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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:41:08 PM | | Amy - thank the lucky stars that you only invested 8 months into this relationship and didn't marry him. He's a total pos that doesn't deserve you. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:46:10 PM | I've been through something similar. A guy broke up with me by e-mail after 10 months. Sex and phone calls right up until the day he dumped me.
It does feel like a death. You've lost a future you had all planned out in your head. It's really really hard. Go at it emotionally as though you are mourning a death. Give yourself so time to grieve, but then remember that life goes on.
Hang in there. To be honest, I don't think you ever get over it. But you heal and it makes you stronger for the next relationship. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:54:31 PM | Thanks everyone!
I know I deserve better....and I hate that he couldnt say it to me in person....but did it via text.
My boss told me something today when I went in her office with tears in my eyes asking if I could go home. She said that sometimes God will remove an obstacle out of your path for you so you can go on to better things. I guess he was my obstacle. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:08:43 PM | Been here...you talk about no b*lls. Maybe its because you were REJECTED, no matter what or the situation no one likes rejection. {Player} that is all he was.
Im so very sorry!
I wish all the best for you in your future! | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:09:48 PM | | I just had the same thing happen Why would a guy do that yes it shows thier true self cant handle their business. it really does hurt and I too buried a husband a few years ago at a young age and ended up remarrying and that turned bad and yet to have met a guy who could tell me face to face they didnt want to see me this guy says hes needs some space but still wants to see me space to do what? | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:37:49 PM | Amy, I am so sorry this happened to you. You are better off without him and I admire your ability to rise above. I don't think he would have even gotten the "OK" out of me. He would have gotten nothing.
You trust somebody and they betray you, you don't trust somebody and you are paranoid and you drove them to it. There is nothing worse than catching someone you care for in a lie or being betrayed by them.
You are not an idiot you trusted him, unfortunately you were involved with someone who has no morals and for that I am very sorry, I have been through this myself very recently.
Things will get better, I promise, it will just take some time. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:23:56 AM | That's so rotten! I Just cannot comprehend people like him...
The Least he could have done is have the DECENCY to tell you face to face, and face the responsibility of his actions...
I sincerely hope the hurt fades quickly, and that you meet a decent guy. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:15:39 AM | Sorry to hear that happened to you.
His behaviour is a reflection on him, not yourself. He is gutless and has no class, you are better to know this now then after years...doesnt take away your pain, I know...but keep telling yourself this.
There are nice men out there who will treat women with dignity. Too bad you met the player instead. I think we have all encountered someone like this via online dating....Seems if they meet you online, they think no matter what developes offline, they can end things the way it started? Just low, low, low. | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 4:38:36 AM | Your boss was right about this man being an obstacle. There is someone better coming along that is why he had to get out of the way.
I will not give this guy a second glance if I were you. He has no decency at all and mark my word, he will do this to the other woman. He is a sociopath - no regard for other's feelings as long as he can get what he want. Sick, sick, sick....
Remember, this too shall pass. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:24:14 AM | Just remember two words~
KARMA BABY!!!!!
His actions will come back to haunt him, someday.
What a jerk.
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:54:20 AM | I'm not even sure if the text message is the big issue here. I think it's more of him being a complete douchebag loser. He played with your feelings, lead you on, and then when things ended, he did it in a rather inhumane way.
I guess the way to try to spin this is that it's good he is out of your life, better to know he is a jerk now than even later down the road. And if you are feeling really mean, can see if she knows about you, because if they are in love, I doubt she would've been too cool with him having sex with you and then breaking up.
That is if you are feeling mean and vengeful.  | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:12:38 PM | | I'm really sorry. What can you say, except that his behaviour was appalling and you have nothing to blame yourself for. I do understand how you feel and it will take a while to recover from. He's not the person you thought he was and it is a tremendous shock to find that out. He's cowardly and uses women. You will realise you are better off without him once the hurt has faded. Yes, barbie7659 is right, he has shown his true self, and it's not a pretty picture. You, on the other hand, are a decent, kind and loving person - way out of his league. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:57:20 PM | I would rather get a text message than when they just disappear! That really hurts! | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:27:31 PM |
KARMA BABY!!!!!
His actions will come back to haunt him, someday.
What a jerk.
The problem is, it's always those very dear to him like a female member of his family who will pay dearly for what he has done. I've seen this happening too many times before. I just hope that somehow they get spared from bad karma because of the appalling behaviour of this man. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:54:38 PM | I am so very sorry Amy...there is nothing fair in this and it will be some time probably before you will find any good in it. Similar happened to me, except it was my husband. Hurt like hell, still does. Betrayal, humiliation, rejection, grief...one wicked mix of emotions. I hate being angry and thinking badly of people, so I didn't get bitter or trash men, though maybe some anger would be a good thing! I try to just focus on making sure my own actions are honourable and that I do my best to be honest and not hurt people. Then although I am sad, I can look myself in the mirror and feel I have integrity. Small comfort, I know, but take it where you can get it....
As someone else said, "here's to Time".... | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:08:13 PM | Amy, stay on that high road. Confronting him in any way isn't going to make him feel any worse for what he did, and it won't make you feel any better. A jerk like that doesn't care that he hurt you.
I had a guy a few years ago break up with me by telling some of our mutual friends that we had already broken up. He told them that he had decided things weren't working out and that I was really upset about it. When I ran into one of those friends a couple days later and she started to console me... it was a shock.
It took me several days to even get in touch with him to find out what was going on. Even when I confronted him with the fact that someone had told me what was going on, he still denied it. He was just a coward. Too scared to tell me to my face that he wanted to move on. I think he expected me to react and cause a scene, so I did the opposite. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:10:47 PM | Ok... I'm going to play devil's advocate here...
I have found that there just isn't a good way to dump someone. I mean you can take them to a fancy restaurant, a comedy club, an amusement park, etc. and tell them face to face, holding their hands, crying with them, and they will STILL hate you.
So to me, breaking up by text message isn't such a bad idea.
Also Amy... I don't know you but I get this impression that you may have anger issues. I mean it's bad enough breaking up with someone in a calm manner, but if they have anger issues... well that's not only a reason to break up, but it's a reason to break up from a comfortable distance, if you get my drift... | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:34:32 PM | These are the reasons why I hate people: selfishness and callousness. I mean goddamn, what the hell is wrong with this dude? Where the hell did he get that idea from? I'm just trying to understand what the bullsh!t going through his head is during all that time that he's waiting for you to get as far as possible before laying down that sh!t. If he was my brother, I'd hit that mutha fvcka!
Alright I calmed down, but you know what gets me about this whole deal? The fact that you were ready to set up a new life for yourself. And that's the thing that you have to reconcile with. Everyone says, "move on" and sh!t, but they don't carry your hurt, your pain. Sometimes when someone has hurt you in this way; you just gotta know that it's okay to wallow a bit, that it's okay to cry and that it's okay to feel a little bit down. A Navy SEAL once told me that when you feel pain, hurt, exhaustion and the tears, blood and sweat start in on you it's a sign that weakness is leaving your body. That it's up to you to get up and start your journey again.
I guess I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to stop and say "give me a second." It's okay to feel the bruises and hurt for a bit. It's more than okay to cry over this. You need to go through your own process, that's all. Deal with it now, so you don't carry it with you. I hope that you're able to take that deep breath and take time to heal yourself.
Stay strong. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:00:57 PM | Oh my god....I am so sorry for you...this happened to me about a month ago...a guy i met on here....he was really keen, making plans, talking about holidays, booking trips etc.....I even met his daughter......then, out of the blue, the same day as he's been texting me all day.....he dumps me...no explanation, nothing...he wouldn't even answer the phone.....
I can tell you now (as he has since given me some form of explanation) that it was totally HIS problem...nothing to do with me......and I've come to terms with what happened and have even written him a nice testimonial on his profile....
So, while I can't give you any clue as to why this guy treated you so appallingly.....or what he thought he was playing at.....I can tell you it has NOTHING to do with you....its HIS problem and his issues.....
DO NOT LET THIS MAN BREAK YOUR CONFIDENCE.....you've been through MUCH worse...which is probably why it does hurt so bad at the moment...because you thought you were getting a second chance on love....but, (and I know this is a cliche) it will get better over time, trust me, theres no way i could have been so magnanimous to write a testimonial for my ex 4 weeks ago....I just wanted to trash his car or something (SO glad I didn't tho)
For one thing...you deserve better than to be treated like that.....so he isn't good enough to be with you if he thinks its ok to treat you like this......
I wrote my ex an email...as he was too cowardly to answer the phone and tell me in person....I wasn't expecting a reply....but it helped me achieve a little bit of closure....just by the very act of writing how I was feeling in black and white....he did reply and I got some kind of explanation...and while it didn't make me feel better immediatlely, it did help me understand that he was pretty screwed up, and therefore not good enough for me anyway ......maybe that would help you?
I hope you feel better about things soon and are able to see that perhaps, in the long run, you're better off.....
Take care.xxxx | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:08:30 PM | Amy, it hurts so badly because (a) it's a blow to your ego to be dumped; (b) you feel foolish at having been fooled; (c) you were intimate with this guy; and (d) you thought you had a future together in marriage. To be widowed young, followed by being dumped, is like going blind and then losing your hearing. Girl, my heart is with you.
My suggestion to you is to think very seriously about telling the next "Mr. Right" that if he wants to get you into bed, he's going to have to get a wedding ring on your finger first! Furthermore, it's a really good idea to know someone for at least a year, and see how they operate under stress, before marrying them.
I'm not sure how long you've been widowed, nor the circumstances. But don't let loneliness overpower you to the point that you settle for anything less than the best. As for the guy who did you this way, be grateful to God that you didn't marry The Great Deceiver! Boy, did I pity any girl who does! | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:16:12 PM | | Why does it hurt? Because someone you cared very much for treated you like crap. I know exactly how you feel because my husband of 17 years who I was so in love with, sent me a text message saying he had filed for divorce, but he would call me the next day so we could "talk." Like you I was devastated. It was bad enough he wanted a divorce, but to send me a text message? Our teenage son wouldn't break up with a girl that way. I promise you will get through this. Remember this has nothing to do with you, rather it says what kind of person he is. Cowardly, gutless, I could go on, but why bother? He isn't worth the trouble. So for now, cry if you want. Scream, throw things. It's a grieving process and the day will come when you will wake up and realize how lucky you were to dodge that particular bullet. You were humiliated yes. You were hurt. Betrayed. But would you really want to be with someone who is so self centered, such a gutless wonder? Of course not. So take a minute and tell yourself how truly lucky you are that that jerk is out of your life. It may take some time, but you'll be ok. | |
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:22:34 PM | Aw, Amy, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Others before me have probably said it better, but the guy was no good. So, you are grieving and that is quite normal, to grieve the loss of what you thought you had, to grieve that you believed him to be someone other than who he is, to grieve that your judgement was not all that you'd hoped it would be, to grieve that he led you on, right up to the very last second to make sure he got *his* goodbye sex, not to mention the video sent to his cousin . . what a wanker. Pity his new woman and count your lucky stars.
And when he calls you again (and yes, I believe he will call you again), stick to your guns. Thank him for removing himself from your life, wish him well, say goodbye and hang up on him before he can say another word.
Then go and have a bubble bath, with a big smile on your face. After all, it turns out that you really dodged a bullet there. :)
The future holds great things for you.
Oh, and for the guy that said you've got anger management problems . . .don't call us, and we won't call you. ;)
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| dumped by a text message....
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:38:45 PM |
I'm a widow. I buried a husband that I loved with all my heart. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. This is really nothing in comparison....so why does it hurt so bad?
Because you cared ~ my experience in should matters ~ what comes around , goes around ~ in time ~ we all get our "just" reward. ~
You are saved ~ for better things ~ dance | |
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