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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:34:06 AM | So, here's a further question for the women:
At what point does a guy go from being the "real man" that so many of you advertise you are looking for, to being controlling? What's the difference in your eyes? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:40:47 AM | | It depends on what turns you on. I, personally, love dominant, assertive men. Those kind of men really turn me on. But only in the bedroom. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:41:32 AM | That's not control OP thats taking charge in certain circumstances
If you call me and ASK me to go out because you have made arragements for a night out and its a surprise.......thats taking charge of the evening.........
if you call and TELL me to get ready thats controlling | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:41:33 AM |
At what point does a guy go from being the "real man" that so many of you advertise you are looking for, to being controlling?
A real man compromises when is the turning point...when one takes control where control is not need...open communication. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:42:40 AM | Ya, just what I need at my age.... a man to control me !! Listen honey, there is no controlling us women. lol.
Controlling is when he tells me I CAN'T do something.... NOT !! Just makes my brain go nuts and do exactly what he said not to do !! lol
Sophia  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:49:38 AM |
Back in the cave man days a man clubbed a girl over the head, took her to his cave and the rest ws history.
Prove this. Please, give me pictures or a video of a Cro Magnon or early Homo Sapien Sapien man clubbing a woman and dragging her back to the cave. Show me a cave painting illustrating this.
There is absolutely nothing that substantiates that in the "cave people" days that men treated women brutally. In fact, logically speaking, it would have been a disadvantage for them to do so. If you examine ancient societies such as Egypt and Sumeria, women often had a much higher status than they did in later societies such as Greek and Rome. Egypt was matrilineal, suggesting that at one time, the culture could have been matriarchal or at least matrifocal. Some scholars such as Marija Gimbutas claim that Bronze Age cultures were all matriarchal. That might be carrying it a bit far, but there is no way to prove or disprove the theory.
It's been my experience that many women if not most women like an assertive, aggressive man.
That's your problem--you are relying on your experience. You prefer submissive women and those are the ones whom you seek out. Not all women are the same.
But I do believe women want to be somewhat controlled in a limited way.
I believe that there are invisible pink unicorns on the moon. Your statement is so filled with caveats that it contradicts itself.
One of the constant complaints of SOME men in these forums is that women say we don't "need" men. Your biased, antiquated way of thinking is why SOME women say this. A man who thinks that he has the right to dominate women just because he is a man AND that MOST women will acquiesce, has not met many women.
Or maybe only we old broads are the only ones who feel this way. No, wait, I teach college--from what my female students have said, the majority of them don't feel this way. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:51:09 AM | One more thing: I like a man who can control HIMSELF and take care of HIS situations.
If I want help with mine, I'll ask. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:06:19 AM |
YES, women do liked to be controlled in many ways, mostly good ways, and with the right man the boundries can be pushed.
It never ceases to amaze me that a man feels that he can tell me, a woman, what I like and need.
Women can't even agree on everything that we like; we are all individuals. Yet, here is a man who says, without reservation, that he knows what women like.
Amazing.
I didn't say women want to be controlled, I sais they wanted to controlled in a limited way.
Forgive me, I just can't fathom the difference--and who decides what the control should be and when/how it is exerted.
Women are not girls; we do not need a daddy to tell us how, what, and why. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:07:27 AM | Here's a thought for ya, OP (and possibly others):
There is no greater pain in the ass on God's green Earth than someone who follows you around demanding that you master her. Do you really want such a nuisance? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:26:48 AM | As a teen, I had a poster in my bedroom with a statement similar to "God created woman from the rib of man. Woman was not created from man's arms to be held in bondage. She was not created from his back to never be seen or heard. Nor was woman created from his feet to be stepped on. She was created from a rib on his side, to signify that they should walk side by side through life together. " It seems appropro for this forum topic.
- Gingersnap (who does Not wish to be 'controlled' by Anyone!) | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:30:22 AM | Are you proposing we bring mostly nekkid men in loin cloths with lots of muscle who bring home the bacon and don't talk so much that they spoil the mood by saying something dumb?
Hmmmm, ok.
No seriously, I can't stand indecisive men but the caveat on that is that they better make decisions that benefit me as well as him. I'm tired of making them all.
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:42:50 AM | At what point does a guy go from being the "real man" that so many of you advertise you are looking for, to being controlling? What's the difference in your eyes?
For me and in a nutshell, a real man, or a real woman for that matter, is someone who is true (real) to their true nature...whatever that may be and as long it harms no one.
And I purposely avoid saying as long as it's not illegal, immoral, or unethical because who's to decide what is moral or not...and whose ethics should we go by...and didn't Rosa Park decide to break the law one day by refusing to give up her seat?
So if an individual should find that (s)he enjoys controlling or being controlled by another, it's simply a matter of finding a like-minded individual who enjoys the same as far as I'm concerned and IMO.
It might not be for me, but as long as no one is harmed, coerced, or deceived into what I think is caveman behavior, who really cares what I think? 
Me, I just want and need to be with someone who is my equal. And whatever "equal" means to me shouldn't matter to anyone else but me and the man who may one day see his equal in me.
So no caveman for me (please and thank you;)...but to each their own. 
JMHO | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:13:07 AM | Ladies...Ladies...Quit bashing the OP with the proverbial club. I think he is actually speaking pretty coherently, if y'all would just actually read what he wrote. He's right too. I want a man like that ...all joking around aside. I won't settle for less. I know I am not the only female like this out here. Maybe I'm among the few that are honest enough to admit it though.
He's not suggesting living two lives instead of the one that God gave him. He's talking about truth and not the PC garbage popular media keeps putting out. I don't want to mow my own lawn. I don't want to open my own doors and if a man loves me so well that he knows exactly what to order for my dinner then I am pleased to let him do it.
The OP isn't talking about a first date here, he's talking about a relationship wherein he knows the woman in question well and has a vested interest in her well being.
The truth is we women can not get away from the facts that we are more emotionally affected than men are and that men tend to be more logical and calmer in certain situations. Yes, there are exceptions and degrees, but by and large those are the scientific facts and they are backed up with studies that even include brain scans. We are not the same and we are not equal anymore than apples and oranges can be considered equal.
In a relationship, the parties should compliment each other not compete with each other. Also a relationship is an organization just like any other. Too many chefs will spoil the soup.
As for:
At what point does a guy go from being the "real man" that so many of you advertise you are looking for, to being controlling? What's the difference in your eyes?
A real man jumps the line to being controlling when selfishness becomes involved in the equation. When the directives and decisions he is making are neither for the best interest of the relationship as a whole or his significant other. When he forgets his role is to be the leader and protector he may degenerate into being controlling.
Just my 2 dollars (inflation you know).
Still waiting to get clubbed....::::sigh:::: | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:36:55 AM |
I think he is actually speaking pretty coherently, if y'all would just actually read what he wrote. He's right too.
You are painting a picture in the same wide and erroneous strokes as is the OP. He is not right about EVERY woman; he is right about SOME women. You exemplify the type of woman of which he speaks, but neither he nor you speak for me or ALL women.
I want a man like that ..
Because YOU want a man like that doesn't mean that all or even most women want a man like that.
The truth is we women can not get away from the facts that we are more emotionally affected than men are and that men tend to be more logical and calmer in certain situations. Yes, there are exceptions and degrees, but by and large those are the scientific facts and they are backed up with studies that even include brain scans. We are not the same and we are not equal anymore than apples and oranges can be considered equal.
Please, give me the information as to where I can go and validate your claims that men are always more logical and calmer in certain situations. Ever been in an ER room? The female nurses are as calm as the males. The stereotype of the female falling apart at the sight of blood, guts, spiders and snakes is a culturally held view that is not borne out.
You are mixing your metaphors--apples and oranges ARE equal in their own ways. They are both fruit, they are both best when sweet and a bit tart. They are different colors and have different textures, but that doesn't mean that the orange should be able to dominate the apple because it is orange. It doesn't mean that the apple should tell the orange what to do because it comes in colors from red to yellow.
In a relationship, the parties should compliment each other not compete with each other. Also a relationship is an organization just like any other. Too many chefs will spoil the soup.
"Complement" not "compliment." The use of the second word totally changes the context of the sentence.
As far as the soup analogy (another tired cliche): I have watched my son, who cooks for a living, in the kitchen preparing a dish. His GF, meanwhile, is also in the kitchen, preparing another dish. They are not competing; he is not telling her to what to do. They move as a team: sometimes, he makes the main dish and she prepares the side dish; other times, the roles are reversed. At times, he makes the whole dinner; at times, she does.
I am 55 years old. I have a wealth of life's experience behind me. I have made it on my own for years; I have made the decisions about where I work, where I live, and how to both save and spend the money that I make. Why do I need a man to make my decisions for me?
I don't.
But at the same time, I want to share my life with a man, and when I do, there will be time when I ask his advice and he will ask mine. Living with someone is a dance of compromise. If some women are so weak that they fear responsibility and want/need a man to tell them what to do and take control of situations, so be it.
BUT STOP SAYING THAT'S WHAT ALL WOMEN WANT OR NEED. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:28:57 AM |
Many of you will read this and deny you like being controlled in any way, form or fashion and you'll do so because you don't want anybody to know but whenyou're with your man I am positive you'll give up controll over lots of issues/thing/situations, again not in a bad or demeaning way.
You are 100% wrong(at least about me). I am not willing to give up any control to any man at any time about anything. Why would I? Just because he is male and I am female? I don't think so!!! Let him give up some control to me over lots of issues/things/situation but not in a bad or demeaning way. I am not serious, but the sick thing is you are. People aren't meant to control each other.
Because I know there a many women out there who like giving up controll to their man, I'm saying there aren't many men out willing to take that controll, most do what is considered to be the "right" thing. I can hardly wait to the responses to this. It is possible to be controlled and repected at the same time!!
Your right there are women out there that are so desperate to have a man in their life, they will let that man control them.
I would not have any respect for myself if I let anyone control me, and I am the only person that I have to live with. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:44:35 AM | Lies, lies, and more lies.
Do you have any idea how tiring it is to carry a woman back to the cave? By the time you get her there you are all wore out and need a nap, ya wake up and she is gone.
Besides, us Cro-Magnon learned centuries ago that the female signals the mating process. She decides when, where, and with whom to mate. All us males can to is to club the other guy in order to eliminate the competition.
I think that you have been watching too many Mel Brooks movies. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:23:57 PM | I never said all women, I said SOME women appreciate a caveman type. I used myself as an example. I apologize for my spelling error. I did mean complement. I wasn't aware I was being graded on spelling over content. Obviously no one is grading the women against the caveman concept on reading comprehension. But I digress.
I do manage well on my own. I have a fairly well paying professional job in AR/AP for a major hotel. I didn't sleep my way to that position. I went to school and I do the work, there are no plans for me to stop working. I am not a leech. I am not by any means or stretch of the imagination helpless either. I've raised 2 sons and a daughter on my own. I live by myself and manage to do everything that needs doing. I have been taking care of myself and my own for years. I actually intimidate a lot of men with my sheer capabilities (yeah, I laughed too when I was told that, at least the first time). They don't think I need them. (Evidently, SOME men like to be needed) I want one though.
I truly believe that men and women are entirely different mindsets. If we weren't so different than why are so many of us alone at 40 and 50. I do have scientific evidence that I base it on. I don't have the time or the inclination to scan page by page the numerous books I have on this very subject into the computer and I doubt that you intend to read it. There is somewhat of a cliffs notes version to be found here: http://healthfully.org/medicalscience/id8.html. You could just google it yourself though. Try the keywords "Scientific evidence gender differences in the brain" . My attempt at that brought up over 2 million pages. That should keep you busy for a while.
Apples and Oranges are both fruit. Men and Women are both females. When you break an apple or an orange down to its basic chemical composition, they are really not much alike, but they sure taste good together.
Suddenly I have a strange craving for fruit salad.
Viva La Difference! | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:34:37 PM |
Maybe I'm among the few that are honest enough to admit it though.
When you wrote that, you didn't insinuate, you flatly stated that the rest of we women are lying when we say that we don't want a man to control us.
I never said all women, I said SOME women appreciate a caveman type.
I reread your other post; indeed, you did NOT state SOME women. I couldn't find anyplace where you indicated SOME women like to be clubbed.
I will peruse your scientific evidence, but you still used broad general statement and stereotypes that painted all women--and men--in the same colors.
Men and Women are both females.
Say what? | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:43:33 PM | I read the article. It spoke of differences in the brain waves of males and females and this knowledge can benefit how diseases such as Alzheimer's might be treated; at no point did it discuss how those brain waves make men want to club women and women want to be clubbed.
There are difference between men and women; for instances, the theory of right brain/left brain thinkers, but one must be VERY careful of confusing biological essence with social constructivism.
The times, they are a' changing. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:49:30 PM | Re the Opost
I am a feminist and I insist on treating w0men, all kinds of women. not just GFs, as my equals.
But to be honest and call a spade a spade, I have to at least partly agree with the OPost in that SOME women, alas, do seem to crave the caveman days, not only in bed but in general man-woman relationships. Alas.
Plus all this "who pays" blah blah reinforces that impression. Again, alas!
There is no such thing as "a little old fashioned", to use an expression from my native country, some things are like pregnancy: There is no such thing as a little/partly pregnant. Same thing with old fashioned.
I hope that a time machine is invented soon so that all fans of the caveman days can get a chance to live them!  | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:52:43 PM | Geez...
You obviously did NOT read my first post. Figures. I did error on my statement about Men and Women being both females...I meant human. I was thinking SOME females want men to be females but chose not to write that.
My facts are good. My typing today not so hot, but then it is 90 degrees in the shade right now and I am exhausted for personal reasons and should probably get some rest before I try to defend my viewpoints. Obviously nitpicking is the hobby of some of the posters. MOST people have enough intelligence to know what that statement was intended to be and the tact and kindness to go without nitpicking at it.
Years managing a law office prior to my current position did teach me a thing or two about arguments. Its always the loser who picks the insignificant details to whine about over the larger issues.
I remember why I switched careers now. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:58:24 PM | Escuse me, I didn't say we were wired to be clubber and clubbee. The brain differences I noted were that women were (trying to figure out a way to simplify this for the 2nd grade readers out there)....... more emotionally in-tune (hopefully that is not too many syllables) and that men were more logical-thinking. The only comments I've made about clubbing were in jest (which is making a humorous statement) and self effacing (directed at myself) as well.
I'm glad you don't like the *caveman types*. More men for me to choose from then. | |
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| Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:02:42 PM | | I see an inherant problem with this and many posts. It seems like many people are looking for a set of rules that say "women want X", "men want Y", when, in truth you have to take each person as an individual. I know that's terribly difficult and many people hate doing that but honestly there isn't a set of rules that apply to each gender. | |
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