| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:36:16 AM | Maybe those who would have contacted you have already done so, or those who didn't put forth the effort at first now see you as having been on POF too long.
I no longer get any contacts from women, when at one point I was getting them every day. I think all the ones who would have contacted me already did so, and the others are like "Oh that guy is always on here. Pfftt.."
Even though I am just on for the forums now as I no longer contact any women. I just got tired of it going nowhere. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:54:15 AM |
now see you as having been on POF too long.
Maybe you can delete your current profile and create a newer one? Maybe take new pics. Just copy your profile info from this one and paste it into a new one. Maybe expand your search radius and contact men YOU think are interesting.
Try a profile review.
I did notice you haven't mentioned what type of man you want in your profile. Try adding that.
I've also seen on the profile review forum that "Looking for XXXXX" is not a good headline. Maybe try changing your headline to something more eye-catching/memorable.
Good Luck,
Krys | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:57:27 AM | Like most, your profile looks good to me, but if I had to be needlessly picky to give you something that might be useful, this is the best I can come up with:
Put a little more personality and flair into it. Instead of telling us what music you don't like, tell us what you do enjoy. Why/how are you different or unique? Who are you? Give us a hint, enough that we want to ask about it.
The pictures are good, though with all the mention you have of activity it is odd that you only have seated pictures. If you really are into the beach, hikes, yoga, skiing, working out, and travelling, show it. Put up a vacation picture, or one from a hike, or on the beach, or a party pic from a BBQ.
One way to stand out is to have a better first date section. Everyone says the same thing "hang out and talk". List some places you would like to go hiking but don't do regularly, put something specific in there. What beaches are your favorites? | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:04:21 AM | Sardonis- I hope you are wrong on the been on the site too long........
While I have been wrong before, it's just a gut feeling about how people perceive things.
I think Krysteene has a good idea about creating a new profile. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:46:53 AM | Nothing wrong that I see... other than living in California! Of course, I'm biased since I live in a state with fewer restrictions on freedom, etc.
Perhaps you could put up some new pictures. Nothing (at all!) wrong with those you have, its just that new ones might generate some new traffic.
"New and improved!"
As much as I hate to admit it, marketing is important. Last time I swapped out my pics a lot more women viewed my profile, and a few contacted me (I'm 'off the market', so I don't contact women).
Do YOU contact guys?
As a guy, that makes things easier. It also increases your chances of a date with someone who looks attractive to you. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:48:24 AM | All I can suggest is this.
3/4 of men don't smoke and most none smokes honestly do prefer other none smokers.
So do you yourself a favour & quit smoking. You'll increase your dating chances by 300% along with all the other health benefits.
I quit 10 years ago & it was the best thing I ever did. Now I just can't stand the stench
Good luck. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:52:53 AM | | I think you need to open the restrictions on the age gap a little further, all the other restrictions seem to be okay . Try that. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:16:19 AM | Do you want me to be REALLY honest? Well here it is.
Your profile, to me reads like a moving cliche. It's so typical of the stuff I personally try to avoid that I would begin reading and quickly move on. And it's sad because you have the potential of turning it into something interesting, and get the type of response that you deserve.
Now if you're still with me, let me get more specific. My comments on [brakets]
I have a nice life style, I'm self supporting, and enjoy life. [Cliche and redundant. Most guys somehow will assume that you're capable of supporting your self and that you actually do enjoy life. What this really says to me is that you are not enjoying yourself as a single person. Now I am talking here Perception, since what you say will not be explain if they simply click off ] I am an outgoing person, who enjoys the outdoors, [now, this should be a place to indicate what outdoor activities you like. The more different they are, the better, because it creates points of conversation] as well as a nice dinner setting. Laughter is spontaneous, as well as a quick smile. [Laughter should always be spontaneous, and a quick smile is trying to say the same thing, thus coming across as stiff] I'm not into the club scene,[no problem with not liking the clubs] more like long walks, long drives, and leisurely weekends [say more about this, as is the long walk comes across as a cliche]. Life is short, [cliche] why not enjoy it with someone you care about. I'm honest [I hope so why say it, it's like saying "trust me", which means then the opposite. , sincere, considerate, and warm hearted. It's a great life and I'm ready to share it!If you want to know more, let me know.
So get more stuff that is a conversation piece, reasons why someone wants to contact you and ask. Also, don't hide your photo behind things, you're an attractive woman, so flaunt that more.
So I hope this helps. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:22:05 AM | It would be a good idea to take this to the Profile Review forum.
A couple of things that strike me about the current one:
You use the word 'passion' in your name, but it seems to be lacking in the actual profile.
It is a bit dull right now.
Injecting some levity/humour into your presentation would make it a better read.
You don't mention the man anywhere. How will he recognize himself?
What would you do together that would make him want to spend time with you.
Profiles are about presenting ourselves in a way that would attract the type of man/woman that (we think) we are looking for.
Picture him in front of you & write it for him.
Your pics are fine. You're quite stunning.......but the words need more zip.
~mizz | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:42:30 AM | This is coming from someone who is looking to leave So Cal so take this with a grain of salt.
Your profile is just fine. I think aside from the cliche's that the above poster pointed out it is fine. I do agree that the occasional smoker thing will cut your numbers but I think most of the problem is that you are in LA. You need to stand out or you will be ignored by the masses. You are older than "normal" for the area that loves youth to the point of surgery. That means you have to work harder to overcome not only the smoking limitation but now the age.
If you want to attract the masses down here you have to be exciting and edgy. You have to be a whirlwind of fun which in most cases revolves around partying, drinking and alike. I am not saying all are like this but the masses are this way.
This simply cuts down your numbers.
40% male in Diamond Bar and only 36% are single (not married / separated). If you have any other requirements the numbers go down further. Even if you count the % of smokers in this population then you get the idea.
I would say concentrate more on real life dating and less on the online side. Online dating has too short of an attention span for the things you have to overcome from the perspective of your region. I am not saying give up, just put efforts into areas that may be more fruitful for you. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:11:22 PM | Take a chance and send emails to guys you find interesting. I'm sure you will get replies.
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:18:29 PM | | your a very pretty lady passionfortea...i glanced at your profile and I see absolutely nothing that is out there... | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:46:45 PM | You want me to be somewhat honest?
For someone with a name such as "PASSIONfortea", your profile lacks that --- passion.
Your entire profile is bland and reads as notes from a housewife by the sea. You like BBQ and walking with ICE CREAM? Are you searching for a man in the field of food distribution or a passionate lover?
And to be somewhat honest with you --(BRACE YOURSELF) --- you are a pretty lady but you seem to be stuck in a time warp when it comes to your look. It may be period of time when you felt comfortable about your image and you remain locked in it. Were you very happy in ....the mid 70s?
What is with the "CHER"-do circa 1974?
We are in 2008 -- update the look & possibly California men will come running back on your shoreline.
Hope this does not hurt your feelings but that was HONESTLY my first impression of your profile as a male. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:00:01 PM | Thanks for all the comments. Wow- some harder to take but all were said, I believe, in a helpful mode. I think cutting the hair is a little drastic, afterall I have to please myself , be happy with myself. But the comments on the cliche lingo, are great points and are well taken. I know I have a passion for life but did not realize it was not coming across in text.  | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:45:31 AM | OP, about your hair. If you like it the way it is, by all means, leave it that way. As long as it's healthy looking.
I can speak from experience though. I've had essentially the same hairstyle since high school. It has always been really long, like to the middle of my back. I've tried wearing it straight, layered, permed, high-lighted, rolled, curled with a curling iron, flat ironed, blown out, etc... But I keep going back to this because I can fix it in 10 min. or less. Anything else is just too much trouble for me. Last fall, I did have it cut to my shoulders and layered. Even though it was the same style, it felt updated a bit. And really, no other style I've tried looks right on me.
Personally, I think your hair looks fine if that's the way you want it. But if you DID want to update it a bit, you could probably have some layers cut in it or around your face and you'd be able to keep the length (if that's what you like) but give it a different look.
Krys | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:05:04 AM | I'm thinking So. CAl. guys don't want a woman over 45.
Maybe those who would have contacted you have already done so, or those who didn't put forth the effort at first now see you as having been on POF too long.
I no longer get any contacts from women, when at one point I was getting them every day. I think all the ones who would have contacted me already did so, and the others are like "Oh that guy is always on here. Pfftt.."
Even though I am just on for the forums now as I no longer contact any women. I just got tired of it going nowhere.
Both of those are the only things I can figure. Your profile seems fine to me. Maybe a little on the bland side, but you can fix that. And you look fairly attractive. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:30:04 PM | Hi OP, yes, I do see some weaknesses in your profile. The most glaring one is that you have not described the unique personality traits that you find most attractive in a man.
Some lesser problems would be that most of the words you have used to describe yourself are what some of us call "assumed givens", are are worthless as far as making someone unique. And the last line where you ask them to contact you, does more harm than good.
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:42:35 PM | I have a unique personality. I am a very passionate about being passionate. I live life to the fullest.
The problem with statements like the ones above is that they really do not say anything and in fact, because they are used so much, they tend to indicate the opposite. It's like the saying "Trust me." Yeah sure. So show, don't tell, have some fun in what you say about what you do and like to do. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:55:32 PM |
Some lesser problems would be that most of the words you have used to describe yourself are what some of us call "assumed givens",
Did you miss this part Outmind?
The problem with statements like the ones above is that they really do not say anything and in fact, because they are used so much, they tend to indicate the opposite. It's like the saying "Trust me." Yeah sure. So show, don't tell, have some fun in what you say about what you do and like to do.
Apparently I was not clear, your statement is true, worded the way you have it worded, and using the words you have used.
Funny, honest, kind, generous, sense of humor, loyal, trustworthy, etc. are literally worthless words to use as descriptors.
There are some however that DO point to ones uniqueness, some examples would be: Adventurous, high/low maintainance, introvert/extrovert, intense, shy, oldfashioned, geeky, etc. These words are in a COMPLETELY different class than the first ones I mentioned. Why you ask? Because not EVERYONE in general is attracted to them. They point to UNIQUENESS that the first set of "assumed gives" does not, because everyone wants them for the most part.
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:22:39 PM | I see graduate degree that scares me you are super smart. I have a A.S. yours tops mine.
Another thing that scares me is the number 18 and the word kids. I think of pain in the butt teens. I would answer only yes. | |
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| What's wrong with my profile?
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:39:45 AM | good morning Passion.. wow could Zen be more RUDE.....?????? THE GUY IS A PERFECT A**HOLE. IF I ever talked like that to a women, my very Scottish Grandmother would get out here grave and kick my butt. and zen,,, looking at you, granny could and should have kicked your butt.
There is a wonderfull thing called a mouse and the enter button, it comes with every computer. Zen ... learn to use it and , if you feel that you must critique!! move along.. next profile.. log off.. go and do what angry whimps do..
Passion.. if you ever get up to Canada, to be more specific,, Calgary, Alberta. I would honored to show you the city, the life this city has, and what a real Canadian made man would do... treat you as a very special guest, a fantastic lady. Please don't judge pof men from this mindless jelly fish.... there are far better men who would your viewpoint , and to poster of the " lose the cake Photo""
really.... everyone has a birthday, and cake is an "must do" i think you concentrate on the photot , and look at the smile, the eyes,,,, and NOT THE CAKE.
Thats all( i am now off my soapbox)
hold your head high..
Sincerely
old fashion romantic | |
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