| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:42:56 AM |
Thinking that maybe you are being too demanding in what you want the other person to be?
Nope, not at all.
It takes a lot to make me happier in a relationship than I am when I'm single. If I have to remain single to stay happy until someone I really connect with comes along, so be it.
I don't really believe in mixing finances outside of marriage, anyway. Sharing bank accounts, housing, cars, or anything else while in a legally uncommitted relationship seems extremely risky to me. With my roommate all I have to deal with is half the rent and utilities, which cuts back on expenses enough for me to feel more than secure with my income. That leaves me with no reason to enter a relationship with someone that I don't want to be with. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:12:28 AM | Good post MedinaMan, I've noticed that too. I like to add from my experiences with some women - her money is hers, your money is hers. I don't believe all women are like that, but I've been unfortunately unlucky with being with the selfish ones.
Anyways, there seems to be an overlooked problem when having a room mate to help take care of expenses:
Common sense about human nature is that having someone help with the bills, frees up cash! Then that new found extra cash gives in to a awakening to go on a spending spree, depleting the chance of any future money that should be put in the bank. People do it all the time; sloppiness.
Also, having a room mate can be annoying (bad habits) and if they are not very conservative, they can actually be more costly to have around (higher food and ultility bills)...and what if the room mate happens to be short on funds? (wow dude, I'm sorry man)
My point is that if desperation leads to finding someone to help out financially, in the end, never really gets ahead.
I'd rather run a tight ship than look for a free ride. | |
|
| |
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:39:22 AM | LOL! Did you bump your head or what? Everytime a guys says to me that "we should pool our resources".....I know he can't make his car payment that month!
Would you consider changing what you are looking for being more open to someone so that you can combind resources? I would be more open with resources IF they were otherwise the things that I'm looking for, but NO, I would definitely not accept less than I'm looking for just because of "resources".
Are you starting to reconsider what you are doing? Ahhhh, yup...paying my bills and doing what I want to do what's left over each month.
Also people are becoming ill all the time. Is this on your mind? No, not really. Worring won't stop it....and that's what I have good health insurance for.
People also die unexpectedly. LOL! and lowering the standards of what you're willing to accept in a relationship is going to STOP this from happening.....HOW?
Thinking that maybe you are being too demanding in what you want the other person to be? LOL! NOPE, if anything.....the things you mention make me think that maybe I need to be a little MORE picky.....but not less. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:09:03 AM |
In this thread (and others) I see women protesting the absurdity of marrying for money (condensed version) but I have yet to meet a woman who doesnt factor that into the ability of a man they first meet to "take care of them",
Well, now you can say you've at least cyber-met one, MedinaMan; not only do I not factor in a man's ability to "take care of me," but I've turned several down on dating sites specifically because they were in too high an income bracket. And although I've seen many profiles of women like the ones you describe - and, to be honest, have met/talked to many irl - I don't believe for a minute that there aren't lots other women who, like me, wouldn't dream of choosing or using a man for his money. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:27:15 AM | Yes, there are lots of women in this day and age who do want a man to take care of them as the example in medinaman's post. However, some people seem to think that this is a "wrong" idea. Just like there are others who are extremely against a man taking care of them in any way.
While, it may be wrong for many of us, for others they still see marriage and men and women's roles like that. Women who want children generally look for a man that is able to take care of her and the coming child. It's instinctive, just as men will look for a woman capable of carrying a child in good health.
So if a woman writes in her profile that she is looking for a man to take care of her, why should anyone care except the man who reads that and wants to take care of her?
Frankly, I'm easy going and always expect to pay my half, but will accept when someone offers to pay. I understand the whole "yes, we have this whole equality thing, but men still like to be a gentleman". I also pay for things too. $20 here or there has never been a big issue for me. When taken advantage of, yes it is however.
Don't contact or complain about others who clearly know what they want. So it's not YOU - big deal, it will be what someone else wants. What's interesting is how some men seem to go on and on about these women who are like this. It almost gives me the impression that these ARE the women that these men are attracted to. The old hate/love aspect right?
I like it when my man pays for me and buys me things. Heck what woman doesn't?! For that matter what PERSON doesn't like getting little gifts or having their lunch paid for?! That doesn't mean we all expect it.
Most men and women are trying to change our mentality, but when you are raised in the environment where the man does pay for everything and takes care of the woman, it is difficult to break out of that. We are all extremely influenced by our parents and how they related and went about their day to day. The whole equality thing is still going on - why worry so much about it.
When two people are in love, they are not worrying about money. It's only when things go sour that people start thinking that their partner was a money grubber, cheap etc. | |
|
| |
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:34:46 AM | If you think right now it's scary, imagine being kicked out of your house and nailed for alimony, child support and mortgage, and on top of that having to find a way to keep living.
Bad economy is a signal to remain single, not to get married. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:56:40 AM | Yeah, I don't get the alimony thing.....but in general the courts favour women, so it really sucks for the good men out there who haven't done anything wrong.
I've seen both sides of the story so I know that both men and women can get screwed over big time.
Here's the thing though, I think that women think that men get more affected by loss of money etc., than say getting cheated on. Most times, the story goes: man cheats on woman, woman takes him for everything he's got. When a woman cheats on a man, he generally just leaves or sometimes even tries to win the woman back. These are extremes in both cases, but that's what one sees the most.
So how did we come about these types of actions? Who "set" our mind-set to think like that? Maybe it's the whole "take care of me" (woman) thing that's been around for centuries? Or perhaps it's merely biological? Sex does have its power. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:56:44 AM | | It's one of the reasons my last relationship ended. Rent is getting so crazy that half my pay check each month goes to it. So yeah, I wouldn't mind finding a partner that I could live with in the long term to split the bills. If that's what both partners want and they are ready for the commitment - why not? It makes sense finanically. However, that being said, I wouldn't make the move until it felt right - not because I wanted to save money, but because we were both ready for that commitment. Money's tight, but I'm managing ok on my own too. | |
|
| |
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:08:16 AM | OP , Food for thought  Yes the economic news is scary, and there is a shift happening within the globe. Let us open this topic a little more. Thank god we are becoming aware that people are becoming ill all the time more often now than ever I question why is this happening? and the expense whether you are living single, even married, definately is out of control, Foreclosures are at it's highest ever ! again why is this happening? Medical costs are out of control ..... Food, Fuel, Living expenses, Just suppose, and please keep an open mind here lets explore this further. Lets question why people are sick now more than ever? Could this be from the fast food eateries that are all over the place? sure fast food eateries has made it easier for us to eat on the run from our hectic life syle because a lot of people are to busy holding down 2 jobs to make ends meet to pay for the expensive houses that are out of control as far as prices are concerned yet we allowed this because we kept buying the houses and land.... and now we are discovering how these fast food industries are making us obese, sick, etc... we are now not buying houses because we can no longert afford them... now as we run to the medical industry to help us , we are prescribed a medication for an illness / or even a suggestion for surgery ?? to make us feel better/ even look better , yet sometimes that precription brings on another ailment then another medication is what the doctor orders to make the new illness go away- with luck it will. Pesticides are being sprayed / chickens, pigs, cows are being injected god knows with what to keep us safe from what? But i keep hearing we are getting sick from this more now than ever... Why is that??
The stuff they are using are killing us with the ingredients we are digesting ??? I question this all the time?? .... now we are seeking more medical help /advice ?? why is tomatoes being recalled?? Why was spinache recalled and pulled off the shelves there were a lot of people who became ill from this... I believe there was canned goods pulled off the shelves as well, my goodness even dog food !! Baby bottles are being recalled due to the chemicals in the plastic, Tephlon pots n' pans are going to be recalled , god knows what is laced in those tephlon pans.... that i have been cooking with for years....
What the hell are they spraying?? What are we eating ??? The government says we need the pesticides? ok we cant fight the government , what they say goes...
Why are there so many forclosures and people homeless ?? this is the repercussion of real estate .. i like to say some people are getting their karma returned here.. Now we are over our heads and we cant afford to pay for it anymore , now here comes the forclosures, keep in mind they put a tag/price on it, and yet we bought ?? where does the blame lye here. ok i'm going off here, probably because im angry about what is going on with this universal shift, im tired of seeing another homeless person who cant feed themselves and now there are children effected by all this and have been globe wise , i apologize, i realize i should put this anger to better use, to not be angry and turn it around to a positive issue and help one of those homeless families i see begging for a few dollars on the corner because it doesnt seem like the government is being to quick to resolve what is happening here, i realize it will depend on us , " WE THE PEOPLE ", Hmmm, i heard that from somewhere so long ago... so you ask am i starting to reconsider things here, i guess i'am and as you OP bought up this topic i guess we all are, i pray....
Demanding , yes maybe so , demanding for some answers i would like some answers , answers from the guy who has all the answers why this is happening cause i cant listen to the television, nor the media they just make me more confused with double talk of messages...I wont even go there !
anyone else care to join in , i think i' ve lost it somewhere as these things run thru my mind with questions....no OP i dont think i'am demanding, angry yes... I would like some answers, but answers from the higher officials.....ok i hope i came across for you to understand what i was trying to say.... anyone else on this topic im exhausted
 | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:17:08 AM | Living shouldn't be so expensive. And it isn't. The basics aren't expensive. But the thing is, do you really need so many brand-clothes? the 4-bedrooms house? The SUV? All the cable channels?
My experience tells me that being married is a lot more expensive than being single. When I was married, I had always money problems. After the divorce, I earned the same amount. But miraculously, I found out that I had money to spare. Suddenly, there were bills that disappeared, travels that weren't started, parties I wouldn't go, dresses, shoes and makeup that I didn't pay, etc. Suddenly, clothes started to last more, needing less laundering, etc.
Wanna save money? Stop believing that you need everything new and improved, and learn to live within your means. It's not hard to do. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:28:30 AM | | No OP, that's what you call desperacy, and no-one could seriously want to be in a relationship with someone just because the other person is getting desperate. If you end up alone, you end up alone, but life is too precious to settle for compromises through the fear of it. Personally I'd rather end up alone than desperately lonely because I'm with the wrong person. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:28:56 AM | For me, I find that I spend a lot more money when I'm dating then when I'm single. I don't believe in making the guy always pay, so I'll grab dinner and drinks about half the time. Given that most guys can eat and (in particular) drink far more than I do, I'm pretty sure I often spend more money on him than the other way around!
Plus, as sad as it is, there are just certain expensive "nights out" that you just don't do alone or with friends. No going away for a romantic weekend, or doing the 1 week last minute Mediterranean cruise, or doing fine dining once a month, etc etc.
I haven't ever pooled resources before, but mainly that is because I always end up in a situation were we are both home owners. To get me to sell my house is probably wedding ring territory. Now, keeping both places and renting one out is possible, but that hasn't happened yet.
Long story short -- being single is cheaper for me! | |
|
| |
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:38:44 AM | I don't have this problem. I am just fine on my own.
Message 51:
I see women protesting the absurdity of marrying for money (condensed version) but I have yet to meet a woman who doesnt factor that into the ability of a man they first meet to "take care of them"
I would not marry for money and I would not marry without money. Clear enough?
Plus I agree: Bad economy is a signal to remain single, not to get married. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:50:45 AM | Well, I'm fearful of the economy, but oddly enough, the worse the economy gets, the better I do. I would be insanely happy if I could convince my boyfriend to move in, but that's not going to happen as far as I can tell (long distance relationship). I know I need to come up with my next plan for what I'm going to do in x number of years if my boyfriend stays around (which I hope he does). Long distance dating is getting expensive.
Now would I change what I want to get a live-in boyfriend? Nope. I could cut my lifestyle down. I'd even squish myself and my stuff into an efficiency apartment if I needed to. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:19:27 PM | How about this? We all have had people show an interest in us. Romantic interest. Want to be in a relationship interest. Suppose you really believe they do care? They do mean what they say? But we have chosen to pass on them in the past and we aren't connecting with anyone for awhile. Another if they really love us? Do you take a chance? You miss not being in a relationship? Are you tired of living a sexless life?You are not getting any younger? Health concerns? Family passing on? Or bad relationship with them. Have you noticed that their are people here that you might be interested in if they lived closer? Maybe you don't marry but you come to a agreement. Maybe each puts up some kind of money security? Like rent security? There are also people out there that do have good character. Plus aren't most of us at least those of us not married or in a relationship losers in this area anyway? That is if we really want one?
One of the things I check out here is the section "who viewed me". I have found that there are a number of women checking out my profile who live a distance away. Why are they doing that? Are they open to a long distance relationship? Just curious because of a posting I made have placed? Some areas are hit harder economically than others. What about just being roommates? The rents are going up alot here. It is also becoming difficult to find reasonible priced apartments. | |
|
| |
| |
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:00:00 PM | Yes it is becoming too expensive to live single. That is why since my divorce of almost 2 years ago, I continue to live with my best friend and his g/f. Even with travling 30 miles each way twice a week to see my child and every other weekend of having her, I am saving $400 a month in the situation I am in now.
I could make it on my own, but don't want to live payday to payday.
As far as the thread goes, there is no way in HE double hockey sticks am I going to be with a woman just so I can save money. Heck I wouldn't have divorced my 6 digit income wife if it were all about money.
This thread is a great topic, but it also shows how desparate people are. I will so be by myself and pick and choose what I want and need in life before I live with a woman I don't really want to be with. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:04:18 PM | | When I moved out 3 years ago, I found a small place that I could afford on my own. My husband got a roommate because he wanted to keep the house. There are ways to make it without compromising for a less-than ideal relationship to combine resources. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:10:47 PM | | since the available pool of non-jerk men is so low, i figure i should provide happiness to two women and combine resources even more. neither one of them would even need to work provided they appreciate living a life devoid of excessive consumerism as would be more expected if they aren't drawn to jerks. | |
|
| Is it getting to expensive to continue to live single?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:21:37 PM | I think if anything you're at an advantage if you live alone. As far as I can see you are in charge of your lifestyle so you do exactly what is needed to be done in order to maximize how far your dollar goes. So if you move in with someone else, all of the sudden I can foresee arguments, and people doing things their own way, which in turn does not maximize the dollar..
When I think about it my money will not go as far, if I lived with someone else. | |
|
Home
login 
