| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:57:54 AM | Sorry OP and some posters I don't thinks it fair to give someone the impression you want to meet then throw in your tried and trusted excuse(s). You should be clear/honest from the start.
Sorry some other posters. Some people with the less than honest excuses, well they were never going to meet in the first place due to:
Monday ...you holding the position of time filler as, TV is a tad boring on monday nite
Tuesday...the have a menu of lovely people to choose and you didnt quite make the cut
Wednesday...emergency call from work, the chickens have escaped and running amok downtown.
Thurs...vanished from face of the earth
Friday...damn those connection difficulties
Saturday... day out with one of their special friends and a nice dinner (possibly grilled chicken)
Sunday...Is good... Oh wait - the mayans forgot to carry the 1 and the end times are imminent. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:10:31 AM | Many people are on this dating site for different reasons..We should be dating but we all find excuses at times.. It is harder to have the umth to meet a stranger who can be lying, a fake, have a photo that is years old, be disabled and have not said, lots of different things I have heard from others about their meets and some stories have been atwell and truly unfair.. some are married and just want flings.. Most of us have not the time to waste on untrue dates.. but can we trust anyone very often.. who is true to their profile?.. I tend to take all with a pinch of salt and stick to meets in my area as I don't want to waste money and time if the person is a fake... I have got out of some meets I must admit.. a lot in fact.. Just something they say sometimes can put you off.. or you have an inclination that they are not right for you or live just a bit too far away...I have done very few meets really but so far have not yet found anyone who I would wish to have a relationship with.. I must say (yet ) as one day someone might make me sit up and go for it... so to speak.. I need to have the want for someone to want to meet again and again.. It seems to not happen very often in our lives.. but we live in hope... good luck to all on here....... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:02:50 AM | My main reason for meeting people is that Hollywood and the general impression people get when you say the words LAS VEGAS - men think all women here are hookers, prostitutes, brothel workers, and the women has a mattress on their back. When you try to talk to a man on the phone or in e-mail, it has ALWAYS turned into - "I am coming over with coffee so we can have sex." "Want to see a movie and then we can have sex." "I will drive my motorhome so we can have sex."
People have failed to understand and/or listen to the fact that I want to know someone first, be friends first and then see where it goes. I like to give a man enough time so his lies become obvious before I end up in an HIV/AIDS clinic or treated for hepatitis. I will NOT go out with any man like the aforementioned that dips his wick in any old candle that comes his way. That kind is truly frightful, careless, dangerous, heartless and beneath me. That kind of man is not capable of caring about someone like me - employed, educated, with degrees, independent, not a gold digger, etc. Why self myself short? No thank you. I prefer staying single or being alone versus settling for a diseased pervert, a violent man, a liar/cheat/sneak or thief. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:22:32 PM | The biggest thing for me so far is procrastination, the forever flow of IM's, and the God forsaken "lets meet for coffee." LOL
I get bored.
And I get bored with it quick.
If someone wants to have a forever conversation on IM, they'll have better luck on a chat line. I'm on the phone all day at work and on the computer. I wanna meet on the weekend when I/We can relax, unwind and 'just go with it.'~ no expectations or anything. Let it happen as it will. If not, then better luck next time.
It seems as if men on this site blow one off for whatever they "think" would be better - body wise and/or whatever the heck goes through their minds, lol.
I'm finding the men here dont really take the time out to get to know someone for who they really are. Thats why I dont do "coffee meets."- so stupid.......... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:10:13 PM | I suppose it's a lack of confidence. When the time comes to actually take it to RL and meet in person, the weight of having whatever fantasy you have about the person you have been chatting with usually dies quickly. It could be something big or something small, but reality bites when you pictured in your mind the person being better dressed, doesn't have a flaw but you end up finding one you never anticipated (whatever that may be to you), or they just look older than they appeared on their profile pic. If you run into something like that constantly you are going to be very hesitant I suppose.
For myself personally I think my problem is that I don't have smooth talking charisma. I suppose my personality can be blamed 70 % of the time and every thing you see on this site of what a woman is looking for is, "sense of humor/ability to make me laugh" I strike out on that one most of the time.
Now if someone was looking for an intellectual conversation or someone just laid back then I'd be good. The problem is also that I live a bit out of the way, so even if I was able to get to my nearest population center (Buffalo) the prospects for me still aren't in my favor. What I need to do to meet someone I have decided is to move to a city that has more intellectual/professional college educated people where there would be more in common. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:45:50 PM | | For me..being over my target weight is one but another would be the look someone gives you that tells you they are not interested. At the moment, I dont want to meet someone but I am enjoying talking to alot of people.I like the email thing as you can learn about people but the real iside scoop is meeting them. i dont beleive that you have to meet right away...and there should be no pressure for anything... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:02:38 PM | | I have met many people - dated a lot - a true variety at first. But the process led me to learn more about what I really want. So now, knowing what I want, I find fewer real matches... so meet fewer people. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:09:17 PM | I'm not certain that I'm going to post relevent to your question yet, I am attempting to answer it.
I SLAM on the brakes with anyone who feels entitled to be an oaf, act like a knave, behave like a rude, crude, lewd, obnoxious jackass, or a boor.
My Momma wouldn't tolerate this behavior from any man and neither will I.
Poor manners make ugly bedfellows | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:44:49 PM | I meet all my dates at Canadian Tire,it's a nice public place and they usually have great hot dog stands in front of the building for later if initially everything goes well...once in the place I get in one of those big fancy shopping carts and ask my date to push me...if she runs for the exit screaming I still get to stay and play with all the nifty tools...if she laughs and pushes me then we both get to play with the tools together and she also gets a sausage/Coke as a treat.The only reason I don't go to Tim Hortons is because they won't let you bring the cart in...I think they should allow that.
RatzoRico | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 162 | |
| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:13:19 AM | When you put aside all the obstacles of kids and work what is it that ultimately makes you put the brakes on and make excuses to decline a meeting?
Simple. Im not interested in them.
It wouldnt even get to the point of them asking me to meet because I can tell if a man is interested in me or not simply by chatting or talking to him and I think its important to approach the situation and address the issue honestly.
Its called having respect for other people.
Ive met a few guys off the net and it was always upfront known it was never going to be anything more than friendship. They never tried anything more, I wouldnt attempt to take advantage of them either... and we're still friends.
But if I wanna meet someone in a romantic sense...nothing will stop me. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:19:10 AM | Thats' the problem that a lot of people have..they feel like they can "get to know" you by just chatting on the phone or via email..
i disagree and here's why. you can potentially tell ALOT about somebody based on their interactions w/ you thru email or over the phone. can they string together a coherent sentence? do they have anything interesting to say? can they engage in anything but the most insipid small-talk imaginable? and, is there any of that subtle "connection" that is hard to define but you know it when you feel it? if yes, then they've just crossed the next threshold and they are worthy of a little face time | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:49:19 AM | I have enjoyed meeting people from this site. I don't like too many emails and phone calls. I'm here to actually meet someone and I try to do just that. I enjoy it, though, as many others seem to think of it as a waste of time if there is no love connection.
I have not had a "bad" experience. Everyone I've met has been respectful and all interesting in their own unique ways.
The only true frustration is that there are some I've seen in forums or that have emailed me that I'd love to get together with and they are just too far away. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 5:23:22 AM | first of all, lack of attraction.
But even with attraction and an initial interest in meeting, but finding out all he wants is a POA (which is a great majority of them) or that he just wants to "hang out" or have an "activity partner." Yeah, we know what part will be "hanging out" and we know what "activity" he means.
So many men seem to have lost interest in dating at all and just want to fast forward to the sex almost immediately upon meeting. There's nothing wrong with sex; it's an integral part of any relationship between a man and a woman, IMO. However, it seems that nowadays that's all there is, that's all people are interested in anymore. And I find that completely unfulfilling, and boring as hell. If I want to get off, I can do that myself, and quite well, tyvm.
So most of the time, meeting someone turns out to be a huge waste of my time, and gas. Which is why, in nine years of being on dating sites, I have met probably 10 or 11 guys, and only one of those I have been out with more than once, and he's history, too, because he lacks the desire for a normal relationship as well.
I'd rather stay single than to deal with men who have so many issues about relationships, or who are in their 40s still acting like horny little teenagers trying to see how many notches he can carve on his bedpost.
What good is JUST a penis? Hell, a penis can't take out the trash, mow the lawn, lift heavy things, or even carry on a good conversation. Although I have known a few that were more intellectually stimulating than their owners. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 5:43:50 AM | | For me its more of a financial hardship. My job doesnt pay much as it is, so with gas prices (most of the men id be interested in meeting are a distance away from me) and my mortgage gone up AGAIN, i just cant afford to go on dates right now. So for now, just yakkin in the forums. lol | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:02:38 AM | I just read through all 7 or so pages on this thread.
WOW, how depressing.
We are a fine lot, eh?
What stops ME from meeting someone?
First thing... gotta get a nibble on my line, that would help.
Second thing... there are (at last count) FOUR men (around my age) on PoF in a 15 mile radius of me.
Thirdly... I'm willing to consider any mile radius but in general guys are put-off by my chair. Just a fact of life, oh well.
And #4... I HAVE met a few from long distance, but it's been they want everything to come to them, very selfish. (except for one man and dang it, there is a border to contend with)
Now.. about my #4. I think it is very very very very common here, on PoF.
People sit in their little comfort zone and secretly wish someone would just come knock on their door and enter into THEIR life.
It's a two way street and not many want to go down it.
As is apparent on this thread. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:56:33 AM | Well, I’m getting fed up with all of the deceit that both Men and Women
do on POF and other sites.
Some of the Women and some of the Men on POF are sincere in their endeavors
to find their perfect partner for the rest of their lives.
This is going to make quite a few of you ladies very angry and I know I will get a lot of e-mail calling me a very shallow person and rude.
You ladies say men are looking for the Barbie’s out there. Well those of you who think that way are very shallow and jealous of the women out there who care about their health and are concerned with their appearance. You women and men who claim to be average
are really not. For the most part you women and men are over weight. According to the AMA average weight for a woman Approx. 5’2 tall is 115-135 lbs. If you are over that you should say a few extra pounds. 150 pounds is and will always be slightly over weight. Don’t you understand, when and if you meet someone, you will be busted on the spot so why lie, tell the truth unless you are into the game scene. The only way to find a man that will be interested in you is to be truthful. Another thing is using the wrong picture. Some use other people’s photos. That shows you are ashamed of your looks, don’t be. God made you the way he wanted to. Be proud of yourself and most of all be yourself. Then when you meet someone he or she will know what you look like and there will be no hurt feelings. If you men and women truly want to meet your so-called Soul Mate show your whole body photo. Men to are very guilty of the same thing. Guys loose the “POT GUTS” that looks disgusting. Don’t you know what you look like in your swimming trunks? It’s time to suck in that gut and push out your chest, unless you don’t care and want to look like a slob.
Some of you ladies get angry when you say a man is looking for a woman around the corner from him. Well ladies, most of you want to be taken out to dinner and dancing.
You add that up with driving over 50 miles with the price of gas today this guy is looking at a $200.00 or more per date. If you ladies had to fit that kind of bill every time you had a date with a perspective partner who was supposed to be who they per triad to be, and come to find out they were not who this man expected you would get tired of it too!
This blog will be continued I’m sure of that! I have a lot more to say on this subject, after I get all of the insults and the shame on me e-mails.
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:48:42 AM | I don't know why people put off meeting.
Sure, I've had excuses of my own- flat tire, nothing (clean, or appropriate- yeah, pathetic) to wear, "conflict schedule," last minute call from (take your pick- work, ex, son, daughter, sister, brother, mother, cousin, complete-stranger-I-met-in-the-lobby-at-the-bank, etc), missing shoelace, can't find matching (or even close to matching) socks, yadda yadda yadda.
Or the "real" reason, "cold feet," or, more brutally honest, "wimped out."
The worst form of "wimping out" are the old "she's too (hot, young, old, wealthy, smart, dumb, poor, athletic, sedentary, etc)" lame excuses.
Of course I've done that, I have my own insecurity demons like everybody else.
I've recently come to realize that women generally aren't going to bite, scratch, hit, or otherwise injure me on a "first meet." I'm here to meet people (mostly of the female sort), it's kinda silly to be here and not meet to see if they're someone I might like to spend a day or an evening with. Or not.
So.
Who's up for coffee and/or a sandwich, walk in the park, shopping for henweigh? | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 11:36:31 AM | | They have no profession or back ground other than 3 or 4 kids they are paying for and will the rest of their life and no income of any worthwhile substance and expect women to pay their part if not more and do the cooking . cleaning and etc etc Not that it really is a surprise as this site is free so they want just a friend with favors,,,$$$$$$$money, Love, etc etc. As long as it is free and cost them nothing. | |
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