| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:59:50 AM |
Yes, I met him. We actually had plans to go out this weekend and I haven't heard a word from him since Tuesday. We IM'd during the day on Tuesday and come Wednesday, no communication at all.
So it sounds like you live close by enough and know enough about him, i.e., contact info, to rule out the possibility that something has happened to him that would prevent him from contacting you - some sort of emergency, illness, or injury? | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:06:03 AM | My assumption of not meeting him face to face then is off....
and i suppose a "computer virus" sounds mighty lame. Got his phone number?
Call...and ask...
Someone that values you, though, esp with preset forthcoming plans...
certainly "should'nt" have been incommunicado...
but those "shoulda-coulda-woulda" deals... | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:11:43 AM | Seriously I see this all the time and I don't know if people think they are being kinder by not telling you the truth or what. I remember teenagers having more guts and honor to tell the truth than some older adults.
Personally one thing you have to remember, If someone really wants you they will move heaven and earth to get to you .
Don't take it personally we all have issues and hopefully the door was shut so another can open.
Press on
Colleen | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:25:04 AM | | be thankful that this occurred before it got too serious. There's no shortage of players out here in the "Land of the Lost". Many of us have been burned this way, some of us much, much worse. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:33:01 PM | | A truck ran over him, i saw it on the news at 10, you're a cute one, someone nice is looking for you!!! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:50:56 PM | | ditto girlfriend. I met someone on another sight and basically same thing happened. I atleast got the 'not ready yet' however, not knowing what you two talked about, on this end I think it may be because he is scared. Scared that hitting it off so well could lead to disaster. I don't get it but am giving him time. Maybe yours just needs the time to think. Not sure how long u dated either so maybe like some of us women, he is waiting for the bad to show not realizing that it may never be. Assuming the worst is bad idea. Give him time and just ask for explanation so you can better understand then leave him alone once you get it so he can decide. Hardest thing to do when heart is breaking but if u think he is worth it then it will be and he will see that. Good Luck | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:59:14 PM | I've been deeply wounded. . .wait while I get the plasters out... my a*rse. What are ya on woman?
if you're gonna do this, develop a thicker skin. you'll need it.
or, just laugh it off, as i do. ditto!!
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:01:41 PM | Yes you need to develop a thicker skin, yes, he may be a jerk and yes he may have had an accident. Twice in my "internet experiences" has this happened. Once, a gentleman did not contact me for a very one period of time. He had a stroke. The other time, I was daily chatting with a guy who did lived rather far away, we were starting to make plans for meeting up but nothing was set in stone. I sent an IM one day and got a message back asking if I knew where said person was. I told them what I know and later found out he had gone for a motorcycle ride and was in a crash! The family asked if I wanted to attend the funeral!
It was sad, but I wasn't deeply wounded! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:06:14 PM | | Op sorry this happened to you. It is wrong. This is usual I think for guys. I have have several conversations with women and poof they are gone. I hope not everyone is like this. I am not.Even if I feel differently or change my mind I say that. The internet is the new psychotic age. I have found almost zero simple courtesy. My suggestion is let it go and is not you. Hope you have better luck. Regards. LOL the song "fake it" by seether. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:07:35 PM | OP,
How long were the two of you going out? Because if some guy professed his love for me after only a few dates or phone calls, that would set off warning bells that could be heard all the way to the far East.
I'm wary, if not completely disbelieving of, any man who spews those lines after only a few weeks, or even a couple of months. Feelings like that take time and don't spring up overnight. But then, it takes a long time for me to get attached to anyone, so if a guy suddenly pulls the disappearing act, I may be a little bothered by it, but I wouldn't let it consume me.
If it's been longer than a couple of months since you've met and dated, I can understand your concern. But if it's only been a short time since you've known each other, and you haven't spent that much time face-to-face (all the e-mails and phone calls in the world cannot make up for real one-on-one date time), then I'd probably not bother. He may spring up again but I'd be verrrry careful. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:12:57 PM | | Your profile indicates that you are a devout Christian...good for you and your boldness of faith. Is your friend a devout Christian also? I have found out that when someone says they are Christian and then exhibit behavior contrary to common decency they are probably following the world and not their faith (my experience has been with gals not guys). I take it you have not been intimate with this new guy...he may have found that bovine that provides the free milk. My guess is that he is attractive, has a nice "line" to him, and knows how to play the game. Your profile is a challenge to some "If you're looking to play with someone's heart and feelings, then please move on" I apologize for my gender...they can be very uncaring at times and when they are uncaring it is NOT a mistake but a CHOICE. I will keep you in my prayers. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:18:03 PM | Yes some people are afraid of their own shadows when it comes to getting serious and making a commitment. They chicken out and then have no clue what a wonderful relationship/life they could live.But instead they tuck tail and run or hide out and sometime people flip out and get all snotty making up all kinds of reasons for their actions. But of course it's never their fault. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:32:45 PM | More than likely, his wife found out.
Don't bother yourself with these things. You found out he was not what you had imagined he was. It's better to have loved and lost, than to be in a relationship with a flake or a psycho. Move on and be happy that you dodged the bullet this time.
I can give you a piece of advice. You do not have to take it, but I have found it's a good idea, just the same. Meet people ASAP after you begin talking to them. If they don't want to meet you, be suspicious. You would be safe to assume that they are lying about something and just want the strokes you get from having an online admirer.
Writing and texting for weeks builds a false emotional attachment to people you have not even met. You get a whole fantasy scenario constructed in your mind and I would give you very good odds, it rarely mirrors the reality. How can you really be deeply wounded by someone if you don't really know them? How well can you know someone you have not met? What does this say about you?
Anyone can say anything they want to using text or on the phone, the profile is a viable marketing tool often used for the bait and switch. Since you are not there to see the body language they are using, you are flying completely blind. I have known a lot of people who have done this for literally months and when they meet someone gets hurt. There is just no attraction on either side, or they discover things were not as they were portrayed to be.
Be smart, be safe. And good luck in future. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:44:08 PM | I think what bothers me most is your statement; "he said, he told me....." WHO CARES WHAT HE SAID.
Love is action. Its what he does that matters. If someone says, "i love you", but they cheat, lie, or dont care about how I feel, do they love me? Almost always no. They are using me and hurting me.
Women need to stop this thing listening to every word a man says. Its ridiculous. Look at the actions.
Whats worse, is even then, some men and women WONT see the actions for what they are; they only view their perceptions; many times their perceptions are wrong because they want it to work because they care for the person.
Character is when actions are the same as the words. This will allow you to choose better next time. good luck. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:44:38 PM | I had this happen to me. We lived 1200 miles apart. We messaged and e-mailed for a day and then we made phone calls for the next 6 days for hours.
Then all of the sudden she did not answer the phone, e-mails or IM's. By this time after hours on the phone, I was starting to fall for her. A perfect match. Two day slater I get a phone call from a young lady asking me if I am the right Jim. She told me who she was and I said I was the right one. This was her daughter calling to tell me her mom was in a near fatal accident. She came out of it OK. So maybe he had an accident or illness and is not able to call or respond. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:19:00 PM | Love is action. Its what he does that matters. If someone says, "i love you", but they cheat, lie, or dont care about how I feel, do they love me? Almost always no. They are using me and hurting me.
Women need to stop this thing listening to every word a man says. Its ridiculous. Look at the actions. Now... how come when I tell women that... men say I am being harsh, or think I am expecting an unreasonable standard? That it's man bashing somehow to expect that someone lives up to what they say they are going to do?
Beats me. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:58:47 PM | | is it just me or is the OP an idiot??? she picks a loser, then comes here wondering why he acted the way he acted. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a loser. The fact that you're 47 i have to ask........where's your brain??? | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:25:26 PM | | no it wasn't uncalled for either. if she doesn't want that kind of treatment from a guy, then she doesn't need to be going after that type of guy. it isn't rocket science. I'm sure she's smart enough and wise enough to know if this guy was a dirtbag. But she pursued him anyway. The very least she could do is spare us the soap opera | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:49:40 PM | | I know how you feel.let me tell you what has been going on with me,I have been talking to this guy for about 3 weeks that is when he calls me.he goes on about how he missing talking to me alot,but when I call him he NEVER answers,so the other day he called and I told him it doesn't take brain surgery to firgure this out,I think he is married or living with someone so I told him I'am not in to PLAYING HIS GAME,so girl be strong and move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:11:54 PM | I've been deeply wounded . . . > lvs123
I don't wish to sound disrespectful, but you have not been deeply wounded.
The only way you can be deeply wounded, as you describe it, is to believe your erroneous thoughts about what actually occurred.
I would ask you to buy a book called Awareness, by Anthony de Mello. Read it and read it thoroughly, and I promise you that your ideas about life and relationships will change; they will change so radically, your consciousness will shift so absolutely, you will wonder why on earth you ever wrote such a thing.
Try and edit your thoughts, my dear. Understand that, in reality, no one can hurt you. Only you can do that, with your ideas about life. He hurt me. He left me. He did this, that, and the other. He did not live up to my expectations. He told me he loved me [insert specific promise here]. He said he would always . . .
And so it goes on. Understand that you are the centre of your universe. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Speak with yourself and laugh at what you used to consider important. Acquaint yourself with your very essence, and become your greatest friend and ally - always. And then, if someone does not live up to your expectations or cannot meet them, so be it. You still have You.
Lastly, please do not listen to the 'I know how you feel . . . ' replies. If you fall for these you are merely feeding your faulty interpretation of life, which will suck your energy and bring you down. Rise above this. Become immune to the myriad dramas and incidents that occur outside of yourself. Remain faithful and loyal - to You.
Blessings.
~ Peter | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:34:19 PM |
is it just me or is the OP an idiot??? she picks a loser, then comes here wondering why he acted the way he acted. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a loser. The fact that you're 47 i have to ask........where's your brain??? 
This is the kind of post that makes me angry! Calling a person that is hurting an idiot is surely not helping her. Nice guy! NOT!
I have seen this insensitive type of insulting post way to many times in these forums. Show some class and if you feel like some one is an idiot, say nothing and move on.
None of us know enough facts to conclude the OP or this guy are idiots and losers. | |
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