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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:06:00 PM |
Anyway, she started denying me sex unless I took her instead of my brother and that was the last straw and I dumped her.
It is very refreshing to see a man who doesn't bow down to some selfish b*tch just because she's a woman. There's way too many men who stay with the psycho girl when she should be dumped. I have quite a few exes who tell me story after story of how their previous gf would treat them like crap, cheat on them, do drugs, etc., and then when we break up they go back to these women! And every time like clockwork, the ex starts texting and calling me again because they've seen the light and they desperately miss a normal woman who treats them RIGHT. So KUDOS to you for getting rid of the nutcase  
what's a *selfish little brad*???
Oh Jesus.. it's a typo???  | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:20:57 PM | Da Hitmen, IMHO, you totally did the right thing. You had a family cruise to go on, and she was giving you ultimatums about you not taking her and she ended up denying you sex? Hahha, was she that good? Hilarious. More importantly, dissing your family is the LAST thing she had a right to do because that is your FAMILY who you obviously love and get along with enough to go on a family cruise with; awesome. Yikes, run for the hills. Da Hitmen, you sound like such a reasonable guy with common sense .... so go find another girl to date and have sex with who doesn't have control and insecurity issues. Don't ever go back to her because it will be ultimatum after ultimatum .. and she will only look for ways to control your life and will make the attempt to come between you and your family in the process. It'll never end.
The girl has no class ... RUN!! You did your best to accomodate her when you didn't have to. This is a family cruise, period, that your family planned.
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:58:59 PM | Nothing more to add except this:
Use this experience as a benchmark for future gf's because you are definetly showing signs of dating dominant and abusive women.
I met this girl about three months ago and we really hit it off. Everything was going great until ......
I bet it wasn't. In fact, I'd put cash money down that she had little snippets of entitlement issues.
It is absoluetly a no-brainer that your gf was like this in a lot of other ways and this cruise thing was just the final line she crossed.
You really can't tell me she was all sweet and nice and then all of a sudden you were expected to shell out $3,2oo for a 7 day vacation for her.
Who the hell expects to tag along on a family vacation with their bf/gf after only being with them for just a few months?
You did the right thing, that is a no-brainer. The hard part you need to understnd is will you date another psycho that is the same way? | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:15:52 PM | hey sweety .
wow i wonder did she give youher right age, my kids act more mature. you did the right thing , its was a family thing, so she better suck it up or grow up, i see nothing wrong with a family trip,cruice or what ever and unless you put that ring on her hand she is just a girlfriend , especialy after 3 month.
count your blessing , you dodged that bulled and go have an awsom time . with out the ex -girlfriend , lol.
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:45:43 PM | She sounds like a real control freak, OP. If she wanted to go so bad then she should have offered to pay her way!
Maybe if you would have mentioned to her before booking the room? Like said "I am going on a FAMILY vacation, etc...........But for her to "punish" you by not being intimate is childish and very controling!
I believe you made the right decision as this may have been the beginning of many headaches ahead.
Enjoy the cruise!!!
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:30:44 AM |
Womerns actually throw guilt trips and try to deny men sex to get what they want???!!! Oh bullpuckey, Women deny sex because they don't want men to get what THEY want. Personally I have only denied sex out of anger. You make me angry.. I don't want to do you! Seems about right to me.
But Da Hitman you know this chic was on meds right? Had to be! If you forgot how adorable that you are not so far away I can't make a side trip to remind you! | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:04:42 AM | Family comes first. End of story.
I am only 23 an i understand that.
If she has a problem with that, how can it ever work.
She should be uderstanding.
I would be bumed if i were her, but i would not hold it over your head. It's not like you were dating for years.
Try not feel bad. | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:10:20 AM | | Do NOT feel guilty! It was a family cruise and she was only your gf of 3 months. Actually I don't care if she had been your gf for a year, it is a FAMILY gathering. You have a right to spend sometime with your family. And that she should just assume you should pay is way over the top too! You are well rid of her in my opinion! | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:35:50 AM | I'm prepared to be beaten because I totally disagree with dumping her over this.
Kyn has the right idea on the sex thing. I'd guess it was an emotional reaction, as in "I'm hurt and I don't want to".
OP is 47 years old. He is paying for his brother. His girlfriend of 3 months, whom he is sleeping with, is upset. Sounds like my ex husband. We were married 20 years and he continued to choose his "family" over me and our kids until the day I sent his butt packing.
At a recent party for my son, new people in my life thought his sister was his girlfriend, as they hang all over each other and call it family. Sometimes there are many determining factors that aren't evident in a tiny little one sided post. I wonder what the girlfriends version would have been. | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:48:39 AM | Why on earth are you feeling guilty?? You got a teensy tiny small SAMPLE of what LIFE would have been like with her. Can you imagine years and years of that kind of abuse? You did the right thing, do NOT feel guilty, she brought it all on herself with her immature behavior.
She also exposed herself as one of those women who uses sex as a reward/punishment system. That would have been the story of your life, if you'd ended up married to her. GOOD RIDDANCE. | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:04:12 AM |
OP is 47 years old. He is paying for his brother. His girlfriend of 3 months, whom he is sleeping with, is upset. Sounds like my ex husband. We were married 20 years and he continued to choose his "family" over me and our kids until the day I sent his butt packing.
First of all, I regret that the poster had such an experience and there are certainly situations where family ties could be indicative of deeper issues aka red flags.
However, regardless of OP's age, knowing someone only three months who has the unreasonable expectation that OP should set aside his family ties ( brother in this case) and not only take her on the cruise (that the family did not invite her to in the first place) but also finance her ticket? Uh uh. Her expectation was unreasonable. That element alone is a red flag to the OP - regardless of whether he and GF are intimate or not. Now, had it been an issue of bringing her to a family dinner or not bringing her, absolutely she should be included in that IF the OP wants his family to get to know her better at that point. But the family cruise that did not include her in the invitation in the first place? Uh uh. Three months of being involved with someone does not make them part of the extended family.
JMHO | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:58:18 AM | | She is being very childish, you have only been together 3 months not 3yrs which i could understand alot more with her being pissed off but theres no doubt you DID the right thing (bloods thicker than water) leave her to stew on it and if she doesnt come round then find someone more mature and understanding especially when it comes to family loyalties. You have nothing to feel guilty about she was in the wrong to think she could make you choose between her or your family! Not even worth getting into debt for, go on your family cruise and enjoy it!!! | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:01:42 AM | Why on earth would you feel guilty? She is controlling, manipulative and has a sense of entitlement after three months. I could only imagine what she would be like after six months.
Who knows maybe you will meet your Ms. Right on the cruise.... | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:13:45 AM | I'm really surprised this post has lasted this long. Thanks to everyone who responded.
I should explain that my ex-wife of 15 years got angry once (I don't even recall what she was angry about) and told me she was never going to have sex with me again. And she didn't. Not for the remaining two years we spent together.
So yeah... it was the denial of sex thing that really prompted the break up I suppose, and it was due to that horrible past experience. I'm pretty tolerant of all the other stuff... I mean nobody's perfect.
I've talked to her since and she explained her reasoning for the denial of sex thing - she said that since I was going to be away from her, that she reasoned that I was denying her sex for seven days.
I guess I never thought about it that way... | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:32:57 AM | Sorry to hear she put you through that OP. She is a selfish and immature brat. You shouldn't feel guilty at all. She threw a temper tantrum because she couldn't get what she wanted.
Enjoy the cruise with your family, and don't give her a second thought. | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:41:20 AM | Hmmm... brother of 20+ years, girlfriend of 3 mos. Looks like a no brainer to me! First, as a three month girlfriend she has no right to feel you owe her a cruise, especially one that expensive. Secondly, if she doesn't understand family time and embrace you spending time with them now, she never will. Time ALONE with your siblings is important and if she went you would be torn between entertaining her and your family time together. Finally, anyone who withholds sex for personal gain is selfish and should be kicked to the curb anyway. Sex is not a tool, rather an expression of your feelings for a person and should not be used against one you "love".
Do not purchase the second room. Go with your family, have a great time. Maybe by the time you return she will realize how selfish that was and ask your forgiveness. At that point you can decide what to do. If she doesn't realize this is a ridiculous demand, again, she is too selfish and should be let go.
Have a great time on your trip! :) | |
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| She tried to come between me and my family, so I dumped her.
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:53:00 AM | Superlizard, in the real world you just might find that there are many men who use sex as a weapon, also! However, that begs the issue.
The old saying 'blood is thicker than water' says it all. You start talking against or trying to turn your partner, wife, husband, lover, or whoever against their family members the relationship is doomed. It is only a matter of time until that person's eyes are opened to what a truly selfish, self centered person they are with. | |
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