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| Cave man days, bring'em back...
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:21:41 AM | "Give me a caveman in the bedroom..... oh yeah..... but a caveman in the rest of the house is going to find his club shoved right up his arse."
Hey There Libra.
This little comment of yours just has little ole me just laughing out loud to beat the band here!!
Iagree with you 100% on this 1 for sure!!
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:34:38 PM | I'm not going to read ten pages to find out. Has anyone told the jarhead that there are lots of aggressive and dominating women, just as there are lots of submissive men? He saw some cartoon about a caveman way back when and thinks he's had an insight about human nature. All he's done, however, is reduce humanity's stunning variety to a cartoon in his head.
Some may wonder, as I did for a moment, how he got to be so old without meeting one of the many women in the world who will never take his bullshit, let alone those who could clean his clock like ringin' a bell. Then I remembered that an incurious mind only sees what it looks for. He can see women who want someone to drive their shit. He doesn't notice the other many who mutter "what an a55hole!" to each other and steer well clear of his feckless assumptions. So he concludes they don't exist.
What is it with people who want us all to be the same, when we never, ever were? Are they simply afraid of our boundless variety? It stumps me. But that's what I get for seeing more than I expect to see.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:13:49 PM | Look, the responses to this thread alone make me sad, sad because just like most people read something a totally misunderstand what wsa written, not misinterpret but misunderstand. Here is what I'm saying, try to following along. If I with a woman and she's determining what we do, when we do it, how we do it and for how long she controlls the situation, yes, but because I am in that situation I am being controlled not in bad demeaning way but controlled nonetheless. Say the situation was the other way, I would be in control of the situation and of her of course, again not in a demeaning abusive.
Some of you idiots misunderstand and think I'm a woman hater or basher with no manners, I am one of the most respectful people you'll ever meet but I do speak my mind. Some of you are just having fun with this topic and that's ok. People don't mind being controlled in a limited non threatening way by someone they trust, I am merely saying that most women fall into this and I say it from my personal experience. I know some women out there don't want, wouldn't to give up any controll under any circumstance and that's fine also.
Because women like to be controlled in some ways doesn't mean they lack self-esteem or anything else, it also doesn't mean the men who like to control them in that way are disrespectful towards women in any way. I didn't say assertive or aggressive those are two different words altogether.
SO take from this waht you will, but some of you women who say no way to giving up control know deep down just as do, that you really do like being controlled. As for the men who misunderstand this topic, I say get a life and a clue, pretending to be politically correct will get you nowhere.
Respect of others is very important unless they show they don't deserve any. Bringin back those cave man days is simply my way os saying "c'mon men take control, chances are your lady will love you for it." | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:25:15 PM | | If a person is a situation not controlled by themselves or mutually controlled by that fact they are in that situation means they are being controlled. Now, think of it in abad or demeaning way or in a happy good way, either way you're being controlled. So call it aggresssive, assertive or give it any other term you'd like, bottom line is you're being controlled and it's a fact of life that some people like being controlled while others don't. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:36:42 PM |
Respect of others is very important unless they show they don't deserve any.
Lead by example recruit. Your demeaning comments on other posters is not a way to show respect to those who wish to post their own thoughts. You started this thread but you do not control it. If you wish to be more specific and/or want this thread to go in another direction, then state your intentions, but do not throw a fit because others are not posting what you wish them to post. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:04:46 PM | | It is because women are aggressive today, more than any time in history......... so, it takes a caveman aggression in order to be more "manly" than a woman. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:46:19 PM | Tranny, you're on the money! It's funny, isn't it, how obviously OPie wants to control the content of an open thread, something nobody can do, and, even if he could, he'd get nothing whatsoever for his trouble. It's like he thinks it's "his" in some truly proprietary way.
And then there are all of those assessments and characterizations of we strangers, as if it's up to him to sort us out. You and I know that you and I don't care who thinks what of us. OPie hasn't gotten there yet, though he certainly could. His greatest obstacle may be that, when people don't conform to the cartoons in his head, he thinks they are being dishonest. He really does! That's going to take some unscrewing.
I wonder what he'll make of the conventional wisdom that controlling people are the far more insecure (they want more control, after all!), while those who easily relinquish control are the more confident and assured?
Smilee, whatever are you talking about? You never heard of the tribe of warrior women who each sliced off one breast to improve their archery? You never heard of Amazons?
Before someone conks me because the 'zons weren't real, let me say that doesn't matter. The important thing is that we have had powerful stories of warrior women in many cultures for millennia. People have always recognized the assertive motive in women. There is nothing new about it at all. Your preference isn't quite Natural Law.
Here's one of my touchstones: In the Elder Edda, an ancient Scandinavian text of even more ancient stories, there's a brief anecdote in which Odin, father o' the gods, travels to the Well of Life to get an answer to a question that vexes him terribly. The price for an answer, he learns, is one of his own eyes. He plucks one of those blue boys out of his head, throws it in the well, and asks his question: "What do women really want?"
The answer comes back straightaway: "A woman wants to choose her own destiny."
Don't feel bad for not knowing that one. Freud asked the same question many centuries later and came up with quite the bullshit answer. He wasn't the last, and neither is OPie. If we could find that damned well, then, maybe.
Cheers!
Vulf | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:44:35 PM | OHHHHH OP, wow!!! OK hon, I think that you might have some kind of point but through all your he-man macho me tarzan you jane stuff it's not coming through so well.
As the two posters above ( Tranny) said, you can not control a thread. And did you really think that your topic would NOT cause some heated controversy?
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SO take from this waht you will, but some of you women who say no way to giving up control know deep down just as do, that you really do like being controlled. As for the men who misunderstand this topic, I say get a life and a clue, pretending to be politically correct will get you nowhere.
Respect of others is very important unless they show they don't deserve any. Bringin back those cave man days is simply my way os saying "c'mon men take control, chances are your lady will love you for it."
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OP your point really isn't coming through as you would like. It's a little offensive that you assume that you have the ability to truly know what women think or feel in this matter. You do NOT know what we feel deep down, do not presume that you do. The only way to know that is to communicate with us, and that is not done through trying to manipulate or control.
Yes women like men to be strong and assertive, we like to know we can lean on him, enjoy his masculine strength and he can enjoy our femininity. That is not the same as control. And the way you are coming off (whether intentionally or not) is not appealing to most women, maybe those with little selfesteem and codependancy issues. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:20:11 AM | You know, I totally get what the OP is saying. It is his delivery that is off a bit. But there are a few who have just gone off half****d emotionally without chewing the cud for a bit.
Yet there are others who are not in touch with what's really going on between men and women in relationships. And that could be from a lack of learned skills, being jaded, and certainly other similar reasons.
What I do find saddest are the men who kiss up to the women just to make themselves look good in those women's eyes. Oh that is so sad to be a woman's best friend and jubilantly see his words reflected in her face. What kind of respect is it that one gains by agreeing with her all the time? And don't think that guys don't stupidly do that to get in your panties ladies.
What the OP is trying to say, and I pointed it out in an earlier post (unfortunately a lot of bs goes on and on because most won't take the time to read all the posts in between the first and last posts), is that most woman love it when a man can step in and take control of situations so she won't have to.
Examples are making plans where to eat and when, taking out the trash without being asked, figuring out how to get places and never getting lost, knowing the right thing for her to wear to the event his client invited them to go to (god forbid it wasn't a masquarade party near Halloween), handling the kids when they get into trouble, etc.
It makes her life easier when a man steps up to the plate and does all these things with intention and foresight. It's a miserable pain in the ass for her to deal with these things by herself and when the man takes control and does them just because they need to be done (not because the lame ass is trying to impress her), she will love him for it.
And guess what? She will be happy to relenquish more control to him if he keeps it up.
Are you all getting it now????
All these things that men do, that women love, does indirectly control her life and she will love him for.
And I'll say it again, it's when he does these things wrong or with the wrong intent, is when she will accuse him of being controlling.
Hello? Is that an echo that I hear? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:47:19 AM | | You need more of acting like a man and not complaining to a woman. No begging and pleading if you feel you are good enough, have confidence, and stop acting like a woman. Make them decide for themselves, let them call, let them tell you when you did good, since they have no problem when you screw up. Move on and go to the next one if she says no, this is not the movies when after the six time she finally says yes. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:11:27 PM | YourCuteGuy1 - I think you might (MIGHT) be coming across alot better then the op did in getting the point across. It's a fine line and finding that balance is what will decide if a man is being assertive or if he is being controlling.
I still say that not all women are alike, some will be extreme on either side and some will be right in the middle. It would be foolish of any man to assume, and act based solely on that assumption, that he knows exactly what a woman thinks/wants/feels.
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And I'll say it again, it's when he does these things wrong or with the wrong intent, is when she will accuse him of being controlling.
Hello? Is that an echo that I hear? ------ I don't know, are you in an empty room? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:56:50 PM | [I still say that not all women are alike, some will be extreme on either side and some will be right in the middle.]
Sure, depending on what circumstances they were brought under and what life has put them through. But it's harder for unhealthy people to recognize healthy people than it is vice versa. An unhealthy person sees the world through colored shades while a healthy person sees both those with colored shades on and those who don't have them on, more or less.
Regardless, a lot of people put up a lot of walls out of fear of being hurt. One of those walls is that of independance and it saves a person from being let down by another. It can be good and it can be bad.
[ It would be foolish of any man to assume, and act based solely on that assumption, that he knows exactly what a woman thinks/wants/feels]
And that's why a lot of men get in trouble. Damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.
A woman says to a man to pic what movie to go watch. The man pics the movie to go watch and she says with sarcasm, "why would you think I would want to see that dumb movie?" | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:07:03 PM | I get what you mean totally....I have often said I wish I lived in ther 40's because I WANT to be a wife and mother and stay home and care for the home....AND my man....then came womens lib...and sorry ladies...I DONT like that I HAVE to work now....Even when I was married, I HAD to work...and we both made a great income! I just did not want to shuffle my kid off to daycare! I WANTED to be there...have a man be the man and a woman be the woman! UNFORTUNATELY I ended up being the woman AND the man. I had to do everything which made me wish for the old fashioned way of life even more!
I really WOULD like to meet a man who CAN BE A MAN! Those days still here or what? Lately I find myself seeing men turn into women and women turn into men! WTF?!  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:09:16 PM | YourCuteGuy1 - very good points. But again your seeing it from a man's point of view. And your scenario's are one's I would imagine take place with unhealthy women.
If I am asked where to go for movie/dinner, I have no problem saying what I want or just making a suggestion. I have no problem saying that a certain type of movie wouldn't be ok with me for whatever reason. But if I said for him to choose then I certainly am not going to be angry or sarcastic when he makes a choice. I can see the "damned if he does/doesn't" women get that as well. But here's where the fine line comes in.
Communication. If she reacts with sarcasm he has the option to address her bullcrap behaviour. This has nothing to do with control/caveman stuff. It has to do with being respectful towards each other. Both parties.
And just as her sarcastic response is rotten so would his if he didn't atleast think of what I might want to see. A great man would think of what he knew of my likes/dislikes and try to find something we'd BOTH enjoy - then tell me on the way "Hey babe, I want to take you to a movie I think you'd really like". THAT is being assertive/strong while showing consideration. No clubbing me on the head and saying "This is how it is".
Anyway - I like your input on unhealthy vs healthy. And it becomes obvious (usually) what is and isn't, atleast to the healthy party/parties. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:42:01 PM |
then came womens lib...and sorry ladies...I DONT like that I HAVE to work now.
Fantastic point. We should not Have to have two incomes just to make a decent life for ourselves. With that, who is there to teach children morals and valuable lessens in life? It sure is not happening in the schools.
But then, often, many women are insistent on being the do it alls.
Ok, who is looking for a good househusband?
Hahahaha. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:03:26 PM | Lead by example. I haven't said one demeaning thing about anybody, I merely said some of those who post their thoughts about claiming to KNOW what I'm trying to say or how I must treat women are wrong and way off course. And I am in no way trying to control this thread in any way, so get a clue recruit. I welcome people's posts on this thread weather I agree, don't agree or am indifferent to what they say. I stopped throwing fits around the age of 6 or 7.
Hey, it's my opinion and experience that many women like being controlled within similiar situations that I noted, some agree and some disagree but it's not the end of the world. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:10:43 PM | I believe in equal rights for BOTH.
If those caveman days are over....its women who are responsible.
I got yelled at for opening the door for a woman... I won't make that mistake EVER again! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:31:10 PM | I have read most of this thread and I found most views interesting..all of us are different. Earlier I posted that I to some extent agree with OP, but now I find myself in a totally different situation. I have been hanging out with a ladyfriend of mine lately that is extreemely independent, self sufficient, and outgoing...totally opposite of what I have had in the past. I find it so refreshing, because when I am with her I don't feel like I have to lead the way all the time. What makes her so special is that she has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, and even though she is a very beautiful woman, she is completely down to earth. But back to OP, we were having drinks a while back and she got in a rather heated conversation with some nitwit in a bar, now she can hold her own in most any situation, but eventually this guy started getting a little vulgar with her. I had been quiet, but I spoke up and basically told this dude to shut up with the ugly talk, and I meant it. Well he got the message and quietly left soon after. Thing is, she has brought that incident up a couple of times and says she really liked having a man take charge like that, I guess defending her honor for lack of a better word. It has since occured to me that as strong of a woman as she is, there are men out there are very intimidating with their aggressiveness, and she can feel very vulnerable.
The cool thing is that we are best buds and make a great tag team. It is really funny too that I have told her a couple of creepy things that women have said or done to me lately, and she gets all tenacious and says they better not pull that crap around her. As of now we are just great friends, but I just love her to death, and I don't have to drag that club around all the time. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:55:42 PM |
Some of you idiots misunderstand… …I haven't said one demeaning thing about anybody.
Ha haha. Are you so clueless that you don’t even remember what you have written here? Or maybe you just don’t understand that it is demeaning to call someone an idiot.
As for the men who misunderstand this topic, I say get a life and a clue, pretending to be politically correct will get you nowhere.
Who are you to say that anyone has misunderstood this topic? Last I checked, no one here has ever even met a caveman, so folks here will determine, for themselves, what ever it is that they wish to post. Don’t misunderstand me. What I am saying here is that you are the only idiot that misunderstands the topic.
Because women like to be controlled.
Are you a woman? No? Then keep your mouth shut as to what women like or do not like. Do you really think that a full grown adult needs, or even wants, you to speak for them on their behalf?
I know that you are attempting to get men to grow up and take responsibility for their lives and show women that men can be capable adults, but you are failing because you have no tact. Have you always been a failure?
It is good to know that you have everything figured out all by your lonesome. Don’t you wish that everyone were as smart as you? BTW, that was a very ingenious derogatory remark, calling me a recruit. Where did you ever think that one up?
I know. I am being demeaning. Do you like it as much as I do? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:00:57 PM | OP, everything you have said has been demeaning. The whole idea of women deep down want to be controled by men is rediculous beyond words.
The idea that just because he is male he should be in control, I don't think so.
There has never and there will never be a time in my life where I will allow a man to control me. When I say never I mean never, not from birth to death, will a man control me.
I come from a long line of women who were born with working brains and do not need men to tell them what to do.
I think that insecure men are the ones that need women that want to be controled. They want to feel like they are more than they are. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:29:04 PM | | bcsofnc57 I totally agree. Yours is one of the best posts that I have read yet. I have joked around a couple of times about being caveman, but I was married to a woman for 20 years who didn't give a crap if the sun came up, and the idea that she wanted to be controlled is ludicrus. It is too darn hard to make it through life anyways without having to worry about how your partner behaves. Anyways, as I basically said in a couple of posts up, working as a partners is far more desirable than any type of control issues from either party. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:16:19 PM | holy crap! What happened lol.....I guess I should read this WHOLE thread huh? yikes......I only read original post but looks like I missed soem drama!
Stay tuned!!!!!!! LMAO! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:00:35 PM | OMG.....SERIOUSLY people?????????????
What is with this post? Talk about reading TOO much into it! GAWD~! This guy was merely making a point and leave it to (sorry!) people to over analyze EVERYTHING!. Jeeeeeeez!
I am sorry but I for one LIKE a man to take some control and that is all he is saying ! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO some people have to take it to another level...or dimension!
I am 31 yrs old , I am a good looking , successful , strong , opinionated and funny woman...HOWEVER...I too enjoy a man who can take control of a situation....I feel protected and loved and cared for.....I DO believe this is ALL the OP was trying to get across... NOT saying that a woman isnt all that I mentioned above! not saying she cannot decide or be recognized for her own being BUT to be self AWARE enough to trust and let her man make a decision and stand behind him.......
OP???? I "get" what you are saying.....everyone is reading WAAAY too much into this.....  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:40:44 PM | bcsofnc57,
have you ever left it up to a man to decide all the details of a date wheather it was a birthday or any other special occasion? If you have and I'm willing to bet you have, you were controlled in THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION. I'm not shouting or angry just emphazing my point. Letting another dictate what happens to us be it for good or bad is being controlled. Even working, smart and intelligent women like being controlled to some extent, you may not but if you can answer yes to the question I opened this paragraph with, well then, guess what, you were controlled.
And I keep on saying this many many women from all walks of life enjoy giving up controll under certain circumstances, come to think of it, I'm sure the same applies to men but that is another topic for another post. The kind of controll I speak of not because something is lacking, wrong or someone was abused as a child. It has to deal with ones level of comfort and trust. Here's a classic example, a true one at that. I dated a women for several years, we had great times and bad times and we each had a certain amount of trust in each other. One time she showed to my appartment, underneath her coat she had on some very nice and revealing lingerie, in the bag she carried were some blind folds and cuffs. As the night progressed she wanted to blind fold and cuff me, I kept resisting because I didn't know if I wanted to give any person that much control over me. After a few hours I agreed but only if she let me do it to her first, she agreed immediately. It was a great time for both - point being for the time each one of us was blind folded and cuffed we were being controlled by the other.
Control does not always have to be about dominace, ego or anything bad or demeaning, in fact, it can and should be a good thing. For the time that she was cuffed she wanted a cave man and she got one. | |
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