| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:42:52 PM |
What happened to imperical proof instead of speculation ?
Whatever happened to the correct spelling of empirical?
I understand why you, as a legal studies student, feel that I should be and think like a lawyer 24/7 in every single waking circumstance including on some silly personals forum. Most students feel this during school and for a period thereafter. You eventually grow out of it. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:14:08 PM | ~OP~
Where are you? You are so quiet. Please, ignore unpleasant remarks and unjustified rude remarks coming, this is public forum, and there are people and 'people', but some of us are trying to help you out.
Few posters keep asking "What was the fight about" as if this would determine or justify the disappearance. When you wrote:
then we had a fight, actually, he had the fight, I just listened, he walked out of my house, came and got his things the next day, including my ring, and he was gone.
I don't know the history of your love affair with this man, but by the sound of your story, there was probably similar behaviour coming from this man: when suddenly things shift, and there is attack coming your way, nothing you have done, but things get out of control. I could be wrong, but I suspect there was a cycle of violence appearing in your relationship. I say that, because of those words you chose....things are good - you said 'yes, yes, yes'.... and then we had a fight, or rather he had a fight...you were a silent watcher.
If I am right in my suspicion, you have no idea what favour he has given you by simply disappearing. I believe there are things you have overlooked while in that relationship. One year is long enough to get to know your partner, and if he was sincere all the way throughout the year, the last behaviour was rather inconsistent...you are not telling us something.
I believe you when you said:
I met someone on line and we dated for a year, he was honest, caring, giving, funny, a wonderful partner
... but there is something else between the lines you are not saying, perhaps you are not ready to face it.
Abusers are master manipulators, and can appear super/duper nice .... I only suspect your partner had a mind of abuser by the sound of switching from one emotion to the next | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:52:56 PM | Tattooed, thanks for correcting my spelling... Have a 101 fever today, and my brain is on a very slow operation level... HOWEVER that isn't the point. The point is that these forums aren't productive when people go off topic, and then blame the OP for something there is no proof of.
I doubt I will grow out of the skills I've learned in critical thinking, and will always consider the evidence that is presented needs to be sufficient enough to make a statement that is more than a speculation, and not a factual conclusion.
I also feel as I did when I worked in the medical field, that I represent the field 24/7, and don't consider the people that write these forums as silly; people come here with some serious inquires, and I like to give them due respect.
Thanks once again for correcting my spelling, I hate misspelling words, I'll be so thankful with the antibiotics kick in.... | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:39:33 PM | Eagle the BIG JERK! Yes you are...why did you call OP a jerk? She was not asking to be called names...no wonder you are single and you will remain so, with or without your fortune.
Sorry OP about what happened...hang in there and remember there are many in the sea. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:22:52 PM | If you can't tell us what the fight is about nobody should be judging the guy. We have no clue what the fight is about. Obviously it's just a woman trying to make someone look bad so she will feel better. There is something that the OP is not telling us. It had to be a serious fight. No man will just walk away like that unless it was very serious. Anyways better to happen recently then after the marriage.
now on to more important things.. i sprained my ankle last week, and i can't really bend it all that well. it kinda sucks. crutches are the worst.
wowsad you don't have to be on crutches if your bones are not broken. Find a sport clinic sometimes they will do somethings for free. What someone needs to do is draw out the fluid from your sprain. An accupucturist might do it if he has the right equipment. I know this because I knew a guy sprained his ankle and he walked into a university sports clinic to get the fluid drawn out. He could walk, run or whatever the next day. I do have to warn you if it's a large enough sprain it will be painful. The large the fluid sack of the sprain the more painful it will be. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:59:57 AM | You have been on this site since Dec. of 2006. And you say you met a guy and had plans to marry and you broke up 3 months ago?
Did you ever think that maybe the reason he broke up was because you still have an account on a dating site? | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:14:38 AM | Hi Patty:
Life does go on after jerks use us, so pick up yourself dust yourself off, and lift your head up high and forget the jerk, obviously you are lucky this didn't happen after you were married, then you would have the expense of a divorce. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:22:15 AM | | Sounds like there were more than two of you in that relationship - he couldn't handle lying anymore so he created the one sided argument (they are funny, laughable) and wondered off, but what was he doing taking the ring Grrrrrrrrrr, that was yours he gave it as a gift and legally it belongs to the woman (unless it is a family heirloom). | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:29:58 AM |
I keep asking myself, how could someone who loved you, adored you, wanted to spend the rest of their life with you, just disappear?
Someone who loves you and adores you doesn't. And if someone is that immature emotionally, they don't know what means in the first place.
Don't loose yourself over this....learn and grow...you have just been given an insight you did not have before that will help you discern next time..and there will be a "next time". | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:20:46 PM | Fighting all the time is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship, but I think this fight revealed the truth. The truth was this was magical only in your mind. This was about more than one fight and I think he had someone on the side or something else going on.
The divorce rate is 51% in the U.S. and the break up rate of those that live together is over 90% in a newsweek article last year so again, you have to be careful. I think its insane to move in with someone especially an internet contact.
Move on and to be honest its better to have this happen then to fight all the time which is a terrible sign. again, move on and good luck. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:19:37 PM | I think its either you really piss him off for some reason you dont want to say, or
he is a very selfish person and doesnt really love you as you thought.
I always tend to give a clear reason why breaking up. but some people are not like that. you can't force them to, and just learn to accept that something you can never figure out why.
break up sucks, but an unclear break up suck 100times more. you have my sympathy. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:26:57 AM | Yes he probaly was cheating but I was in a 11 year relationship and was faithful but he was a drunk and that took it's toll on me so as it got worse and worse I made the decision to "disappear"and never see or hear from him again .So one morning thats what happened I just left and it's been 3 months and the idiot is still wondering where I am and I really didn't go far and if he looked hard enough I am right under his nose!I am just saing sometimes people in relationships don't leave for cheating but because they are just not happy! | |
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msmb50
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Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 88 | |
| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:23:12 AM | | Sorry, but it will pass just be lucky he did it before the wedding, there are better guys out there, don't be like me finially getting divorced after 25 not good years. yeah i'm free!!!! | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:03:28 PM | | Sorry to hear what happened. It's hard to know why he left if we don't know what the fight was about. It does sound as if he picked it or if it was the last straw somehow. One thing that really struck me though was that he took the ring. What did he do that for? If he was upset by a fight, you'd think the ring would be the last thing on his mind. If he had any compassion at all, you'd think he'd leave the ring, after all he'd just hurt you enough by leaving. As you say you were dating, I'm assuming you weren't living together. How much do you know about the rest of his life? Could there have been someone else? It doesn't sound to me as if he felt deeply enough for you; someone who did couldn't have done what he did. It sounds very cold. Either he wanted to hurt you a lot (because he has an anger problem, is weird or because you'd hurt him a lot) or he was calculating and planning to sell or use the ring again. Neither seem very good. I'm sure there must have been signs of volatile behaviour beforehand, if not directed towards you then towards someone else. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:35:28 PM | | Why do people dig up extemely old posts and start posting on them. This is a yeat old. | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:06:39 PM | his actions spoke louder than all the sweet words he sold you on.
His actions are screaming and I agree with the below quote that he picked the
fight with you to get out. Yeah I know its shitty.
Just my opion...he started a fight with you...for only one reason...hes seeing some one else....and he probley thought instead of telling you he would start a fight get his things and leave.....its called the easy way out
Some guys and girls are children. They have no way of getting out of
things because mommy isnt around anymore and they pick up thier
toys and leave with you standing there with the rug yanked from under
you - you know what, you want to deal with this? I imagine not so I think
you should just let it be.
Relationships should not be about fighting all the time. Signs are there-
we are just so happy that we let things go. Its a wake up call for you to
never settle for anything less than what you want.
Good luck. | |
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LSP39
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Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 92 | |
| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:43:12 PM | | Your future stopped overnight? That is alot of control to give anyone person. We are all respondsible for our own future do not hand that over to anyone. The emotions you feel today(anger, bitterness, despair, hatred, saddness)will pass with time and healing. Surround yourself with your supporters and do the things that make you smile. Someday you will look back at this and know he did you a favor. Look at this as your future has just begun and eventually it will become your reality. Good Luck | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:58:33 PM | It's sad that you're hurting. Obviously he was not ready for a committment and was looking for the first excuse. to bail. Maybe he found someone else....it's an Internet Illness. Beware of the men who will tell you EVERYTHING you want to hear, only to get what they want. They are the worst of Predators because they don't care if they break your heart. Wipe your tears and MOVE ON! He isn't worth it!
You will love again and someone will love you back ! | |
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| My future stopped overnight!
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:26:39 PM | I agree, even though it feels as the your world is over it is only over if u let it be. I recently have had a simular experience. My fiancee and i had a normal spat and he left. He now says "I told you, if we fought again I was leaving" I wasnt aware we fought all that much or that there was a set number of tifs before we were over.
And even though at first it felt like my heart would fall out, it hasnt. And now im glad he left cuz the loser was cheating on me with a much younger woman. So please greive, mourn and then pick your self up by the boot straps and move on. I'm betting he too had some secrets. Good luck sweetie | |
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