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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:11:13 PM |
Soorare,
Dulcinea would be proud. Thank you.
My honor, such as it is; all tattered and torn, and not worth much anymore, does not deserve such chivalry.
Did I miss something? Where did this come from and what does it have to do with a profile review? | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:36:55 PM | Winsome,
I'm sorry. The unique circumstances that led to my even being reviewed here are such that it appears the moderators are reading this thread a lot.
I am responding to a post that was deleted while I had dinner. There was another response to that post that was also deleted. Both referred to the Off Topic thread on Reviewing.
Soorare quoted Buddha, three of my favorite things; a quote, and Buddha, and very preachy, so of course I liked it! LOL
My statement about my honor is referring to the fact that I truly feel I have not a lot of honor left in the classical sense (I'm going on 50 years old and I am divorced!) --Not that my self-esteem is shattered by anything going on in my very nice profile review here.
Thank you for noticing, and I suppose my post will be deleted, too, since now it is way off-topic. But, since I just came from Off-Topic, I guess that's to be expected around here. Its hard to keep things straight.
"My, people come and go so quickly around here."
--Dorothy, Wizard of OZ
(OK, that was annoying. But I just couldn't resist. Sorry.) | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:47:28 PM | It has finally come to me! After reviewing your profile and reading your posts, I think what I am reminded of is something out of "Alice in Wonderland" or "The Jabberwocky" (not sure I got that spelling, but I am sure you know what I mean!)
There is my idea hint for your headline. You even look like Alice. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:08:16 AM | Winsome,
I am so glad you got the reference to "Charlie" in my profile. You are the only one so far. It comes from having a UTube fanatic for a son.
My old "dating" profile was entirely based on The Wizard Of OZ movie. I got a lot of responses from it. I still have it somewhere, if I can find it. (Rummaging around in digital files.) I think it was because it was something everyone is familiar with and could relate to and talk about. I am, as you have noticed, a little "different."
So I have often felt, throughout my life, that I was in "Wonderland" particularly when I was younger. Everything seemed upside down. Then after "treatment" I learned that I was upside down!
Well, now I have chosen to see the world more as the land of OZ. The magical theme takes the edge off of some very hard realities in my life. But I am not deluded into thinking that the world (or me) is up in the clouds somewhere.
In my world, I am not Dorothy anymore, really. I am more like the Jabberwocky, or the Cheshire Cat. I don't have a Toto, I have a House Rabbit, who is draped over my feet right now. So the two themes intersect at this interesting point.
I prefer to see the shimmer of light on the water, and not focus too much on what might be clouding it.
"And you are all just a silly pack of cards!"
--Alice | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:49:46 AM | Hi Alice, There really is not much for a reviewer is able to do with your profile, other than maybe arrange all the quotes in a perfect order to send out exactly the proper vibe to attract exactly the proper man for you.
Here are my final thought on your current profile.
1. Your short description of you should be moved to the top, it is getting lost in the sea of quotes.
2. It would help you to describe the man you seek as well.
3. If I understood you correctly, you are looking for "maximum return"?If I that is correct, I would recommend loosing about half the quotes, and writing a short "more standard" profile to go with your quotes.
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:10:44 AM | OFMM,
"...Your short description of you should be moved to the top, it is getting lost in the sea of quotes..."
I moved it. Not sure I like the emphasis it makes in that position, though. Partly because I truly am mildly disabled (although I do have both kidneys! LOL)
I have qualified my statement about "maximum return" by saying: "If I was looking."
(Please refer to my posts # 28 and 31.)
I have designed my current profile with certain "land mines" so that if a person who really "gets me" reads it, s/he can comment on it and I will know immediately. Everyone else might be constitutionally incapable of really wanting to be close to me, anyway.
Thanks for your help.
I have considered designing a "dating" profile again, and see how you guys help me with that one! (No, not to use now, but to have on hand, I guess, just in case--the dating life can be so unpredictable these days.) This has been fun, and I am having fun playing around with my profile.
I have to say, though, that the fact that I am dating someone has taken the pressure off of me considerably. When I was actively looking, I came here, blanched, and ran to my corner where the blanket is.
--I am getting a ton (for me) of e-mail from this one right now, since I have un-hid it. I think it is the "Friends" designation, and also the fact that I think POF's sytem puts you "on top of the pile" as if you are new when you revise your profile.
So I offer that as a suggestion to all newbies--revise every now and then, even if it isn't much of a change. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:52:51 AM |
I moved it. Not sure I like the emphasis it makes in that position, though. Partly because I truly am mildly disabled (although I do have both kidneys! LOL)
Okay, apparently I did not make myself clear, that was not the "description" I was refering to. The one I meant was the third paragraph from the top if I remember correctly, and was basicly what you had in your OP. I agree that it is too much to put that "right up front",pertaining to your disability, sorry about the misunderstanding.
Best wishes
OFMM
PS If it is working, AND attracting people you find attractive, then I wouldn't change a thing, DO NOT tinker with success too much.
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:33:38 PM | OFMM,
I liked my previous Dating profile from before this review, which I'm thinking of posting here sometime just for fun, because it found me the guy I have currently. And I like the profile version I had before, as a Friends one, but now it seems to be a little less "distant." I had sort of wanted it to be distant, (originally my heading was (FFF) Friendly Faraway Fishing Fish) with an emphasis on the "Faraway" part. That is because I wanted to not attract any attention that in any way jeapoardized my current relationship. Also, I don't want the entire POF universe to know lots of details about my life--99% of the people here will never meet me.
I am considering sharing more, though, because I think I have learned from you guys here on the Profile Review Section to be more relaxed and not worry so much about that. I guess too much distance, can sometimes seem like disdain, when posting on the Forums.
People seem to like this one, but I suspect that some of this is just from all the brouhaha on the Forums lately.
Oh, and the horn on my head got removed this morning and I am feeling much better, thank you. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:42:55 PM | I would delete my last post, but it won't let me. So I plead many interruptions by my son, and my sister who helps me care for my boys.
Aside from lame excuses, I apologise for being chatty. I thought I was getting the hang of it, but perhaps this sarcastic style is only for those who can weild its might with dignity and grace and much more experience than I.
The part where I say I want to be distant, is really to spare everyone my very boring, pedantic, verbose, preachy style, which only a few souls have the heart to tolerate for long. I thank you for the profile review and for all the recent attention. I am sorry if it has caused a problem for anyone who has followed the spirit and intent of this Forum, and its guidelines.
I hope this review has shown my all-to-human side, mistakes and all. I hope that I have changed my profile enough to show appreciation for your various inputs.
I am putting some of my settings back now. I have gotten a feel for this review process now.
Simon Says.....Paula has been reviewed. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:18:41 AM | Your profile is fine.
One thing is, your personality somehow gets lost among the quotes.
Unless you are selectively filtering out those who contact you, then keep it that way.
Regardless of how you want it to come across , many folk may not connect with you.
Even though you think it reflects you, this is the biggest problem with your profile.
Also, the skin horse excerpt seems in the wrong place, and gets lost among the rest.
Could you just isolate that section for ease of reading? It's better served alone.
Otherwise, it is well written, and technically it's good.
Wishing you luck on your search! | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:57:31 PM | Jane,
"Your profile is fine."
Thanks. As per your advice, I put some more stuff on to reflect my personality. I added a video--however, it seems to only have the sound when I view it on my MacBook, not on my Dell. So I also added the lyrics--which always make me cry every time I hear them. So now my profile is absolutely huge.
"...your personality somehow gets lost among the quotes..."
I hate removing more quotes because one of my real passions is collecting quotes. I post them on the walls, in my purse, stuck to the mirror, to inspire me, cajole me, remind me, and are my own personal commercials for what I want to be paying attention to in life. Hey, if the companies can do it on the media, so can I! And they wouldn't be doing it if it didn't prove to work......
I love the Velveteen Rabbit because it speaks so much about the true nature of love--parent/child and adult love. And because I own a house rabbit who is called Zen Rabbit by my friends, but his real name is Webster. I condensed it and set it off, so it looks much more "put-together." Thanks.
I read a lot, and because I am a bit of a loner sometimes, I have books for friends. It is a very one-way relationship, though, because they never talk back, are always waiting right there for me to pick them up--when I am ready. And have all their spelling and grammar errors corrected already. So this is me, too.
I am not searching right this minute--which is why I changed it to Talk/e-mail, but I have disabled the Chat because I am not good in that format. Maybe some day I will venture back into that territory.
"...many folk may not connect with you...."
Many folk will not want to connect with me in real life, and because I hate rejection, this serves me well because they weed themselves out. I have lots of real people in my life every day, my kids, my home health aides, my sister and several friends I do things with. I also love "people-watching" here, but I tend to do more lurking than posting until just recently. Whew, what a steep learning curve!!!!
--but I'll take the luck. I can always use some of that. Probably how I have lasted this long..... | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:53:42 PM | Dear Shadow,
"All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again"...
I am not broken.
What I am is a reflection of my personality, I was born this way. My brain works differently and always has. It sometimes puts me at an advantage, but just as often puts me at a disadvantage, as with all uniquenesses and traits.
Even narcissists, and people with no conscience benefit from their differences, sometimes, because they work to keep them "protected" and holding things together, when others might crumble. These people might someday defend me in a war, by pulling the trigger on a terrorist, when I couldn't.
But then, at other times they can feel like they don't fit in, either.
I am so much more capable of adapting to the real world now that I have a name for my difference. The label didn't exist when I was born, and so no one knew what to do with my differences when I couldn't adapt well. (I eventually adapted, but it took longer and lots of research.)
I love this quote: (SORRY--I just HAD to!)
"Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot Change, The Courage, to Change the things I can, And the Wisdom to Know the Difference."
I have figured out that I can't change the Asperger's part. But I have learned to work in the community, in politics and in other places to change things that are worth changing. And I have learned over time, with experience, how to tell when it's worth it.
I like change. I like being aware of how things and experiences are changing me. I like to notice, however, when the changes are something I wish to keep, or have to let go of because they have served their purpose and I must change again.
When my first child died in my arms from cancer, and I became childless, I became sad, overwhelmed, angry at God, and didn't want to become bitter. I wanted to go with her. It was not a nice thing.
I learned I couldn't just choke back the tears in the Corporate bathroom, (got me fired) swallow the anger (got short with my ex), continue to hate and hide from the world (got physically ill from it). I healed with those who had gone before me in a group called Compassionate Friends. I learned how to honor the experiences, and let them flow through me to those who would "get it", and to let them go so I could recognise the present moment.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And every one of them has taught me something, helped me to feel something, and sometimes just shared part of the journey with me.
And I am grateful for every one of them. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:01:54 PM |
..."All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again"...
I am not a broken-down wreck. I have never been broken.
OP,
I'm not sure of Shadow's intent of the quote since I'm not him, but please remember you have asked for a profile review, and thus, this profile review is not about you personally, but a review of your profile, and as such, I'd be hard pressed to assume he was talking about you as a person being broken
-D4GL | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:11:09 PM | Hi Driven,
What is your take on this, then, with regard to my profile? Is it just another quote to add to what people already say are too many quotes?
Is my profile broken? Does it read like my heart is broken? Is the reviewer telling me that my profile can't be put back together again? Or is it my life, personality, or other things that can't be put back together. Or the relationships with the various Forum posters that have been broken.
If it is the latter, I guess you can't break something that hasn't really developed.
But thanks for pointing that out. I guess I got a little too sentimental there. I have been an advocate for Asperger's people, and many of them resent being seeing as neeing "fixing." I am one of the few that has worked consistently to try to appear like others. Many do not choose to do this, and instead work to help the world come half-way to meet their needs, and to accept the differences of people like us. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:17:13 PM |
Hi Driven,
What is your take on this, then, with regard to my profile? Is it just another quote to add to what people already say are too many quotes?
Is my profile broken? Does it read like my heart is broken? Is the reviewer telling me that my profile can't be put back together again? Or is it my life, personality, or other things that can't be put back together. Or the relationships with the various Forum posters that have been broken.
If it is the latter, I guess you can't break something that hasn't really developed.
Personally, I don't think any more quotes are needed. It is, however, your profile and you can do with it as you see fit. It is very possible the reviewer feels your profile is broken, I have no idea, and am not looking for hidden meaning.
Again, my personal opinion on your profile has been stated previously, as well as several other posters in regards to length and clarity. You have chosen to add more verbiage to your profile against recommendations, (which again, is fine - it's yours).
I think we're all just giving our perceptions and feedback based upon that which we view in the profile, and how we assume others make percieve it as well.
Take Care,
-D4GL | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:20:12 PM | I won't speak for anyone else, but this is about your profile. Noone's knows your life or relationships but you.
There are just my comments, I'll try to keep them brief and to the point.
The profile to me looks more like a blog or a journal. From the interest section to the about me, it lacks a consistency of flow or even a theme. My theme on the profile I have posted is crazyiness. From the headline, through first date, it's consistently a little (or alot) off the wall, crazy.
I'll make one other comment, you've said you collect quotes. So that's important to you, it may or may not be that important to someone else, particularly someone who may be wanting to get to know a little something about you. People have different impressions of those who use quotes, IMO a profile should be you in your own words. A quote is someone else's wisdom, humor or observation, not yours. It doesn't reflect who you are, only other people who you like reading what they say. I think that's enough to make my point. It's not a criticism unless you choose to see it as such, just an observation. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:47:59 PM | You like your quotes it appears. Me loves quoting, me also like playing with big hammer and munching on haribo.
"15 bucks little man, put that sh1t in my hand, if your money doesn't show then you owe me owe me owe..." My jungle love, owe eeh oh eeh oh..." --- J and silent bob
"Do me Dallas, oh..... Do me Debbie! Your tongue feels so hot against mine." ---- Debbie does Dallas.
To be, or not to be..... a dog loving beastiality maniac" ---- Shakespeare
" I love children, owe!!" --- Michael jacko ( just kidding he is a legend)
You and I are on the same par me thinks. I mean...... We are.... arn't we?? ........
You are not dating so you do not have to have a brilliant profile but it needs to be half decent. The work you have done is pretty good though there are too many quotes there for me but it shows some personality so I would leave them.. What does not work for me will probably work for most others.
All in all, happy reviewing and enjoy your stay.
From Albian, the slayer of people with car fetishes, the dancer of camp and the lover of mice.... | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:54:55 PM | Ideoform, the quote I gave is not about you, the quote is for you. When you understand what it means, you will be a different, and significantly better, person. Until then, you need to study what it says, as a balance to what you have been saying with your other quotes, and as a balance to who you are. And, yes, that includes the Serenity Prayer.
That's why I advised to include it. Not because it describes you - but because it needs to. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:46:36 PM | I dont really see you need a review. Friend profiles are a different kettle of fish, as far as women go as long as its not got a scary negative aura, pretty much anything goes.
as to your profile. There doesnt seem to be much in it that you've written yourself. There's a lot of quotes, and stuff. Personally that kind of thing puts me off. I have very little sense of you through your own words. Even if that other stuff is kind of relevant I dont want to read it.
I must say though your list of interests is fantastic, more females need to do this kind of thing since guys are a less bothered over reading things we dont like the sound of or even stuff we dont know what it is. See Overall I can forgive your iffy about:me just cos you have lots of interesting things in interests. :-) | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:13:15 PM | Just being a pain the patoot stickler for the details. You've found someone. Just putting talk/email, you could maybe should do better. Just a thought, if I were dating someone my status would be "not single/not looking."
It's not a knot in my shorts, but then I'm not a guy either. If I were you, I'd make it a lot more obvious that you're not "looking". It's inference, by keeping divorced as your status it would tend to imply you are "on the market" as much as I GAG over cliches.
Just a thought. | |
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| Simon Says... Paula needs to try requesting a review
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:37:07 PM | Ok, I am trying something new, but actually its old.
I am putting my profile back to the way it was from before I hid it because I started dating my current guy regularly. This way you can continue to review me with a regular dating-type profile, but if you don't mind, I am going to keep it hidden, so I don't lead people on to think I am available at this moment. This is about the 4th version I have had up. There were way fewer interests and they all highlighted.
I had read the profile writing tips, but hadn't ever asked for a review on it, so it totally reflects me as far as I could make it, and YES there is the word Honesty in it.....
This profile got a decent amount of attention, particularly as I was changing it a lot.... so I'm not sure if it was the profile itself, or the fact that it changed so people looked in on it more....
And I met this guy who had no photo with it. I used to screen them out, because I was biased against the guys with no photos. I thought they were all married, or hiding something. I still don't know about more than just this one guy, but so far he seems to be very honest, truly divorced and not hiding anything, but of course, hiding means I would have to look for it....and I try not to give a guy the 3rd degree on the 3rd date! (Its 6 months now.) But I have Googled him and stuff--the usual, I've been to his place.
It seems corny to me now, since I have been reading dozens of profiles of people who have been here longer than me. And also I am trying out styles that I haven't risked before.
But I am kind of corny in real life. I'm like a girl Mr. Bean--only more talkative. I'm like a girl version of Mr. Spock. Or the lead character in the TV show "Bones."
A lot of the guys who wrote to me called me Dorothy, and said they were one of the characters, like "Hi Dorothy, I am the Tin Man!" and stuff like that. It was a lot of fun. | |
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