| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:00:34 PM | | Relax OP. You are a beautiful "WOMAN" not a teen anymore. None of look like we once did. Be confident in your desirability. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:03:17 PM | ...For some reason men seem to enjoy seeing us parade around in heels and a smile, apparently all else matters not....amazing isn't it? Gotta luv em.
...maeflowers
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:45:30 AM |
Do men analyize and scrutinize our bodies while making love?
First a caveat; OP, although I'm speaking in generalities it can only be my view of things [grins] but I bet I'm right.
Two points: It's easy when you look in the mirror to see any imperfections or deviations from "ideal" - when people are looking at you, they're noticing the attractive points. Personally I find that I may or may not find someone initially attractive - as I grow to like them I start to notice more and more attractive things about them. Contrawise, I've known some beautiful, by any standard, women who leave me completely cold as I don't trust them further than I can pee!
The other point: Attraction is more than visual - fragrance (natural or out of a bottle), feel, taste, sound... What you see is only part of the attraction you feel.
I've known a few women who have such a poor self image they've been uncomfortable with the lights on [very big grin] I'm most definitely a lights on guy - despite looking like a shaved gorilla myself. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:46:30 AM | | I would focus more on how you make the partner feel loved rather than how you look naked. My last relationship the woman was drop dead gorgeous physically but I always felt a coldness or distance in the relaitonship. In this instance I think having an alcoholic father and a mother who wasn't the touching feeling sort of mom gave her this aloof sort of vibe. We just didn't match when it came to emotional bonding and that meant more to me than her physical appearance when naked but I sure miss seeing that naked body. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:46:51 AM | Everybody has there own opinion of beauty.
We know all the cliches that can and do relate.
I wonder.. if you feel that subconscious about yourself.. if then.. you don't feel somehow "less" deserving of what you see as this "drop dead gorgeous" man?
How then could anyone relax about all the little or big flaws we know exist in and with ourselves?
Maybe.. you should try "communicating" this to and with your man?
Just a thought.
Good luck! | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:38:42 AM | Two points: It's easy when you look in the mirror to see any imperfections or deviations from "ideal" - when people are looking at you, they're noticing the attractive points. Personally I find that I may or may not find someone initially attractive - as I grow to like them I start to notice more and more attractive things about them. Contrawise, I've known some beautiful, by any standard, women who leave me completely cold as I don't trust them further than I can pee!
...I can relate to that..... after being around someone for any length of time I stop looking at the outside and more than not, have found qualties in them that I find so very attractive, like the way their eyes twinkle when they smile or the sound of their laughter....that sort of thing.
I've known a few women who have such a poor self image they've been uncomfortable with the lights on [very big grin] I'm most definitely a lights on guy - despite looking like a shaved gorilla myself.
....Oh boy, I know what you mean, theres nothing like making whoopee in the wee hours of the morn....
And btw.....the shaved gorilla look can be very becoming.
...maeflowers
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:50:34 AM | ....And good wine "
If he loves ya, your body shape is not going to matter one single bit."
yeah lets don't forget the wine....
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:02:55 AM | | Do men actually look? Once you get started, tear off your clothes, I don't think they even care what you look like. They are focused on the end result. My ex once shaved his beard off (which I hated) and I didn't even notice for a week. I have had long hair, cut it short, and my ex wouldn't even notice for weeks. Now, you can see why we are Ex's. If you are the only woman in the room, they don't care what you look like. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:05:02 PM | I haven't read every response so I'm not sure if this has been covered.
As my friend and I complained that our bodies didn't look like we were 20 anymore, she said: "When I'm making love to my boyfriend, I try to think...I'm the hottest naked woman in the room and it makes me feel better"!
I thought that was a great idea! | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:12:17 AM | a topic that hits very close to home...
it's great when you can connect with someone who just doesn't give a damn, and where you rock each others socks off, and like another said, just likes you for YOU or they most likely never would've tried getting you into bed after already having a clue to our lumps and bumps that we abhor.
enjoy the chemistry.
life is too short. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:23:40 AM | What Mz Taken said! I agree 100%.
I think Americans in general have body insecurities. I used to do haz mat work and you could only wear a paper suit, rubber boots and gloves, and respirator. Everyone had to shower out. NO ONE was "right". Actually, I laugh about it today . . . so relax, enjoy, and be you. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:51:18 PM | Some years ago I visited a "clothing optional" swimming place. It took me about 30 minutes to realize there are NO ugly people. There were fat people and skinny people, and short and tall, very young and very old. There was a surprisingly very few of any age or gender that could really be described as 'hot'. It was actually pretty much like any normal crowd of people except everyone was naked.
Sure there are a few beautiful people but most of us are not really ever in our lives "beautiful".
If a person is spending time with you in a romantic context then it has already been decided that you are acceptable, as far as that person is concerned.
The beauty thing is a myth propagated by the media and ad agencies to sell you stuff you probably don't really need.
I'd suggest you walk around the house naked when you are alone until you are reasonable comfortable with yourself. Look in the mirror from time to time and remind yourself you are ok.
I wonder if the ability we have to cover up our physical flaws with cloths allows us to ignore those extra pounds or rolls of flesh or time lines. If we can cover it up it may go away. Maybe spending more time naked, would encourage is to take a little better care of ourselves. | |
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I purr
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Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 64 | |
| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:31:23 PM | OH, ladies and gentlemen. Unless all your parts are bought and paid for and you work out like the movie stars are you will not be perfect. I would hope that if I were with a man, any man & woman together, NEITHER one of us would be analizing and scrutinizing each others body while making love. Clothes can hide a multitude of sins but come on gals he gets the general shape of you. Enjoy what God gave you. Empty sex is just that and maybe then someone might be analizing but I doubt it. Take your time or just go for it. And love every inch of yourself.
I would want to think that we would just be totally into each other and a few extra pounds here and there, breast that are no longer like that of a 20 yr old, or a butt that got a little rounder would just be the objects of plesure. In doubt, make sure you control the situtation. Candle light gives the skin a nice glow and softens the situtation. Use lotion, or have him use it on you and both have some fun. I bet he will not be focusing on any pounds that are misplaced. :) Have a nittie at hand to slip on later. But really, gals, love yourself and he will do the same. Some men are jerks but I would hope this would be one time he was not. Ya know he would be naked too, and men have love handles as well, they also have boney legs and can be losing hair, lilly white etc. No one is perfect. He is not and we are not. Personally, I love every inch of me and i make sure he does not miss one inch either. Sex is in the tease, the taste, the touch and the smell. So, ladies, going out or having someone over, take that scented bubble bath, use that nice lotion, use a dab of perfune and put on your best fitting garments from the inside out. Make yourself feel good and you will be fine.
Do yourself a favor and strip in front of the mirror and find all the good places. There is underware and night things made to fit all kinds of bodies. Go find the things that fit you the best. When your clothes don't fit, or underware, you will not feel your best. Then as these things come off, just enjoy the moment. Try it! | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:15:11 PM | Cindy, if you skimmed over this one and didn't take it seriously, read it again:
you wanna feel good about your body??? Spend a weekend at a nudist resort . Believe me you'll come away thinking you're a goddess when you are around people that believe being naked is beautiful no matter what you look like.
You're living right there in the Nudist Resort Capital of the U.S. and this lady knows what she's talking about. It's not what you may be thinking. And it's convenient, it's a great way to totally relax for a day or a weekend, and vaporizing body image issues is their specialty. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:53:23 PM | Its funny, I spent years being insecure about my body, but now that its got a lot less going for it, I am so much more comfortable with my own skin. In fact, I probably feel better about the naked part than any other. Anyone who sees me naked now is gonna be special. He won't be the kind of guy who is looking for some mythical perfect body, but one who can appreciate real intimacy, real passion, and a real good time! One of the benefits of age, I guess.
Cat | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:11:18 PM |
Do men analyize and scrutinize our bodies while making love?
I have been struggling with a weight problem most of my life and I can tell you from experience that if a man really likes you?? if he is a good man.. not selfish but is selfless.. he will not scrutinize your body.
Even though I am pretty sad looking naked.. the men I have been with tend to focus on what they like about my body.. So.. lets say I have a big belly I hate.. they will focus on my breasts.. my neck.. my legs..my back.. my face.. my eyes.. etc..
Most men are so insecure about their own naked bodies that they won't notice yours..
I think that we sometimes think that a man can't tell if we have certain problem areas with our bodies.. believe me.. they can tell but it doesn't make any different to them.. believe me.. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:34:03 PM | I've always been insecure about my body....when I was younger, I overcame this, by spending money on good lingerie.....corset, or garter belt, with stockings, the whole works. They didn't see my body till they were past the excitement of seeing the corset, etc. ...and then it didn't matter.
Are we too old for this now?
~DC~ | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:06:14 PM | You are a clever gal Dceeee!  I only learned to lace it up, gift-wrap it I guess, in more recent years.
There are plenty of UP-sides to great lingerie:
1. As you mention, lingering over lingerie initiates the excitement before the skin is revealed
2. It sometimes adds to the fantasy element -- what might be under there today?
3. Of course those ripples on my flesh are just patterns created by the lace -- honest -- no cellulite here
I'm not sure about the garter belt. Those were the things that we had to wear in middle school (girls were not allowed to wear slacks or jeans) to hold up our stockings. I don't think that pantyhose were invented. Those clips just don't seem sexy to me. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:20:37 PM | amo-vida, I know the garter belts you are refering to, as I also went to school in the days of no slacks or jeans allowed and before the invention of pantyhose, (which I now think are ugly)
But when it is a long lacy bra with matching lacy panties and garter belt, it's a LOT different than what we wore then.....then there is the corset with the garters attached..then the garter belt is no longer necessary.
If you just learned it in recent years, and are over 50 also, can I assume we can still wear it without looking like we are trying to be 'youngsters'? I have no idea what the guys our age want/like.....my last guy wasn't into it, but he doesn't necessarily speak for the majority....right?....or not? Just curious.
~DC~ *wondering if they even MAKE them for our age ...allowing for the darn middle-age spread...LOL* | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:10:14 AM | | my ex-girlfreind who was 130 felt very VERY insucure about her body . she never wantred any lights on or for me to see her naked . SHE said she looked fat . yeah sure . a woman who is 130 looks fat and the chubby ones don't ? | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:49:23 AM | | I know I am chubby and fat, so what? If a man does not like it and is not sexually attracted to me and my body he does not need to be there. Has nothing to do with the sexy lingerie that I like to wear or the fact that I like to leave the lights on. | |
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| feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:02:58 AM | Isn't this all much ado about nothing? Yes, women will scruitinize themselves and their bodies from about the time they are 12 until they pick out the dress they will wear in eternity. So what? Some men do as well.
At this stage of our lives, if we are in a position to see our partner naked, to make love with her, whether in the dark of night or in broad daylight, it isn't the body that you are attracted to, it's the woman herself, otherwise, we wouldn't be there. When a man reaches for you in the middle of the night, and pulls you to him, do you honestly think it's because of the appearance of your body in his eyes?
Personally, I enjoy seeing my partner (When I have one) in lingerie, or a nighty or simply panties... Yes, I'm going to see her naked at some point, but, like a kid at Christmas, there is a lot to be said for the excitement of unwrapping one's "gifts". And yes.... it IS a gift.
Like I said - otherwise, I wouldn't be there. | |
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