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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:25:10 PM | | sounds like he got what he wanted and moved on, sad but true, happens all the time on the airwaves, men and women do it - its a game they play. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:34:59 PM | Im sooo sorry that u have had to experience this phenomena called a "Hit & Run".
I have too. It is truly mind boggling, that one person can treat another like that.
This is not about you, Please know that !!
There is somethng not quite right in the dna of the male who did this-Married-not signle-addiction--lot of bad baggage, who really knows.
Consider that you have dodged a bullet. You are gorgeous and deserve better. Unfortunately, it seems to be all to common in the dating world. Try not to analyze too much, it will drive u crazzzeeeee! I know...easier said then done--In time this too shall pass--Trust me.
Best of luck to you!
Sincerely,
Cindy | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:57:24 PM | | Maybe he is married? Either way he is not worth your tears. If he is that easily avoiding your calls he is not worth your time. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:25:16 AM | | Hi ...I love humormongers reply..I must go out now and buy some thicker skin...Maybe I will get a nicelooking skin with a rattle at the end of it..lol...After my little date last nite, being told all these wonderful things all week to get me to meet him....then upon leaving he said he would take me out for my birthday...within a matter of 3 hours he changed when I spoke to him this morning. Stating he was mixed up and didn't know what he wanted in a relationship...I think that man was married and cheating...Im glad I didn't get too involved...lol.....Oh well...Live and Learn...Do Not Always Trust Those That Capture Your Heart...For they may just be playing a game... | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:14:58 PM | This story has been posted about 1000 times over but I'll answer again. Why are women so naive that they believe men and what they say? Especially someone on the internet.
Your entire post; "well he said, he said, he said". Come on.
So if he said he owns the ocean, I guess he owns the ocean? wow
Love takes time; love is action; look at the actions of a person, and take what they say for what its worth;
Its someone you dont know and you act like everything that comes out of his mouth is truth. Go slow, dont blindly trust someone you dont know, and look at the actions.
The internet dating scene is just mind boggling. I've never seen so much naivity in people. We've got to be smarter. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:35:10 PM | | Trusting or naive? I dont think that the focus should be on why "woman" or men believe in what others tell them, opposite sex or not. We should concentrate more on being honest and not just saying things for our own benefit. That is not a good person in general and I know that every time anyone that wants love hears that, it is hope that it exsists and when it leaves it is disappointment, one more NOT IT. What can you say to make that better? Believe in yourself? Remember why you are better than that and deserve better..because you are better..you still believe in it..you still trust. You did nothing wrong by believing or trusting. Just remember when he contacts you (and he probably will with some crazy story that he is hoping that you will accept), how you felt when he left. No Excuses. But dont be mean. He's pathetic actually. Feel sorry for him. But dont take him back. He will never respect you and you will never respect yourself. Unless he is dead..there is NO EXCUSE worth your feelings!!!..look out for yourself first. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:42:36 AM | IVS1
Sometimes we must admit to ourselves that it takes two to tangle
and so
does the Blame & the Shame ........
for being Foolish by
Setting ourselves up to be Rejected ....... Or Played !
So Just Pull your Big Girl Panties Up and Accept the Facts of Dating <
Fact 1
Take it Easy '' Meet in Public often '' hang out '' in cappachino shops 'book stores ''
museums '' malls '' with other Friends ..... In Person ''
Fact 2 Being an open Book overnite is not a good idea "'Especially on the Net
or Texting ........ Matters from the Heart should always be expressed
in person when dating .
Fact 3 Keep in mind he may not be on the same page as you !
Or have the same agenda as you ..
Fact 4 Communication talk about him what he likes '''wants '& 'Believes
first ......
Fact 5 NO Sex until you really really know him ''in person ''' If he really likes
you he
will be patient too .......
^ Ole Chinese Proverb Fool me once shame on you Fool me twice Shame on Me !
There is more to Dating than meets the eye 'on '''''''''The Net "'  | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:26:30 AM |
Men do this disappearing act all the time - quite innocently, they pop up again. Don't for goodness sake ask what happened to you? you'll be put on the demanding/control freak pile.
Now that rings a bell. The ONE time I asked, I was told I was possessive and controlling. N-E-X-T !!!!!!!!!!!!
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:39:05 AM | Chalk it up to a learning experience and don't jump into something so quickly next time. It takes time to get to really know someone, actually it takes years and even then? People change sometimes, so the only person you can really count on - is yourself.
Pink | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:10:03 PM | Tsk Tsk jon1965....
So, one of your criteria's is that she should have "persperation" and another, that she should not like to go daily/weekly to bars/clubs, move on as you don't want to hang out with an Alcoholic.
Oh and you need to do a spell check on your profile.
RARELY, RARELY,RARELY do you get to meet a "mind" first... Usually, you meet the person's words of hiding behind the screen, then, if your lucky, you get to see the mind if they are sincere, and then you find them attractive. HA.
"Instant Chemistry"? Most of us are grown up, lol.. Although the "inner child" teenager is actually endearing a lot of men like her as well. I don't think they want to fall in love "instantly" on here, they just want to believe what is being told to them, instead of having to cop a "jerk" who spreads crap, and leaves her feeling dejected, because he's just a "Player"..
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:13:06 PM | sorry op that you have been through that, i have also recently been removed from a favorite list i had been on, we had been chatting for a few weeks then went on THE DATE just like you instant chemistry but with a man i think it is easier for them to play the game. i am new to the cyberworld of dating but in this short time i have learned quite a bit, I AM BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL all over again thought i had went through all the childish games. oh well maybe i will eventually find my fish  | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:04:18 PM | Don't be disalussioned witchyplus3, you just have to understand that "that" man may be anywhere, maybe here, maybe not.
But i would change your profile back to who you are, instead of what happened...
And believe in you. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:55:06 PM | | Everythings selfish, its all selfish. Love, emotional needs, your needs, his needs. Sexes, exes, hexes. Only unconditional love is the answer and you wont learn except for these trials. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:22:57 PM | thank you chandlers wish for your input i have went back and adjusted profile a little bit and decided this is a mighty big pond with plenty of fish. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:17:21 PM | well ive had the same thing happen what he wanted was to play the game see if he could get a reaction an as soon as he did poof he was gone
a game player an ive had it happen as well iam sick to dam death of guys thinking were only here to give them one thing an thats sex some men surly need to grow the hell up stop playing games with real women whom care an give a dam
an own up to there stuiped behavor
look if it helps tell the ass hole to fk off an get on with it but be sure not to fall in same trap we all do
some guys starts to pay attention to us take us out send notes buy flowers which bye the way they should do any ways at least on a first date ?/ get the hint stuiped men / then we start to think wow is he for real well some can but most arent
some just like the game an some will do what ever it takes to get you in bed / those on the other hand are the slefish ones whom use us an get what they want an dump most men are infatuated with haveing a dum ass barbie doll on hand to show off an infact 99% of that is so dam true it suks / when they say no its a real women be ware because i think they need to prove it an start showing a real women the respect we deserve
honestly dont just trust your heart any more get fact fined out every thing if he evasive an doesnt honestly answer ever question dump him he playing games
married or a lair eiether or use ever means you have to protect your self an feelings to you realy know the truth
laters cherrie | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. .by a drunk spell checker
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:58:03 PM | So, one of your criteria's is that she should have "persperation" and another, that she should not like to go daily/weekly to bars/clubs, move on as you don't want to hang out with an Alcoholic.
Oh and you need to do a spell check on your profile.
---------------
perspiration
Is the correct spelling . . .
(its been spelled that way since day one on my profile)
too much drinking on your end?
oh...you made . . .my point | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:19:51 PM | A couple of things might have occurred: 1) one of the other multiple women he was doing the same thing with finally said she'd put out. 2) his wife caught him, and it was either her or the computer, so he caved. 3) he ran out of material to use on you.
You didn't specify what the "course of time" was. I'm not the Amazing Kreskin here, but I'm going out on a limb (safely, I feel...) and say that if he was able to determine that he adored you, cared for you, starting to fall for you; all without ever meeting you, he played you. Stating that he is not a serial dater and monogomous in a relationship was music to your ears, as well as the other detritus he was coming up with. He was obviously setting the stage for a quick sexual entrance once you met; all the buildup had been taken care of.
Sorry this happened, but it was inevitable. In the future, take it with a grain of salt; if someone is worshipping you before you deserve it, see a red flag. Personally, I'm a romantic, and I do believe in instant love; but it would take more than just that much contact to think it was real.
Best of luck to you in the future! | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:42:27 PM | Socoj34:
no it wasn't uncalled for either. if she doesn't want that kind of treatment from a guy, then she doesn't need to be going after that type of guy. it isn't rocket science. I'm sure she's smart enough and wise enough to know if this guy was a dirtbag. But she pursued him anyway.
The reason she couldn't see it was probably because it was hidden by a thick layer of beauty, charisma and charm.
Bikerguy:
My guess is that he is attractive, has a nice "line" to him, and knows how to play the game.
I agree with this, the OP is very attractive and I'm guessing it would take a pretty handsome bloke to turn her head.
There is a small percentage of the population who have beauty and charm and, as a consequence, get all the dates! If only the rotten apples in this percentage would use their powers for good instead of evil!
I know the OP is embarrassed and hurting at the moment, and I don't mean to make light of her dilemma, but at least she didn't invest that much time and effort in the exchange. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:06:21 AM | Well welcome to the club!!! I've been seeing a man for 5 months now and thought an open relationship was the best. I was open.....he got mad and said he couldn't deal with the drama. He stopped returning phone calls and just fell off the face of the earth. We fell in love. Him first, then pretty much me. He started to go too fast and talked me into the ride along with him. Now he is totally different. In my mind...he has someone else because he still comes to this site. This isn't the first time this has happened to me and I'm sure it won't be the last. It usually happens when you get to know someone and really don't like what you see. But..don't blame yourself. It's not you. If they don't want you for who you are....then move on. Someone will. Someone very special that wants the same things you do and gives you all they have. It's hard to find love these days and it gets pretty lonely trying to find it. Maybe if we all stop looking...it will hit us right in the face. Good luck to you my friend and join the club!
Laurie | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:09:34 AM | | I know exactly what you mean, and I do sympathize with you. What is it with these men? Are there any genuine men out there who don't lie? Very few I think. So how are us women supposed to trust them. Shows we are the superior species by such a long way. Keep your chin up, you never know what is round the corner. I wish you luck for the future, but be careful, and I hope some luck for myself. | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. . .
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:21:46 AM |
I've been seeing a man for 5 months now and thought an open relationship was the best. I was open...
By 'open relationship' do you mean sleeping with other people whilst you're in it?
...he got mad and said he couldn't deal with the drama.
If that's what you mean't I don't blame him. If I'm in a relationship the last person I'd want in it is a 3rd party, male or female.
Well welcome to the club!!!
That's hardly the same as the Op's predicament.
I may have misread what you were trying to say Laurie, but I always thought the phrase 'open relationship' mean't one thing, unless you were talking about being open and honest in your communication with your man? | |
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| I've been deeply wounded. .by a drunk spell checker
Posted: 7/10/2008 1:27:49 AM | Mr Jon65....
too much drinking on your end?
oh...you made . . .my point
__________________________________
Dear me, that's no way to treat a lady.... lol...
Judgemental? Or was that an assumption? Can i laugh now?
Love, absolutely love the hat, especially the smile... good for you.
Don't assume if a woman goes out on the town with friends, once a week, she is an alcoholic and personally, in addition, i think it's not fair to assume someone should do what you want them to do, that being not to go out once a week, as obviously you do view that to be an alcoholic, you stated it not me...in your profile... oh.... i made.... my point.
And, don't take life so seriously, tsk tsk is a fun thing, thought you said you had a good sense of humor, well that's what your profile said?
Confused?
As for perspiration / persperation... can't a woman type fast, as she has a busy, full, happy life...
You have a great week there Jon and good luck on the dating site.  | |
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