| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:36:46 PM | Why would somebody do stupid s*** like posting old photos or one's that aren't even themselves when eventually they are going to be found it. My pictures are me..nothing special and I take a terrible pictures. I figure if somebody likes my pictures on here then they aren't very picky....LOL And that is a good thing | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:46:27 PM |  Like I said, I have posted my stories...which have included men that had black hair in the photograph end up with totally gray and not full heads of hair, less (years less), etc. I won't name names but their is one guy that amazes me. He has current pictures of his kids on his phone, but has like a 10 year old picture posted. I do like hair on men, but the point is, hiding behind a hat, you can't see what someone looks like.
The thread is about photos, but as I rarely drink, I can honestly say that I haven't had any horror stories with my date getting drunk. I think that my not drinking keeps them from over doing it. Drinking is something I discuss before I go out with someone. That is on my checklist...
I know I love to see a man smile, men smiling in photos opens up their face. One of the sexiest thing a man can wear
I do think that if you shave your head, why can't you get a friend with a phone that has a camera to take a photo? Get a disposable camera and have the pics developed online or get the cd. There are so many inexpensive ways to get pictures now days. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:47:44 PM |
verygreeneyez - I'm not saying anyone's wounded. I'm just curious about what other people's experiences have been and why people do this kind of thing in the first place. Ultimately, however, it usually means you've both wasted each other's time.
I don't believe I referenced you or this thread when I mentioned the someone being "wounded" ~ I was speaking of myself (in the real world):
Likewise in the world around me that isn't online, I don't waste my time asking "why" the lie was told ~ I completey disengage from that person. So in the end, am I wounded? Not likely ~ but I have wounded others with my hasty retreat. Too bad ~ lie to me once, his/her problem ~ lie to be twice.....my problem. JMO
It was merely a thought, as I stated. My silly attempt to engage a more in-depth (or whatever) discussion. No need to defend your thread, I just was hoping for something more than these threads produce: same old answers over and over and over to the same question....no one ever gets to the root of the problem or the ridiculousness of it.
~OT~ It is a waste of time. And a testament of true character, lack of self-esteem and a slew of other things. JMO  | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:53:26 PM | Why would somebody do stupid s*** like posting old photos or one's that aren't even themselves when eventually they are going to be found it
maybe b/c with a pic nooone contacts them... so they are already rejected in life.. perceived...
and maybe... they know when they meet up with someone they will be rejected (subconciously)... so by using a false pic .. they can hide the real reasons theyll be rejected behind a perceived false rejection..(all subconcious)
as for the old pic and the new pic.. the how i used to look and the reality of how they look now?...hmm well why anyone wants to have pics up that look like they are the parent to their younger selves.. either men or woman... makes for a bad first impression..... it makes them look much older in my opinion.... i think why have you got a pic of your mum or dad up?
it also shows personality traits...
as for everyone wanting to be accepted for who they....... are inside.... and not judged on looks.... weight... etc....
when they know theyre pic isnt going to attract anyone . and i think its a desperate attempt.. of them... thinking they are really nice inside.. personality etc... but reality.... character is the true inner self... not personality.. if first point is fake/liar etc.. then there is nothing inside of them that will attract...
self delusion is very common....
i agree with the posters saying at least 3 pics....... i look differ in differ pics...
most people do...
smiles/peace | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:53:53 PM | I've met a few men from online and have never had that experience--most have looked the same or better. There was one man who was much smaller than I had imagined (think mini-me), but I was new at the game and didn't assume he had lied. I tried to be nice and accept that he had a distorted perception of himself.
I have other pictures (including the obligatory full-body shot) to send upon request. I have no interest in meeting someone who would not be interested in me. I've had people say I look very different from my photos (meaning worse?) and others who have said I look better in person. Go figure... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:59:14 PM | Yes, most times, the men look way better in real life! There are occasions where men posted pics that were deceptive. In my experience, it was the very thin ones who used angles that somehow made them look like they were built like linebackers.
But eh, what's the point in getting angry about it? Just go in expecting for the person to look vaguely like the photo, and either be pleasantly surprised, or laugh at the total difference in looks. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:24:45 PM |
No need for push up bra, im fine with there natural state.
You do know what happens to breasts in their "natural" state that have never seen the benefits of a bra, right? I'm talking real breasts without silicone "enhancements." Anyone who's larger than an A cup is going to have problems. Wait till she's 50 and has to lift them out of the way to get a pedicure... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:34:59 PM | oh yeah - virtually every man I have connected with on this site has told me the same story, about meeting a woman who was at least 10 years older than her photo, or at least 30 pounds heavier than her photo.
I haven't experienced that myself - the men I have met in person look enough like their photo to be recognizeable and their photos were at most a couple of years old and not much had changed in that time.
I think you can ask if the photo is recent, and if they affirm that it is, and you meet them and clearly it isn't, well - either you are willing to overlook it because of their sparkling personality  or you politely excuse yourself with or without explanation. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:49:13 PM | I would say that about 75% of the women I have met for a cuppa I couldn't recognise in real life from their photo. And it's never a pleasant surprise. I find that the initial shock of seeing them so different affects the whole conversation negatively. So, it'snot just the guys who do it.
The other thing I have a "bug" about is when women say they are "average" in size. What's average these days? Some women seem to think that size 24 is "average"!! Perhaps there should be a weight question - that at least can give a person a much better idea of what to expect! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:19:12 PM | I never met anyone without alot of mail exchange ~~ anymore
so if the pic is off some ~ you are still someone I'd love to know better.
It's that simple ~
Men wear hats ~ and underpants , preferable boxers,~ some "boys" don't wear neither.
It's not so much a matter of concealing but protecting, containing and being properly dressed for a person your age.
Dance | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:33:58 PM | | I think both genders are guilty of lying about their age - posting photos of themselves as much younger people. From there, the lies diverge -- women lie about their weight (too much of it) and men lie about their height and hair (lack of both). | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:07:37 PM |
Has anyone else had this kind of experience? What did you do?
Serious pet peeve of mine. One guy showed up and I did NOT recognize him...more gray hair and about 50 extra lbs. Oh...and about 5 more yrs! Asked him twice if it was him...couldn't believe it. And to top it off he was cheap! Taco Bell...ok...lunch date and me being pressed...but you can't even buy my $3 lunch???? And taking napkins, sauce packets...OMG...! When he called to tell me how fun the date was I was like um...not so much on my end...but thanks for playing!!
Another guy showed up--he looked like he had been shortened...after sitting there for a minute, realized that the picture he sent was of him before he had had a heart attack 2 yrs ago...apparently it aged him badly. I finished my coffee, and said I needed to go meet my friend for a movie...gone.
One gentleman showed up and he had to have been at least 100 lbs heavier than the pictures he sent me. I'm a big girl and my pictures show that...and I had been heavier at the time we met. When I asked him WTH had happened he said oh...that...I've gained a few haven't I? I said uh...yes...and not sure why you lied...thanks but I'm gone...and left.
I just recently posted a picture of myself...short hair and all. I don't have a problem putting up pictures that are current. Why not? Most of us are visual creatures and if we are taking the time out to read a profile, why NOT have a picture that's recent? Me seeing you at your prom 20 yrs ago is not going to negate the fact that now you are bald, 50 lbs heavier or whatever...it just doesn't!
If people would spend more time being honest about what they look like, instead of thinking "oh if they see how wonderful I am, they'll forgive me for lying about my looks", I'm wondering if more of us wouldn't be spending so much time fishing! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:07:37 PM | Yes, it happens.
I would like to think I look like me... but, since I'm biased...
In all honesty, I'm probably fatter and less pretty in person.
the giggleparts - Truth is like lying... only with more truth in it. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:00:32 PM | | I have had a few do the misleading thing on me. Sometimes to look much younger and get attention, waste my time emailing & again if I agree to meet. Sometimes the picture looks much slimmer than his current weight. Abt 3 had gained 80+ lbs. SO, I make a point of telling them I thought I was dealing with the person in the picture which was a lie to me which I dont appreciate as well as the round trip to the coffee spot is all a waste of my time which he had no right to do. I left. He thinks o-weight or not, he can lie & get a coffee date etc. I left to cancel his theory & bcuz I was angry re time waste! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:34:23 PM | | I've come to the conclusion....that anyone I meet ......... will look 10 years older than their picture.... if at all .... And be the opposite of what they have posted........ I guess we all have dreams............... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:39:58 PM | What are people thinking when they do this? "Well, I've put on 75 pounds and lost half my hair since that picture was taken, but maybe they won't notice, or if they do they will find my personality so charming that they won't care that I'm so unattractive". Yeah, sure...
I once drove all the way up to Phoenix to meet someone I'd been talking to online for a few weeks. While I'm sitting out in front of the Phx Art Museum waiting for her to show up, someone comes up to me and says "are you Gregor?". I look up to see someone who does not even look vaguely familiar and who I would never have given a second look to in real life. This is my date. I'm polite, and endure the next few hours, but it is really uncomfortable. Even her personality is nothing like the person I was corresponding with. There is just zero chemistry for me, not to mention feeling scammed. She keeps nagging me to come back to her place, but I am just sooo not interested, and I fall back on my trusty excuse of having to get back to feed my dog. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:44:08 AM | Here's a factor that I'm not sure if it's been mentioned. I can only use myself as the example so to not offend or make anyone feel as though I'm pointing them out. Yes, I'm 40 years old turning 41 here in another month, but I look way younger then my age. I think its from nutrition to being active all my life and doing extreme jobs and extreme sports when I was younger. I have never smoked (which adds years onto a bodies look) and I also grew up in Alaska where there is/was practically no pollution for 11 years. I take horrible pictures and so it's funny that people tell me that they are surprised when they see me in person.. that I look thinner and just better. I do not wear makeup, unless you include eyeliner and mascara and I love sun block! I keep stress at a minimum in my life and I'm always laughing about something. Meditation is the key and I feel that all people are amusing and just plan awesome! Do you think that makes a difference in the way a person looks? I've met some people in my practice that are in their young 30's,. but their bodies look way older due to life. So, in a way it's like taking each case differently.
True there are folks out there (both men and women) that lie about something and that’s what makes dating awesome! Instead of an arranged marriage where you have no idea.. you get to know that person and see what makes them tick and if you are compatible. Would I date someone who lies? No, but it's interesting to see how far some will go and all you can do is laugh. :D Cheers. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:52:04 AM | I forgot to add, Why do folks take such long distant shots for their full body, but you can't see their face and half the time their bodies? It is the window to the soul.. Or they are winter shots with a cap on, sunglasses and a huge jacket! Hmm, nothing like the banner that says, "Red Flag," all over that.
I would also say, I'm learning more about myself on these interactions. So, "Thank YOU," to all the hidders and not so honest posters out there. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:56:02 AM |
Has anyone else had this kind of experience? What did you do?
I have had this happen to me once, but most of the guys I've met have had accurate pictures. The guy who did it to me, I thought was a real charmer, and quite good looking from his photos. When he showed up at our coffee date, I was totally taken aback. He looked at least fifty pounds heavier. And, how do I say this politely, since the photo he gave me had been taken, he had developed a severe thyroid problem, which was reflected in the size of his eyes. Huge! Bulbous. However you want to describe them. Textbook case, and I diagnosed him on the spot. AND he was a low talker, which made having a conversation difficult. But mainly I was just dissapointed that he couldn't share with me a recent photo, because in the end, it's about deception and lies.
What did I do? Nothing. I was polite for an hour during coffee, and let it fizzle out after that.
It's very frustrating. I know my pictures are not only accurate, but really look like me. I've been recognized several times in my community from my profile pics. I expect the same truthful depiction from those that I'm dating. A man who is lying with his photos may get one date out of me, but only one. Thank goodness for the initial coffee date, is all I can say. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:34:11 PM | Oh my gosh! The exact same thing happened to me the first time I went to meet someone from this site. I was blown away. I handled it the only way I knew how.
I was just as rude to him as he was inconsiderate of me. I told him I didn't appreciate it
and I left him standing there very perplexed.(Or so he pretended to be) Then he calls me on my cell and tells me that he works with mental patients and that I apparently need some help. You've got to be really careful. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:48:37 PM | I am so NOT photogenic...
I look like ass in pictures...
I've been told quite a few times that I look 1000x better in person....
Its always good to surprise people that way.
And I met a few people just like me.
they looked "ok" in pictures, and "OMG-youlooksohotexcusemewhileIdrool" in person... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:20:11 PM | Well, the gal I'm with now originally had up a pic from 15 years ago...when she was scrawny as a fencepost...a fisherman woulda thrown her back!!
But I liked her sense of humor and figured, what the heck, meet her and see if she's as funny in real life, I can always enjoy another friend...and then I met her...and I thought, wow, that doesn't look like her pic at ALL, and initially it put me off. Plus she kinda looked like someone I had previously not enjoyed working with and that wasn't a good memory either...But as we were talking something she said just CLICKED...That put her in a whole different category...the right word & attitude at the right time can mean more than anything.
5 months later, we're still together...who sez ya can't find love on POF? | |
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