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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:40:42 AM | Its a pretty frustrating experience, especially when you've asked whether or not the photo was recent. In my experience, I walked into the restaurant trying to go around an older man who was getting in my way ... I was looking for my date and was looking AROUND this balding, heavier set, pasty and wrinkling man. It turns out he was my date who, by the way, looked nothing like his picture! Well, I supposed if I walked a block back and squinted a bit, there would be some similarity. I told him that I didn't even recognize him and he said, "well, I'm pretty tired today so I don't quite look like my picture". I couldn't help to think whether this man thought that his "sparking" personality would overcome his lie, which I was open to, but that wasn't even existent. My guess would be that he thought that if he got a meeting with you in person, he could have a chance to convince you of his wonderfulness. In my book, you're already down a notch when you lie but then again, I would have never met him if he didn't. When he asked me about my dating experience so far, I did bring up the conversation that I did not respect a person who downright lied about their photos or profile (I was nice about it and didn't accuse him specifically about it so I was being general) and he wholeheartedly agreed. I guess in that position he didn't have any choice but to agree.
In the end, it was a waste of time for the both of us. Its like all advertising. The commercial gets you into the door but if the product doesn't reflect the advertising, I'm not buying. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:43:55 AM | Here's my best story on this one. It was a different site, the pic of the guy was quite attractive. The guy I met at the local bistro was definitely a different guy, but also physically attractive. He told me quite plainly that he had used his cousin's photo (from North Bay). He explained that he was an instructor at the local college and he didn't want his students to find out he was on a dating site. I was so taken aback, found it humorous and quite sad actually..... It didn't occur to me to ask what his cousin thought of it. His married cousin. I didn't ask what his cousin's wife thought of it either.
That's a good way to get nowhere. I told you he was definitely a different guy. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:45:19 AM | "if the photo was a lie, what else did he lie about?"
It is a pet peeve of mine as well. I always keep the photo current.
We all are visual people who are first attracted to someones look, then to what they say in their profile, then in emails & phone conversations. Why does someone put up a false image of themselves? There is someone out there for everyone, and every look. To be a phony and not show a current photo is to lie and waste not only the other person's time, but your own. I have been often disappointed when seeing that the person I have communicated with has used a photo that is a number of years old or 40 less pounds ago.
People,,be honest about yourself when putting up photos. THAT will lead to someone interested in what they first see, and then more interest coming when they learn the inner person. You are never going to change what someone physically desires in another, so not showing your true self will not lead to "oh, they are not what they showed me, but my goodness they are so great"! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:46:42 AM | I have to admit that I'm guilty of posting an old photo, as well as a recent one. I clearly state in the captions which is which. I've been asked why I post the old photo at all. In my case, it's because I believe the shot most clearly captures my personality. Yes, it's great to know what someone looks like, but I also enjoy seeing a photo that tells me something about who the person is inside.
And honestly, most of the men I meet tell me the photos don't do me justice anway. (Which, of course, every woman wants to hear.) Ironically, the only ones who've complained are the ones who either didn't post a photo at all, or had posted some old photos themselves (without disclosing that they were old). I don't really have an issue with someone using an older photo as long as they're honest about it and what may have changed in their appearance since the shot was taken. It's hard to put yourself out there and we all want to make the best first impression possible. Plus, online dating is time consuming enough without having to take and post new photos every few months. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:50:24 AM | | i was suprised with the first couple guys i met from here & how much they didn't look like the pics that they posted,so i learned to ask how current their picture was and if they could please share more! not to be superficial but misrepresenting yourself on an online dating site is BS and gives insight into your character! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:52:44 AM | I find your post, most interesting Shakes...because you not only post an older photo, but you choose to use the oldest in as your main pic!
To me...that is kinda like what I mentioned earlier...luring with the older photo...but covering the "fib" by also posting a newer one! ;)
I see NOTHING wrong with including an older pic in the secondary or private photos...it shows how well a person ages, how they change, etc. I change my hair like most do their underwear...so I am constantly updating photos! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:55:48 AM | Yes it happens on both side of the street! Women do it to men and men do it to women ! By the way my picture is me in reflection!
I recently drove a distance to meet a lady -picture inviting- with joy!
The day before i got there she informed me of a change she had done on her hairstyle not the same color - or facial features and weight on profile - boom a downer!
I went and enjoyed her company wasn't disappointed because she told me the last minute- had she not told me I would have been disappointed!Had she not told me I would have raised ----? when we meet up!
She and I talked about the change and I understood to a point?
Learned rule dig a little deeper as to the persons - profile and pictures!
Don't always judge a book by its cover! Nor a person by its picture--- beauty is only skin deep!JMHO
 the world ain't perfect! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:01:13 AM | When I first started online dating (4 years ago), I had recently separated from my husband, who kept our computer (my
teenage son was still living at home with him). I had an opportunity to scan 2 pictures of me alone, before I left. There weren't
a lot of recent pictures of me, anyway, as I am usually the family photographer. And I really wasn't comfortable with the idea of
posting a pic with my kids in it. So I had 2 pictures, one taken in 1999, the other in 1982. I started with posting the most recent
picture, which was more honest. But every site I was on, people kept asking for more pictures. And they'd be upset that I didn't
have more. So I posted the earlier picture, just to stop the constant demand for more pictures. I start chatting with this guy on
the Island & he says "Are you really 44, you sure don't look it?" I tell him yes, but then I remember that there are 2 pictures on
that site. "Which picture are you looking at?" I ask him. "The one in the black shirt". I explained it to him & made sure to send
him the other picture. When we finally met in person, I discovered that he didn't look a lot like his picture either, because he's
gained about 40 pounds. Poetic justice, I suppose.
I have lots of new pictures now (my S/O is a really shutterbug, just like me, LOL), but I kept the 1999 one. I think you are right
HarleyKat~ seeing how a person has changed, is not a bad thing. As long as there are some current ones. Or if you don't have
current ones yet, tell us & then work on getting some. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:01:28 AM | | Thanks for the heads up, harleykat. I'm brand new to this site. When I uploaded my photos it looks like they automatically chose my older photo as the primary. Didn't realize that was the case. Just went in and changed it. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:16:31 AM |  No problem, Shakes! :)
Michaelann...I agree...it's a good thing! (Well, usually!) LOL I think I have aged well...LOL...so it is in my case! LOL
I understand not having a photo readily available the second you sign on to this site or another. But with webcams being super cheap, most cell phones having a camera, or heck...just go buy a disposable and have them developed to a disk...there is just no excuse for not having or making, a recent photo.
I hear all of the exuses! LOL
Like you...I am more often the photographer than the subject...and what's worse, I am NOT photogenic, at all! Blah! LOL So when a camera IS in my face, I tend to develop severe allergies! LOL | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:28:04 AM | I keep my pictures recent and as real as possible in the hopes that I will be a pleasant surprise for whoever I choose to meet.
I hope for the same although I don't always expect it. For the most part, if someone's picture is recent and clear I have always been able to tell who that person is when I saw them.
As far as the webcams go....I'm not sure I want to go THAT far. It's one thing to have to get dressed, fix my hair etc. for a date or even for my pictures but most of the time when I'm online I'm in my PJ's or sweats, hair is up or I just woke up etc.
That would take the whole convienience out of this! I might as well go out to a bar or club!
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:37:57 AM | I was meeting a guy at a restaurant one time and when I got there he was at least 150-200 pounds heavier than his picture. He too said he had gained a few pounds since the pic was taken...but that much weight is just not a 'few pounds'.
Anyho....when I realized it was him and that he had so grossly misrepresented himself, I walked up to him and said 'Since you lied about what you look like, I lied about wanting to have dinner with you.' Turned around and walked out.
I understand peoples weight fluctuating...but to down right send pictures that look nothing like them, is a bit ridiculous. Obviously they don't feel good about themselves if they feel the need to hide what they really look like.
I'll say this too though...I used to have a picture up that at the time was maybe about 2 weeks old. At the time it was the only one of 3 pictures I had of me. But I had a male friend (that I've known for years) come across it and he sent me a message and he was like 'I can tell it's you in the pic and you do look awesome in it...but then again it really doesn't look like you'. I asked him what he meant and he just commented that it was an awesome picture of me, but that's not what I really look like on a day-to-day basis. Kinda a back handed compliment. ROFL.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:48:36 AM | even when people arent misleading on purpose, I find photos can be notoriously deceptive.
Face shots and funny angles are the worst. Have to say tho, as far as females go, I've been more often pleasantly surprised than felt deceived. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:00:42 AM | | Well, like I said, I this wasn't a matter of just using and old photo or putting on a few pounds since then. This was a different person than in the pic. And, he lied about it to my in advance of meeting and to my face. Granted the pics on POF are pretty small, but you can tell when the eyes, ears, mouth, hairline and physique are different. So, it's not that he appeared to look different, it's that he wasn't honest about it. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:12:27 AM | This was my MAIN concern when I first started online dating. And low and behold it has never happened to me and I've met dozens of guys. However, I have had them lie about their age, having kids, not exactly being divorced, being separated, and still living with their wife. The most common deceptions I encounter time and time again is lying about their height and getting back into the dating world when the ink on their divorce papers isn't even dry.
Men believe you will fall in love with their winning/lying personality and not care about the rest...what a waste of everyone's time. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:21:41 AM | I have to agree with (ultra23man)...Woman spend huge amounts of money on Glam Pics...With enough war paint, lighting and poses "you can make a rhino look pretty"...
Im sorry girls, "We men go through it, too"...
I feel a full body shot should be required on any profile...That would sure weed out a few of the problems we all encounter... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:27:43 AM | | I've been to three POF parties. Before hand I check the party list to see who will be showing up. Normally they have fifty people on the list or more. And you know what! No one looks like their picture posted! I should know. Because when I go to those parties I can recognize but a few, that had their name on the sign up list! Really! After that experience I don't date men from the Internet lately. Internet dating is such a fantasy land. Fun place to flirt but can't take it serious! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:31:44 AM | I just love my digital camera lots, and lots of photos. They change regularly for those who like to just look at pictures.
It all depends on what i have been up to in the last month, tournament, horseback riding, paintballing and the summer has just started.
As to misrepresenting too bad, you should at least be honest about your looks since it is what people do see.
If the person doesnt like what they see then they can move on. | |
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