| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:51:00 PM | Hi;
I totally agree with you.
I do feel for the woman that posted this..and I would consider this a date from hell!
What is wrong with men these day's? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:52:45 PM | "Well it's our first date..sooo we're each paying our own way then?" look at that...see how easy? And I don't even have my rocket science degree - daz"
I'm not saying I don't agree, but just how many times has that worked for you...
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:57:57 PM | | Men should not be expected to pay for first dates. Plain and simple. If you have a job especially and are expecting men to pay your way....personally...it's not right. They work hard for their money and why should they spend it on someone they may never meet again? Like I said..I've got no problems paying the tab..and I'm not made of money..but I kind of now understand why good men are so hard to find..how many times do they have to be used and abused.....and forgotten.....come on ladies...you know you can handle your own as well. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:01:46 PM | | Here is my take on woman and the paying for a date issue.. when I go on an date I always go with $20 in my wallet a 10 a 5 and 5 ones. I never order more than I can pay for including my share of the tip. During the date I decide wether or not I would like to see him again. If the answer is no to that then I insist (and do not take no for the answer) that I pay my own way. If I would like to see him again, I will certainly offer to pay for my own but if he offers to pay for mine I do accept. I will then offer to pay for the tip. Bringing the change removes the situation of having to cover someone who is short.. I just dont have it with me to do. Honestly I'm like that with all of my outings not just dates, if you cant afford it you shouldnt order it. I would have asked the waitress to bring 2 separate bills after he pulled out a 20. As far as I'm concerned if we as women want equal rights then we must be at least willing to pay for our equal share. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:04:01 PM |
As far as I'm concerned if we as women want equal rights then we must be at least willing to pay for our equal share.
Men don't want you to pay because of equal rights. We want you to pay because you enjjoy our company and like treating us too , that we know we are special to you and worthy of getting what we give. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:07:09 PM |
Men don't want you to pay because of equal rights. We want you to pay because you enjjoy our company and like treating us too , that we know we are special to you and worthy of getting what we give.
This is the very definition of irony coming from a man who consistently states that he shouldn't have to pay for a woman's share of anything. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:12:37 PM | What is wrong with men today? One can't really equate all men in what is wrong with men today. There are a few old fashioned men left in this world; however are far and few in between.
To be honest with you, having been used to old fashioned men all my life, it was quite a shock to me that not all men are old fashioned these days - my, oh my, how standards have changed.
I was absolutely stunned to find out I was expected to pay half the luncheon, dinner bill, etc., not to mention listen to complaints about how much the price of gas is to drive back and forth.
The attitude I found out is 'equality of the sexes' - woman want equality then they pay the price just as a man does. Goes further than just paying your share of lunch, dinner whatever... Then there is sex - you do me and I'll do you; you don't do me, I don't do you!
I think I'll settle for the old fashioned men I've known all my life, maybe they are older but they know chivalry and how to treat a lady like a lady and make her feel like a very special person. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:15:49 PM | For me a date from hell is more like this one that I had. Met a guy from on-line -- another site -- and after chatting for a while online and on the phone, he invited me to meet him at Starbuck's for coffee. The chatting had been very pleasant and respectful so I agreed. I should have known when we were setting up the arrangements to run far far away, but I didn't. Of course, if I had, I would not have had this story to tell. Here it is in brief:
First, he told me the only time he could get together was Saturday morning because his weekend was packed, but that he really did want to meet me. The conversations had been good enough that I overlooked my wee small voice (big mistake) and asked where and what time. I ended up having to get up earlier than I do for work (about 5AM) and drive a half hour to meet him at the Starbucks he chose -- much closer to where he lived than where I do.
He arrived a few minutes late and we went inside the mall at the Starbucks entrance. He proceeded to sit me down in the mall, OUTSIDE the Starbucks, never even offered to buy me coffee and then proceeded to try to sell me insurance!!! Can ya believe it? There was more, but I think that gives you the flavor of what it was like. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:23:38 PM | well I am from the old school, where the man picks up - but now days I myself will me him - and the man picks up the tab. If i made as much money has the men do in this world, Hell I would be picking up the tab for all I know. So if you go on a date you are to take the following, you phone, enough money to pay for meal if he does not want to pay and you lipstick. Who knows maybe MR RIGHT is sitting next door.
And if you feel that you both should pay - have two tabs. not one. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:26:55 PM | Men don't want you to pay because of equal rights. We want you to pay because you enjjoy our company and like treating us too , that we know we are special to you and worthy of getting what we give.
Im wondering why you thought what I said had anything to do with what I thought a man wants? This is totally about being a self respecting woman.
Atta girl itsmyday! You are a breath of fresh air! :)
thanks Shallon you too! | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:38:34 PM | Um...no eagleericw....perhaps we like to treat our men...and make YOU guys feel special and cared for.....and how you think that's a bad thing???? It's beyond me.
"How dare you want to treat me well- I won't have it!!!" LOL | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:03:06 PM | Re the Opost
Of course being expected to pay more than 50% of the bill is an unfortunate experience, but if that qualifies as a "date from hell", then what should men who first date a woman who expects the man to pay the full bill for drinks or dinner call those dates?
The large number of North American women who in this and other threads have strongly argued that the man should pay the full bills so that he is lover, partner, protector IMO:
1) Partly explain why so many North American men are interested in foreign brides
2) Why so many North American men who pay those bills have a player or multidater or later, when in the rel, :"cheat", When one pays and "protects" (!!), one expects to have many "service providers" and "pay around" (aka "fool around").
3) Goes a long way to explain North American mentalities and expectations that play a key role in the problematic antics and situations in dating, love, rels and marriage in N.A. nowadays.
Shocking! One would think that America is still in the 19th century!
And I write that as a European who often gets heat from other Europeans regarding his pro-US views.
Of course I would not accept a woman to pay for MY part of the bill. I am not a gigolo!
To paraphrase the "what has happened to American men today", I ask:
What has happened to the America so many people around the world were/are fans of?
Was it just a Hollywood Myth? I lived in the US for 5.5. years in the 1980s. Things were not like this then! What the "hell" has happened to the US of the 1980s I enjoyed living in (during my studies)? What has happened to the American women I dated? Have they gone "un-Dutch" 20 some years later? WHat a "nightmare"!!!
Still shocked!
Happy Independence day to all American fellow posters!
And to all Canadian ones (was it not on July 1st)?
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:45:33 PM | nolamichelle, who did the asking out?
normally, its the one who does the asking, or if you both agree in advance that you split the bill 50/50.
I personally would have asked to share. :) | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:48:21 AM | | I am agreeing with EaglesCry68 on this one. A true gentleman knows how to treat a lady. And it has nothing to do with what a man buys you. It is the simple things like opening a door for a lady or making her feel comfortable. The things that make a lady feel that they are special. EaglesCry68 - you were brought up right. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:10:58 AM | ^^^^^ I assume a lady does similar but different things to make him feel special no?
I suppose some guys would feel a little insecure if they feel they have to lavish someone on the very first date...maybe its the male bread winner thing? god help him if the woman earned far more and could lavish on him far more than he could reciprocate
Like I said she wouldn't give him everything she can. She would significantly hold back to make sure she is getting more. Ever heard of a guy being the more spoiled one in a relationship (in terms of dinners/gifts or actually anything)? Nope never. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:36:46 AM | | If a guy asks a lady out and doesn't pay the bill in full and leave a generous tip out of respect for the waiter/waitress then the next stop should be the kitchen washing dishes. Also, he should be polite not only to his date but to others on the scene. If he can not handle that he should refrain from asking someone out and give everyone a break. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:52:54 AM | Although...I do have to say that you men that are being so kind and generous and willing to spoil your lady.....even though I would want to share the bill...it's nice to see that you respect a woman that much to be so gentlemanly. I just hope you don't find the wrong ones that take advantage of that  | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:04:28 AM |
Although...I do have to say that you men that are being so kind and generous and willing to spoil your lady.....even though I would want to share the bill...it's nice to see that you respect a woman that much to be so gentlemanly. I just hope you don't find the wrong ones that take advantage of that
And therein lies the rub; discerning the ones who genuinely appreciate the gesture from the ones who just expect it. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:24:16 AM | ...I do have to say that you men that are being so kind and generous and willing to spoil your lady
Too bad there is no such thing as a woman who is kind and generous and wants to spoil him right back. Pretty much ever woman takes more than they give. Pretty much destroys the concept of 50/50. A relationship shouldn't be based on only appreciation but also reciprocation. I don't even understand how any decent human being would be okay with taking that much from a man and not giving back. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:32:56 AM |
Anyways we know to avoid women like you. Our mothers taught us well. Why do you think you are owed something for being female? You may not like it but smart men won't like you. and no that's not how it is. men can say the same thing during marriage. you do all the housework that's just how it is when you are married right? and this type of bs wouldn't fly in many parts of the world.
john.duke, again with the anger... Wow, you really were hurt, huh??? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:42:36 AM | A while back, there was this guy who paid for dinner and then sued his date for a 50% refund when she wouldn't go out with him again.
How about doing something inexpensive on a first date? Just meet for coffee; this also gives you an opportunity for a quick graceful exit. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:49:04 AM | | johnduke - everyone is different....you just have to find the person that you want to be with and they want to be with you where money is not even involved. Equality is what it is all about. If you feel that you are carrying the load and not appreciated in a relationship then it just was not meant to be with that person or maybe they did not know you felt that way. It is all about communication. If you don't like a situation, change it and yes a lady will do things to make her man feel special. | |
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