| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:08:06 AM |
However I stand firm that it's not a teacher's job to punish a child in such a way. Or anyone else's for that matter.
I have some doubts about this. Physical punishment, that's a no-no, I agree. But other types of punishment (and I don't think feeding a child who won't eat is a punishment) are acceptable. Can a coach give a time-out, or left a child out of the team, or a teacher to give extra work? I think so.
When we give them responsibility over our children, some measure of authority is also given. Of course, this authority is to be used correctly. Besides, I think that it's a good thing for a teacher to CARE about his/her charges enough as to give personalized attention (and yes, to punish bad behavior), instead of always taking the easy way of saying "not my problem" and send them to the principal. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 2:36:27 AM | flwrchld81,
I thought your jike was funny..(BTW duct tape is stronger than masking tape!)
I don't understand why everyone is so upset...I mean it sounds like the majority of people posting don't have kids that misbehave...ever!!
Keep up the good work...a kick in the ass is what is missing nowadays for some kids.
BTW...wasn't this thread about a lady complaining about the kids who trashed her office...while left in a unsupervised "playroom"? | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:11:05 AM | | rock, again I agree. 'Such things' was in reference to taping kids to chairs. I'm not too keen on the spoon feeding, but the taped to chairs is obviously what's set my hair on fire. My son got in trouble in class all the time last year (Kindergarten). I think he was only sent to the office once and that was because he was outta control. His teacher was able to correct his behavior AND have a good relationship with him and didn't have to resort to taping him to chairs, threatening it, or turning it into a joke. I'm in no way saying that it's not a teachers place to discipline at all. I have backed my son's teacher up on more than one occasion and the principal as well. I'm not that pain in the ass mom who thinks her kids can do no wrong. Trust me, I KNOW they can! lol | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:46:31 AM | 1. To all you people who are NOT parents STFU. You have NO idea how difficult it is to be a parent.
2. You can help control certain behaviours in children but you cannot control them as people. Can you control another adult except yourself?
3. Although I agree with you all that children need consequences to their actions... there also needs to be consistency in them. If a parent or parents do not follow through with the threat or punishment then the child will continue the unwanted behaviour.
Meh... my 2 cents for what it's worth... wasting pennies... | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:18:04 PM | | KG I am glad for you. No one can know another's path so how can we jugde it. Unsafe behavior is the only thing I would correct and I think that it should be corrected in a way that impowers the child to make the right choices with or without you. Have you ever read real boys it is a great book for parenting males. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:31:03 PM | rawrrr?
Did you know some kids a starved for compression and need to be wrapped? SID is on the up rise and a lot of those kids need "deep touch" that comes from wrapping or putting a cord on their chairs they can push against it calms them down and lets them focus on the lesson. Sensory problems are treated also by putting weighted vest or lap buddies on children. Offering heavy work making them push against the wall are ways to get a child to calm down | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:36:07 PM |
1. To all you people who are NOT parents STFU. You have NO idea how difficult it is to be a parent.
*Sigh*. And that ^^^ seems to effectively sum up the prevailing attitude here in the Single Parents forum. Or should one assume that every single parent here is only looking to start a relationship with another single parent and no one else? (I'm only assuming that's Diggy's dating criteria, since non-parents' input is apparently less than valuable according to her, after all.) *Sigh*. This forum gets to be less-enjoyable a read every day. And here some of us are, just trying to learn from others' experiences.  | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:52:14 PM | | vvendy...so the book is called "real boys"? I've never heard of that but I will look it up. I'm always on the look for parenting resources as well as ECE resources. I figure that if something helps me be a better parent, it's worth passing along to all of my daycare parents as well. Thanks for the advice!!! | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:25:45 PM | | Yes Real Boys is by William Pollack PhD. It is a NYT best seller and advocates, "Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood" it is published by Owl Books. It is not too dry to read. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:44:11 AM | | oh hell no, i dont let my son get away with that, now those parents should have been controlling those kids. shows who has the control. its sad these kids are being raised to learn nothjing right. i would have took my son outside and cleared things up! then i would go and apologize for the mess. they should have got those kids and made them sit, but thats wrong! and they should have to pay for that tv. maybe that would have taught them to make them act correctly | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:31:19 AM |
rawrrr?
Did you know some kids a starved for compression and need to be wrapped? SID is on the up rise and a lot of those kids need "deep touch" that comes from wrapping or putting a cord on their chairs they can push against it calms them down and lets them focus on the lesson. Sensory problems are treated also by putting weighted vest or lap buddies on children. Offering heavy work making them push against the wall are ways to get a child to calm down
Yes, I'm very aware of that. In fact, I'm currently helping a friend make a weighted blanket for her son. The deal with this teacher and her tape wasn't like that though. She proudly admitted to actually doing it, then changed it to she proudly admitted to threaten to do it, then all of a sudden it's a joke. No mention of sensory issues in her posts. That's a horse of a different color.
Speaking of though... I was discussing this thread with some mommy friends of mine. They read the thread as well. One of my very close friends had this to say about it and it totally sums up my feelings on the issue:
threatening to tape down a child is not getting through to them, it's teaching them that the 'taper' has control over the child and is using a visual cue as means to scare the child into submission. It's NOT a joke to threaten a kid with force.
Like leaving a belt on the table and threatening to use it on them if they move. Same thing.
If that child had not been eating his lunch and was in fact being THAT disruptive- he would be sent to the principals office(or counselor's office, or back to the classroom) for lunch period for a course of several days- taken OUT of his 'comfortable' environment where he was trying to impress his friends. I know- my son did this very thing! lol
And the classroom behaviors- yah- you redirect them and when that fails you remove them from the environment that they continuously misbehaving you and have them EARN the privilege of returning. This woman has obviously NO training with special needs children or emotionally disturbed children.
Sweetness-
I think that in threads such as these, it does get unnerving for some when it comes to non-parents throwing their 2 cents in. Parenting really is something that you can't ever fully grasp, no matter how smart you are, no matter how much experience you've had with children, until you become one. Nothing qualifies someone as being a parent until they truly are one. I used to be one of those non-parents that swore my kids would NEVER act like brats because I'd beat their little asses. Then I had my own kids and one is a very spirited, rambunctious, hard to discipline, little boy. I learned real quick that it's not always black and white, and no matter how good of a parent I am, he is who he is and *I* have to learn to adapt to his personality and react accordingly. (Personally I'd take this forum as a form of entertainment, and not a place to learn from experiences, but that's just me.) | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:31:38 PM | That's nice of you to make the blanket for your friend www.abilitations.com has a lot of great gift ideas and room ideas for teachers also. I am sure that teacher if she really was one could have taken classes that would have given her better training on dealing with attention seeking children. I did not read every post.
I never gave birth to a child. I took care of a lot of them had some live with me for up to 8 years. It is most likely that I never will have one of my own. Teacher’s kids are only out done by cop’s kids as to attention seeking behaviors and only out distanced by preachers kids in sneakiness. I should know my mom was an English teacher her mom a missionary. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:08:42 PM | justasweetone ....
That is uncalled for i agree but in the US what do "PEOPLE" expect parents to do because when you SPANK (NOT HIT) an child bottom (fully clothed) you get people turning around giving you, evilist looks and then when you don't get onto them in public you have people mouthing off how bad of an parent you are....just my opion..
Like yesterday my TWO yr old son was being an "boy" he was playing as in walking around and laughing and just being goofy and this woman LOWLY whispers "i dont know whos kid that is, but his mother/whoever seriously needs to do something with him".....I started to walk over there and ask her...What do you think i should do because, he is TWO he doesn't understand how your suppose to keep quiet in an hospital (we had no babysitter...we was seeing his godmother in hospital).....But instead of turn around to my neice and nephew and took my two yr olds hand and said come on yall lets get the drinks back, to them so people will stop mouthing off about yall/dj" (my son)......
But now days if you "spank" an child or even get onto them this world wants throw stones at you and if you let them do as they please they still give you ugly looks...
One more thing...
Me My Mom And My Son was in the store the other day and he was pitching an fit because he couldn't get down and take off running wild (wich he'd been gone before we could blink an eye) and my mom told him "if you do not stop acting like this, im fixing to spank your bottom" and this woman turn around and gave us the most "go 2 hell" look so told my mom....You know what if that woman doesn't like how we control him than maybe she shouldn't be in our business and watching what he does.... My little boy is one of the most SPOILED little kids in this area because he had such rough time when he was born and he stayed in hospital for about 3weeks after his birth wich was 3 26 2006. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:30:26 AM | For anyone who really cares my STFU attitude goes to all the regulars on here who are NOT parents constantly belittling and putting everyone who is a parent down. Thinking that they would do a much better job.
It's so easy for ANYONE to judge so long as they are not the one's going through or experienceing what another is. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:02:55 PM | | Are any of you who are critical of your exes parenting skills, equally as critical of your own parenting skills? I'm quite sure your ex can be just as critical of your parenting skills. Who appointed you as judge and "decider" of what is right and wrong in parenting? Everyone has their own style, and I think thats what pi§§e§ separated parents off most. Learn to work with your ex, its in the best interest of your children. If you need a mediator to start things off, use those services, because lawyers will only add fuel to the fire. Remember lawyers make m0ney off of you not being able to get along with your exes. Judge not, or ye shall be judged. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:58:32 PM | | thats true...nightrider....i always tried to NOT judge anybody for their faults/mistakes because it is not OUR place to judge anybody i mean you don't see your ex, posting things all over the net about you.....So whos to say when the children get older and they see an thread/post than an friend sent them and it is talking about, the child father and the MOTHER so....How is it going to look on us when we have to explain what is being said/people saying about their parent?...JMHO again please do not take any of this as being an jerk. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:16:25 PM | I agree with you diggy
It's so easy for ANYONE to judge so long as they are not the one's going through or experienceing what another is. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:57:18 PM | Diggy?
No two people are alike so no one would ever be able to know what another is going through. Most people have been in one parenting relationship. I have a mom and dad so to me good parents are like them. I also raised a boy who had a mom who died partly because she did not take care of herself and his dad skipped out on them so he could chase drugs bad parents to me are like them. A parent gets the child ready to be an adult who must live with others. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:01:32 PM | | OKay I read some of your posts people. Yes bad parents to me are the ones who are not raising their child or atleast helping out, since I have personally dealt with this threw my own kids father, he pays his child support he knows where I live and he also has my number yet does he come around NO. So to me that is a bad parent. A parent should have the right to displine their child in public if it doesn't cause boidly harm to the child without the looks from non-parents. You don't think I won't displine my children in public if they act inapporiatly I think I would. Just like the other day we were walking home from getting ice cream and my eldest had just started throwing a tantrum I had displined her in public and someone gave me a dirty look over it and I striaght up told that person if they can make her act apporiatly in public please be my guest to displine her. Well anywho thats my opioion about public displine. As far as teachers spoon feeding a child bring back spanking in public schools by the princepal. I know they did when I went to this one elementary school and my brother had acted in a way he wasn't suppose my mother had signed the papers for the spanking, and he got a spanking. Their are some people out here that actually raise children without giving birth and their wonderful parents. And some non-parents that listen to Dr. Phil or Oprah about raising children is the right way to go no its not cause their not going to help when you have a 2 yr old throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store and you can't relay on these child rearing books they have out now because they don't work. | |
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| Bad Parenting Behavior
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:32:53 PM | | help!im a sigle dad,and ive always tried my best for my son ,he does judo ,swimming and football hes 8 yrs old,as he comes to me i try to help him with reading and writeing but very difficult as the time i spend with him is short my problem is at his home his mum doesnt care shes taken him to the park once in 8 yrs never takes him on holiday books her holiday for when i take him away!never reads to him or sits down with him to show him how to write,i cant say anything to her or shell use him as a weapon,now the school has contacted me to tell me hes falling behind ,i spoke to her about this and she told me hes must be dislexic,and she told him theres something wrong with him as you can imagine this is breaking my heart as the confident little boy i love is getting lower and lower in him self ! help i realy need some help on this one as its breaking my heart | |
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