| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:44:21 AM | No one person is always right or innocent. There are 2 sides to every story. Sometimes we are the victim, sometimes we are to blame.. at least in part.
I have been in relationships where I was totally blind sided by some cruel act of another. And I have been in relationships where I contributed to the mess by not thinking clearly.
But I think the important part is.. Anytime I was wrong, made a bad decision or said something that hurt someone. I always said I was sorry and owned up to my mistake. And my apology was always sincere and from the heart. I am not a mean, spitful, or rotten person.
I think honesty and sincerity are powerful forces... as well forgivness. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:52:04 AM | But, if one person is trying & the other isn't, then why did the "trying" person get so emotionally invested in the first place. It is the "trying" person's fault that their judgement was so bad.... that they ever signed up for committment to someone who is not willing to play.  | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:35:25 AM | I take full responsibility for my current single status. Every time I try to assign blame, I just sit back and think that I wanted out of energy-sucking situation I was in. Doesn't matter that he was the one to end it.
So... was it my fault? I do not believe it was... I don't believe it was his fault either. I DO believe we both just needed to move on... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:40:24 AM | Well let me be the fly in the soup. It wasn't my fault both my marriages ended. Ok.. so I couldn't give my first wife an orgasm, and she found someone who could. So technically, I own some of that one right? I don't think so. The second one got sick. So I guess my not devining a cure was also my fault? Again, up yours.
I only have one word for those who wave their faults like a flag in order to look like their a good person. FU. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:10:28 PM |
Ok.. so I couldn't give my first wife an orgasm, and she found someone who could
You are lying to yourself if you think that is the sole reason your first wife left you, ss. Even within the sad confines of your obvious lie, you fail. No orgasm, what, were you tongueless and d*ckless? Not likely. More likely, you lacked the empathy and tenderness needed to complete that love connection.
In any situation in which you are involved, you have a role, for which you must take responsibility.
I am proud to wave the flag of responsibility. It means I am still open, still learning, which is why we were put on this earth in the first place. Deny this truth, and you will remain bound to your karmic wheel.
Sorry for my rant, ss, but I just don't much cotton to people too lazy to properly spell "divine". Your post left me 'frigid' and 'sick'.  | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:46:36 PM | My fault.
100%.
And that's because I am totally responsible for running -- or ruining -- my own life. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:00:04 PM |
It means I am still open, still learning, which is why we were put on this earth in the first place.
Hmmm... and I thought we were put on this earth to do "good deeds"... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:14:36 PM | Whenever I am asked this question I always respond with .... it was 50% my fault ,and 50% his fault.. We grew up and didn't take the time to cultivate our relationship while the kids were small, and then teenagers. Both of us were acutely aware of what the end result would be when neglecting the marriage, and yet we did nothing to prevent it.
To this day my ex and I accept half of the rsponsibility for the demise. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:31:11 PM | My memory is pretty much shot, since I have to memorize boring stuff like micro-processor specifications. My brain is full, and anything new that I have to remember means something has to go too.
I.e. In goes the machine check specs, out goes the time I put my turtle in a pool with the electric light bulb in it when I was a kid...
This broken memory is a great guilt remover. I mean if I can't rememeber the bad things I did, than I can answer No to this question with a clear conscience and it really helps me sleep at night, too... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:51:18 PM |
mean if I can't rememeber the bad things I did, than I can answer No to this question with a clear conscience and it really helps me sleep at night, too...
Remember nothing, learn nothing, stay bound to the karmic wheel, sleeping the sleep of the dead, and sleeping -- this I guarantee -- alone.
Ignorance isn't bliss. It's just . . . ignorance. And it snores! | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:52:02 PM | """This broken memory is a great guilt remover. I mean if I can't rememeber the bad things I did, than I can answer No to this question with a clear conscience and it really helps me sleep at night, too... """
My memory isn't the best. That's why I keep a journal (on and off). One thing is for sure, no amount of joking around, changing the subject, denial, anger, justification, rationalization, or drinking can change what I've done or am doing right now.
The first step to sanity is admitting we need help. If you don't or want help, more power to you! Some people really are healthy and normal and deserve kudos for doing the right thing, even if when they don't want to. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:01:15 PM | Actually... I *did* seek help once...
I asked my dcotor about the horns growing out of my skull. The first time he told me that they were skull damage caused by forceps (I was a breach baby).
But when I went a second time, it really freaked him out to find that they were actually growing... and now... I need to find a new doctor.
So maybe instead of just saying "No" to this question, I should say "Probably, but I can't remember, because I'm the anti-christ". Oh... and I think karma only works on humans... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:03:24 PM | | does it count if i said that i messed up, but only figured it out a year AFTER we broke up?.. cause i was left alone by someone last year this time. and i always thought it was his fault, and not mine, but it was kind of a half and half situation. if he hadnt ignored me all the time and left me home alone while he out and partied, i wouldnt have gotten mad, but if i was more concered about myself, and how i wanted to live and be when i got older, then maybe he would have accepted me more, and understood that i WAS challenging myself, the way he wanted me too. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:18:45 PM | | I freely admit that I was equally to blame in my divorce, but seeing as how that's kind of ancient history now it doesn't come up that often. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:20:36 PM |
I asked my dcotor about the horns growing out of my skull. The first time he told me that they were skull damage caused by forceps (I was a breach baby).
But when I went a second time, it really freaked him out to find that they were actually growing... and now... I need to find a new doctor.
So maybe instead of just saying "No" to this question, I should say "Probably, but I can't remember, because I'm the anti-christ". Oh... and I think karma only works on humans...
1. Your writing indicates intelligence. Perhaps wisdom, ever more elusive and far more important, will follow.
2. You don't even begin to understand the karmic wheel, of which experiencing this world in a human meat-sack or two, or three, is but one small part.
3. As for your doctor, well, that's managed care for 'ya!  | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:31:14 PM | It wasn't my fault both my marriages ended. Ok.. so I couldn't give my first wife an orgasm, and she found someone who could. So technically, I own some of that one right? I don't think so. The second one got sick. So I guess my not divining a cure was also my fault? Again, up yours.
I only have one word for those who wave their faults like a flag in order to look like their a good person. FU.
I truly believe that you don't think it was your fault. Your ex should have thought about some hunk, while you hunkered down on her. I'm so glad I'm not a female opening my flower to you.
If you showed even a smidgen of your anger to her, like in this post, no freaking wonder she got sick... of you. 'Cause you are soooo sick.
I have an inkling that you really don't own anything, especially emotionally. Get some help and man-up.
does it count if i said that i messed up, but only figured it out a year AFTER we broke up?
Sometimes, we learn way after the fact. It most likely won't help the far past, but at least we will know for the next Fishie. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:38:26 PM | NEVER! If that a$$hole had not been putting it to the babysitter when I got home early from work, then he wouldn't have a piece of lead in his a$$ right now. And the kids would not be in a foster home and our little side business vending rock through the window screen would NOT have come to a screeching halt when our sh!t was thrown out on the street during eviction and I was sent to the can for assault with a deadly weapon (plead down from attempted manslaughter).
I am not to blame for his infidelity and its consequences. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:03:48 PM | Very good... now give me the gun nice and slow... take deep breaths... relax... that's it...
BANG
Flops over, like a Fishie gasping for air.
The last words, barely heard, bleed from his mouth.
"...it is all my fault... were is the beach... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:12:00 PM |
NEVER! [...tortured but hilarious cri de coeur...] consequences.
I read your profile. I tried to respond. I don't even know what whole number comes between 91 and 91, but that's not important now.
You're brilliant, you're angry, you're insane. Excellent! One out of three will win you a batting title in baseball, most seasons.
I sincerely believe that, given enough time and drugs, I could possibly live down to your expectations.
Small adjustments may need to be made . . . but medication is like that. 
In any event, both your post and your profile are hilarious.  | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:12:39 PM |
Have you ever seen one post from someone male or female where they admit that they are the reason that their relationship failed? Me either!!!! Nope it wasn't their fault!!! It's like a damn prison around here, they are ALL innocent in there too!!!
I'm thinking that the fact that it's postings on message boards with a bunch of strangers where you're seeing that kind of dramatic one-sidedness (is that a word? Oh well, it is now...) is a clue. Does that make sense?
Not that we haven't all heard some of that same sort of thing from people we know in real life. But I suspect that those of us who are more inclined to view our past history in a more rational and honest light, take responsibility for our part, and respect the privacy of our ex-spouses/other parent of our children aren't sharing that degree of our history here. Just a thought... | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:17:01 PM | Some things were, some things weren't.
I like to keep 2 dry erase boards (chalk is messy). His bad, my bad.... whichever one fills up first has to treat to a night out. I always give him the jumbo pack of markers, I only need one.   | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:20:02 PM | | Nope, never, nada...deny, deny, deny! an that's all there is to that! | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:36:44 PM | ^^^
I hear you wonderful man I never do anything wrong myself...well not anything really wrong..I might not give them a fighting chance...strike one he's out!!!!
I have been totally pigheaded a time or three ...I have had some unrealistic expectations.. But I can admit when I am wrong I can even apologize..under my breath. | |
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| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:43:16 PM | Is it ever my fault?
Of course it is - it always is.
It's down to genetics, you see
I'm a guy; and we guys have a Y chromosome, and right there on that Y chromosome is the "at fault" gene. Didn't you know that women are perfeckt? | |
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Tat_2d
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Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 125 | |
| Is it EVER your fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:57:04 PM | Of course it was my fault, everything was my fault, just ask her.   | |
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