| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:04:19 PM | i was actually at work wen my husband packed up n left me, n wot did i get??? text message.... since that we got back together but again he broke off with text messages..
i think text is great for sayin hi etc wen at work etc n cant talk, but wen it comes to relationships n breaking them off, through text is just very immture and cowardly,, not to mention very disrespectful.. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:20:17 PM | Interesting thing about Text Messaging is the fact that rather shy people who don't normally open up end up saying a lot more. It has a way to open people up.
It is true you get a lot of players, People pretending to be another sex, different ages. One of my better friends had told me she was 22 years younger than she really was and well,... she wasn't exactly as sexy looking either. Like about 3 times larger.
Don't know why she felt she had to lie to me but she did. I suppose if I was looking to "Date" her it would been upsetting to me. The good part about Texting is the fact they can't keep up the act for ever. Lies end up being seen for what they are due to small things. One just has to keep themselves open. I have known several frauds caught on the internet. This does not mean everyone is.
Now I have over 100 people I chat with on internet. I know the sex of just about 80% of them if I was to guess. I haven't a clue of their age, what they do for a living or such. I don't chat to people trying to "Date" them. Most of my friends don't live near me so why bother. Now I do caution folks about meeting others from Internet.
Once you start wanting to meet them is where the problems come in. Most time they've already lied to you and didn't expect you to suddenly say, hey lets meet.
I find you get more Honesty about these people over a course of time if you don't use the Text Meetings as a "Dating" situation. Then perhaps after 3 to 6 months if you feel comfortable you could suggest meeting them in a public place. But if you do, remove the "Glasses" you were wearing on the Internet. 9 out of 10 times the other person won't look like they did in that picture nor sound or act as they online. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:31:02 PM | | Im open and upfront about it ill text for a while but eventually i will call and if they dont like it to bad im gone. The problem i find with texting and IM is the fact there is no emotion in it. It is words only and can be sent meaning one thing and interpreted something different and i have gotten myself into more trouble that way so for the most part i hate it | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:35:23 PM | | I am a text messaging fanatic...and often text till my thumbs are sore. HOWEVER, what I dislike about im's and texts when it comes to relationships, is the fact that it gives the person on the other end time to come up with the "perfect" response before answering. This...is not always a good thing. Id much rather the person speak with whats on their heart and mind at that very moment instead of them having time to mix up the perfect answer. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:25:26 PM | For me personally, I like to start texting first, just so I can get/feel more comfortable before I start talking to them on the phone. Then I'd say after a week or so, then I'd feel more comfortable talking to them on the phone.
Texting can be fun as long as it doesn't get out of hand too much. Texting can be like flirting, it's almost like when you're IMing someone online when you really think about it. That's just my opinion on this subject. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:32:03 PM | I agree with some of your thoughts/concerns. Text messaging can be annoying at times and should NOT take the place when learning about each other.
Text is "acceptable" when you want to send someone a quick message and are not able to pick up the phone and talk. It can also be pleasant when you want to send your S.O. a message to let them know you are thinking about them.
In no WAY should you continue texting with someone for months without so much being able to call them. That is BS and if you allow this, then you are "agreeing" to this behavior.
If you dislike the whole texting thing with a woman; deactivate it or just tell them you will NOT continue to base a "relationship" or this as a form of communicating with them. Remember we do have choices and should voice/exercise them!
Best,
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:42:39 PM | I think of text messaging as another communication tool. With some, it can be used sparingly. With others, it's an easier way to communicate. For instance, it is easier to answer a text if I'm at work, in class (though in that case, I normally don't answer until there's a break) or somewhere where it's loud.
Maybe its a generational thing. Texting can be very convenient for things like, "I'm on my way, see you in 5 min", or some such thing, but to have entire conversations with it, just to pass the time? Nah, not for me. Pick up the phone and we can have a real conversation.
I do agree With Happier Ever...Maybe in most of the above quote, though. If it's going to be a whole conversation, just pick up the phone. I get on one of my friend's cases about that all the time. After a series of text messages, I'm likely to just call the person. The main exception I'll make is with my father. This is where I don't think it's necessarily generational. My dad is extremely hard-of-hearing. Unless he's in a situation where there's little or no background noise and I am somewhere where I can talk loudly, talking on the phone with him is nearly impossible. Text messaging has been a blessing for him (and for my sister and I) sometimes. Granted if it's a long conversation, I'll wait for him to be in a spot where we can really talk. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:47:28 PM | | I hate texting people period. I'd rather just call and leave a voice message on the phone that takes 2 seconds, rather than sending a 2 minute text of, waste of time. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:25:42 PM | It's just another communication tool. I like it and it works well for me. I find myself often times in situations where talking on the phone is difficult because there is so much background noise or it would be rude.. whereas sending a txt is much more convenient.
I don't think it makes it harder or easier. People are people regardless of the medium.
I don't chat on line. It bores the hell out of me to sit at the computer endlessly, even if the conversation is good. I want to get up and walk around. When exchanging emails, guys always ask about IM'ing. I say I'm terrible at it but am great w/email, txt, phone and in person. 99.999999% of the time, the guy will chose to start with txting. Which is completely fine with me. It's convenient and I don't have to sit at the computer. Double yay.
This may go on for long enough to ascertain if the person is engaging and can carry a conversation and then move to phone, with txt still in between. I can't imagine going for much longer than a week and absolutely wouldn't be inclined to have an entire beginning friendship based around only txt. I'm likely to lose interest if they don't want to meet w/in a week or two, let alone are too afraid to talk on the phone. Typically a couple of txts and a request to gab gets thrown in.
When I was in a relationship, the cell phone was a fantastic flirtation tool. Quick little messages here and there to let the other know they were thought about. Maybe a picture to share what you were doing in the moment.. or wished to be doing with them.
I don't think texting is really the issue. Like all forms of communication, it's the people involved that will make it a good or bad experience. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:40:05 PM |
Texting is convient when you cant talk, like the bar etc. My friends and I text when meeting up somewhere, I text my family to say hi, I text my kid when I'm in Vegas
I wonder if this is done at clubs. Two people, young; full of energy and life, good looking and scantily dressed, sweaty and hot as they've just stepped off the dance floor; in the prime of the evening, they're hot to socialize, so they whip out their phones, and text between themselves, while physically they're and arm's length from each other. The sound is deafening; the lights are brilliant yet it's dark; text.
I don't know if it's done, but it's gotta be.
This is much more civilized than in my youth, when a coupe had to go to the lavatory together to have a conversation. Aside from being civilized, the communication with pheremones can find the other's olfactory senses easier than in the stink. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:38:18 AM | I have found that text messaging a deal breaker - sometimes things are texted, and the other person may read it in a way that the texter did NOT intend (this has happened many a time for me).
I have also found this to be the same with e-mailing. The internet should only be a tool to meet people. After about a maximum of a couple of weeks, you should meet if there is a spark.
Otherwise, you may find yourself 'in like' with someone that you have partially made up.
Just my 2 cents!
CC. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:55:51 AM | MSG 85 July Morning
Nothing like flirting with some guy sitting at your table of 10 in a loud bar. I had a thing with a 'co-worker' for 3 years and no one at work knew, cause we just 'text' until we met up after the bar! Was alot of fun! | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:40:49 AM | | cause talking on the phone annoys me highly and i can't stand talking on it unless its a close friend...texting is my best friend so ya i'm guilty for using it often but eh its better than holding the phone to my ear right in front of my man lol...though he complains too cause i spend so much time on my phone either texting or using msn | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:15:18 PM | | Sometimes I think texting is great..... I don't have many minutes on my phone, but i have unlimited text. I can text my friends, family, or whoever then if they r busy they can get back to me. If i text a guy......I don't know where he is and if he's home or at work sometimes....texting is one way to know if someone really wants to speak with you or not. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:58:28 AM | | I had a whacko that I met on Craig's text the hell out of me. She even sent me one with a picture from the OR of a hospital. Blamed me for everything. I nver even knew how to do atext until I met her. She was a drunkard and I found out. I've had that feauture disconnected from my service. I get shivers thinking about them. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:11:09 AM | | I met a great guy on another dating site and we have met and have been seeing each other for a few weeks now. Everything is great EXCEPT there are no phonecalls involved. Everything is done through text messaging. There have already been a couple of misunderstandings because that's what can happen when you use text exclusively. I don't like it. I think text has its use and purpose--for quick messages: such as thinking of you during the day or I'm going to be late getting there, or a little fun naughtyness. But, I am over it as a means of all communication when we are not together. It is going to end up ruining what could turn out to be an otherwise good relationship. I don't get it. Why can't we ever talk on the phone? It's like he wants to hide behind his phone when I think he's great! I mean, we have already met so what is it? Am I being unreasonable here? I am 42 years old, not 15. I want REAL and easy to understand communication. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:22:58 AM | my phone has texting blocked. i don't do IM at all; i like a written record of what we have said to one another, in particular when conversing with a stranger. plus, i can't stand it when i'm writing a forum response and i get these stupid and meaningless messages flashed at me by total strangers, interrupting what i am trying to write. then, there are the people with incessant anxiety attacks, with little interest in my life. they just want to whine. and definitely no webcams here. having had kids, i did all this for another reason. but no new reason for me to act like a kid either.
all that being said, once in a relationship, i would consider it, assuming not abused and chronic. for some, it's cheaper that way. typically once a member of my family, we have phones that communicate for free anyways.
so, i'd say just get rid of the function altogether, with no purpose and with no special person you "know". putting a block on texting hasn't affected me at all, except to ward off mosquitos! and when i get the phone record, i know exactly who my kids have been speaking to, as texting does not show up on the record by the phone company. just calls. hmmm, maybe someone does not "want" the record to show up on the bill. someone else may read it? you can lock your phone, but not the mail. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:35:16 PM | iv experienced girls who ask for my number and then constantly text me, uneccessary stuff like asking what im doing or what do i think of certain shows on tv etc, it get's very annoying so now i rarely give my number out, i hate texting at the best of times let alone having to text meaningless dribble back n forth. text should be for emergency only or if your meeting up letting the person know if your on time or not.
i do think women who constantly text for the sake of it are lacking something mentally so are therefore inferior to me and not worth knowing. | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:00:49 PM | I'll be honest that I didn't read all the replies, so my apologies if I'm echoing what someone else said.
I think texting is fine at the beginning, or as others have said, for a quick touch base. Anything more, though, dirves me nuts.
It isn't really much different than the folks who just want to chat online forever but never meet. Some are afraid of actually meeting someone because that is risky. You risk A)not being liked in person and B)not liking the other person.
I met one girl on here who gave me her number and told me she'd like me to call her, but asked me to text first. Honestly, it made me wonder if she was already in a relationship and wanted to make sure I didn't call at an "awkward" time. Maybe that is just me being hyper-vigilant, though.
Personally, I don't mind a few texts back and forth, but then I either ask if she wouldn't mind me just calling her, or I just call and see what happens. I mean, what could POSSIBLY be the reason for text only for that long? It isn't like chatting with someone online who you aren't comfortable giving your number to because you already have their number! | |
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| Is Text Messaging Making It Even Harder?
Posted: 8/21/2008 5:22:41 PM | To avoid all of this nonsense, I don't text at all.
And if I am sharing emails with a person and they have not indicated an interest in speaking on the phone or shy away from my invitation, even if I continue to reply to their emails out of kindness, it's over.
I don't believe one can have a true, honest relationship with anyone on line, via email. It's just not, in my mind, possible.
Only real interaction in the real world can create real relationships. Anything anyone creates over time on line, via email and text is not real. | |
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