| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:08:36 PM |
I find that many men are more than willing to talk about how great they are, or how great they could be... I've yet to find a man that's outright willing to have a good time without all the bells and whistles of ownership... That's not to say they don't exist.. I just haven't found them.. If you can't discuss and partake of what you want..you aren't with the right man... pretty simple really...
In my experience those men who brag about how good they are in bed and boast about how many women in HIS past have gotten off -- I sit there laughing hard because I know that it's gotta be BS. I have met a few men who talked the talk but when the push came to the shove to walk the walk........... they BOMBED, TANKED and SUCKED!
While I am open for discussing or talking about sex in general...... the old standard likes vs dislike and all that jazz. I gotta tell you though it DOES get old when the dude acts like a freakin *horndog* and ask you to that first person guided tour down the memory lane to your past sexual *memoirs*. It works both ways, I know this much. That for me will have me screaming NEXT.
As for women who are more open about communicating about sex than men..... it's probably because she's trying to analyze and figure out if the person is going to be able to give her everything she wants/needs in the bedroom so she can determine whether to keep you as a potential or chuck you back into the pond.  | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:23:11 PM |
I am very open with my partner (when I had one) about likes and dislikes, fantasies, etc, but I have found alot lately that most guys clam up about it! To me, life is all about exploration. I sure hope ALL men aren't like that.
with me, and the friends I've discussed with, my opinion is that men will do just about anything when it comes down to sex. We'll try it all at least once...... there is extremely little we will not do. I find with women, there is ALWAYS some limitation, some sort of requirement for THAT particular fantasy to happen. I find that with women, you can't just fantisize and keep talking, even if its just rubbish, just brainstorming...... but with women, no, it has to make sense, somehow be plausible, realistic, it has to be a logical fantasy.
so yes, personally, I do find it easier to clam up, rather tan have to anser 600 hundred questions about bizarre fantasies
thats my answer..... cheers | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:40:46 PM | It depends, OP, on what the question is and when you are asking it. For example, if you ask me if your teeth are getting in the way during oral sex while I'm changing the oil in my truck, I'll probably blow you off (pardon the pun).
73's
Steve :) | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:16:12 PM | | I wasn't trying to further your cause... I was simply saying..even though many men like to brag, they're sadly boring... they really don't have anything to add to the equation... Maybe they're worried ? I dunno.... | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:13:43 PM | I've had this happen with some men initially in a relationship. They want to hear all about what I love sexually yet they seem hesitant to mention their own desires/needs.
I usually find that in time, with trust and as the relationship progresses and they know I won't freak out or anything if they suggest something or tell me what they fantasize about, they open up. Just takes more time with some men.
I think women at this point tend to be more open because we have been hearing for a long time now how important it is for us to communicate what we sexually need for pleasure because some men don't really know or understand.
There's still also so many screwed up double standards when it comes to sex that maybe we've made men afraid to openly discuss sex to a degree out of fear that it will be thought that is all they care about. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:03:28 PM | They arent Jessie.
But women are! their sexua hang ups dominate their lives so totaly that they put a hostile sexual slant even on the most minor compliment.
eg A woman has had a new hair color. The guys reaction "Nice tips" the female selectivley hears that as "nice tiits" and she turns nasty.
eg She's dressed in short skirt, plunging neckline and thigh highs. He says "Like the boots" she hears "like the boobbs" and once again turns nasy.
You hear the women moaing about guys who only think of sex, all over theese ere boards. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:06:33 PM | In my experience those men who brag about how good they are in bed and boast about how many women in HIS past have gotten off -- I sit there laughing hard because I know that it's gotta be BS.
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I have some news for you m dear. It probably NOT bs at al.
When me and da boize get together and the topic of conversation drifs roudn to the number of sexual partners we've had most of the guys average from five to ten and, any girl around average from ten to twenty.
The math just doesn't add up till one or perhaps wo guys come up with a figure in the hundreds. these are the guys who brag to you. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:54:49 PM |
I am very open with my partner (when I had one) about likes and dislikes, fantasies, etc, but I have found alot lately that most guys clam up about it!
Perhaps it's because most women's fantasies are rather tame (dare I say, "cute"). Most men's fantasies are something that would kill most women who are merely in the same state as someone uttering them.
All kidding aside, women seem to have a much thinner skin than they believe. No sane man will freely discuss his inner-most sexual fantasies without knowing in advance how a woman will react. And since women change on a whim, no sane man will discuss his inner-most sexual fantasies. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:01:04 PM | I think also there's been a lot of conditioning in recent years that sex is all about pleasing the woman, getting her to orgasm. Like a good lover is in bed to make her happy...his needs are not as important.
I disagree with this premise, but I do think it is a common belief.
therefore, the woman is encouraged to communicate what she wants but he feels like if he does he's being "selfish".
Also I agree that women are just plain better communicators, as a gender (not all women, not all men). We want to talk all the time about our feelings, the guys don't. We want to talk about our desires and fantasies, they just want to plain have sex and enjoy it.
Again, not all men, not all women. but overall...I do think it's true.
Kaylie | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:36:41 PM | Because we have the internet. We know how the ratios actually work out.
Women are far pickier than men. Most guys draw their line waaaaay farther out than women draw theirs. So a guy is far more likely to have a strange kink a woman won't accept than vice versa.
Knowing that if a guy has a fantasy that hasn't been fulfilled, and he has lived with it, then why would he risk ruining a potentially good relationship with the mention of it?
Yes, when you have been together for a while and have gotten very close, close enough for him to know you won't leave him for it, he will mention it. But not at the beginning stages of a relationship. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:12:10 AM | | Guess you have been talking to the wrong men, Jessie, I will happily talk sex and perform for any female it is not a secret and as adults we all enjoy. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:38:19 AM |
I am very open with my partner (when I had one) about likes and dislikes, fantasies, etc, but I have found alot lately that most guys clam up about it! To me, life is all about exploration. I sure hope ALL men aren't like that.
You must have slept with a lot of different guys to come to that conclusion.
ZING!!! | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:53:50 AM | im not really afraid of talking about things i might like to try to my girl, but i think one reason for some guys being like that is because society has taught girls to be more open about that kinda stuff, and guys kinda got the short end of the stick with being open to expressing themselves with anything that might feel good to us. e.i. we cant express feelings and stuff, because everyone has taught us, it would make u weak, and any secrete fantasy other than the norm(3 somes, etc.) might have people look at u different, like a creep/wierdo/homo.
but most of us would pay to see a chick engage in any of those things.. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:20:25 PM | Men know they are criticised and condemned for what they think when it does not agree with what women believe they should say and think. Male to Male communication over things like politics, religion, justice, etc usually ends up going badly the same way. So we learn that most most times its better to clam up and not open your mouth, especially when you are in a hostile environment or trying to navigate the minefield that is modern relationships. As the other poster mention it is a no win situation.
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:43:20 PM | | I have no experience with men, not do I want any, so I can't really speak for anybody but me. I have a little more experience with women though. And I can think of only one past girlfriend that was truly open in expressing her wants, wishes, and fantasies with no holding back. So in turn, I felt comfortable being just as open with her. Other girlfriends (and my X wife) just expected me to know what they wanted and when. Some more than others but mostly I had to just read their minds, sometimes wrongly, and I'd hear about that. As a result, I wasn't open either. Like having to walk on eggshells, knowing women are a little funny about the least little thing I say wrong which will be a major league turn off and that would be the end of that. So if men keep their mouths shut, I'm thinkin' that probably has something to do with it. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:13:41 PM | | I've generally been pretty open about sex, but it's pretty scary to reveal your innermost fantasies to someone. I know my privacy hasn't always been respected by those I've shared with. Eventually you move on, you meet someone new, build up trust and try again. Everyone has some deep fantasy they're afraid to say out loud, and I think it's the most intimate experience you can have to share it with someone without judgment. Never know though, you might be thinking they want to have sex in a public park at night and instead they ask have you seen "2girls1cup"? :O | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:18:22 PM | OP: I have never heard of too many men "claming" up on sharing their desires, fantasies and what makes them "tick" when it comes to sex. lol
Maybe it's the men you've been meeting? | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:16:51 PM | I think it is cause if he tells you something you wont be willing to do...then he realizes he might freak you out and risk losing you all together.
IE...a woman might want to make love in the rain, or be tied up...a man might want a night with ALL the Dallas cheerleaders. You are probably talking about fantasies that are DOABLE...to a man they arent really fantasies...cause they are DOABLE..to them a fantasy is something they might never really get to do and if they tell you they want to be blindfolded and then gang banged by a group of 70 year old biker chicks you might think they are to wacked out. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:05:53 AM | | your finding the odd man...i find that more women tend to clam it up about sex and their likes and dislikes, their willingness to experiament..toys and the like..but i truely feel the ladies just keep it bottled up, but they are open, the men who say they are not intoerested are truely not..hmmm | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:10:33 AM | No, not all men are like that but many are. Most men were taught that just putting the penis in and having a penis is enough. Parents basically teach us that sex is bad and we are only taught the basics. So most of us are afraid to ask anything more.
And yes, alot of it comes from women telling men they are "pigs". Men are more sexually motivated than women are. Simple. Women need to stop berating men about the sex thing and men need to stop berating women about, for lack of a better example, shopping. This will NOT change. Frankly, I would be worried if my man didn't talk about sex!
Think back to when you were young, it was thought that men should know everything about sex. Women were not supposed to be sexual, it was wrong. The media to this day still allows this crap to go on. So men do not do any research or ask questions because people make fun of them. I can cite a million examples on POF alone of others making fun of someone asking a question. The most recent? A guy asking if he can penetrate the cervix. He didn't know so he is asking but people are slamming him. Wrong wrong wrong. If you want your men to take a more active role in sex - don't slam them for asking questions!!!
So men say they are great in bed because it is part of their prowess and being less than that might seem inferior. This is a bad concept, and leads to even less learning.
Many couples when they seek to improve their sex life: woman goes out and buys lingerie or whatnot. That needs to change - both man and woman should be shopping together. It is both their responsibility to have a good sex life.
Then of course there are those that just think they have a big penis to match their ego, and well those people I'm not even discussing because I don't feel that those are the people we are discussing here. I truly don't believe all men are like that.
People need to listen, talk and admit they can learn more. Only through discussion, asking questions and being open can one truly learn.
The first thing I tell a woman once we get that far is if there is any biting that does harm, you will see my a$$ walking away.
Sorry to pick on you bowlerman, but this is exactly the type of comment that the OP is talking about. It is extremely defensive and doesn't even allow for discussion. I like discussing with my partner our likes and dislikes and this would make me walk away and not want to discuss anything at all. Why is "I really don't like pain, so deep biting is off my list" so hard to say? This is like threatening to leave. Not good for communication.
Sex therapists offer a really good way to being dialogue about likes and dislikes. Fill out a checklist and sit down and compare. Some people need to learn to discuss sex "out of the bedroom" in a mature manner.
Nothing more attractive to a sexually open woman than a sexually open man. As for women not being able to "handle" a man's fantasies? Why shouldn't she? As mature individuals you should both realize that not all your fantasies will come true. If she has done any research into men and their fantasies, she should be able to handle and respect it, much as her man should be able to handle and respect her fantasies. Hell, if women know that men are such pigs, why should it be a surprise?!
All that said, I also believe it comes down to the right combination of two people. Some people were just not meant to be together. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:20:17 AM | I have to agree with some of the other posters and say that MOST men are very open sexually, more so then women. I haven't been with a woman, I'm only stating this from listening to what things my friends and other women in my life have to say when it comes to men.
Men have no issues with telling a woman exactly what they want, what turns them on, what turns them off..
OP I think you have just been extremely unlucky... or approaching the men wrong.. or something really really weird. | |
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| Why are women more open than men?? about SEX
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:41:06 PM | Discussing likes/dislikes isn't an issue. Fantasies COULD be. I'm not a fantasy-oriented kind of person.
At least, not YET!
Any OTHER stuff that we should be open about? | |
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