| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:42:51 AM | An on-line relationship?
Explicit emails?
Attached pics?
Id say that's just for starters -- who knows where it could all lead?? But,i wouldnt be hanging around long enough to find out....!!
Id be sayin,"Dont let the door hit ya on the way out"....
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:44:06 AM | to my way of thinking, yes, it's cheating
it's doing something underhanded and with falsehoods, something they are purposefully hiding - it is fulfilling the definition of cheating
there is an intimacy to the connection with the other person when they engage in that kind of activity, something which should have been shared solely with the person they are in a committed monogamous relationship with... imo | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:54:22 AM | Cheating. Definitely.
I thought that this was written by me...I went through the exact same thing.
The woman involved even tried to convince me it was innocent, 2 years after the fact (at this point, they had been in a relationship, and what a shock, when he did the same thing to her, she was upset!) | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:03:10 AM |
Yes it's cheating. It's a betrayal of trust and he is being deceitful.
You have already forgiven him once, how many more times before you say enough is enough?
Ditto. Also agree with another poster who mentioned that if someone loves you, they respect you... Someone who engages in any form of active deceit does not respect you, nor do they love you. And, I call bull to the poster who said maybe he just likes to write like that and is afraid to write that stuff to you.... Bull$hit. If you're in a relationship with someone and you know something (like writing fantasy type sexual messages) turns you on, talk to your partner, try writing some erotica about things you like or want to do with your partner. Explore your relationship, rather than go create some hidden corner of your life that you know you can't share with your partner.
Bottom line, integrity is what someone does when no-one is watching. And if someone has to keep their behavior in the dark, it's likely they themselves KNOW it's wrong. Don't let someone who behaves in that way have any affect on you -- and don't believe they "won't do it again, now that i know how it hurts you, sweetie." | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:28:06 AM | | Yes its cheating....are you freekin kidding me? | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:38:14 AM | Generally, if you have to ask.....
i'd concur with the consensus...
"cheating" is not only the physical.
One given to "cheating" entertains (and encourages) the thought, long before the consumation.
Infidelity...has many iterations. Emotional, spiritual, intellectual....come to mind. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:44:22 AM | I would call this cheating because he/she is hiding the fact they have another ongoing sexual relationship physical or not. And if you gave this person more than one chance to change at some point you just give up. Personally my rule for cheating is one strike and your out.
I think a good follow up question for your post would be what's your definition of cheating? | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:21:41 AM | | Yep I'd call that cheating.....at very least this person is showing disrespect if they are in real relationship with you.....you need to dump them seriously. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:40:16 PM | YES, IT'S CHEATING!! If you are in a relationship why would you need to be sending explicit emails to anyone? Obviously this person's word doesn't mean crap, if he promised that it would never happen again & it did & this time there's pic's attached WOW, what's next?! A fantasy is something that is just in your thoughts, not something that you are playing out in emails & pic's. He had to be there thinking about this other person & planning what he was going to say & do (i.e. the pic's). You don't do that kind of thing if you are in a relationship & truly love & respect your partner. He is a cheater & more than likely has a problem if he can't be faithful or be man enough to break up before he moves on to his fantasy!! Why can't the SOB live out his fantasies with you?
Darlin' if it were me, HELL NO I WOULDN'T TAKE HIM BACK because he did it not once but twice & probably would have continued if you hadn't busted him.
Move on to someone that is TOTALLY into you & not FANTASY ISLAND! You deserve love & respect, not to be cheated on (no one does)!
Best of luck my friend!
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:51:33 PM | | yeah i believe its cheating like their are different forms of cheating n i consider this definately on of them plus online usually escalates to meeting offline so yeah but it also depends on what u consider cheating n what the guy ur with considers to be cheating i tell a guy straight up what i consider cheating n he doesnt have the same views i cross him off my list of dateables ...it gives the impression that theyll go out n do it if they dont agree with u or try n make u see a diffrent point of view on it | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:57:54 PM |
you have found out your partner is having a on-line relationship
I would have left right then.
no physical contact has occurred..
Irrelevant.
you express how hurt and disappointed you are
Why?
how you feel that they have no respect for you if they feel they have to do this How you feel? How you feel? Hun, they HAVE no respect for you. It's not about whether you feel they haven't or not.
He/She promises it won't happen again
Of course!
a couple of months down the line you catch him/her at it again.
Of course! (Now, why did you believe him in the first place?)
this time there are pictures attached to the e-mail.
Why do you think that makes a difference?
Do you feel this is cheating or just living a fantasy?
Cheating it is not but what if it isn't? Would it make it okay if it wasn't? The question here is the lack of respect. Living a fantasy? Why would anyone need to live a fantasy? If a person is in a relationship and not content and "needs" to live a fantasy he or she is not relationship material. More often than not are behaviours like this up for debate because our society is slowly getting diluted as far as morals and ethics go.
would you take this person back .
Nope. That person is not relationship material and I'd cut him loose as soon as he displayed signs of not being content with it being just me and him. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:05:00 PM | | It is cheating. Yuo got webcams and pictures. And cellphoemn pictures phone and cyber sex. same thing as going to a hooker. Or calling upa phone sex operator. I think you need to talk to your man about this and find out if you are not fulfilling him in some way. Maybe you should ahve mroe sex together and maybe have cyber sex with him so he has no urge to do it with other women. and if he keeps it up then leave him. always try to work things out through talking first. and if he can;t understand your feeligns then leave him. Tell him he can;t do this and its cheating. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:05:20 PM | | Not going to read much into this thread, but I do have a question as to how you acess his mail. Some things are private. If he gave you acess then you should expect "stuff" that you will not like. Cheating happens when someone crosses boundaries to change their invironment. I say this a lot in my post to the forums. If you lack communication in any relationship, then it will come back and bite you. Don't ask here for answers that you already know. Vent? Nah~! | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:07:40 PM | | This is definitely cheating !! there may not be any physical contact , but the e-mails and pictures are a sure sign , that if they get the opportunity , they , at some point , will be together , at which time , they will take the e-mails and fantasies , and quite possibly , turn them into reality !! | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:10:32 PM |
Do you feel this is cheating or just living a fantasy?
Cheating IS living out a fantasy. Whether on-line sex is cheating or not depends on who you ask. To me, it is.
Id say that's just for starters -- who knows where it could all lead?? But,i wouldnt be hanging around long enough to find out....!!
Yeah, it starts out as a little flirting. Then that isn't enough, so they cybersex. Then THAT isn't enough, so they swap pictures to make it a little more real. Then the next step is the jump to real life. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:15:33 PM | You ask if it is cheating or living a fantasy as though it is one or the other. My ex tried to pull the "I was only acting out a fantasy" excuse on me too. It is both cheating (emotionally speaking) and acting out his fantasies. Google on "emotional infidelity".
You know by your feelings of betrayal that it is cheating. He has turned his affections towards another woman/women in breach of his committment to you. These are real women, not pornographic pictures. Furthermore, he is a scum bag if he is portraying himself to real, sincere women who are seeking love, as being an available bachelor. That shows a blatent disrespect of women right there. He is playing with hearts. He sounds very immature. You did right to kick'm to the curb. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:18:12 PM | | In my point of you it's neither cheating or living out a fantasy, it's just being utterly stupid. It's like your with someone, you aren't fooling around in front of them, but your blatantly winking at others or grabbing their booty right in front of your partner. Know what I'm saying? | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:20:30 PM | | Forget whether or not it is cheating! Can you trust him? You told him how you felt about it, and he did it again. In my experience, a re-offender becomes a repeated offender. It's a vicious cycle that just won't stop! Your issue is trust! Without it, there is no relationship! | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:32:07 PM | Yes it is cheating because, the person is giving their time and affection to the other person online when the attention should have been for you. No i would not take them back because they will do it again and they do not respect you or the relationship, it is the same as they are out at a bar, being overly friendly to the opposite sex and end up getting them interested enough to get or give out phone numbers or go out on dates with them etc.
Good luck and move on the someone that cares about you!
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:37:58 PM | Yes it is cheating. He eventually will find someone online desperate enough to take it to real time.
You'd be a fool to even consider taking him back. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:41:25 PM | I say..stop snooping in hopes to find out things that you really dont want to know the answers too!! You are invading someone elses space and that is NOT cool
If you dont trust your partener..then its time to move on!! If there is no physical contact..then it is NOT cheating!! | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:42:25 PM | | Doesn't matter. If you are not giving the same effort I am giving, I am out. That would include emotional adultery. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:44:00 PM | OP, In my past experience, I've overlooked this type of behavior with one of my exes. It not only escalated into his actually meeting some of these people, but things got much worse. And... he used one of MY computers for most of that garbage.
Don't waste time on someone like that. Life's too short to put yourself through that sort of pain. | |
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| Is this cheating?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:44:28 PM | | its disrespectful, and if the person was into you they would not look elsewhere! so i would not take a person back after they did it two times! he will just know you will put up with it so he will slip again! | |
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