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 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 26
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
i used to believe that i would and could never sleep with someone i was not "in love with"

times have changed, and so have i

i do think its possible to have sex with someone without the emotional commitment, enjoy it thoroughly, look yourself in the mirror afterward, and do it again

i think as long as the parties involved are respectful, up front about the intentions, and ok with it "being what it is," there should be no judgements passed by anyone else

i also recognize that at some point in the futire, i may return to feeling like i don't want sex without love and/or commitment......its about keeping an open mind, listening to what your inner voice tells you at a particular juncture in your life; what worked for me 20, 15, 10, 5 years ago has changed........and will continue to change
 whitelakejim
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 27
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:32:02 AM
For me sex without an emotional connection is just sex without feeling. For me sex is about love. the emotional connection is what takes sex to a higher leave. Being in love with my partner is what I want.
 kthyg
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 28
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Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:55:48 AM
I can have sex without an emotional attachment although I prefer it to be with friends. I find sex gets better as you know each other longer and become more comfortable so friends are best. That's a type of emotional connection but not a romantic one.

I have had completly NSA sex and never thought badly of myself the next day. Sex is a wonderful, physical release. I enjoy it.
 cajunalesia
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 29
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:58:50 AM
sex has always been better for me with emotions and feelings involved......the stronger the feelings get, the better the sex, the better the sex, the stronger the feelings.....a nice circle to be looping
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 30
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:03:06 AM
Guys call it "stress relief"...which they often pay for in one way or another. It helps keep them sane.
 PirateOB
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 31
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Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:18:58 AM
It is what it is make the best of it we never know how long we'll be here
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 32
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Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:57:55 AM
I can have sex without an emotional connection. I don't like to do it for long as I find I get dragged out. I prefer to be in a good, loving, long term relationship... the sex gets better and better that way.
 Taralaraa
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 33
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:34:21 PM
I know I can have mind blowing sex without an emotional connection but for me I know the sex gets better, deeper, more intimate, when there is an emotional connection. The deeper mind connection does work for me.

I have not felt bad after sex-just-for-sake-of-it but just felt there was something missing.
 xdamianax
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 34
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:44:14 PM
Some of the best raw sex I have ever had has been with someone I had no emotional connection with. I never have felt "bad" the next day either.

As far as the sex getting better in a "commited" relationship, I think that is a matter of prospective too. I think its more about learning what makes each other get off from having sex together over and over again.

There is one guy I have been banging once or twice a month for the past 3 months now. Sex is getting better and better, yes... Still no emotional connection though. If you were to see us out you would never know that we were doing anything at all.

What's so great about this is that I don't have to worry about him getting jealous if I decide I want to "play" with someone else, and he doesn't get the whole "****y girlfriend" who wants to know who he is with and where he is at.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 35
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:53:15 PM
I think you are mistaken with respect to men having sex without an emotional connection. What men do not need is deep personal involvement. Women need more personal involvement, even if it doesn't have to be all that deep in some instances.
 girlwillbegirl
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 36
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:55:20 PM
Been there, done that. As I'm getting older, love and trust become increasingly important. Maybe I'm GROWING UP.
 heather621
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 37
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 1:49:44 PM
I'm very old fashioned, and I know its not the norm any more, but I can't sleep with a guy who I don't have feelings for, and have no emotional connection. I just can't. Kudos to those who do though. I just feel like guys expect all girls to sleep with them just because they tell you "you seem cool. i dont want a relationship. I just want to have a good time." Not my style at all. But sometimes I felt like I was the only one nowadays (in my social circle) who doesn't have sex outside of a relationship. If I even WAS able to do it, I'd start to have feelings for the person, and then to be rejected after all that would kill me. Oh yeah, I'm not religious either. Most people seem to think so when I tell them my views on this topic.
 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 38
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:00:21 PM
The heck of it is nowadays with relaxed morals, that if a lady wants to wait until she finds a man respectful enough to allow them the time to develop feelings first, she may very well remain celibate for the rest of her life. I doubt if there are many men that are going to be patient and wait for an emotional relationship or want one to develop. That`s like finding the needle in the haystack.
 SecretxLvr
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 39
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:01:18 PM
I'm ****ing a couple of guys w/o any emotional attachment. I've been like that for the past ten years. It's nice to not be an emotional wreck anymore over a guy.
 reality guy
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 40
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:29:21 PM
Mary (0709) what is going on? First you are local, then in Michigan, and are now suddenly 7 feet tall in Alaska but still a desert wildflower? I'm confused! I do like you postings, a true insite on how one woman thinks. Most guys are a waste (I'm a rare exception), so you do have my attention with your stories. Men go though similiar situations, but don't have to deal with a penis.
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 41
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:54:00 PM
No emotional connection needed. Sometimes its nice to get off, then get out. I will say the best lovers have involved at least friendship. Makes the sex better in my opinion. But I think its bull that all men do it without some connection. Some men HAVE to have a connection. Thank god its the minority.

I have never regretted anything. Even the bad sex (bad due to chemistry, skill or lack of interest.... usually takes two to make it bad). No regrets.
 somethingismissing
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 42
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:53:32 AM
I agree, who needs an emotional connection anyways.. Sometimes it is jut about 2 people ravishing each others bodies.. I am married, and NEVER have sex with my wife (unfortunatley for me).. So I am looking for exactly that some fun sex with NSA..
 sweetcurvyloving
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 43
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:36:03 PM
Been there, done that and felt incredible empty afterward. I'm in this for making love not just sex.
 reservedone
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 44
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:50:06 PM
i might be one of the strangest males in the world, but i absolutely hate sex without an emotional connection. i can always masturbate if i want to relieve tension or frustration. i don't like having sex, thats just physical. the bond i feel when making love to my partner far outways any animal action.
 sandah
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 45
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i will like
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:46:47 AM
i willm like to know more about love from you
 sandah
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 46
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i will like
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:50:20 AM
(0047)46344769 afrom italia base in norway am a male need to have friend in norway
 valiebgood72
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 47
i will like
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:35:11 PM
The girls on The View was just talking about sex without emotion/relationship today, and I believe Whoopi was the only one out of them and perhaps Joy who wasn't as bold when speaking out like whoopi, But what Whoopi said , Yes sex is always better in a relationship when there is love and a connection, But when your single and theres an itch , ya need to get it scratched. I agree , Im not the type to jump from one relationship to the next, As a single mom , I take time to heal and be with my kids. Its been 2 yrs since my last relationship and I just havent found anyone I want to get serious with IF I even wanted to since then... So when Im feeling an itch , damn straight Im going to find someone to scratch it . A toy or a shower massager can only do so much .
 forumologist
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 48
i will like
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:33:21 PM
So, in reading this post I guess there goes the theory that women need attachment and men don't. I knew it was bs all along.

Ok sure, love and sex is better than just sex but really, I don't think we are that different at all and all this bs about biology excusing men for being weak and doggish is just an excuse in a mans world......which is rapidly changing by the looks of this thread.

So I guess we are going to see a lot more threads from men complaining that they are being used for sex and how it hurts their feelings. Hmmm.

I find men very demanding about emotional connection. They hate it when you just want to romp with them and not connect more deeply. They throw tantrums and get all broody. I guess their ego can't take it.

Thing is, if I waited until I met a hot guy I lusted after who is ALSO relationship material, I'd be celibate for years and years - and that's no fun.
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 49
i will like
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:54:17 PM
Point of order ladies...

Attraction is an emotional state. Ergo you did have a connection of some kind. ;)
 Sophie H
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 50
Having sex when there is no emotional connection-
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:57:34 PM
No kidding!!!!!
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