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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:16:49 PM | | For a long time I had no desire to even try and then a few weeks ago I got into a car accident. Someone almost hit me head on and thank God the only damage was to my car and not to me. After that, something inside of me woke up and said "what are you waiting for." Sometimes, I think it takes something to jolt you awake to make you realize what you are letting slip away in life, that was my wake call. I am now ready, life is short, don't let it pass you by. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:17:46 PM |
I've recently come to realize that women generally aren't going to bite, scratch, hit, or otherwise injure me on a "first meet.".
Oh no, not on a first meet. They save that stuff for when you are not looking.
Ha haha.
BTW, what’s a henweigh? | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:15:43 PM | I dont make a meeting that I dont keep. I dont stand people up. Ever. That is just beign a coward.
But I decline to MAKE an arrangement if:
they've lied about something in their profile
they call repeatedly several times a day from the minute they ask for your number.
they act sorry for themselves for not meeting you yet or not having their calls answered
if they keep dodging the opportunity to meet up until that point (always "have plans" or "too tired" or this or that).
if its been more than a week since you first began messaging.
if their photo looks like they dont take care of themselves (unshaven, overweight, etc)
I decide the distance is just too great. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:50:48 AM | bassgirl747 , nice post
but : "if their photo looks like they dont take care of themselves (unshaven, overweight, etc" is a bit much, dont you think?
I agree with you that a person def needs to keep his appearance!! You betcha, but overweight is a bit much. Some people can truly not help the metabolism of their bodies, nor can some UNDERweight .
Unshaven, unkempt, bad breath can be a problem, but you shouldnt judge someone on things that can not always be helped.
great post otherwize! | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:53:39 AM | what keeps me from meeting someone?
I keep trying to find someone who has original thought. I'm too fussy. I'm not attracted to people with old ideas about courtship/dating or whatever. The whole scene is just so banal.
maybe I made that up because I suck at dating, but I don't want to be good at going through motions I'm not interested in. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:03:13 AM | | Me...well I self sabotage my relationships through unknowing means. I go for ones that I know I cannot have. I have a begun a habit of not staying in one place for more than a couple years and I typically meet someone right before I move. Whoooo! | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:21:02 AM | Hi
I have some very strange and unimaginable reasons for not meeting someone !! Really they're odd !!
I like to chat with someone either on voice or on the phone prior to thinking of meeting.... I decline to meet them if:
They have a high pitched voice (I know it's mad, but true)
They swear alot
They talk about just wanting to meet for sex
They talk about their ex's all the time
They turn everything round to be about them
They suggest they have a friend that might want to meet me with them (yes the 3some!!)
A few others I can't think of right now !!
That's just me !! haha - Karen x | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:33:57 PM | Personally I have the same issue as women, but I have learned that self confidence is a great ice breaker. Everyone on earth has some issue, its just how you deal with it that either makes you or breaks you ! (NO OBSESSING). Do something good for yourself, each and every day. Make yourself meet someone new, whether it be in the grocery store, or just standing in line at the movies. People do overlook things in others, as you should do for yourself. Never be afraid to stick out your hand and introduce yourself to someone. Even if you have nothing to say after that... It will help you over come your obsession with yourself..
Thats how I see it and Im sticking to it.  | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/29/2008 4:08:04 AM | "Openlove, I think it is time for you to grow up.
You sound like a little sissy who can't understand the
plain truth."
MY point exactly...and THIS is coming from a "grown" man?
Hmmm....
Thanks for making my point! | |
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sep72
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Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 188 | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/29/2008 6:05:17 AM | The key to this is to wear them down and be persistent enough until they lack enough energy to resist the temptation that you put forth to begin with that they never knew they had until they became vulnerable. 
Seriously though, just have some self confidence and if it falls into place then it is meant to be! | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/29/2008 8:11:12 AM | I no where your coming from when you say bout self image, as i usually just decline meeting ,but i have been speaking with this guy for 2 weeks and i have decided to just go for it. We are meeting on saturday .The way i see it is that you have nothing to lose in meeting.Because how can get to no someone properly if you dont meet you can only find out so much about someone to a certain point by talking on fone,e-mail etc...... so you never no it could be the best thing you could do!!!! just go for it  | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/29/2008 10:07:26 PM | | I think most of us think we will not live up to the exspectations of the person we are meeting for the first time. There are no guaratees in life but, we all seem to want one. Fear is what holds most of us back. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:37:02 AM | I talked with a guy from here a few days ago, and all he could do was talk about himself. I noticed that right away he has an ego, so that was a problem. Also, he's used to having so many beautiful women, it's normal to him.(Like I'm dog food!) And he asked me, why did I like him? I told him straight out, I thought he had a funny profile and he made me laugh. Also I complimented him on his eyes. I thought they were beautiful. I think it scared the hell out of him.Because now, he won't talk to me. He knows I'm the real deal, and I will call him out on any BS just in case.
So, hey, I think it's his ****ing loss. And he just wants to be freinds. I'm okay with that. I'm not gonna go and get married to the guy WTF? I think it's because he is scared that it might actually be some chemistry there if we really met in person.
Oh, well. On to the next one. lol! Btw, he told me that he did think I was pretty cool. Oh well... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:54:40 AM |
Lack of interest in the way "meeting/dating" has evolved, is the main reason for me. I have no interest in the proverbial meet-greet, nor do I wish to play the silly multi-meet game. Hence, dateless. I'm OK with that.
verygreeneyez - I completely agree.
So, it all comes down to the question of what you are looking for? If you are looking for just dating and you like the multi-meet game, then if they seem attractive and fun from their profile you think - what the heck.
But, if you are seriously looking for long term, then you look at possible areas of conflict if things were to get serious and you weed out those that have them. This is what I do. I know the areas that cannot be compromised and I don't meet those guys. I can't risk falling in love with a guy that is all wrong for me because I ignored a "red" flag.
All that being said - what keeps me from meeting a guy is relationship status, smoker, kids and wanting/not wanting more, and religion are the key things. The minor things would be how much age difference and what they say they are looking for. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:59:10 PM | | When the guy is overly forthcoming...pushing their # on you..telling u to call...wanting to meet up after chatting with them a few times! I like to 'get to know' a person before agreeing to meet up with 'em so I can get a gist of them and less awkward silences. So far it's worked for me....first meetings have been like catching up with an old friend =)...a time to be yourself! | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/3/2008 10:22:19 PM | I won't meet a guy if he insists on meeting at his place or mine regardless of how well the chats/emails/calls have been. This isn't just for women's safety... I heard a guy was all too happy that a woman from online was willing to meet at his place for the 1st time. 
He got robbed!  | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:13:53 PM | Almost nothing keeps me from going through with it if I get to the point of arranging a meeting. The one time I backed out was when a man replied to a previous e-mail and altered the words of my original message so that I seemed to be agreeing to do something I'd told him I wasn't interested in (no, it wasn't sex...). Pretty sure he meant it as a joke, but my sense of humor failed to ever kick in on that one; the more I thought about it, the creepier it seemed, so I canceled.
There are plenty of things that will keep me from ever getting to the meeting stage, but I don't think that was the idea of the OP.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:25:27 PM | Simple answer **OP** No one has faith in someone who claims to be unconditional; and that is me.
You've heard the old saying..."If it seems to good to be true, it probably is"??
Anyone who believes or adheres to such a notion has put the brakes on their spiritual growth, and knows nothing of trueness within the self, or others.
NOTHING is too good to be true, for if one can perceive enough to portray, then it must exist. And if another can recognize such perseverance in that, then it too must exist.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is too good to be true, if it has been presented to us, no matter what form or introduction. It is inevitably up to those who choose to perceive, whether or not they contain the faith, and loss of the pain and past to acknowledge and manifest such notion.
If you believe it's to good to be true, than for YOU, and YOU ONLY, it is!!
It still, simply is...
Love is an act of faith....
God Bless.
Scott. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/4/2008 3:24:41 AM | first of all, lack of attraction.
But even with attraction and an initial interest in meeting, but finding out all he wants is a POA (which is a great majority of them) or that he just wants to "hang out" or have an "activity partner." Yeah, we know what part will be "hanging out" and we know what "activity" he means.
So many men seem to have lost interest in dating at all and just want to fast forward to the sex almost immediately upon meeting. There's nothing wrong with sex; it's an integral part of any relationship between a man and a woman, IMO. However, it seems that nowadays that's all there is, that's all people are interested in anymore. And I find that completely unfulfilling, and boring as hell. If I want to get off, I can do that myself, and quite well, tyvm.
So most of the time, meeting someone turns out to be a huge waste of my time, and gas. Which is why, in nine years of being on dating sites, I have met probably 10 or 11 guys, and only one of those I have been out with more than once, and he's history, too, because he lacks the desire for a normal relationship as well.
I'd rather stay single than to deal with men who have so many issues about relationships, or who are in their 40s still acting like horny little teenagers trying to see how many notches he can carve on his bedpost.
What good is JUST a penis? Hell, a penis can't take out the trash, mow the lawn, lift heavy things, or even carry on a good conversation. Although I have known a few that were more intellectually stimulating than their owners.
Gee, I wonder why it is that you can't find someone.
:D
I couldn't help having a chuckle when I read this post. Genuinely makes me wanna give you a big hug until all the pain goes away.
I haven't been out meeting women often. What I do notice is that a few of them try to stuff you into this pigeon hole. They are so determined that you are just trying to have sex with them, that they completely miss out on a decent experience with a guy like just a nice pleasant afternoon with pleasant conversation. They are quick to jump to conclusions and are really up-tight. You realise how they are torturing themselves but there is nothing you can do for them. There's nothing you can say (because you are a con-artist) so you just wanna hug them (but then you're a groper).
They don't realise that indulging role-play as the victim perpetuates their victimisation. They victimise themselves.
They don't realise what a powerfully negative signal they're putting out. The only guys who are going to bother with them are the desperate ones (and there's always at least a few of those). The desperate ones are the ones who are single minded about finding warm, moist environment for storing their penis. | |
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