| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:41:10 PM | We've all been deeply wounded. But how deeply, really? You hardly knew this guy. You don't need someone like this, no one needs someone like this. But email relationships, even when they're coupled with phone calls, are a fantasy world at best. Sometimes you can break through and live- if not happily ever after- then at least for a while. My last relationship (we met online) lasted 4 years. So tell me about being deeply wounded! He was a fantasy, what you were feeling for him was not real. It was built upon words and empty (obviously) promises! Like one of the responders said, you have to really, be able to be alone with your self, before you go out there looking again!
Good luck, beautiful! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:48:41 PM | Don't let anyone "deeply wound" you,..especially in the beginning of anything. If you allow yourself to be that thin-skinned.. on the 5th rejection, you'll die..
Put some peroxide on your butt (usually where everyone's pride is located) and drive on. I'm not being terse,.. it's merely my opinion, and that is what you asked for.
My advice: Is the way I do things.. and it's simple.. Expect the very worse, or at the least, nothing. That way, anything good that happens is an unexpected & very pleasant surprise.
Hey,.. it works for me..   
PS: You're a good-lookin' woman,.. someone else will be nibblin' the bait shortly  | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:07:38 PM | Here is the scoop on guys .... when it comes to ending ties ... they are total cowards and will do everything to dodge the bullet. I believe you gave him what alot of gals make a huge mistake about,being available way too much, you really need to have a full and total life as a total whole person of your own to be involved in a long term relationship that will last and remain challenging for you as well as him .
This guy ain't worth friendship let alone dating material,cut all communication and get on with working on you. | |
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lvs123
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Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 104 | |
| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:41:30 PM | Who is socoj34 that he feels he has the right to judge something by which he obviously knows nothing about? He's probably never had his heart bruised, broken or otherwise because maybe he won't let anyone get that close to him?
Yes, the guy's a loser. Yes, he continues to be on the site. Actually, he has two profiles on the site.
For those of you with compassionate hearts, thank you ever so much for your encouragement and support. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:03:45 PM | to OP....
Sorry this happened to you....join the wonderful world of internet dating....this has happened to me also and I can feel your hurt.... People who disappear or give lame excuses just aren't worth your heart....just pick yourself up, and get back into the pond!
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:20:37 PM | Have you ever loved and lost?: Do you know the deep pain that that causes especially to sensitive, loving types? verymad: That was very insensitive to the OP; I'm finding that most men on here are "jerks" sorry but that's my experience, liars, players, etc., but I suppose some women are the same...yep, it's the net what can we do? Try to develop thicker skins or leave the site; lately I'm thinking of doing the latter  I'm gettin too old for all the bull****. There's my 2 cents | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:39:36 PM | | amazon your hit the nail on the head. Guys can be jerks when it comes to feelings. Its not in them to feel emotional pain like we do till its too late and then they fall apart after we are long gone. Not sure if thats delayed reaction or what but I have known many men who do not feel a thing till its over and they can barely function once reality sinks in. I guess thier hardened hearts are so thick and callous from not having feelings that when the pain finally gets through all that thick skin it hurts big time. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:43:00 PM | | lvs one thing I have learned from pof is that the forums can be very verbally abusive to the op. Alot of know it alls and just plain mean people have nothing better to do than put down the op. It makes them look bad but they really have no clue because they are narcissistic. So don't let them bother you or hurt you and I know its hard because I have been in the hot seat. Daggers are being shot at you from every direction. But in the midst of it all are the genuine caring people who have hearts and lives and compassion. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:24:49 PM | What a horrible way to treat another person!!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Funny, the last guy I dated on here I am very sure planned on doing the same thing -- once his lies became apparent and it was clear he wasn't the man that he said he was, I could very clearly see him laying out his plans for a quick getaway but I beat him to the punch    
So think of it this way: This man did you a huge favor. I know it certainly doesn't feel that way, and having someone act so callously leaves you doubting your own mind for having believed a word that came out of his mouth. You might have wasted so much more time or invested so much more into the relationship.
It's not you -- it's him. It doesn't feel like that but just keep saying it to yourself:
It's not me -- It's him. He's a loser and I'm well rid of him. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:30:26 PM | It hurts...im sure. But thing could have been worse....what if he fled a day or two before the wedding. What if he left you with 2-3 children to raise...
You r beautiful and thats his loss not yrs. Actually this way he did less damage.
Cheer up and don't lose faith in men...Lots of them are good and appreciate a good woman.
Take care and send you my good thoughts for the best to you! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:39:23 PM | Screw him his loss ya are fine and look great,
Forget about that loser and find a new one.
I went out with this chick and she even got candy and card when she was
sad and I took her out to eat when she was hungry at night and she just
totally was a **** to me from beginning and never gave me a fair chance,
I was like your loss as I was a real nice guy and great person to her
Then she freaks because I gave her a night kiss as she said she isn't that
fast. I wasn't aware that it was fast as I was just being me and trying to get
to know her. Then I end up liking her and she blows me off listens to her
friends and such and she says I'm a jerk and blah blah. So I tell her what
I thought of her acting like a **** and she never speaks to me again and
acts as I didn't matter to her but I know damn well I did.
So her loss and his..
laters
Matthew
Can't please everyone and I was the perfect guy and then some..
Even took calls early morning and also late night and called and told her where
I was throughout the day.
What guy would do that none... | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:19:32 PM | | They all land in the dead man heap with the rest of the losers. Mourn your loss for 2 seconds, next!! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:33:29 PM | | Ivs....I had the same problem and no matter what advice you'll hear its always going to be wondering on your mind until HE gets some balls enough and tells you his self WHY he is doing those things, and its annoying and sometimes its not easy to ignore esp when you KNEW the person (and it wasn't over the net)....Guess some men have alot of growing up to do and needs to give an REASON instead of just "running" from the problem. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:37:59 PM | Well, I have to tell you I think you might be dating my ex. My ex used to pull that on me all the time. I put up with it because I cared about him. I knew in my heart and whenever I had a stomach ache I would find out that he was lying to me about his being monagomous. We would break up and then he would manipulate me into taking him back. This went on for quite some time, eventually I found out from his ex girlfriend that he lived with and still slept in the same bed with that there were 3 additional victims. I called them and let them know exactly what kind of person he was. Is that wrong? He wasn't telling them the truth, so why shouldn't I.
I think that if you hear from him again, please do not listen to his lies about what he was doing while you waited for him to call. I had another guy I dated that stopped calling and after 3 weeks he finally called. I asked him what happened and he said he was dating someone else and he was keeping his options open. There was another guy who didn't call for 2 weeks. He said he was just too busy with work and family. Come to find out he was also dating someone else.
Just be careful out there because I just found out from my exboyfriends exgirlfriend that he is on POF and he has 3 new phone numbers and that he started dating again a week after I broke up with him. And to be honest my ex used to say the same things that your guy did. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:55:05 PM | uh oh..have you tried to check him in all hospitals or check the obituaries?
the search for the mystery man begins.
dont IM nor call him...let him find you. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:50:43 PM | Msmach I find your's and a lot of other womens post very interesting... As stated before, have had that done to me several times...
It is amazing that people will behave that way towards others, and leave them hanging...
I have respect for the person that says hey this is not happening for me, may not be thrilled about it, but at least you aren't left hanging.
Perhaps these players all go to the same training camp... | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:19:27 AM | 1st bad sign . . too much emoution...too fast
(given on his part..to you)
RARELY - RARELY - RARELY
does 'instant chemistry' really pan out
I mean , get real you let yourself get
pulled into his babble . .kill the "victim"
BS and learn the lessons...
most women on this site are obsessed with
"! ! ! I gotta have chemistry ! !! "
and don't even give a decent guy a chance
to even start just a basic friendship,
look around you most people who have had
long term marriages , one party was not instantly attracted
to the other, maybe they just met at work, school, whatever
and slowly grew into a friendship, then love , then blah blah
the point is ..a HUGE portion of women on this site just
need to freaking grow up and quit acting like teenagers
obssessed with trying to fall in instant love ! !
gawd..how pathetic is that ! !
anyways . .sorry bout your loss . .but too much ..too fast
just burns out too quickly . ..lotta falling stars in the sky every night
good luck to ya ! !
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:39:14 AM | mthomjmark says:
I think what bothers me most is your statement; "he said, he told me....." WHO CARES WHAT HE SAID.
Love is action. Its what he does that matters. If someone says, "i love you", but they cheat, lie, or dont care about how I feel, do they love me? Almost always no. They are using me and hurting me.
Women need to stop this thing listening to every word a man says. Its ridiculous. Look at the actions.
Whats worse, is even then, some men and women WONT see the actions for what they are; they only view their perceptions; many times their perceptions are wrong because they want it to work because they care for the person.
Character is when actions are the same as the words. This will allow you to choose better next time. good luck.
Yes ladies....... it really is just that simple. People say many many things to get what they desire, but the bottom line and my life's mantra is and always will be, the above quote.
Money talks bull shit walks actions will always SCREAM louder than words. A person who loves and wants to be with a person IS.
:))
Witchy | |
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