| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:25:17 PM |
You have to learn how to pick those things out.
Yes, I will work on that. Just to let you know, I enjoyed our little banter. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:21:19 PM | Geez, I am probably going to club myself over the head for this but.......
OP has a point… to a point
For 20 years I was married to a wonderful woman who continually told me that what she loved so much about me was my take charge attitude. I started a successful company at 23, and she worked very little. The car broke, I fixed it. I wanted fish, I caught them. Kids got out of line, I straightened them out. She called me a “man’s man”. I didn’t feel that way, but nevertheless we were always happy and we had a wonderful marriage. The only clubbing was when a guy grabbed her butt and I blacked his eye(actually happened). She was a very strong woman as well, but she just preferred to let me handle most decisions until……
One day a few years back I was in a very bad car accident. I had life threatening injuries with years of recuperation. Everything sailed along fine for a while after the accident, but I could sense that she was getting very discontented. Well one thing led to another until we ultimately divorced.
Thing is, now I know what happened. She was so accustomed to me being the one with the club that when she had to pick up the club for a while, she freaked out. Now she has the nerve to tell me the reason was that I had the club in the first place. Can’t argue with that logic. I thought my life was over but now I see it as her loss because I have healed and back to my old self and she appears to be not so well. I was going to say I’ve been polishing my club, but that just ain’t right…. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:59:28 PM |
Sorry cave man, but I just don't think you'd have the intelligence to handle this Amazon
ROFL... Why would he want to try???
Because neither of ya have the intellectual aptitude to meet muster 
Brat | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:34:48 AM | This is the real truth.
Some women like to be controled by men.
Some men like to be controled by women.
Most of us don't want to be controled or control another person. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:32:58 PM | | I do not think that banter existed in the caveman/woman days. Instead of hitting each other on the head with insults or smart alec-king, people literally clubbed each other on the head back then. So banter is the modern day equivalent of this custom and I do not see how banter is the same as being intellectual or even intelligent or equal. It is a form of bullying, IMO. I know how to do it, to "protect" myself from "smarties" IRL, but debating or banter has nothing to do with dialogue or discussion. It is a form of modern duelling, save the gun or sword. Plus it leads to the so called "mind games". I find banter as disrepectful to others as the original caveman antics. Urg! Urg! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:01:17 PM | "Banter generally requires wit. Wit is the province of the clever."
Wit is indeed one requirement for banter. But it is not wit that is put in good use.
Plus, many criminals and mass murderers were witty or clever and the like. Even the Hannibal Lecter character. So it takes a certain personality to engage in banter using some level of wit as a weapon.
It is a shame to use/spend one's wit in banter. There are far better, more positive and "peaceful" uses/applications of wit. Banter is an intellectual format of "gladiating", the Colloseums being forums rather than the Roman ones. Should we bring those back? Or the duels with swords? Or introduce intellectual "Rollerball"?
Plus much of banter is not that "rich" in wit, but its producer (and his/her "fanclub") usually thinks it does. But that proves nothing, serves nothing and destroys the fine art of discussion. It takes much more real wit to discuss than to banter.
In short, IMO, banter is a SOMEWHAT witty/clever/intellectual form of aggression - caveman behavior, but it is available to both women and men . In the Wild West the pistolleros used guns, today they use banter! The only difference is that it seems equal opportunity form of aggression (ie both genders ca practice this form of aggression). Discussion takes much more wit, mind/smarts and a different personality.
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:18:14 PM | LMAO ^^^^ Bantering about banter. 
~OT~ Good grief...this is still a discussion (or something?) It's just like everything else in life: personal preference. If you don't want someone taking charge, don't date a take-charge person and FFS don't marry a take charge person and then complain of control. If you like a take-charge person or are one, don't date/marry another one ~ power struggle relationships just plain old suck! JMO  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:27:37 PM | Hi Nick. Long time no see. How are things?
and I really don't get it.
Nick is a good man. His bantering about bantering was a completely non-personal form of humor. It was meant to be funny, nothing more and nothing less, with no mentions of persons or specifics. Rather witty me thinks. Harrr..
I know this because I remember Nick from last year when there was a fantastic debate while fishing with a guy named Bill. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:17:48 PM | *- Some offtopic drift is allowed and expected but refrain from flaming, trolling and generally being jerks to one another. Thanks -TheMadFiddler-* | |
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claral
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Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 236 | |
| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:33:34 AM | Oh yes I believe its instinct to go for an assertive man who will make decisions.
Dont agree with the aggressive bit as if too aggressive it can be off putting. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:56:50 AM |
Because neither of ya have the intellectual aptitude to meet muster
ROFL... Intellect hell... I dont have a strong enough back. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:37:21 AM | Jeff1024,
I agree to some extent the OP does have a point.
I don't think women want to be controlled (and neither do men). But I do think women want a man with some backbone. Someone who steps up and "takes charge" when the situation dictates it. My former fiance was that way and it was such a wonderful change from my ex-husband who couldn't decide if he should come in out of the rain unless he asked me first.
It doesn't mean that she doesn't want her opinion to count for something. If I am asked "what movie do you want to see?" or "where would you like to eat?" or "what do you want to do tonight" and I say "I don't care." make the darned decision. If I had a preference I would say so and I won't complain about what you decide. But maybe that is just me. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:43:14 PM | And rants and raves may attract them as well....
Like the implication that we as men, dont measure up intellectually to YOU... hmmmm
dont like it? dont read!
Or do you make it a practice to threaten...?? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:06:58 PM | There is a difference between being dominate and being dominating. Do I like a dominiate guy. Yep!.. theres just something about their self confidence, assurance, respect, and their attitude that makes me as a woman, feel as if they always have my back. They my best interest at heart and will do what it takes to see that I have everything I need. A Domininate man isnt going to push me into doing something Im not comfortable with. He isnt going to demand that I do something because he wants it that way. He's open to discussion, compromise respects my intelligence, and respect me as a person.
A dominating man is entirely different. He dominates from a position of controln (not HIS self control, but the control of others) .. and fear. He has to downgrade someone in order to make himself feel superior. He makes demands, expect absolute obiedience, and god help you if you step out of his narrowly defined parameters of what his "woman" should be and do. Think of an overgrown two year old throwing a temper tantrum. Its all about his wants and needs, not about his partners. Its not about compromise, (that word isnt even in his vocabulary) its not about anyone getting their needs met but him..... and its certainly NOT about respect. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:58:26 PM |
And rants and raves may attract them as well....
Like the implication that we as men, dont measure up intellectually to YOU... hmmmm
dont like it? dont read!
Or do you make it a practice to threaten...??
Listen Smuggler1 I didn't start this, YOU did. I simply made a comment concerning "cavemen" which technically died out millions of years ago. YOU are the one who chose to make a personal attack on me, not the other way around.
Let me remind you what I said in my original post, "Sorry cave man, but I just don't think you'd have the intelligence to handle this Amazon" and you are the one who chose to comment and take it out of context. You chose to point a finger at me which in turn caused ten to be pointed directly back at you.
So again, continue to freely post as you wish. I'll gladly keep track of the posts you've made towards me (personal attack and now YOUR baiting threats) with message numbers and forward them on to the moderators.
Have a good night.
Brat | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:36:39 AM | | you've got to be kidding! Maybe there are a few women who like assertive men - and these women are either the 'golddigger' type who want an older man with lots of money OR there are the women who don't have the brains God gave a brick. They not only want, they NEED an assertive man. But for the average reasonably attractive woman with some intelligence and anything going for her - she needs an assertive man like she needs a bomb dropped on her. Get real Darlin', this is the 2000's - a new time, with women who think for themselves. If you find one of 'those' women who like assertive men, you would be bored to tears in no time if you have anything going for you. Life is a challenge; that's what makes us stronger, wiser, independent, interesting. If you need to be 'the man' then maybe you don't have that much self-confidence. Think about it - look before you leap! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:05:05 AM | I understand what the OP is saying. I guess the definition of a cavemen is relative to your beliefs/experiences but my preference is cavemen aka alpha males. Not all cavemen are brutes, lack intellectually or are bullies, they are men who aren't afraid to embrace their natural traits. I'm not a gold digger, looking for a father figure or a low watt bulb, I'm a woman who wants a man to treats her as an equal. Most cavemen don't fear rejection and can tell a woman what he thinks without fear. I want a man who is assertive and knows his boundaries and places expectations on me. To me a relationship is about growth and learning, how can you do that without challenging the other person.
I'm not perfect and it's great to have a man who will take charge and make me own up to my crappy behavior. Which is exactly what I do to them, it's a reciprocal relationship not a power struggle.
Smuggler are you playing limbo in this thread? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:18:24 AM | | I agree, noone likes to be controlled. The most important thing to us women, op, is that a man does respect and value our feelings and opinion and have a place for it. I will never forget a date oncwe where we went to a video rental place and the guy had no regard at all for what flick I would have liked to see-that was a huge turnoff and 'go the other way' sign to me. I have dated a controller before-needing that much control is usually a mask for un addressed feelings of insecurity or inferiority in a man, sometimes a perfectionist who thinks of hisself as the 'protector' might overlook that the woman by his side is a person too, not his charge, servant or opponent just bc she's female and hes male. You might want to try asking yourself where this strong feeling in you comes from. Maybe you were controlled in childhood and have some healing work to do? Just a thought | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:27:04 AM | | Wow Insfmemory-that was one of the clearest posts I have ever read! You Go sista-well said! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:20:03 AM | Lol, I totally agreee with laughinglibra,
I will always control my life from here on in, I have conceded too many times in the past to my regret, but I have grown and learned to live my own life and fullfill my potential, and basically do what makes me feel good and happy without consent, I'm no longer a child that I need someones permission to do what I want.
Finding a guy that has similar ambitions would be great, and a mutual sharing of interests would be the ideal. If not, a respect for each others interests, and a wholehearted support would in my opinion lead to lot's of fun and interesting conversations.
A man who is decisive is appealing, if he is willing to compromise as well,
And a man who is confident in the bedroom, aaahhhhh.....
But no clubs please!
Jasmin | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:28:35 AM | There is a difference between wanting an assertive man, and a controlling man. A controlling person will use whatever means possible to get thier way, be manipulative even. I would not be into that.
An assertive person will simply target what they want, make a game plan on how to do it, and try hard at it.
Give me an assertive man any day. Just because someone is assertive does not auto imply that they don't care about the needs of those around them. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:16:33 AM |
Listen Smuggler1 I didn't start this, YOU did. I simply made a comment concerning "cavemen" which technically died out millions of years ago. YOU are the one who chose to make a personal attack on me, not the other way around.
Let me remind you what I said in my original post, "Sorry cave man, but I just don't think you'd have the intelligence to handle this Amazon" and you are the one who chose to comment and take it out of context. You chose to point a finger at me which in turn caused ten to be pointed directly back at you.
So again, continue to freely post as you wish. I'll gladly keep track of the posts you've made towards me (personal attack and now YOUR baiting threats) with message numbers and forward them on to the moderators.
Have a good night.
Have fun with that! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:13:21 PM | Well, speaking as a man with a strong streak of sexual dominant in his make up, I'll pass.
I don't want a woman who needs me to be dominant, I want one who wants me to be. This is a subtle but important distinction.
And outside the bedroom I want her to be as strong as I am. A partner, not a pet. If I want a pet who blindly loves me and always does what I tell them I'll get a dog. ;) | |
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I will refrain from continuing this "banter" as it would be pointless, proving the point of some posters that individuals still possess the "caveman" attitude thus you do not have the intellectual aptitude nor a strong enough back to handle me. 
