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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:43:58 PM | How about volunteer/charitable organizations? They should be plenty around in New York. Habitat for Humanity, Soups/Homeless Shelter, Animal Shelter,
Or even your professional associations/desginations like Toastmasters.
Its hard though to socialize when you have very little time in the weekends and too tired to even go out in the evenings after work.
Try even gym like YMCA
What I've been told, try to relax and enjoy life - make friends with people instead cause life is really short. You knows you might bump into your future gf/by when you're not busy trying to look too hard.
Good luck! | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:58:34 PM | Although gyms are often filled with hard bodies. I didn't know men that lifted with wedding rings on. They were there to exercise and not flirt or talk. Yes, you do get to know the guys and who is and who isn't married, but it does take time.
I also love the list. And I wish there was an FBI office close by, that might be an interesting afternoon. I love the imagination/creative thinking people have on here | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:47:58 PM | | Take martial arts, plenty of guys that learn respect. It won't always be the case but generally speaking most guys will not play games. They are taught to respect people from the beginning. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:14:50 PM | God won't help you. You have to help yourself. And be realistic.
Never mind. If after five more years you still haven't found anyone, you will see my point of view.
Ask women in their 40's what dating is like and most will tell you this. You suddenly become invisible to men.
At 35 you can still bear children, and that will make you attractive to older men. Men your age or younger will be dating women in their 20's. No woman likes to hear that, but it is the truth.
You should be looking for a man around age 56 +/- 3 years, if you want to settle down and have a family. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:18:33 PM |
And as for approaching guys, is that red or green light? Do you think a woman is too forward or desperate if she im's you or tries to talk to you? Last question: how can a woman strike up a conversation with a guy she finds attractive?
NEWS BULLETIN: GUYS LIKE IF YOU, THE FEMALE, APPROACH!!!! ALERT, ALERT, ALERT.... Please have no reservations... you will always have way less rejections than guys so don't be afraid...
If another girls read that, maybe I helped the guys out, huh? | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:19:40 PM |
wow, this is so much more difficult for a woman--after all, we take it as a compliment if a guy shows us that he likes us--guess my approach will eliminate the close-minded jerks
Not all women do. Often the less attractive a woman sees the guy the less complimented she'll feel. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:40:05 PM | just hang out on here, throw out a few winks or messages to any of the people that you find interesting, even the ones you dont think sound interesting and im talk with them.
for me i wasnt looking for much more then to meet new people to chat with and thats how i met my gf.
as far as regection goes, dont worry about it, if someone gets nasty w/ you or is just a plain a-hole, its no sweat off your back, they are the a-hole and theres nothing wrong with you @ all. honestly i had fun dating(not to be confused with whoring around) and playing around on dating sites.
theres nothing wrong with meeting new people, even if you have to be the one to say the first hello. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:03:09 PM | Zebra's response - 
Do things that interest you! Common interests /compatibility - and yes, you may want to consider younger men.  I hear the older ones turn cynical and bitter...
I like the list! | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:04:25 PM |
Are you sure some guys might not lose respect?
Yes, I'm sure.
You are worried about if things become physical too soon or something? Why would a guy lose respect for someone who is interested in engaging in conversation? Nothing wrong with that. Over 90% of guys (I would say even higher! Hint, hint...) welcome approach from the other sex.
You're not going up to the guy drunk are you? 'Excuseeeeeee moooooooooooeeeeeeeee.... Eeee wawnted toooo makuh yer akwaintunzzzzzzzzzz..'
Try the grocery store, library, retail store, mall.... anywhere you come across that isn't a drinking establishment and approach with what is going on in your environment. I know, easier said than done but have a carefree attitude and don't think of it as unnatural. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:08:17 PM |
At 35 you can still bear children, and that will make you attractive to older men. Men your age or younger will be dating women in their 20's. No woman likes to hear that, but it is the truth.
Not all men (or women for that matter) want to have kids.
Especially older men who already had children.
I know that might come as a surprise, but your perspective is YOUR perspective and it does not mean that it applies to ALL men.
Unless there was a MenSummit where you dudes all passed the resolution that having children is a must. If that was the case, please post the full text of ProcreationResolution so that we are informed.
OP, my friend just met a great guy... a vet... when she took her cat for an exam...
Maybe it's time to get an animal...
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:02:43 PM | Ayumu. You are 9 years into invisibility mode. Next comes old crone.
At 49, it is a good thing you are in a relationship. Enjoy it, it may be your last. If I were you, I'd do anything to keep the relationship working. Buy 9 pairs of kneepads and go to town.
I loved your comment, I can't wait to tell all my men friends. They will all laugh.
I have only met three men in my whole life that stayed in a long term relationship with an older woman. Almost always these men drop an older woman after using the heck out of her, for a younger one with a real chance of being fertile and making a family. Men who date older women, mostly date them purely for sex. They don't feel at all bad about dropping them the instant they find a younger women. They use older women to take the edge off their sex drive, and this makes them more attractive to younger women.
So you advise this girl to find a younger man? What horrible advice. You suggest that she be used by a guy who will eventually, and almost definately dump her. In the short term it sounds good--lots of sex, but in the long term, you will ruin her life. When he breaks things off with her to take some young babe to the Caribbean for a week long vacation, she will be older and her eggs will be that much closer to turning bad like ripe bananas.
You need to give this woman real advice, not wishful thinking that will leave her alone and childless when she gets older.
Relationships are like scales. What do you bring to the table? If you bring less than another woman, a man will chose the woman that brings him more. Men want great head, good sex, sweet disposition, classy companionship, children, and money from a woman--in that order. Offer a man financial bills and debt, four kids from three other marriages, the prospect of worse debt in the future, and being #6 on the priority list, and he won't stick around.
Negative factors for a man are things like: Someone who is a bit thick, and appears likely to get thicker, after children. Someone with lots of children already, or has a low paying job or no job. Someone with an unpleasant family. Any woman will be evaluated on what she can do for the man. The more pluses, the better the chance a man her age would consider her. Only a very rich woman would be seriously considered by a younger man.
The OP should probably date men no younger than 45, and up to about 55 if she wants to settle down and start a family in the next few years. Consider that it takes time to get to know a man well enough for him to propose marriage--figure a year. If she dates only younger men, she will need a anchor baby, and a shotgun approach--and it will more than likely fail leaving her a single mom--suddenly less interesting to men who want their own children.
So when you steer her to younger men, I know you must be joking. I read you, Ayumu, as another women, angry about the fact that women age faster than men. It is so unfair, but it is so real. A smart woman will plan accordingly. In the highly competitive market for older men, waiting until you are 35 is a bad idea. It puts a woman as a serious disadvantage. Waiting until 40 to decide to date men aged 45 and up will find you out of that market too. Those men will be looking for a younger woman or a foreign bride.
The proof is this: The OP, who seems normal enough, is having difficulty trying to meet men. Laugh off what I say. Ha ha, very funny. But if you steer her away from older men, you are doing her a disservice and increasing her odds of being an old maid. Heck, she is already an old maid. Most women marry by age 30. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:03:18 PM | It appears that I have a difference in perspective with many of the posts. When I was 35, I had quite an idea already of things that I would do for fun. To ensure that over the long haul, that you and a potential partner have mutual interests, I would emphasize activities that YOU ENJOY! My ex spouse tried to learn German when we were dating, but it wasn't a high priority on her list. Since I spoke German with the kids everyday for the first 8 years of kids, it was a bit difficult. I even quit, when at the supper table one night I asked the girls to do something, and in the next breath their mother asked them to do the exact opposite in English.
I hear your reticence about going to church to find a date, it does seem somewhat cynical. However, my church has a single's club, and there are also gym nights. I generally find that volleyball is something that equalizes the sexes a bit and allows you to interact.
But in the end, many men value interaction that speaks to their core, if you can find a venue for those activities to overlap, you will at the very least pass a few pleasant hours together. Bon Chance! | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:09:10 PM |
Supermarket! More successful than all the rest put together
Sooo true. I was going to mention in my club post that if anything, a guy I'm with should be more concerned about me meeting a guy in a supermarket then a club. (Not that I would allow it to happen) but supermarkets in singles neighborhoods are like a hotbed for guys. | |
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TLC_
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Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 43 | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:22:38 PM | Zebra,
Don't let me get rude with your ridiculous comments posted in this forum. One has to wonder why such an old man such as yourself, from another century, is on a site like this to begin with. Besides I'd rather be alone than in the company of a ultra conservative man like yourself. No woman with any self-respect would bow down to your unrealistic, medievalesque ideas regarding relationships. I may be single now, but it will be for a short time as I just got out of a long term relationship of 4 years and now that I am looking, there doesn't seem to be a short supply of single men showing some sort of interest.
Thanks to everyone else who provided some constructive and helpful ideas--I think it's working! It also helps that I have the summer off and can finally socialize again.
Zebra, you might want to open your mind to what others have to say, especially the women as I assume you're not interested in dating your male friends. By the way, the next generation of dating is here.. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:36:36 PM |
Not all men (or women for that matter) want to have kids.
No sh!t... If I had to choose between raising more kids or eating a bullet.....
.... it'd be a tough one...
Add my vote for supermarket! LOTS of window shopping going on there....
Scan their carts for feminine products first...
Hang around the produce section... stop and ... longingly.... lovingly... stroke some cucumbers or bananas...
quickly scan the crowd that forms and give the guy you want a wink... | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:40:45 PM |
Scan their carts for feminine products first...
Hang around the produce section... stop and ... longingly.... lovingly... stroke some cucumbers or bananas...
quickly scan the crowd that forms and give the guy you want a wink...
LMAO here!! Never even thought to check what was in their cart. Does seem produce is always the place to be. I tend to look for the guys that know how to feel out a peach. | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:49:20 PM | Had no idea I would get so many helpful tips from the guys--nor did I know men were so much on the lookout...at the grocery store? Time to go shopping  | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:29:22 PM |
I tend to look for the guys that know how to feel out a peach.
I started to mention something like that... can't speak for all but I usually don't grope the produce... once I start I can't stop . and then I get funny looks from the cashier when I've got peach juice all over my face...
Sophia.... silly girl.... we are ALWAYS on the lookout... even the serious ones.. | |
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42 4 U
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Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 49 | |
| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:27:01 PM | | This probably isn't the answer you where looking for, but I'll share it anyways. There is no right place to meet someone. It just happens, usually when you least expect it.You could be driving, and have an accident, and the guy that hit you turns out to be absolutely perfect for you.Or you could be visiting someone at the hospital,you could trip over an orderly's cart,and he has a great smile, and is studying to be a doctor.So don't try and plan everything.Have you heard the saying " life happens while we were making other plans"? Good luck | |
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| Where's a good place to meet a serious guy?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:10:56 AM | | How about Walgreen's? Since I believe that is where your pics were taken, OP? Or some similar pharmacy. Since you are looking for a serious guy, I recommend the bunion treatment section. I met a woman there before. | |
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