| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:47:13 AM | | All men do not feel this way, since I have had my share of men who found my rounded belly and not so large backside and out of proporton boobs to be very appealing, as everything goes, to each his/her own for what one finds attractive. This man's sales pitch would have gotten him nowhere with me, since he seemed to assume that looks are what makes a woman attractive, and that is not the deal, looks are just part of the entire package to a mature and reasonable man. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:47:43 AM | Two thought processes from MY male point of view.1) If both of you have laid down a great foundation for trust and communication,and can discuss anything then talk about it be upfront. If you have some hesitancy about being naked first time.A true Gentlman can and will respect the issue and maybe divulge his own hesitancy also.2) Refer to 1) Sorry I love the green jumpy thangy. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:53:40 AM | Darlin, you need a big shot of self-esteem. Look in the mirror, and repeat after me...if he is lucky enough to be in my bed, after a day or night of my conversation, cooking, etc....he is lucky enough, AND /OR if you can't quite make yourself say that, at least try to think that he must like what he sees, and hears, or he wouldn't be coming back.
Sexual attraction is more than a tight body. Or no old men and women would ever get to have it. Well..not without lots of pain at the gym, and/or plastic surgery. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:58:17 AM | | Candlelight was invented for just such insecure moments. Don't worry, he'll be totally enraptured by your good lovin'. And isn't that what it's all about! | |
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Bona x
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Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:10:32 PM | There is nothing more beautiful to me than a woman who wants to be with me and is wearing nothing more than a smile.
If she isn't feeling beautiful at the start, it won't be long before she realizes she is a most desireable and beautiful woman.
Any man who doesn't make their partner feel just plain terrific doesn't deserve you. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:49:31 PM | | I am sure what most people - male or female have said is absolutely right. I have had insecurities due to comments made in the past but have now decided 'what the hell!!'. If I am with someone who wants to be in the same position - i.e. naked, then just enjoy the moment and stop analyzing. No one is perfect after all. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:49:40 PM | feeling insecure naked......(Cindy)
Im sure when you started dating this man, he was not looking at you without your clothes on. So I'm sure he is not dating you for the flesh that covers your body.
But most important you need to be comfortable in your own skin. If this man really likes you ,he should like you for the person you are inside. Take some time and look at your self.. And tell your self "yes I am beautiful both inside and out" Because your beauty will show on the outside , once you have let it grow within you. Many people are not comfortable in there own skin. But once you are , a whole different world will evolve. Good luck, I'm sure you will your well on your way... | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:06:19 PM |
Candlelight was invented for just such insecure moments.
....And good wine
If he loves ya, your body shape is not going to matter one single bit.
...maeflowers | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:28:29 PM | If you keep him busy enough in your naked state, he won`t have the time or interest to inspect that carefully. I think alot of guys would prefer what you do in bed rather than how you look in bed. I had one of those too once. Heck awesome sex is awsome sex. Don`t need physical perfection to have sexual perfection. But he was so gorgeous,
sometimes when he would be sleeping, I would look over and think OMG I just did that!
I talked to him about me being a little taken back by his whole off the charts looks (He was from Tuscany, need I say more) He gave me a little lecture about not being so shallow and superficial. He knew that if he wanted a supermodel he could probably get
one, but he wanted me, and that I shouldn`t be so self focussed and get over it. He was right. I was being superficial to assume he wanted physical perfection. I`m glad he lectured me. It taught me alot. Enjoy your tom cat and keep him purring, and don`t worry about it. If he didn`t find you attractive, he wouldn`t be with you. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:57:25 PM | Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww I loved what Bona said what a nice guy!!! see there
are STILL some nice ones among us...!!!I dont feel super great about my bod naked either,but with candlelight,the music and the little buzz, its all good I look like whats her name with the great lips!!!LOL | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:08:11 PM | Think about the way you see him, that is how he sees you.
Be proud that you are taking care of yourself! He probably loves that about you too.
Relax and enjoy, that is what he is doing. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:10:13 PM | Cindy, in my humble opinion...............what that modeling agent said to you years ago has left its destructable seed. You are who you are and the most important thing is to realize that by the time the average woman reaches the point of disrobing in front of a man, some kind of relationship has developed. She definitely likes this man, now for the first time she is going to show her outer self completely. Be proud of your body as it is, flaunt what you are. If he is really into you, he will be simply overjoyed to see you and rejoice at who you are. If he does not ..... it is not you. He is the wrong man.
I have loved and dated women from size 8 upto size 18. There was one who was like you, very apologetic about her figure or lack of it and her over weight. I simply reached for her and kissed every square inch of her and said .......... hmmmmm more to love! For me, if I kept dating a woman before seeing her naked, then when we did get to that stage, I felt very fortunate that she loved me enough to share that much more of her. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:25:40 PM | First off, get over it - secondly,most men don't care - especially if they are being intimate with you - if you can let yourself go - the whole intimacy affair will be brought to a new light. Most men aren't that bad that they will be thinking - gee, look at the size of whatever - or look at that part giggle when it's not supposed to. Most men are into what they are doing and would honestly expect you to be as well. I suggest practicing self-affirmations every day - look at yourself honestly and ask what can you change? If anything, then make a positive change - if nothing, then learn to love yourself - you won't be able to enjoy a full, satisfying relationship if you cannot love yourself.
That's my take on it. You look fine to me. - Be fine. From one woman to another | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:43:37 PM | I hope cos I am dating a lady who is over 45, I can post here even though I am only 40
Gotta say, if he really likes you or loves you then he will accept you and your body with all it's bits as found.
Most men actually don't want perfect women, only footballers and rockstars really want models. the rest of us chaps prefer real women with real curves and flaws cos first that makes you human and not some unapproachable goddess and second cos who of us is a perfect adonis anyway.
Men also like love making so much, it's the quality of the love making and not the scenary that matters.
as my profile says
so yes women with all those bones aint a pretty site, not that I have noticed any women at the gym anyway.
hug someone new today
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:06:14 PM | When I came into this world and knew I was buck naked, I let out a HUGE wail. I cried like a baby. I was terrified of baring all. I was born so damn poor, that I had no clothes.
Fast forward 52 years. I've got a few wrinkles; a scar (from my belly button down); and padding I didn't know I had. A real man doesn't scrutinize our bodies (like a scouting agent for porno movies). What he will pick up on, is are we comfortable in our own skins. Can we do it with the lights, on, dim, or even off. Can we have fun in bed as well as out of bed. Whether we like it or not, our bodies will fail our expectations, or should I say "Hollyweird" or "fashionable". They will be out of vogue. They will reflect the wear & tear of life. It's a natural part of living. There is no perfection. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:18:09 PM | | OP, you are a beautiful woman and the truth of the matter is this, we are so much harder on ourselves than men are. Here is what you need to do, focus on him. Kiss him fully on the mouth, be very uninhibited and he will follow. Tell him how much you want and desire him and then, well you know. Oh...and leave the lights on, at least candlelight. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:24:03 PM | | If I am getting nekkid with a lady I have already decided she is good enough. I love the female body unless it is all skin and bones, and I don't spend much time around ladies that are that way. I am much more concerned about what is inside of her head and do have some standards there. I am much more concerned about how she acts and how she treats me. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:54:51 PM |
It ruins the whole experience and I just can't seem to get comfortable.
THAT is a damn shame.
Yeah, this is “Over 45" so age may seem to be an issue, but were any of us perfect 25 years ago?
Better ? Perhaps....and perhaps not.
For me, one constant, throughout “the ages”, is a smile. Nothing makes a woman
seem more attractive than one of those. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:41:21 PM | I figure any guy who has put in the time and effort to get me naked is pretty much going to accept what I have and I'll be so focused on what he's doing I won't care. Thinking about all the small stuff instead of enjoying the moment is such a mistake. When I was younger with a much hotter body, it was all about how I looked instead of who I am. I really missed out by focusing on the wrong things. If I keep his eyes focused on mine maybe he won't notice my imperfections as much. Kind of like a magic show - it's all an illusion anyways.  | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:35:46 AM |
I wonder; how do I look in this position or in this light?
I used to feel that way EVERY time I had sex...for YEARS. I used to even try to keep my body from revealing all my flaws, even while making love (or just having sex ;) But then, as I got older (and older, and older) I came to realize that while I'm far from looking like a model, in or out of clothes, I'm just as far from looking repulsive. I finally came to accept myself the way I am, even while I continue to struggle to get in better shape. I just stopped thinking about how my body looks in certain positions...and stopped trying to keep my arms clamped at my sides while lying on my back to keep my breasts from falling down there and getting lost (true story! ), and I started just enjoying the sensations.
It was hard at first, and sometimes still is. So much so, in fact, that I often turned down dates with guys I thought were "too" georgeous, for fear of not measuring up to what they're used to. I admit that I'm still a bit uncomfortable with someone with no visible flaws, but that all seems really shallow. I mean, we ALL have flaws, whether we wear them on the inside or the outside, they're there. So if our flaws just happen to be more visible than those of others, so be it. I know I'm a good person on the inside, where it should really count! | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:36:42 AM | Oh, and by the way, I'm MUCH more fun in bed now that I've let go of my insecurities and inhibitions  | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:22:46 PM | I try to focus on the more attractive parts on any woman I've been with.If she's got a nice face I focus on the face. If she's got a nice body I focus on the body. Present yourself with confidence and no mater what your going to look better presenting yourself with confidence instead of lack of confidence.
There's nothing wrong with your looks. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:48:02 PM | Okay, I have never posted before, but I just HAD to on this subject.
I need to lose 50 pounds and I am short, so the pounds show. Neverthless, I get my share of attention and even (gasp) guys who want to get naked with me.
The way I had been handling my insecurities about my naked body was to keep my eyes closed. You know, if I can't see him, he can't see me? Right???? UNTIL I was informed that in closing my eyes, I gave him every opportunity to scrutinize ME.
And here is what he said - you have a nice butt, and I love your cute freckles on your stomach, and then a few other things I can't mention here. Things I will not soon forget.
We definitely are harder on ourselves than they are. | |
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I found a woman who isn't a skinny size 10/12 woman with pelvic bones poking my eyes out, thank you.
