| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:08:02 PM | | Wow...i appreciate all the good advise and insight.im sorry i haven't been able to reply sooner,but im outta town all week working...i know that dosent make things better for my situation either.lol...To be specific,she didnt just make that comment in the midst of conversation...i'm sure i was just displaying my trust issuses at the moment and that was her remark.I beleive that trust has to be earned versus trust someone untill they give you a reason not to..to tell you the truth when i first met her and analyzed her character,i really didnt think she was the one to be in a relationship with.But for some reason we ended up falling for eachother..i'm now trying to focus not so much on her and instesd on how i could be improving myself...maybe i dont really love her..i just know its more than infactuation...but i'll tell you one thing..if i knew she was always a faithful person..this would be alot easier.... | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:17:16 PM | | no buddy..i'm not obsessed..i apologize if you understood that....and i'll be dammed if i let anyone get away with cheating..nor do i have any sympathy for somebody with an excuse. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:59:24 AM | Adrian, you sound like a really good guy; you would make someone happy; you deserve a lot better than this.
I hope everything works out for you. You seem like a caring and sensitive person and you will be fine. Keep ya head up. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:21:24 AM | It sounds like this woman is immature in the area of impulse control. This is manifested by following the "shiniest thing in front of her" and using excuses to explain them.
You can hear the "Oh I didn't mean to sleep with that guy, I was drunk." Or "I just had to have that $400 purse even though I can't afford it, why not? I can just be late on this bill or that bill." Or she has the "everything must be exciting all the time" thing going on.
It sounds like she is trying to grow up but she is not there yet by her own admission. It depends on how far she is along this path but you have to decide if you want to deal with her growing pains or if you just want to find someone else who is already matured.
If you really want someone who is 100% committed and readily able to keep that, it seems like she isn't the best choice at the moment but may be at a later date once she has grown up. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:53:25 PM | | Yea..i actually ended it last nite..it was very hard for me and i hope i didnt throw away a good thing...i haven't shed a tear though she couldn't stop crying..but it still hurts ya know. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:32:23 PM | | um, no such thing as a cheating addiction. it's just an excuse for people who want to cheat. if they're cheaters, they're basically concerned with only themseleves and they'll use anyone until 'the one' comes along. when the 'the one' is no longer appealing, they'll use the same old rationalizations to cheat again. steer clear, dear! | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:45:06 PM |
i hope i didnt throw away a good thing
You didn't!!!
My ex was a habitual cheater. I had a pang of "Oh dear, did I just screw up my life?" when I moved him to the final affair's house. I slept all night that night, the first time I had done that in many years. I'm sorry to say ~ habitual cheaters are just that. It's not what they do, it's part of who they are. You do deserve better. Good luck!  | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:51:09 PM |
no buddy..i'm not obsessed..i apologize if you understood that....and i'll be dammed if i let anyone get away with cheating..nor do i have any sympathy for somebody with an excuse.
Whoa, I thought I wrote that for a moment! Sounds just like me. 
I do think cheating is an addiction, and although to me that does explain it, it certainly does not excuse it. Huge difference there!
Yea..i actually ended it last nite..it was very hard for me and i hope i didnt throw away a good thing
You didn't throw away a "good thing". You solved a huge problem that wasn't going to go away, and a problem you were going to have to live with the entire time you would have been with her. Plus you would have a lifetime of mistrust with her. Everytime she would come home an hour late, or be late calling you, you would be wondering "is she doing it again"?
...i haven't shed a tear though she couldn't stop crying..but it still hurts ya know.
Sure it hurts. Sometimes doing the right thing DOES hurt, though. I had to end a relationship once that wasn't working. We had HUGE problems, and I just couldn't take it anymore, although I still loved her so, so deeply. And of course she's crying. But think of it this way- she had no problem hurting YOU by cheating, AND if she can find men to cheat with, she can find men to date. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:54:12 PM | Hey OP Do you want to laugh at something, THIS IS PATHETIC.... I was dumped by a man beacause his 2 ex wives cheated on him................SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He would rather be on almost 100 women's favorite list's and complained to me about his 2 cheating ex wives when he actually finally for the first time had an opportunity with an HONORABLE TRUSTWORTHY WOMAN. I offered him an HONEST relationship between one man and one woman not 100 favorites and 2 ex wives.
You know something..............some people are just garbage and don't deserve a good decent person!!!!!!!!!!!!Let your "G I R L F R I E N D" struggle and tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass as she leaves!  | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:57:20 PM | YO, Adrian!
Do you know what happens, Adrian, when folks distrust the trustworthy?
They begin attracting the untrustworthy.
Ain't pretty.
And for those who trust the untrustworthy?
Yeah, they begin attracting the trustworthy.
Trust me,
The Universe
Better to trust everyone, Adrian
If you can't break a few eggs, don't make an omelette.
If you're afraid of pain, pleasure will be afraid of U.
If you don't climb the mountain, when you want to & can, you'll feel sorry you didn't.
What makes your spirit & life richer? Trusting someone that disappoints you? Or not
trusting someone who might have helped define your life for the better, forever? | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:01:37 AM | | oh god i have bad trust issues as well but i try to ignore them till i have a reason to wonder...its really hard to trust anybody now but where she said shes addicted to cheating that be a good reason to be worried...but don't worry too much unless your given a reason to | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:48:11 PM | you didn't make a mistake; she has a trump card to cheat and unless you want to always have her with someone else at times, then its best to move on.
In todays world people do bad things and then find a way to blame others or a disorder, or depression, or addiction. Its a crock. Your problem is not her problem if you dont let it. If she's so addicted then she needs to get help. the answer is she's not addicted; she's just a simple cheater. Good luck. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:55:03 PM | OP, you are a shining flagship for all men everywhere. Posting on a forum about a gf that you "love"....and she "loves" you....yet on a DATING site with a profile looking for LONG TERM...and not a single word on it about having a gf, let ALONE someone you LOVE!
You are the perfect example of why I constantly maintain that anyone with two brain cells will not remotely look for "luuvv" on internet dating sites! They are fraught with men like yourself, that want to sit back in the comfort of their homes and be little attention wh*ores raking in the attention! And then you have the NERVE to come to a forum board and ask about your "cheating gf"????????????????????????????
POT
KETTLE
BLACK
What a piece of work. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:56:03 PM | Mthomjmark says: "Adrian, you sound like a really good guy; you would make someone happy; you deserve a lot better than this.
I hope everything works out for you. You seem like a caring and sensitive person and you will be fine. Keep ya head up."
Once again, Mr. Charm didn't bother to read this guys profile. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:22:40 PM |
but i have a trust/jealousy issue which i know isn't good and i really need to work on, I suggest you start working on them now.. or you will always have these types of doubts with every girl you ever meet.
To be specific,she didnt just make that comment in the midst of conversation...i'm sure i was just displaying my trust issuses at the moment and that was her remark So... she's tried to reassure you that she loves you and you reward her by:
i actually ended it last nite..it was very hard for me and i hope i didnt throw away a good thing...i haven't shed a tear though she couldn't stop crying..but it still hurts ya know
maybe i dont really love her..i just know its more than infactuation...but i'll tell you one thing..if i knew she was always a faithful person..this would be alot easier.... I guess you'll never know if it was on it's way from infatuation to real love.. however; I hope by the time you meet your next relationship prospect that you've worked on those trust issues.... If you know the next one never cheated.. what makes you so sure she won't in the future.... you have to learn somethings about yourself Op... or, this type of thing will just keep happening to you and those that love you. | |
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oshan
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Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 41 | |
| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:25:13 PM | I totally agree with 'wishes granted'. Requiring a potential partner to PROVE TO YOU that they are trustworthy speaks volumes about YOUR issues around trust. Healthy people are people who trust others until/unless they are given a reason not to. It is also true that if you FEAR that someone will cheat on you, they will. The Universe will give you what you focus on...in this case, you broke up with someone YOU feared would cheat on you, so it doesn't really matter whether she would have or wouldn't have because you will never know. I believe that people certainly can change, and do change, however, in your situation, OP, the issue is not on whether or not your g/f would or would not cheat on you in the future, the issue is all about you.
If you read the book "The Secret", you will learn that what you focus on becomes real in your life. You focus on women who are not trustworthy...people who are not trustworthy, so until you change your focus from distrust to trust, you will forever shoot yourself in the foot when it comes to love and relationships. We create our own world, and we can create it by choosing what we want in our lives and then putting our entire focus on that....positivity is so much more powerful then negativity and fear. CHOOSE what you want and then create it...attract it to you by focusing...grasshopper!! | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:04:27 AM |
Subject:
Mthomjmark says: "Adrian, you sound like a really good guy; you would make someone happy; you deserve a lot better than this.
I hope everything works out for you. You seem like a caring and sensitive person and you will be fine. Keep ya head up."
Once again, Mr. Charm didn't bother to read this guys profile.
Save it Jabber; You wouldn't know right from wrong if it bit you in the neck. i did read it; He does sound like a good guy. And he's not married to this woman. Your blind pro bias towards women is boring.
He has long term on his profile and you rip him to shreds. She screws who ever she wants and you barely mention it. Do me a favor and go watch sex and the city reruns. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:29:56 AM | You know....I am not so sure that you are in a place to be judging others, mthomjmark. You are a little messed up yourself. You stuck ME on YOUR favorite's list at least two months ago....
I emailed you asking why?
You wrote back a terse little reply about me not being interested in having children and therefore you were not interested in me....
I responded with a simple "lol"............and got a tonguelashing rant and a blocking back in response that would curl the toes of most women's rights advocates - something obviously designed as an attempt to shake my self esteem. (good luck with that! HAHAHAHAH)......Dude, I never asked you to be interested in me. I asked you WHY I WAS ON YOUR FAVORITES LIST.
So I'm thinking maybe your alliance with this obviously lying OP is due to YOU having a few isssssssssssssssssssssues yourself! If this was a WOMAN with a profile looking for long term while expressing on the forum that she had someone who "loved" her and she "loved" him and he was cheating on her, you'd have torn her apart! I've seen you do it many times.
At this rate of thinking, you won't be having children any time soon. In fact, for a man who has a picture on his profile of someone rather decent looking, you certainly have been on this site for a very long time...........shooting your mouth off...........and it seems being unlucky at love (since you are still HERE)......It's looking an awful lot to me like you just don't like women. Period.
Unkink your pants a little, and let your balls drop. Then you will be a man, my son. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 2:06:48 PM | You're the most messed up flake on here Jabberwock. talkin all that smack and you couldnt even back it up nor had it in you to even try! lol the good ol "Unread delete" game! LOL Not to mention this little twit started something she couldnt finish. Thats here style guys, she's not worth 2 dollar tuesday!
I post twice for disability reasons
"I'm goin to get the papers, get the papers" | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 2:12:56 PM | | Why dont you just come right out with it Jabbermouth. You've been either hurt intentionally or someone put you in your place and now you're rebelling? Either because you grew up with a dominating/controlling, manipulating mother and pacifist father, or you had no father at all. You might find some healing if you were more kind to strangers. Until then you need a sharp rebuke and deserve zero respect | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:44:14 PM | also, for the record
I put you on my favorites not because I liked you, but so I could "keep my enemies close" and reply to all your pathetic B U L L S H I T. People need more boldness these days to set disrespectful people like you STRAIGHT!
And to call people "attention whores" when I see you spend more time in the forums than anyone I have ever met. Reason being, obviously because you can gain the attention of more people this way, not to mention you love to hear yourself talk and feel like that degree is helping you educate others in here! lol What a flake.
Expose the snakes and vipers
"the weed be lettin you know, evil lurks"
(no I dont smoke, I dont need to to see through this witches manipulation) | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:48:12 PM | "Do me a favor and go watch sex and the city reruns."
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! To funny! I second everything you said but all you really had to say was the above quote and we all would have saluted a real bro!
Jabbermouth, This is adult time, no time to play with children, run along now ya hear! | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:31:06 PM | | You know it's only a matter of time before she cheats again she has already crossed that line in her mind as being ok.....I wouldn't trust her that much personally.....go out....date....but don't be surprise down the road if she cheats on you also........and like someone else said ^^^^^^ how do you find yourself on a dating website??? hmmm looks like you are looking to for someone else also??? You have yourself listed as.....Single!!! hmmmmm interesting :) | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:55:26 PM |
OP, you are a shining flagship for all men everywhere. Posting on a forum about a gf that you "love"....and she "loves" you....yet on a DATING site with a profile looking for LONG TERM...and not a single word on it about having a gf, let ALONE someone you LOVE!
You are the perfect example of why I constantly maintain that anyone with two brain cells will not remotely look for "luuvv" on internet dating sites! They are fraught with men like yourself, that want to sit back in the comfort of their homes and be little attention wh*ores raking in the attention! And then you have the NERVE to come to a forum board and ask about your "cheating gf"????????????????????????????
POT
KETTLE
BLACK
What a piece of work.
I would agree, EXCEPT the OP posted 2 days before you, saying that he broke it off.
Also, I can't say if cheating addiction or sex addiction is a real thing, I know, for myself, it's a very handy label that signifies "crappy girlfriend" regardless of the universal forces at work. | |
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| cheating addiction???
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:05:01 PM | | Does she have a ring on her finger for an engagement? Have you made it clear of your intentions... or is she just a F44U44C44K buddy, AND she feels you do not respect her, so she goes out and cheats, looking for love somewhere else.... only not to find it, because she is clueless. | |
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