| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:59:19 PM | sargo you said "The whole point was to say that the first to file for the divorce would be the one with the rights. If the person paid all the court fees then they should get 100% of everything or gives them 100% protection of not losing what they have."
What happens when the person who cheated on or is abused files for divorce can't afford all the fees? Are they supposed to stay in a marriage because they can't? You have never went through a divorce so obviously you haven't been with someone for 10 or 20 years and don't have a clue as to what is at stake.
Also people who cheat are often the ones who file for divorce. According to you "Its the person who files that is granted the 'protection' since they are the ones who want out and took the steps to get out." Your whole mindset is flawed in my opinion.
"But when it ended, I simply took what was mine and left what wasnt or didnt no longer want of mine. What she did from there, who knows or cares."
You may not care about what she did with the things you left behind but I surely hope you care about what she does if she is raising your child. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:34:56 AM | "And a man who cheats, obviously isnt going to be the one who files first."
Sargo, this was your quote....where do you get that idea from? You are sooooo wrong in soooo many ways. With your ideas about divorce, you'd have so many people jumping at being the first to file...lol. It almost makes me laugh. I said almost. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:32:23 AM | In my case my ex......the man that cheated..... did file. And probably only did so because I had told him that I was going to file. Being that I was his 3rd wife and he probably didn't want it to look like he was dumped again, He filed for divorced to save face in his friends eyes. OF course they didn't know that jerk that he was till later when they saw how much he truly was.
He was such a gem that he filed for bankruptcy during our divorce and took all the money that we both had put into the account to pay for bills. So when the divorce was final he left me 3 months behind in every bill...
He thought that he won because at the beginning the courts gave us joint custody and $125.00 a month for child support for two boys. But I took his dumb @** back to court a year later and within 10 minutes I had full custody and over $900 a month for support.
By the way he filed and had to pay the court costs. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:44:10 AM | Sarge...if you haven't even been there, then WTF?
Your thinking is so far fetched...whether it's your opinion or not. My ex filed because I told him I had an appt with an attorney. So he gets it all? What about my house I've owned for 30 years that I added him name to? He gets it? Everything we bought together over those 17 years? he gets it? Our money? He gets it? What about the time and years I put into this marriage...it was almost 20 buddy, I get nothing and hey good riddance go start over with nothing, see ya too bad? What about the vehicles? The property up north? It's all his?
Some people own things sarge...not just a freaking couch and dishes...those are the minor things!!!
When you go into a marriage, it's more than piece of paper. You work together to ....awwww, never mind, you don't get it, you've never been there.
BTW...this ought to really frost your cake....I'm getting 50% of his pension when he retires.
Long story but he wouldnt let me go to school so I could make decent money, had to care for our disabled son, so now it's to late for me to work at a better job long enough to earn a decent one. My job will pay me a pension big enough to buy groceries for a week.
I bet you think I should give that back when the time comes too!  | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:19:33 AM | woo.. talking about divorce.. kids.. is like talking politics.
I think lawyers shouldnt happen.. that the two who were married should have to stay in one room and duke it out till they agree on something. They cant come out till they sign an agreement.. No toilet breaks nothing.
I dont even care whose fault it is..
OHH.. lets save the lawyers to sue the "other" woman for alienation of affection.. make that "c word" pay for the divorce too..  | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:46:53 AM | WOOHOO Girl....Where do I sign up??? I am with you on this one!!! Let's go lobby or something for that...I LOVE the idea!!!
I am also for going back to the wearing of the big red scarlet letter S...from the old days! | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:29:45 PM |
You may not care about what she did with the things you left behind but I surely hope you care about what she does if she is raising your child.
Theres one thing I dont have to worry about, cause Im the one has 100% custody, in the court order, I dont even have to let her see the kids... ever! Yeah she was that bad. but thats besides the point anyways.
As I said in my last post, "And a man who cheats, obviously isnt going to be the one who files first." Yes its almost always true. And why is that? Hmmm... lets see...
And probably only did so because I had told him that I was going to file.
and then ...
My ex filed because I told him I had an appt with an attorney.
Maybe it would be a good idea to NOT tell him/her till AFTER you have already done it?
Sorry to say, the person to hurry up and file, after they are told that the other half is going to file, is not trying to 'save face' or anything else other than the proven fact that the first to file is automatically considered the plaintiff and their word has more merit in the case than the one who didnt file first (now the defendant). In a real court situation, how many times to do you the Defendant come out on top? From very rare to almost never.
The problem lies with people who think the government and system actually works. It never has and never will. Look at gas prices and tell me it works, look at the lending institutions and all the foreclosures going on and tell me it works. Look at all the free walking child molesters in your neighborhood and tell me it works. Look at Michigans disfunct economy and tell me it works. The system has failed in every conceivable way yet people still believe its works. My father had to take a early retirement from GM cause they said if he stays any longer they will cut his retirements benefits by 20%. So it was either lost 12% now or 20% later. He only has 1 more year to go before his actual retirement time was needed, instead he gets screwed... and the government allowed it to happen! They allowed them to ignore the union contracts and screw over their own people. Nice of our system huh? One last example, I move into a new apartment that gets robbed before I had even fully moved in (didnt stay the night at the new place) I call the cops... they tell me theres nothing they can do. Two days later I am told by a neighbor that they seen the person who did it and gave me their full name and even their address, so I give it to the cops and what am I told.. "Sorry, nothing we can do, its a civil matter." Nice huh?
I agree completely that Lawyers should never exist. They are just the overpaid and unwanted middleman in the people-government business (yup a business and nothing more). These people just stepped up and said, here I will do it for you... for a price. They have preyed on everyones ignorance, and the system goes along with it; you not allowed to represent yourself in court unless its small claims. And just because someone gets the keep the house or to get 1/2 of a pension has nothing to do with the lawyers either, its just the other person agreed to it. So anyone who thinks that their lawyer actually did something other than collect your money, your nuts! Lawyers are no more than a glorified Monty Hall, playing 'Lets make a deal" They dont give a ratts butt about you... just your money, and the longer they can drag things out, the more they make.. end of story.
So, is it really in anyones best interest to fight a divorce for who gets the house and who gets the car. Go ahead and spend $20,000 on your divorce over a $10k car with 2 years of payments you still have on it and a house that your still making payments on for another 10 years.
The point of getting a divorce is because you want to end youre marriage and move on with your life, but yet people drag out a divorce for months and months. How is that moving on with your life? Just sell the damn house and split the money then if its an issue... If you want to keep the house fine, make it 50/50 and have the person who wants to keep it pay the other half. But no, people cant do that, after its all over they proudly say (insert proverbial chest beating here), "I got to keep the house" Like its a fricking trophy or something. And what do they have to show for it? Kids crying in their rooms at night, with one parent gone and the other verbally bashing the other. And they are PROUD of what they have done?! Truely SICK! And people say my ideas and thoughts are screwed? Yeah, whatever.
One final thought, I really enjoy having many things I have posted to simply get flamed and taken out of context. Go ahead and flame away. Like I give a crap. But, stop and give what I say some actually thought. and not just blatant outrage cause it doesnt fit to your situation. As I have seen on here, oh so many times. And NO, Im not just taking about my posts for you narrow minded individuals, cause I know thats exactly what you are thinking. And now that I have said that, you are saying, "No I wasnt".
People want honesty, they get honesty. In your face honesty. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:54:32 PM | "Sorry to say, the person to hurry up and file, after they are told that the other half is going to file, is not trying to 'save face' or anything else other than the proven fact that the first to file is automatically considered the plaintiff and their word has more merit in the case than the one who didnt file first (now the defendant)."
You are wrong, I filed for divorce and she counter filed which made both of us plantiff's.
"The problem lies with people who think the government and system actually works. It never has and never will. Look at gas prices and tell me it works, look at the lending institutions and all the foreclosures going on and tell me it works."
Too funny, like so many other you blame the lending institutions. Lending institutions tell people what they qualify for, not what they can afford. If a person has an income that lets them qualify for a loan it doesn't mean they can afford it. Maybe the lending institution should get the persons pay check and make a budget so people don't lose their house or car. The government doesn't set the price of gas, they don't control it. Do you have any idea what OPEC is? Do you have any idea what supply and demand is? Do you know anything about the global economy? Do you know how much the price is determined by speculators who but and sell futures in commodities? Its easy to point fingers and blame someone for the things we don't like. Just like so many other things you've said your comment on its not based on reality or fact. You act as though you don't like the government to have control but you want them to fix everything thats wrong.
I do respenct one thing though. You are to commended for taking care of your children. Its good to see people stepping up and protecting and taking care of their responsibilities. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:21:56 PM | | Children should not have to suffer because of a divorce or a broken relationship. Whatever it takes to do that should be done. There is no room for bitterness because that interferes when there are kids involved, especially young ones. I'm glad my kids are grown and recognize the real deal, they eventually do. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:18:20 PM | I also counterfiled, thank you. I also owe nothing on my home. It was paid for when I met and married my ex. I worked hard to pay for my home and I'll be damned if i'm giving it to anyone.
I'm not fighting for anything...he is. he doesnt like what the judge or arbitrator says i get and/or deserve.
My kids don't lay in bed at night crying, like I said..I keep them out of it at my home, he gets them in his home every other weekend and that's when the bashing goes on.
Your anger concerns me...I could actually feel it in your words when you made that rediculous comment about a person beating their chest.
You've never been there Sarge...never had to lose or give up a life's worth of stuff...home, cars..,pension, IRA's, etc, how can you sit and judge and so harshly??
Wow...just wow....
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:03:54 PM | | NOPE No chicken just a few things you never discuss in public places, Politics, Religeon and divorce/custody. They will get you so deep in a hole because each has there own opinion and all the talk in the world wont change that. Just better to stay away from some subjects. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:37:51 PM | Yeah...I guess you're right funnycritter...so I'm leaving this stupid thread!
Who was the dumb a$$ who started it any way??? 
Live and learn...live and learn.
It's all yours Sarge...have at it. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:42:30 PM | | like robitty, i also get 50 percent of my ex-husband's pension. yes, i got stuck with a lot of bills, etc., but i worked 1-2 days per week while my children were small so i could stay home with them. i do not have a pension. my children do not lay in bed at night crying. they did that when he lived here and was going bipolar on me. i do not bash their dad. that is something i will always be proud of. in fact, quite the opposite. i always tell them their dad is one of the most intelligent men i know, and he is. how he treated me has nothing to do with them. after all i have been through, at this point i have no harsh feelings. he is and will always be their dad, and my kids know how things were, but we just don't talk about them... | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:25:15 AM | | Outrage is right. you are saying since i was a stay at home for 8 of our 11 year marriage i should walk away with nothing? what about the time and effort and work that i put into keeping the house clean the laundry done, and raising our children and the fact that i supported his williness to work all the hours he could to provide for us. I gave up having time with him and a social life. are you telling me these things count for nothing? and i should walk away and have no place to go, end up on the street, hungry and a lone and lose custody of my children because he got everything else? he may have been the "bread winner" as you call it but i was his support system. It was a decision that we made together that i would be a stay at home mom, not like i just up and quite my job one day with out talking to him about it. He asked me to quite.By the way he is the one who filed. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:15:15 PM | | Psssst....he deleted his profile and left POF I was told...I think he has a few anger issues he needs to deal with before he comes back on here | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:25:22 PM | good he sounded very angry and has a lot of issues......................................................................... Me on the other hand have none.................................................well maybe one.....................LOL   | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:00:08 AM | Well after reading all this, I can honestly say I'm glad my soon to be ex and I had nothing, and no children. It's making getting a divorce without an attorney alot easier and we're actually remaining friends.
Some stuff I read here really wants to make me spout off but I ain't gonna.
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:18:46 AM | Ahhhh smart man RWC unless of course you were going to defend me
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:46:47 PM | | It does not matter who filed first, who was at fault, who got what. Nobody really wins. Yes, our lives are somehow made better because we are not with that person, but it is not the life we set out to have. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:54:36 AM | | Amen amen amen....sure isn't...not at all...and hurts our kiddos so much! | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:20:09 PM | Yes, please remember the kids. At least be cool around them.  | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:34:07 PM | Sargo's gone.....WOO WOO! I feel like my 'divorce' is final again! 
I have many female friends who were stay-at-home mom's......then hubby decided he wanted 'out' and to go elsewhere......
And, you ladies are RIGHT! Half of what was accrued by 'whomever' AFTER the marriage date is 1/2 yours.....Robin, your house was YOURS before you met him.....
I don't count 'before' posessions, and a lot of courts don't either.....
but to be left in the street with nothing AND kids after years of marriage cause either something (cheating) is intolerable or THEY just want out?
tsk tsk. Pay up, gentlemen. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:11:17 PM | | Saginaw County courts disagree with you sweets...but hey, look at the mess our city is in... speaks volumes for their intelligence level, grrrrr! No wonder I can't wait to MOVE!!! | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:16:21 PM | | IF i ever hook up again.. i will keep finances separate.. ugh.. i dont EVER want to go thru that again. | |
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| No FAULT DIVORCES
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:01:15 PM |
It does not matter who filed first, who was at fault, who got what. Nobody really wins. Yes, our lives are somehow made better because we are not with that person, but it is not the life we set out to have.
Unfortunately somebody does win, The lawyers do!
Nick | |
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