why/if WOMEN prefer nonUS men. Another fact, I didn't place a value judgment on those foreign brides, although I did say I KNOW why men prefer them.
I never said you were opening a debate. Rebutting another thread is not necessarily a debate. My peanut butter analogy stands. If you want people to stick to the main focus of the topic, it's best to keep it to the focus in opening statements. You simply included US men and foreign brides as part of the topic, ie to "set the stage"....expect it to be discussed to some degree. I've moderated a few forums on other messageboards in the past, this is actually quite a common occurence and resulting complaint. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:19:20 AM | i didn't say it was wrong - i simply made the observation, that's all. and each time i have brought my constructive criticism back to the opost as illustrating some of the reasons for my dissatisfaction with US men - so not off topic really....
and i'm going to do it again now -
calling your suggestions 'constructive criticism' and mine 'complaints' is another reason i find the men that display your type of logic dissatisfying and in fact quite frustrating.
and now i'm going to constructively criticize the OP - i can see this thread indeed has become another in the great gender divide....
and for that, I am sorry you started it, as I said in my first post because, ultimately, I do want to find ways for us (men and women, and as i'm here, US men and US women) to start focusing on the positives with each other instead of all the negatives that have been overdosing the forum threads lately.
or so it seems to me....
and i realize i have added to the 'bashing spree',
which, really,
is my responsibility
and no other's....and does go against my basic belief we are all part of humanity
and, technically, filled with sensitivity
for each other ....even if it's hard to see
or remember our unity.
we are one. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:28:03 AM |
Demanding, abrasive, combative..............hmm, interesting way of describing
American women, Happy.
Hey the man asked a question and I answered it as truthfully as I could, especially since I have the unique position to understand that side. I know a lot of European men (and I mean a lot) since I am from there and those are the words they tend to use to describe US women. Does it apply universally....no, but that is the perception shared by a lot of them. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:31:13 AM | The words demanding, abrasive and combative have been used in this thread to describe American women and why they are disliked by men( not that this was the question asked) This information was graciously volunteered by a gentleman. I might suggest that the qualities that are turning us both off to eachother might just be a developing American trait and in actuality, gender neutral. Hence, our grand and notorious reputation generally accepted around the globe. We are a demanding, abrasive and combative culture--period. I doubt if many could argue with this. Not the most endearing traits when seeking a partner. Maybe that is why everyone is looking elsewhere.
Only difference is that American call these traits confidence. I don`t. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:32:55 AM |
One can find small percentages of community minded American males who have travelled perhaps, are educated and know how to consider other people without it being a huge threat to their own personal identity. But there are far greater numbers of American males who are unaware and unconcerned with anything that is not in front of their noses. Ironically, these guys have the biggest egos, are the most pleased with themselves despite accomplishing and understanding very little and are always whining that feminism has made it so that no woman wants to listen to and support their great dreams and aspirations of being in charge--of what, they have no idea. It is pretty rare to come across guys like this in Europe, as they are much more socially/community minded, much less self agrandizing, and therefore easier to get along with in a relationship.
Being a male born in the southern US, it pains me slightly to have to agree with this post in it's entirety. 
I blame the general belligerence of the typical US male on the fact that our coming of age mythology is almost entirely within the realm of the 'conquering cowboy' meme & since we no longer have those physical opportunities in our culture for identifying our own self worth at an early age, we are left w/ a vague sense of having 'missed the fight' & sometimes spend considerable energy during our lifetimes looking for that type of masculine validation. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:35:26 AM | "Demanding, abrasive, combative"
american men are like that too!
along with:
*Disrespectful
*Unappriciative
*Liers
*Cheaters
* Drunks
Oh....Wait am I generlizing? | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:42:18 AM | message 115 - nightwing.....thank you sincerely for finally honoring what many of us have been trying to say for a long time, and not just on this thread.
the fact that you could hear that post and not take it personally and not defend men, but only slightly pained :), could acknowledge what was said and offering a possible reason why, is deeply gratifying to me and i'm sure many others who have also tried so hard to get some men to see how they are.  | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:43:47 AM | Nightwing,That is perfectly expressed and that is how the aggression of alot
of American men make me feel. It almost seems as if the acquisition of the highest quality mate( in other men`s eyes) in order to fit into his compatmentalized view of success in the building of his empire, is the goal. It`s not about finding a soul mate life partner and being happy. It is more about finding a babe who will make him look successful, help him be sucessful, and bolster his ego with as little expense and interactions possible. Anotherwords, look great, shut up, support me, don`t ask a thing of me,
and idolize me as the god that I am. To them, the fufillment of this male fantasy of success is the ultimate happiness. This has been the prototype of success that has been fed to American men by media for a very long time. And they have been listening.
I don`t think alot of American men are bonding with their woman any more. It`s more
like a partner that most closely facilitates his needs at whatever point he may be in , in his life. When his place changes, his needs change, the type of partner may need to change to fit his required needs. Basically, it feels like detachment and the ulitmate of selfishness. And of course, selfishness begets selfishness. ( and no more home cooked meals) | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:54:03 AM | wildflower -
It`s not about finding a soul mate life partner and being happy. It is more about finding a babe who will make him look successful, help him be sucessful, and bolster his ego with as little expense and interactions possible. Anotherwords, look great, shut up, support me, don`t ask a thing of me,
and idolize me as the god that I am. To them, the fufillment of this male fantasy of success is the ultimate happiness. This has been the prototype of success that has been fed to American men by media for a very long time. And they have been listening.
sadly, i also could offer the female version - in my mind, possibly the version of american women who will never be satisfied with any man, never mind american men :) -
"It's not about finding a soul mate life partner and being happy. It is more about finding a stud who will make her look successful, help her be successful, and bolster her ego with as much expense as possible. Anotherwords, look great, shut up, support her, always ask and focus on her, and idolize her as the goddess that she is. To them, the fulfillment of the female fantasy of success in the eyes of her girlfriends and neighbors and colleagues is the ultimate happiness. This has been the prototype of success that has been fed to American women by media for a long time. And they have been listening."
thankfully, not all men and not all women have been listening...... | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:00:10 AM | | ^^^^^^^^^^^^Yeah, I agree , sorry to say. For myself, I have always been the cheerleader and am all ra-ra`d out. Never cared much about what other people thought, just wanted a nice partner, build a life and be happy. But that isn`t how this society seems to work. So people like me just get burned out after some bad experiences and just assume the worst, and yes, become cynical and jaded. I could have Jesus himself fall in my lap right now, and wonder , "yeah, you`re a man, what`s your game and what do you want out of me?" The whole thing is sad. I know alot of guys feel the same way about women to and women and men are both guilty of it. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:01:40 AM | I blame the general belligerence of the typical US male on the fact that our coming of age mythology is almost entirely within the realm of the 'conquering cowboy' meme & since we no longer have those physical opportunities in our culture for identifying our own self worth at an early age, we are left w/ a vague sense of having 'missed the fight' & sometimes spend considerable energy during our lifetimes looking for that type of masculine validation.
Meh, I wouldn't be so quick to generalize men like that. How many North American men have you come across as compared to the ones you haven't?
I much prefer this:
You know what's interesting? It all comes down to culture differences. I've lived on both the Eastern and Western sea boards in America. There is a huge difference in the way men treat women and the type of social relationships that they have with us. Even in the Midwest. So, to put ALL American men in the same bowl is hard for me to take in. So, now I just base everything on one thought; everyone is different. I have to take in one person at a time. Even if you had two people born in the same spot at the same time, they will be very different. It all comes down to: What their life exspirence is, Their attitude towards life and are they a quality person? Every country has some seriously rotten people in it and then, they also have some awesome folks as well!
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:02:09 AM | Thanks for the positive comments!
I often silently thank my father for having provided me w/ an alternate upbringing that allowed me to prove myself (in meaningful ways) at an early age & thereby avoid the emotional pitfalls of being a man in the US that trap so many otherwise worthy souls. Fortunately, I got to thank him for this in person before he passed. Ironically, he thought he had failed me somewhat by not better 'providing' for me in the usual areas (personally, I thought he did just fine in those, as well). I don't think he ever understood just how important in my life this alternate viewpoint has been.
On the flip side of the coin, women in this society must navigate the thin line between womanhood & Motherhood, as their primary focus in life. Should they choose the latter, they are often left wondering why their partner gradually became distant, unsatisfied & unwilling to meet his partner's emotional needs.....when all the while they had unconsciously put HIS emotional needs at the rear of the priority list.
Meh, I wouldn't be so quick to generalize men like that, it's how can I put it... logically fallacious.
My purposeful inclusion of the word 'typical' allows not only for the admittance of a generalization...but also for those who are a-typical. Perhaps that distinction would have been better served by including the " -" around the word typical in the initial post. | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:08:32 AM |
"Demanding, abrasive, combative"
american men are like that too!
along with:
*Disrespectful
*Unappriciative
*Liers
*Cheaters
* Drunks
Oh....Wait am I generlizing? LOL! WOW!!! Now that's a scathing review!!!
I must be meeting a who different class of men down here at the bottom of the food chain! LOL! MY observations are, that far too many women mistake being PATRONIZED for being respected. Granted, I've found men from other countries to be very smoothe talkers (patronizing)...but it's like...." the generic female" kind of nonsense. Meaning, that as a woman...I'm just like all others...respond to the same lines in the same way that all other do...which is of course as we know.....Bull$hit. When it comes to RESPECTING individual women as individuals, NO WHERE are you as likely to find that as in the good ole USA.
Do ALL men respect ALL women....don't be silly. Not ALL women deserve respect, just like not all men deserve respect....it must be earned. Those cultures where men are ohhhhh sooo charming....are doing NOTHING more than patronizing.....like...here baby...stick your pacifier in your mouth and shut up! Being pacified may be nice for a little "break", but who wants to spend their whole life in a crib?
Please tell me of 1 nation where men overwhelmingly encourage, accept and nurture their partners to be equals in the relationship. For that matter.....tell me 5 other cultures even consider the female to be a "partner"?
Save the pacification for the bimbos and give me a great American male anyday! If I can't earn respect...then I certainly don't want to be pacified with any psuedo "little interchangable woman" crap. | |
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Isabon
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Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 123 | |
| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:11:23 AM |
THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY
THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS
THERE IS NO TOOTH FAIRY
GOOD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Now you've gone too far! There IS an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus! | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:16:10 AM |
OP - Are women satisfied with their relationships with American men? Are American men superior to men of other countries? Despite all the complaining that US women do, are we really content with our males? Do we figure that there aren't any "better" males out there?
Unstoppable's post:
Second, most Russian and Asian men around the world are poor. Most women don't tend to date or sleep with or marry men who make much less than they do. Someone at the poverty line in the US still lives 100 times better than most people in the world. And let's be real, most American women would not find most Asian men attractive. Most American women are Caucasian women, and most Caucasian women don't find Asian men desirable, not even the Americanized versions. Asians are considered meek and submissive and often have features that are not considered attractive ( short, not as muscular, shoulders not as broad, seen as submissive, seen as the "perfect minority", stereotypes of small penises and treat women poorly and being cheap) I would also suspect most Russian men would be eliminated too, for simple amount of work. Most American women I've met expect to be catered to, finding a mate overseas and bringing them here is a ton of work.
OP's response to this post didnt address this ^ paragraph.
Although Unstoppable's post was much longer and did imo seem to attack American women, he does appear to offer an answer as above to the question as to why American women might be content with American men - though it does boil down to there not being a better alternative. Does OP have an opinion on this? | |
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| Are women satisfied with American men?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:17:38 AM | | GrandmaBooBoo , If you even thought to look at the bottom line of the post, you would have relized all that was said in Sarcasm! Next time read the whole post and you would save your self the trouble instead of just shooting your mouth off on random posters. | |
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