| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:40:59 AM | ******Anyway if he has kids that come first and I have kids that come first, all the kids can come first together and we can just sit and get drunk.....win/win!! ******
To funny 
PS I dont know how to do that box thing when ppl are quoting others ?????? | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 77 | |
| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:45:19 AM | I had lunch with a mate of mine who is a single Dad today..I hope nobody saw me with him...the shame of it.  (I'm just kidding too, in case the laughing icon doesn't cover it...)
If people (men or women) are being rejected in the dating world because they've got kids, then I don't think the answer is to simply label those who didn't want to date them as threatened and shallow and whatever else. Merrymaid had a point earlier, although the word "undatable" was a bit much in my view...but if you have young kids it means that your search for a partner is obviously narrowed to those who would ultimately be willing to be a step-parent...because down the track, if things work out between you, that's what will occur when you merge lives. If they don't want to date you cos of the kids, doesn't mean they look down on you or think there is a stigma...it's just not what they want for their life.
But hey...what single person doesn't have their dating field narrowed by some paramater/expectation/lifestyle choice? When you're dating, no point casting criticism against those whose dating paramaters you don't meet... but just keep an eye out for those whose you do. | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:48:12 AM |
PS I dont know how to do that box thing when ppl are quoting others ??????
what like this :)
just cut and paste what you want to quote then type [ quote ] at the beginning and [ /quote ] to end it and will do it automaticaly but type it without the spaces between the brakets as writen on the side of your texting page i caut and paste the quote bit as well, you'll see good luck | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:53:24 AM |
I had lunch with a mate of mine who is a single Dad today
Damn, he's clever.....I wish I could be a single dad just for today.....
But seriously, I do believe the age of the kids and the age of the potential partner can have a bearing on compatibiity. But not in all cases.
Kids aren't the only factor though. Education level (or inteligence level) for example can also have a bearing and can turn away, or attract a potential partner the same way having kids or not can also.
Sometimes we place too much emphasis why someone wasn't attracted to us, and we need to just move on. That person can become a good friend sometimes, as opposed to a partner. | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:38:31 AM | I wouldnt say exactly a stigma - these days.
I find a caring, well adjusted honest male to be quite a catch - kids or not. I think the issue a lot of men amd women face is that when they are separated with kids involved it that it becomes an ongoing emotional 'battle'. Different to splitting without ties and going separate ways.
I still experence the anger and hate coming from my ex, I'm sure other people see it to when his msn has a comment such as 'all the good women in this world are taken or is it as my friend says - there is no such thing'. This kind of attitude does not incite love or desire of any kind, perhaps other than to smack him about the head and say pull your head in mate.
Honestly I would look more towards a man with children as then there is no pressure for me to be popping any more out myself hehe that is not going to happen! | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:38:54 AM |
I am happy to meet a single mum but having more ??? is a scary thought
lol and how many ppl ask if you are going to have more kids?????? I am 8 years short of being free of kiddie responsibility why on earth would I start again........................... I cherish my kids but for many reasons will not be having more.
I've heard vasectomy is fabulous hehehehe | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:09:14 AM | Geees Abbie you are looking forward to being kid free you already worked it out only eight more years,,, I hadn't thought of that yet lol but then I have family down here to take the presure of so I get all the adult time I need to survive.
BTW I miss ya mate   | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:08:48 AM | AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW see friends like u is all I need Missin u 2 and thinkin that just the other day. Catch up soon.
Heheheheh am kid free till thurs - shame I have to work.
Ive had that time worked out for ages - like my Dad the ladder goes under the window at 15 lol. | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:15:07 AM | | Hey Rama , thank you for the help with the quoting thing ... i still managed to quote the person and myself when i posted ???? but hey there is one in every crowd isnt there | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:40:15 AM |
Hey Rama , thank you for the help with the quoting thing ... i still managed to quote the person and myself when i posted ????
you have to put the end quote [/ quote] at the end of what your quoting then put your reply :)
but hey there is one in every crowd isnt there
dont forget there the ones that get noticed and any publicity is good publicicty
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:44:36 AM |
you have to put the end quote [/ quote] at the end of what your quoting then put your reply :) [end quote] In the words of Homer Simpson DOH !!!!!! | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:46:36 AM | | i am not going to try to put other posters quotes in the box anymore ..... i am just proving to everyone here that i am not to bright and i do not like it | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/15/2008 4:47:37 AM | hey Rama
i agree with your"if a bloke is 30+and has never settled down he never will"
i dont think there is a stigma against "single dads" its probably hostorically u didnt find many single dads. dont worry dads im not saying that you didnt want to be single dads but the courts were structured that way and "historically" kids have usually remained with mum.
I think more men are spending more time with their kids, whether that be 50/50 share or raising their kids as single dads. But it is still not the "norm" and im sure you'll probably find some women are surprised. As far as women logging off mid conversation once they find out your a sole dad, perhaps some women dont want a man with kids. just like some guys dont want women with kids- just my thoughts | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/15/2008 5:07:24 AM | speaking from my point of view.......i think that i am lucky having met someone that already has children as well (i have 2 and she has 2) i went on a few dates before meeting my partner and it usually ended up that as soon (or not long after) that i mentioned i had children the other person disappeared. it didnt happen all the time, but most times, yes. so after that happened a few times i started looking to dates other single parents instead of people with no children and it seemed to work for me, i must admit i get some odd looks from the family assistance people when i go to update any of my details or i have to fill in any paperwork. sort of along the lines of....your a guy....shouldnt the mother be doing this?????
but i just laugh to myself and keep going knowing that i have the love of my children to keep me going!!! | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/16/2008 8:10:27 PM | I really think it's just a preference. I love my friends kids but I don't want to date someone with kids. Been there, done that, waayyy too much drama. Just a preference, that's all  | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:48:09 AM | Is there?? that's why my single male friends ask to borrow my kids, to get womens attention in shopping centers.
I live in Tasmania, here, single dads are far and few, and can I please meet a dozen of them?? | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:08:55 AM | yeah, you'll find a lots of us up here, I am getting to know more and more now and it means the competition is getting harder.... lol
but thanks all for your views food for thought | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:35:33 PM | An observation from the other side of the fence:
Single males between 20 to 65 without any sign of having children or grandchildren
of their own can not linger around primary schools or kindies, can not play with children, can not make a friendly comment to a girl at a bus station and many other things without being suspected of being a devo or a child molester. 
Its like a friend of mine once said:
If you want to pick up girls get yourself a dog and take him for a walk every day. The fact that you have a dog makes you an instant good guy, safe, with good morals and family values.
It doesnt give women much credit. 
No, i didnt get a dog | |
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| why is there a stigma against single dads
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:50:53 AM | Single Dads get my respect straight up. If the dad is fighting for the childrens rights then that is even better. This does not mean that you are instantly a good guy it just indicates that there is a chance that we have similar morals.
If you are talking to a woman and they stop talking to you after you mention your children, they are obviously not right for you. I know if this happens to me ( which it does) I loose all respect for the person I was talking to, someone who comes into my life whether it be a short time or long time need to respect and appreciate the fact that I have children and they are and always will be a part of my life and their needs will always come first. My kids are my responsibility where as a future partner is responsible for themselves.
Rama you are a great dad and any woman that does not appreciate that fact would not be worth getting to know,, your kids deserve better than that. | |
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