| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:39:53 AM | | Pictures aren't accurate representations of what people really look like anyway, though. How many times have you walked into the bureau of motor vehicles, renewed your driver's license, walked out the door, and said "that picture f*cking looks NOTHING like me", even though it was taken 5 minutes ago? | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:55:06 AM | Arkansas is not as populated as many states & very often people from outlying rural areas relocate to the larger cities. That creates a statewide social network of sorts, which I love. One fella that approached me had his age listed as 50 & I noticed he is from a town that I happen to have dear friends from. I asked him if he knew this person & that person. He didn't know the one person who should have been in classes with him all through school & who also happened to be one of the football "stars" of their local team. Now who forgets a person like that??? When I asked him how he missed knowing that person, his response was that he is actually 57 & would have told me eventually, but he looks so much younger than he is he decided to post his age as 7 years younger. He added that everyone does it on all the sites.
My email response was "Uh Oh!" & I left it at that. Why lie about something so stupid as that? If something so minor is worth lying about I couldn't trust anyone on anything really serious & if there's no trust there simply is no relationship of any sort; not even friends. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 9:52:06 AM | | man that happened to me once...thats y im skeptical to these kinda sites....but wat idid in that situation was straight up ask them y the pic was dfferent and if it sounded like an honest answer id try and work with it and if there was no sparks then there was no sparks...wat more can ya do? | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:22:16 PM | A couple years ago after corresponding and talking on the phone with someone, we met. She described her car perfectly, but I thought the person getting out was her mom, coming to tell me why her daughter couldn't make it. Nope, it was her.
I try to post the most brutally honest pics I can. Anyone who thinks they are going to meet Harrison Ford or Angelina Jolie online is in need of some serious head-shrinkage. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:11:03 PM | Well, someone had felt that way about me - and my picture was ME and RECENT (within a couple of weeks recent). It was a full body shot, but not close up. and I think maybe he didn't realize how great the age difference was until he saw me in person. Florescent lights in a parking lot probably didn't help much. Oh well.
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:48:56 PM | | Funny you should bring up this subject. I just had it happen to me this weekend. This woman must have had a pic at least 10 or more years younger as she did not look even close to her real life self. As she invited me to her place and we were going to spend the day together , i knew right off the git go that we were in no way compatable. I'm normally a very considerate person but after about a half hour i told her i had to go. There was no connection there what so ever. People who put up either old pics or pics of someone else are just setting themselves up for a big fall when their date shows up and then realizes that the pic was so far off and bails on them. By her reaction to me saying i was leaving i could tell that she probably had been through this before. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:09:21 PM | I was on one pay site that routinely used male & female models to entice you to upgrade memberships.
At least though the people you met weren't lying about their gender.
remember boys & girls always demand to chat via webcam before hooking up,any one bluffing
will quickly fold. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:11:36 PM | tallblue, The woman w/ whom I am most comfortable knowing as friend, lover, and entrusted fiancé had a few pics of herself posted w/ her profile before we met. These were all full body shots, either for her self-posing or were taken of her in action w/ a young child being mischievous behind her back. It was this pic that had me add her as a "Favorite" after a few of her Pof Forums posts first caught my attention ...and her profile words 'rang true' for me as well. She was not ISO the perfect man, but one who was perfect for her.
It turned out that the pic that I liked most, as it reminded me of a painting that I once had in mind ...and still care to make someday, was her most recent. Her face is visible, but she's not looking into the camera. As I've gotten to know her, though ...up close and personal, it's still true for the story of who she is. Photos, no matter how old these might be, still 'speak for who someone is' beneath all that will someday decompose underground. My lady has more wrinkles than she felt comfortable for sharing w/ me at first, and I will admit that I wish that she didn't have these either, but it's the mind and heart beneath these are what matter most to me. She's definitely got these to share w/ me like no woman that I've had the pleasure to truly know before. Bottomline: Despite what came w/ her hard-earned wisdom for life, she's proven to be sexier IRL w/ me, besides what else makes her a keeper for me as the man.
Visuals are merely a part of the overall equation for finding and having a true love. If you've not yet figured this out, I wish you the best of luck.
I recall an 'on-line' woman who listed her age as 40-something on a site that allows nude photos, but it was a 20-some y/o female's tush that was presented as a pic for 'her' ...and I first emailed asking about this amazing physical phenomena. I don't recall getting an answer from 'her' for what I believed possible then, and it's likely because I recognized what I did for the 'discrepancy' and said so.
I've since met a woman from Pof who's nearly a decade older than that 'siren'...and she might have more wrinkles to show for her face to start here w/ her choice of pics ...or ones other than the one taken by myself that makes her appear more blonde than she is currently, but these did not scare me off for her as the person beneath. Photos are merely a part of someone's "overall equation"
We met and 'hit it off' wonderfully beyond the photos previously taken, even if she opted to use one that I took of her in "night vision" when we first met, and she looks like a serious blonde in it. No such thing, right? My SO has since cut her red hair short ...as I asked her to do for my less fettered breathing next to her. She also agreed that her longer hair wasn't a necessity to her ...and she's since posted what I didn't take for a photo of her w/ such, and since shared w/ me that she's received word from a man ...who she considers to be an on-line male friend, that she looks better w/ it, even I know that it's her smile and eyes that do too for why it does. Long hair or short, or whatever color she chooses to dye it ..even if I prefer her natural, I'll be damned if she doesn't also have a tush that's a far better sight than many women who are still in their 20s have, and I'm not complaining for this fact either. Pics are important ...and most recent are the best to have and project, but it is far more important to be who you are in-person than what your pics might project. Get beyond these for others besides yourself, and you just might find who you're ISO for yourself. | |
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Posted: 7/7/2008 11:19:46 PM | I've had this happen to me countless times... So much so that I can tell by people's photo's (angles n such) if they are trying to hide something.
Never understood it. Physical attraction is genetic and biological. Why set yourself up for rejection... just be honest. Sure don't put a pic up of you when you just woke up in the morning. But if your overweight, have scars, balding, or whatever don't hide it... it is only going to amplify your insecurity when the person doesn't ever call you again. PERIOD | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:34:16 PM | I met 2 ladies from another site, the first had a tight head-shot only, where she was looking DIRECTLY at the camera. This was to disguise the fact she had a big double-chin to go with the rest of her body, which was very overweight. She had listed her body type as 'average', and I had come across her profile using the search-able parameters which specified body type, amongst other things. I was polite, but inwardly pissed-off I'd allowed myself to be deceived.
The second was a lady who had a fuzzy, mid-distant photo on her profile. Well, when she turned up she was at LEAST a good ten years older than she stated on her profile and don't anybody tell Harpo Marx she had his teeth! She wasn't smiling in the picture and I soon saw why, her teeth were stained and yellow and she had a grin Les Patterson would have been proud of.
Again I was polite, but nobody appreciates being lied to, and misrepresenting yourself to a potential date is lying to them. I'm sorry, your wonderful personality is not going to cut it if we've already established you're a stranger to the truth. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:27:20 AM | I've met one who said he gained a little weight since his pictures; since he was 6'2", I figured he could carry it well. When we met, it was more like 150 lbs - he said I looked better than my pics (how do you respond back, lol?)!
I also know a female on here that I went to school with who put her age as 8 yrs younger because she says she looks & attracts younger; too bad that's after the plastic surgery on her nose, chin, breasts, lipo/tummy tuck, etc., lol! I would hate to see the reaction if she met someone & had kids as they'd look totally different! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 12:28:19 PM | It's too bad we don't have a way of notifying each other about the men/women who do this. Could save us lots of time. Like, if we could email all of the men/women in our state to warn them somehow.
I have only been on POF for 4-6 weeks or so. I've gone out with about 8 men from here. Only ONE has been nicer looking than his photo. The others, I gave the benefit of the doubt to cuz they didn't sway too much from the pic, but you could see the pic was obviously old.
But this last one...this one took the cake!
Profile pics showed a very handsome guy with a great body and a ripped 6-pack as it included one in a swimsuit. We spoke on the phone before meeting, and during the call he told me the size of his pecs, calf's, and all the other areas that people who work out are concerned with. Sounded good, and reinforced the pictures, Says on the phone also that he dresses nicely, will make me chase him cuz I'll want him so badly, and that he's easy on the eye.
So...we meet...and I didn't recognize him at all. He must have been dyslexic cuz the 35" waist he said he had HAD to have been at least 53". Big bald spot on the back of the head, where there wasn't one in the picture. Dressed in very old and worn khaki short, a tank top that hung down so low on the chest you could see his boobies, and revealed all of the thick black hair which you were sure also stretched to the back and other places there shouldn't be hair as well. Over the tank top is a dirty button shirt. Doesn't smoke, but teeth are more yellow than a smokers teeth. Wore glasses, and when he took them off his eyes were crossed (no glasses in the photos, and eyes weren't crossed).
IMMEDIATELY I was turned off. I felt deceived. I felt like he thought I was either blind or stupid and wouldn't NOTICE. Complete and total turnoff. I'm a very busy person who works full time plus has a small business I do on the side from home. I blew off doing my business work to meet him.
And for the gentleman who made mention of people who are upset about this only caring about a person's looks...it goes beyond that. If a person isn't going to be honest amount themselves, they won't be honest about other things. Additionally, if the person really doe s think they look the way they describe themselves, then they could possibly have illusions requiring some form of treatment. Frankly, I'm not afraid to admit that looks are important to a degree. My photo wasn't posted originally...and everyone who contacted me asked for one right off the bat. Human nature tells us that we have to be attracted to someone to go out with them...then need to remain attracted to them to go out with them a second time. So I guess we are all shallow.
**this is my first post in the forums. I hope I didn't break any rules!* | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 2:06:18 PM | unfortunately, the reality of it is, even if the picture is of someone else, or is of themselves a few years back, or they have had a drastic change to there appearance, in the end it doesnt really matter, society and people in general are so skeptical of anything that doesnt scream 100% truth nowadays, even if it is honestly you, you are going to be labeled a liar or a cheat right off the bat.
Im 33 now, but if i showed you a picture of me at 18-21 you would say there is no way im the same person in that picture, i was a chubby little fat kid, but after seeing some health problems some of my overweight relatives had as i was growing up i took it upon myself to lose weight, and be who i am now...........people change, before you judge someone ask them why before you cut there heads off. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:12:17 PM |
Im 33 now, but if i showed you a picture of me at 18-21 you would say there is no way im the same person in that picture, ..people change, before you judge someone ask them why before you cut there heads off.
At age 33, would you post a picture of yourself here from when you were 18-21?
The point is, the picture is supposed to be a fair representation of who you are today...not who you were when you were in high school, and not who you were when you were at your best - unless now is your best. If you posted pictures from age 18-21 you would be deceiving everyone who speak to. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:23:29 PM | | I saw a guy on lava 5 yrs ago. Total cutie posing with Minnie Mouse. His profile stated he was 34. We got to chatting and he flashed me a recent pic. The person in the recent photo looked at least 10 yrs older. I saw him online 6 months ago. Same pic - only now he is 36. Why do I age 5 yrs and he only has to age 2? LOL. Too funny. Some people have to realize misrepresentation is a bullet in the foot - not a leg up... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:26:08 PM | | Did it Happen!!!! it was horrible. i drove over a hundred miles because me and this girl had talked on the phone for like hours every day for weeks. I wanted to just get ahold of her and have a relationship. The funny thing was she had sent me a ton of pics and she looked smoking hot in all of them. I got there and it was a shocker. Overweight big times, massive breast, and just unfortunately very unattractive. I didn't act like an ass though. I just pretended like she was fine and then excused myself and drove my dumb ass home. It's kind of sad because i feel a little sad that looks meant that much. She had a great heart! Maybe i'm the jerk! | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:59:28 PM | | It definately works both ways. Its very dissapointing to have a great connection either online chatting or on the phone and when the time comes to finally meet and they are nothing like they look like or they is `more ` to them than what they said they were. I dont know why people would lie when the eventuallity of getting together one day in the future is a possbility . I m honest about my pics,location and age and i expect the same in return . Is that too much too ask for ? | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:16:19 PM | | I only have pics of chest up on my profile, but that's because I don't have any full body shots. Any pics I take, I have to take myself. That being said, my profile clearly says I'm bbw. I don't try to hide that fact. Not everyone has a webcam so they can't always show you what they look like (I do, but some don't). I try to be as honest as possible, and when I meet people in person, I almost always hear "wow, you really look like your photos". | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:42:02 PM | | We should all look like our photos. I feel that posting old photos and not at least listing the date of the photo is a lie. So a person with old photos is trying to start a relationship based on a lie. I was on match.com 3 years ago and see some of the exact same photos. Honesty is the best policy. That's my 2 cents. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:44:14 PM |  Yes Ive had this happen a few times, Granted the camera does make people look slightly different then they do in person, but when there is a drastic difference there is somthing wrong, I dont understand why Men / women would do that, I guess either they figure they will never really meet someone in person or that when they do meet someone that by the time that happens they will have the one they are meeting wrapped around their finger that the person wont even care... WRONG.. when I meet someone that is totally different then the person I see in their pictures on line, thats it, they will not see me again... Thats why I ask if they have a webcam, if they do , then I ask to see them , thats one sure way of seeing who they are before you waste your time and Gas..
Good Luck in future meetings
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:54:09 PM | Hi there,
I have never done this, but I have shown up for dates with people (actually I met them on another site) and they didn't look a whole lot like their picture...the frustrating thing is that I really enjoyed their conversation, their charm, their wit..you name it...but, I was often dismayed at their outright deception....and they knew what they had done....
I have dated people of all sizes, shapes, religions, races....but what I won't date is someone who is deceptive right off the bat....no matter how good looking, successful, or intelligent they may be...
My opinion... | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:54:37 PM | | It actually did happen to me. I was waiting at this bar\restaurant for this guy I met on line. I saw his pic but the great thing was he never saw mine. As this guy approached and asked if I was "so and so" I said no I am sorry I am waiting for my husband. He stayed around for a while and was asking other women who they were. I left right after that and laughed all the way home. | |
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| Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:27:51 PM | | I've never had a bad experience with a person that didn't look like their photo. Sometimes the photos might be a month old, and people change within that time, maybe a few pounds here and there, or they cut their hair, their makeup is different, or their photos are taken with crappy cell phone cams (which are typically off color and blurry). Myself, I need to update my photo as my hair is a little fuller and I have sideburns but otherwise I look the same (my wicked tan might be fading a bit, lol). | |
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