| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:32:14 AM | | ask them.. lol that made my day. If you were talking to rationale people you might get an answer but we all can dream. maybe if some explaining could help you know what you doing wrong. But usually its superficail reasons , like organ size, money etc.. and they feel shallow answering you. Bro, its all about who can do more, they were probably more interested in next b/c he could do more for her and that what she thought. Dont let it get you down. Thats the world we live in, just move on to next. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:52:08 AM |
I'll be completely honest here, I really have no idea how to go about that. I know next to nothing about the initial stages of a relationship. I think society has scared me into thinking anything flirtatious would be misconstrued as being sexual harassment, so thus I just usually avoid it entirely. Not that I really know how anyways.
I think we're getting somewhere. She's depending on you to take the initial. The problem is if you're not showing her you are a sexual person she will catagorise you as a friend.
First thing is eye contact, give her strong direct eye contact, but not so much that you come accross as a stalker. Next SMILE! Any female will tell you the importance of smiling. Touch, give her light brushes and touches, friendly people touch eachother. Tease her a little, be playful and fun. Be exciting and try not to be too predictable. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:08:10 PM | I've done that before and they still classify me as a friend or whatever the heck women say. And I have found that it's not reciprocated so I don't bother anymore. Why waste my time doing such things when they don't show any interest at all?
This is why I'd prefer if a woman approached me. Then I'd know she was interested and would be receptive to my flirting. Women play too many mind games and seem to never want to tell the guy they're interested (or perhaps in my case they just aren't). | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:00:31 PM |  I 100% agree with you. I usually do better when I get approached. But I've found that creating sexual tension always works well.
With regards to the mind games, well goodness knows what goes on in their heads, I still cant figure them out, you can do everything right and they lose interest, and other times you completely balls it up and get results! Also understand the woman can be just as confused as you, especially if you dont make your intentions clear, and as they base their attraction on a number of factors, her attraction for you may increase and decrease throughout your date.
Just gotta hang in there, build from your experiences and learn from your mistakes  | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:02:08 PM | | Call me a noob, but what exactly does "sexual tension" mean? | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:17:21 PM |
@ml456: You seem to have a lot of good points in what I've read from you.
Thanks for the compliment. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:24:42 PM | Not sure I really get that. I've done all of that, and no dice...
@ml456: You're welcome. :) | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:21:00 PM | | People filter themselves out if they feel they are not right for each other. One or the other will opt out and it's not a bad thing but a result of a natural, instinctive knowledge that it's unlikely to work. I do believe that if you have doubts about the other person, even minor ones, they will show through in some way and the other will pick up on it at some level. Maybe you are pickier than you think. Sometimes we show more than we realise. Maybe you cannot hide your instinctive responses to the other person and they pick up on them and decide against another date. You really need to find someone you feel entirely happy with for them to pick up on your positive vibes. One day the right person will be there and it will seem easy - you will click. Maybe all you need is to feel confident that that will happen when it is right. It might take longer, so you may need to decide to be patient. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:56:57 PM |
why do I never get a 2nd date? Am I just dating the wrong women or...? Thanks for any advice/help/suggestions
You have to use your spine and ASK for another date. Ask at the end of the first date, don't wait for her to call/write you back a week later. SHE is waiting on YOU. If you don't make the move, most likely it will NEVER happen.
It also helps if you tell them you enjoyed their company and you think they are nice. YES YOU HAVE TO SAY IT.
....sigh....  | |
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MikeAZ
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:35:47 PM | | After every date I've felt good about, I've asked for another date, they invariably say yes and to call or email, etc, and they disappear when I make contact after that. The one girl who had the cajones to say no but that she'd like to friends and keep in contact, said that you have to play games, wait a few days to make them wonder if you liked her or not, and then call again to ask for the second date. I hate that kind of thing, but its a tactic worth trying. But then again, the girl who told me this is one of those types who sometimes says one thing and does another (ironically the last guy she went out with asked her again on the first date and she accepted), and she's one of those serial dater types as mentioned earlier in the thread, so I dont know... | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:42:03 PM | OP: If you don't have friends that are good with women, go on youtube for about two or three solid days straight and look at material from PUA's. That will give you all you need to know about how to handle yourself with, and approach, a girl.
Ask at the end of the first date, don't wait for her to call/write you back a week later. SHE is waiting on YOU.
Unless sparks fly and you make out with the girl, or the girl initiates this line of conversation, NEVER do this! It's anti-challenge! Girls like a challenge -- this builds attraction, which is what you want.
Most girls will not respond positively to pressuring her for another date so quickly, whether they know it or not. Wait a few days to ask again. Call, and talk 5 or 10 minutes tops. If she freaks out because it's been 2 or 3 days, then you don't want to have anything to do with her anyways.
Now, if you just can't help yourself and have to ask her, at the very least, make the plans definitive: "I'll pick you up thursday at 7pm for dinner at Gloria's". This way she has something to look forward to, rather than reflecting back on the date and trying to back out of it. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:33:42 PM |
It also helps if you tell them you enjoyed their company and you think they are nice. YES YOU HAVE TO SAY IT.
So true! The end of the first date might be one of the most important moments of the whole date. You don't neccessarily have to set up for a second date right then, but you at least should make it known that you had a good time and you would like to see her again. If you say something along the lines of "I had a good time, we should do this again soon" then you will be able to evaluate her interest in you based on her response. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/27/2008 3:36:58 AM | | Apparently some of you didn't read the entire thread or I didn't post this, but I DID ask her out for a 2nd date, and I did tell her I had a good time (the most recent woman I went out with). And I did wait a couple days to contact her. And I did really click with her, she was amazing IMO, but I guess she just didn't feel the same way. | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:29:20 PM | join the club I also am wondering the exact same thing about men! | |
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| No 2nd Dates?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:25:24 PM | Aww well for what it's worth, I'd date ya if you lived closer.  | |
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