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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:35:37 AM |
Thanks 2Sir. It's been a hard time but I guess it always is. I'm just worried about my mum now who is really a mess. God love her,wish I lived closer now.
Always remember, your mum is only a phone call away. To hear your voice and you hers, will bring her comfort in this difficult time.
May God bless you both. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:45:12 AM |
Avocado.... I'm one of the ones you speak of that is grieving for a recently lost parent. Personally I'd rather hear light banter than pompous growls so lighten up and stop speaking for others. your post was after mine I wasn't referring to it at all.
I'm not speaking for you or anyone else. I was talking about respect, seems you missed that part. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:49:39 AM | I refused my Dads money, his wife (step mom) took care of him and she deserves it more than anyone..
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In cases like this when a step parent has truly been with the parent and looked after the parent most good children would do just what you did.
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:51:10 AM | I agree with the OP it's the things that hold memories like old photos that count, not money.
I've only got a few photos of my oldest sister... which is sad.
I got my other sisters guitar which is pretty special, pity I can barely play it.
When my brother died I got his record collection...mostly Black Sabbath and ACDC but still good to listen to and remember him with.
As for my parents money and house, I'm getting it all, but I'd sooner they used it to hang around as long as they can. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:53:21 AM | | My mother passed away last year, while she was sick in hospital, her boyfriend sold most of the family heirlooms. While I inherited some money, those other things can never be replaced & are lost forever. The barstool took just about everything of value. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:55:16 AM | Goddess of dreams message 28... what's the joke?
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Edited your post G of D
What was the "stuffed avocado" meant to mean? | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:59:07 AM |
I refused my Dads money, his wife (step mom) took care of him and she deserves it more than anyone..
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In cases like this when a step parent has truly been with the parent and looked after the parent most good children would do just what you did.
I completely agree with this. It just goes to show there are still honorable people around. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 5:59:40 AM | I have a will and I update it, just as I do with insurance, because each year I'm fortunate to have a little bit more than the last. My sons' father is good to them and does the same.
When the boys were younger it was very important to have a will so my family was very clear on who the boys were to live with, what I expected for them and also some provision for my sister who was to be their carer. I was very specific on the minutest of details which makes it easier for my family. | |
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Posted: 6/30/2008 2:13:23 AM | Our family aren't over-imbued with the readies, but I consider myself to be doing nicely.
Mum had a wind fall a few years ago & was hell-bent on giving me some of it. My reaction was that I'm working (she's not) & that I'll soon make that amount up. I told her it would mean far more to me in the long run if she were to enjoy herself & buy/do some things she wanted. She did & we're both happy.
Bottom line to me is that you earn it, you spend it. If you have someone near to you that you care about & could help, do it. But I don't feel compelled to be a scrooge so that another could benefit after my death. Heck, had a mate who blew his Dad's 1/2 million in two years & now has nothing...what a waste! | |
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Posted: 6/30/2008 2:22:59 AM | I couldn't care less what my parents do with thier money .It's thiers so what ever they want .I would like a few personal things I suppose but ,things aren't that important to me .I have memories and you can't put a price on them .. | |
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Posted: 6/30/2008 2:25:31 AM | Personally I hope my folks spend the lot....and Mum is trying very hard to do just that!
I cant understand why anyone would want an inheritance if it meant their parents going without in their later years. But I know that this does happen and it kind of blows me away! | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 11:18:52 AM |
the government taking 2/3rds if she died intestate
Think that might be wrong. A whole lot wrong actually. Bl00dy well hope it is or I'm in deep sheet, I kid you not. For all them that's interested look up ' in intestacy'. No, it's not testicular anything, including testismonials.
Rotten kids. Been giving it to them for years. Getting so bad I'm reduced to eating the dog's Chum, interspaced with an occasional treasured find of fresh road kill.
When mum died quite a few years ago she left us four kids her paid for house and a few grand in the bank divided equally. Nice thing about the story is that one of us was a single parent with two kids and not much else. Phones the other two siblings up and asks them what they wanted to do. We all agreed with a very easy consensus to give it all to the least fortunate of us all.
It felt nice to be a 'goody two shoe' at the time. Our circumstances made it was easy for us to do. Me thinks sometimes for some people, it's not that easy or clear cut. None the less it's good to read the general response to this thread. P'raps there's hope for us yet, the 'unbuck' driven. | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 2:37:25 PM | | Baby Boomers will spend every last cent before they drop off the twig. Talk about the me generation...Baby Boomers wrote the manual. | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 5:23:08 PM | I had a recent experience where someone I know well..., who is wealthy, elderly and unwell...,
....., was going to leave a large amount of their wealth to..., "this pushy and oportunistic pentacostal type church" !!
The wealthy person had changed their will from benefitting their children..., after the continued badgering of the pastor and several elders of that particular "church".
I may have been out of line but I deliberately intervened and created a situation where that wealthy person changed their will back..., to leave the inheritance to the three children...., as originally intended.
Previous to all this...., the pastor and church elders was really friendly and sort of 'sucky' towards me.
They all knew I was well liked and close to this elderly person.
After the re-instating of the original will...., I was getting these anonymous phone callers who would say I was going to burn in damnation etc etc.
I got the calls traced for a month and put the 'mockers on their efforts' to say the least.
Fair is fair.  | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 6:08:49 PM | I wrote my will up last year and have divided it all equally between my 3 daughters. I don't own/buying my own home and have not been working long enough to have enough superannuation to 'retire' within the near future. However, on paper I am quite financially okay, just cannot retire. So if I retire from the Planet they will do quite well.
So, whilst I am working I have chosen to travel overseas go on cruises etc., so that I can have some enjoyment before I leave the Planet. I was a Baby Boomer who heard 'spend, spend, spend and not save, save,save'. Bummer now.
And to those who have recently lost a loved one my thoughts are with you. | |
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Posted: 7/7/2008 12:27:48 AM | I have already pre-warned my kids as soon as they leave home and I retire I am selling the house and going to SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!
Can't take it with you and nobody knows what lies in store for us tomorrow, next week??
Can't go skiing down the Austrian Alps with a zimmer frame so I am going to do it NOW while I can. | |
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Posted: 7/7/2008 3:11:57 AM | It's so sad when a loved one passes and people fight over the inheritance etc, death truly can bring out the worst in some people. I've heard of court cases ensuing to contest a will. It's just revolting, the deceased had their wishes set out in their will, and they should be adhered to out of respect for them!
I would much rather my parents spend their money and enjoy their lives rather than worry about leaving me and my brother their money etc. Actually the mere thought of all this stuff makes me feel sick as of course the thought of losing my parents devastates me. My sincere condolences to those who have lost their parents.
In todays world, there are sooo many broken families, therefore step parents, step kids etc etc, so things get terribly complicated!! I remember when my parents split up and my Dad moved in with his girlfriend (the woman he cheated on my Mum with) and my Mum sat him down and told him she hoped he wouldn't let her get hold of his money and that it should be mine and my brothers. I can understand why she did that, and my Dad agreed. In the long run, this b*tch showed her true colours and indeed turned out to be a "gold digger" when they eventually broke up, wanting a settlement of a million dollars (!!) which she didn't get.
Ahh money can make things ugly can't it. | |
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Posted: 7/7/2008 9:09:42 AM | wend my father died he was 42 (i was 9) and i had to watch the bank take our farm, we lost everything to them. so i dided care if i got anything at all, i just wanted my father back home.
now my mother is dieing from heart failure and has gotten over two heart attacks.
i am doing my best in that these last few years are as easy for her as i can make it.
i am not a well to do person and i will never make it big with wealth either, unless lotto helps with a win (lol).
but the time i have helping her is more then any winning can give me.
it shoulded never be over who gets the house or what, it should be over the time you two spent together and the laughts you had.
also.
why wait untill the day your gone as well, give away some things now before the day comes along. this way you get to hear how much they love you for giving them a part of you. | |
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Posted: 7/7/2008 5:03:54 PM | My mother made her will and got myself and sibling together and said.....,
"Look..., this is what my will is.....," (and she read it out etc)....., this is what you get.
So if you have any objections speak now before I sign off on this...., or forever hold your peace..., etc, etc.
......, start making plans now as to what you will do with these assets because knowledge is power etc, etc.
...., OK...., Deal with it !"
Of course we want our mother around as long as possible...., and it was hard (in one sense)...,
to hear my mother making plans for her own 'end of days'...., but this is the way she has always gone about difficult things.
....., as in looking the hard issues straight in the eye and just 'dealing with them' !  | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 6:12:36 AM | When my brother died the family split his money. I received a sizeable inheritance from him but 10 years on I would give up everything to have him back with us.
I made a will shortly after his death as my first child was already born and I wanted to make sure that everything was in order for him and any other siblings that came along.
As my parents age and they enter their twilight years I know that their wills are detailed and fair to all their children. We were all given a copy but I cant read it, dont wish to tempt fate.
Mum said to me one day "what are you going to do with your share?". I said, "save it, i'm not going to become the black sheep of the family and blow it". She told me enjoy it while i could. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 6:58:18 AM | i hate talking to people about thier inheritence... feels kind of disrespectful "I call dibs on his stuff!"
Had my grandparents ask me what i wanted from them when they past away because they were working out thier wills, i told them i didnt want anything from them because they were gunna be using there stuff for a long long time still. Soon after, my grandmother passed away, and then about 2 years later, my grandfather passed.
To make sure i couldnt give it back to either of them, they waited till both of them had passed away befor i got what they wanted me to have, they were sneaky like that...
I realy liked your oppinion on your father using every sent he has earned to enjoy the life hes worked so hard to achieve ^_^ | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 7:11:28 AM |
Baby Boomers will spend every last cent before they drop off the twig. Talk about the me generation...Baby Boomers wrote the manual.
Oi . . go easy young fella.
But there's likely some truth in that. When we started our working lives there was no such thing as compulsory superannuation and the Government was supposedly providing at least some semblance of a pension in return for all those years paying income tax. It seems they relaxed their thinking on that at some point and some Baby Boomers may well do it a bit hard, I expect.
I've already told my kids not to expect anything and that if I time it right, I'll spend my last dollar on the day I snuff it.
Truth is though, that it'll just be split three ways. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 3:20:17 PM | I recieved a inheirentance four times in the last 4 yrs. Each time I wish I could have my father in law my nana and dad back and my sister, Id swap the money , assests shares and crap in a heart beat.
My mum has a clearly said for many years what is in her will there is no surprises. My step dad and mum are really open about it.
Sorry to all in this thread who have lost someone.
I have to say I have a friend whose partner died, they recieved a large payout life insurance etc , they now live fairly well off lifestyle. It saddens me at times as they often use the tragedy of thier partners battle with cancer to get sympathy, to prove they know hard times etc, and look down on others who have less than them. Its kind of ironic the price that was paid for thier comfortable life, the condolences they still solicit and how easy it is for her to use her husbands sad horrible death to find victory in sympathy votes within our circle of friends.
I wonder if he would smile with warmth down on her or roll his eyes at her still shallow nature. Or think to himself ....God I did create a monster | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 3:54:03 PM | when my (step)father passe away all i could think about was what will be gone by the time i get home?
as suspected anything of value was gone others had just started walking in and pilfuring everything. these low lifes had gone through and taken his will , removed pages from his lodger (numbered pages) and taken items that could never be replaced.
i stood to gain nothing from the will and this didn't bother me. what bothered me was the deceat and under handed behavour of some when we loose someone close to us.
the hardest thing for me was i was out of mobile comunication when this happened and family had to tell former partner before i found out and she had the most horrible task of tracking me down and informing me that the person behind my insperation was gone.
in his will i was left all his pink floyd , santana and blues records (some worth alot) and he had a folder of photos put aside for me.
all this stuff went missing and the only thing i wanted was the folder of photos. i was left a share of his house and some other items with i just signed over to sister and her children as i have no use for it.
oh what i would give to be able to spend just a few days with him and tell him things i should have said when he was still around. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 6:27:07 PM | My Dad has already told me he's leaving me nothing - he says he's worked it out so all the grandkids get it. Which is lucky, cos I'll have spent all of mine by then.
To be quite honest, my mum and dad's money is a pain. It has been held over me for so long it makes me wanna puke. My Dad is more about money than openly showing you love your family. It's awful, and sad. | |
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