| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:46:17 PM | | Maybe it is the potential let down. Also, the effort to " suit up & show up" is too much sometimes. It takes me out of my comfort zone too knowing that someone is going to be checking me out from head to toe as well & asking a lot of questions. It can be like a 2nd job. My full-time job is enough. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:53:42 PM |
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Most of todays women only want to date up. It would probably make a difference if a lot of women spent less time looking in the mirror and more time looking into the guys who show interest. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:24:46 PM | | It is a funny thing about "up" though, if you look at all the McMansions in forclosure these days, "up" can become "bottom" in a few days these days, and "up" comes with it's own set of problems, lot of users and players in "up" | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:40:14 PM |
Maybe it is the potential let down. Also, the effort to " suit up & show up" is too much sometimes. It takes me out of my comfort zone too knowing that someone is going to be checking me out from head to toe as well & asking a lot of questions. It can be like a 2nd job. My full-time job is enough.
I thought that the initial meeting was supposed to be casual. Do people really get ‘fixed up’ to go on a meet? I don’t get that. I wouldn’t say to be messy, but aren’t first meetings supposed to be about normal everyday ‘who you are’ meetings, like just stopping into a coffee shop for 15 – 30 minutes?
I guess that I think casual and comfortable in everything that I do. If I am to meet a woman, I want to meet that woman, not a false impression of that woman. I guess that dressing up just seems like a false reality to me.
What if the other person makes the first contact?
Where were you going with that? | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:04:18 PM | What keeps me from meeting anyone? No one seems to want to meet me.
I don't know if Ive reached "critical mass" or the cynicism of the world has finally taken over, but I havent even had an email reply in weeks, let alone a date. Im seriously beginning to think I should just get a bunch of cats, start talking to myself in public, and be done with it. Not like its going to make me any more alone!!!! | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:18:06 PM | Another question to go with this thread.
How many of you that are not meeting someone is worried about it?
Not here. I look at it this way. If I meet somebody fantastic worth being with that is great, and if not AHHHHHHHHH still have freedom and don't have to put up with the SHITE that goes with relationships. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:21:08 PM | A young lady that I have become very enamoured with had planned to visit me at the end of a business trip. We had been chatting on the net for awhile, and this was to be our first meeting.
At the last minute, a family emergency came up and she canceled. The emergency was legitimate, but since that time she has not only refused to reschedule the meeting, but has refused to allow me to come to her.
Two months have passed, and now "she just wants to be friends", but she "wants me to wait for her". And she "doesn't have the great want to meet me", but she "wants me to wait until she has worked out her issues".
Now, there is a joker in the deck. A few years ago, she had been chatting with a fellow on the 'net and arranged to meet him. He came to her. He was "perfect"; considerate, nice, everything she thought she wanted. He was staying in a motel while he visited her, and she finally became comfortable enough with him to go to his room with him for a couple of drinks. He drugged her, raped her, beat her, and left her pregnant. She miscarried at 7 1/2 months.
So, to put it succinctly, she has a trauma issue and in the current situation, though she is also greatly enamoured of me, she has managed to place my face on the monster in her head, and has become afraid to meet me. She recognizes the issue - sometimes - but the monster is in control, she is lying to herself, and she is lying about me.
I do not know if there is a solution, and I am having a great deal of trouble dealing with it. I don't think that walking away is the right thing, and I don't want to anyway. I have helped her deal with some issue prior to this, and while I was aware of this rape I was not aware of how big an issue it was. At the present time, although she is aware that she is lying to herself, and she is aware that she is blocking feelings about me, she is unable to face this monster. I cannot help her because I myself have become the focus of her struggle simply because we met on the net and she fell for me.
I have no idea what to do. But this is why she and I are not meeting at the present time. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:21:37 PM | The main reason why I would put the brakes on if I say I want to meet someone is because I find this the strangest way of meeting someone..I mean.. typing a few lines..talking on the phone..you have a picture to go by only really, then you meet. If I say I will meet someone I usually will.
I like the old fashioned way best. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:23:45 PM | i met someone,
everything was fine from both of us in the begin. I was just happy when she was around.
A week later, begining to know her more ...drama begin. She is depressive, still lot of drama with her ex, and then telling me she is not ready for a relationship . Her ex live in the same bulding... But she still want everything a boyfriend gives....some kind of a friend with benefits but not exactly that. More of a boyfriend but without commitement or without her giving or doing anything to maintain any relationship loll.
So i think ill just take a break of dating. Adding to the fact that im french and my english is not that good... i think that what keep me to decline a meeting. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:31:28 PM | meeting people isn't a problem for me , it's meeting someone I want to see again on a level stronger than friendship , oh heck , just see again at all ,period.
I've just had a string of bad luck in the past few months so I'm taking a breather, not saying I'm not open to meeting/hanging out , I think I just lost a bit of my "woot get out there and date mojo" | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:32:18 PM | Another thing for me, I really am ok being single. So unless Miss Right comes along no reason to get worked up about not being with some lady.
JMO, but reading posts there are a lot of people that can't handle being alone and to each their own. I am just glad I am not one of them | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:36:09 PM | For me it lack of enthusiasm anymore. I find that I don't like taking time from my personal free time, to want to put the effort in to it, for a 50/50 maybe chance.
It is hard for me to get excited about it. If it doesn't work, then I think.... I could of been doing this or that in that time.
I think I am just becoming too settled in life and enjoy my space and time. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:48:40 PM | Re: I thought that the initial meeting was supposed to be casual. Do people really get ‘fixed up’ to go on a meet? I don’t get that. I wouldn’t say to be messy, but aren’t first meetings supposed to be about normal everyday ‘who you are’ meetings, like just stopping into a coffee shop for 15 – 30 minutes?
They sure do get fixed up. First impressions make lasting impressions. It takes some effort. We aren't going to just show up without putting something into it.
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:49:25 PM | Hmm I will narrow the long list down to the top three...
Anxiety, the fact I will be letdown since it happens with me for everything, and self-image. I know myself too well to want to date me so why would I expect anyone else to. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:56:53 PM | I'm very, very picky. Especially when it comes to meeting people online. It is very hard to pique my interest. I've been here for a bit over a year, and I can honestly say that only 2-3 people have even remotely interested me.
(This is mostly because profiles in my area generally only consist of 2 sentence, and they tend to try to represent themselves entirely with photos. Honestly, I feel that if you need to use the phrase "I don't want to give it all away at once; what would we talk about?!" after having only written two sentences, you're entirely too boring for me...) | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:44:10 PM |
They sure do get fixed up. First impressions make lasting impressions. It takes some effort. We aren't going to just show up without putting something into it.
I dunno about that. In dealing with people in general, I never go off of first impressions. I have met too many decent folk that pulled a knife out once I looked away; figuratively speaking of course. I have also met too many quiet ‘sad’ looking folks that turned out to be some of the most awesome and lively people that I have ever met. I have met too many people that are angry and mean and spiteful then find that they cry everyday when they are alone.
Think about in dating, from a mans side. A woman shows up, she looks beautiful and perfect and smiles at all things. What does that say? She pulls off some really good conversation. What does that say? None of that says anything about her in who she is. If I want to know what a woman is like, then I want to see her in her daily routine. I would say that I would like to see her house to find out how she lives and find out if she is slightly ocd about it, but that would probably be a little creepy up front. Of course, to me, a slight ocd on cleanliness and organization is always a plus. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:02:12 AM | Two things:
One...... Not wanting to be the bad guy. 99% of the people you might meet you will have to let down somehow. The fear of Brutal honesty slipping out restrains me at least in looking. If you don't click.......how do you cut it off nicely before the other's persons expectation get too high.
Two.....The fear the other person will be too energetic or pursue you too hard and you fear you become mentally, emotional and physically exhausted. Stalking is also a fear | |
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TLC_
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Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 74 | |
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