| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:12:13 AM |
I assume the vice versa is true otherwise its not much of a relationship.
sigh, dude...I apologize but your lack of reading whole posts is making me weary.
Only those ruled by their members and most men outgrow that phase by their 30's once women's looks start to fade.
lol, sorry but there are plenty of 30+ guys out there who are ruled by their member.
Think about when you start a new relationship, you are "in lust" - hence ruled by sex. I'm not saying it's wrong that men are ruled that way (which by your tone you think that I'm being a stereotypical woman thinking that all men wants is sex). Sorry, but I don't think that wanting sex is bad - biology makes us want it, and men have more testoterone than women.
There are also plenty of nice guys who get screwed because they fall for a beautiful face among other things (I know a few guys like that).
Unfortunately, I could never really fault some people because most of the time they are entering into something with their trust and faith in the other person open, and then they get crapped on.
lmao@fra - I truly think that many women on here must be searching for something like that based on some of the posts though....and yeah they usually have splendid racks (paid for too!) | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:15:29 AM |
Your whole object of taking a woman out is to show her how great life with you would be!
Hey sister, you can count me OUT of your generalization. I have NEVER tried to show any woman
how great life with you would be!
I enjoy the company of people who have great lives already with or without me and who are real and I am interested in them and I like it when they are interested in me. I am with that person for pleasure, not to make a sale. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:20:56 AM |
I say that if I turn up for a date, act nice and be attentive - the least he can do is pay ...
Oh sure, and if he turns up for a date, acts nice and attentive - the least she can do is put out ...
Really, sister, that is SO last millennium.
Do you REALLY think social relationships are market transactions? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:30:17 AM |
I say that if I turn up for a date, act nice and be attentive - the least he can do is pay ...
Oh sure, and if he turns up for a date, acts nice and attentive - the least she can do is put out ...
This is exactly what I've been talking about when it comes to misunderstanding each other.
Women don't like to be expected to put out.
Men don't like to be expected to pay for everything.
Why is that so hard to understand and accept and actually start changing the way you think? Because of these forums and actually absorbing what some men say, I stopped asking men what they do for a living - innocent or not. They just don't like it. Wasn't that hard. Then again, I accept change easily and have been doing so for several years...
Until everyone starts understanding that we all have "issues" and that they are somewhat different based on our experiences as a woman/man, you will forever be having the same arguments over and over again. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:37:36 AM |
Your whole object of taking a woman out is to show her how great life with you would be!
To me, the whole point of a first meeting is to discover each other, to see if there is mutual interest in taking it further. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:50:02 AM |
Your whole object of taking a woman out is to show her how great life with you would be!
I have no respect for any woman or man who needs someone else to make their life great. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:03:15 AM | I usually go dutch, just so that then the guy doesn't expect to get anything sexually out of our first date because he paid.
Plus, I also have a job that pays more than most of the guys that I know. So I usually at least offer to pay my half. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:06:39 AM | lol, sorry but there are plenty of 30+ guys out there who are ruled by their member
When a man is truly in love and respect (which if a man doesn't respect a woman, he won't be into the relationship at all), he never EVER loses attraction to the woman he is in a relationship with. If he loves who she is, and if he likes who she is, he will not lose attraction to her at all.
So few people are in a relationship with their soulmate. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:09:43 AM |
To me, the whole point of a first meeting is to discover each other, to see if there is mutual interest in taking it further.
I agree. In my opinion the first few dates aren't truly dates so much as meetings. I don't charge others to get to know me, so I pay my own way. In my eyes, accepting a man to pay your way is to accept his courtship of you. If I've just met him, then there is no way I'm giving the ok for him to court me. I don't know him. After a few "get to know each other" meetings, then I'll pay for him or he'll pay for me and that will be us accepting courtship of each other. I don't see any reason for a guy to pay for me on a first "date" when I can pay for myself. This also gives me a guilt-free exit if I don't want to stay for the entire evening.  | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:31:49 AM | how great life with you would be!
Yes - why not? I am talking about a man and a woman, and the possibility of the onset of coupledom. Isn't what this is all about ie more than sexual encounter? I am not talking about several dates in the week, with several different women. I am talking about a special date which has been thought out with care with someone you really like ... and you want the best hope for the future.
Women need to far more cautious of men's intentions
Women have to beware of the serial dater. A womaniser who is just putting himself about in non-selective numbers in the hope of finding someone who will sleep with him easily. He will then move on - this has been going on since the year - dot. We read about it time and again on here. It is part of being a woman to be aware of these types.
Fra59a - Please don't call me sister when you are old enough to be my father - many thanks. I would not date you either so there!
pay for everything
I would not expect that either. I am talking about the early days of dating, after the first date of a non-descriptive brief coffee meeting for instance - when dating is all about impression and can be fragile. Little things mean a lot in the early days on tentative beginnings. If what you do works well for you, then great! What I am saying is that for most women it doesnt. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:37:39 AM |
Why? Because we are talking about something which is not compulsory. Your whole object of taking a woman out is to show her how great life with you would be! She doesn't want a guy who is going to be mean, jealously guarding his 'pile' - she wants a generous and loving partner!
so you have to pay for her food to show her how great life with her would be?LOL..you really are funny..lmao..and you think a man want a woman who want to depend on him to pay for her food and drinks?... | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:39:50 AM | quote]By the woman putting money into the date (which the man has organised)
so who said it has to be the man that organises teh date?..women dont organises dates too?..or wait..let me guess..thats the "man's job" right?..lmao | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:39:51 AM | /\/\/\/\/\/\
I am saying that if she doesn't like it - she will vote with her feet.
The man may well not organise the date, he may well not pay for her, he may not even pay his own share, he may demand that the woman travels for miles for the honour of meeting him - we are hearing more and more of MEN shirking this responsibility when women offer to take part of the tab and travel - more fool them I say!
There seem to be a lot of bitter men on this site and this seems to show by the tightness of their wallets! They think that every woman is 'out to get them'. This is not true - there are plenty of genuine women who don't feel obliged to prove it by paying for their date! The real world is NOT like this chaps!
seaga - Looking at your profile I would say the perfect date for you would be something like a fizzy drink and snack at a bar - are you saying that you would not buy the girl you REALLY liked a snack just out of principle? Would you risk not seeing her again just to make a point? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:42:43 AM |
When I ask a woman out, I tell them in no uncertain terms that I am asking you out and therefore I am paying. Then there are no misunderstandings, hopefully I gain some respect for being a man and stepping up, and the date is much more relaxing especially when the bill arrives.
Thank you Traveling man. It is good to know that true gentlemen and chivalry are not dead (badly wounded but not dead) 
I don't have a problem "going Dutch" or "paying my fair share" but it is certainly refreshing to see some gentlemen here  | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:44:57 AM |
Men do have a weakness when it comes to beautiful women, you guys cannot deny that. It's the way you're made
yes but its beautiful women with a "good attitude"...not a beautiful girl who is a **** and an attitude that stinks.. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:55:27 AM |
The man may well not organise the date, he may well not pay for her, he may not even pay his own share, he may demand that the woman travels for miles for the honour of meeting him - we are hearing more and more of MEN shirking this responsibility when women offer to take part of the tab and travel - more fool them I say!
I suppose you believe men should have the responsibilities and woman should have the privileges.
I don't blame her though. She's from England and just like women from the US, Canada, and Australia she actually believes this bs. I think women from other countries have more class than this. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:59:24 AM | nola, It'd usually be the man to pull a $50 note from their wallets to impress their date ..because those big bucks are impressive, no?
I've dated in the last few years w/ the thought in mind that if I'm inviting a woman to dinner, I should offer to pay. If invited, I'd like my date to come prepared to cover the tab, even if I'd still come prepared to do so as well ...and I'd at least offer to pay the wait tip.
W/ so many women now earning far more than what men might earn, why not? After all Affirmative Action has kept some of us men from employment opportunities, even if we're far more qualified to hold the job. I've even been unfairly kept out of what's considered traditional female employment, but I digress ...even if I don't for how the times have changed, even if attitudes haven't for $uch haven't, and it's too bad.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of old-fashioned values, but I also appreciate common sense and 'progressive practicality' in a woman. 'That' is my asking myself ...from first impressions, "Would I be willing to go on a second date w/ her?" It has much to do w/ how selfish she comes across, and even if she might whip out a big bill to impress me, I wouldn't be. You might want to ask yourself, if you aren't creating your own dates from hell for what transpired during that first date. Did you ask questions, and give the men ample opportunity to answer and feel comfortable w/ you ...or was it all about you and yours for the conversation? Just a thought on top of wondering if your pre-date communications discussed "dutch treat" at all ...or did you go assuming the worst.
Even the first date/meeting needs to be negotiated w/ whom you are, and money matters are not something to ignore to start for any possible future together. If you fail to ask of your next possible dinner date or answer beforehand what you're complaining about here, I suggest you carry smaller bills and not assume for what and who've yet to know better. I believe that so many "dates from hell" are the direct result of one or both first-daters assuming too much. The same could be said for why so many LTRs fail.
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:05:46 PM |
there are plenty of genuine women who don't feel obliged to prove it by paying for their date! The real world is NOT like this chaps
just like how plenty of men don't feel like they have to pay for someone's food or drinks or whatever, to show/prove that he likes her/is attracted to her..whats your point really?..everything is a two way street hun..learn that | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:08:28 PM | | I swear that every date I ever went on, the man always paid. Even if I take out my wallet, they've insisted. Even my dad pays for my meals when we go out to eat, if I offer to pay. It's a nice gesture. And I think (this may sound old school) that it's a very generous offer when a man pays for the date, especially the first. And if there needs to be a discussion before, it usually makes me not want to date him again. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:09:05 PM |
seaga - Looking at your profile I would say the perfect date for you would be something like a fizzy drink and snack at a bar - are you saying that you would not buy the girl you REALLY liked a snack just out of principle? Would you risk not seeing her again just to make a point?
how do you determine that by looking at my profile?...
principle?..why dont you turn it around?..what does "principle" has to do with this?..but yes i would not have a problem buying someone a snack..and i hope the girl that REALLY likes me would not have a problem paying for my snack either..would you risk not seeing the guy you REALLY like by not offering to help pay for the food and drinks? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:11:49 PM |
Why? Because we are talking about something which is not compulsory. Your whole object of taking a woman out is to show her how great life with you would be! She doesn't want a guy who is going to be mean, jealously guarding his 'pile' - she wants a generous and loving partner! At the end of the date she is perfectly free to walk away without a backward glance if she wants - all because of him being petty - and that is a total waste of time for all.
This is flawed logic at best and tremedneously self centered.
be mean, jealously guarding his 'pile' - she wants a generous and loving partner!
If you measure generosity based on monetary windfalls, you truly are an escort and deserve to be treated accordingly! How in the world can you measure or gauge a man's ability to love, his generosity and personality based on his willingness to throw money at you? And what does he get in return for his investment? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:12:00 PM | would you risk not seeing the guy you REALLY like by not offering to help pay for the food and drinks?
Yes. This has never happened anyway - so I am 100% sure. I don't date misfits. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:12:25 PM |
julesrn143: I know this sounds old fashioned, but guys don't respect you if you offer to pay.
Let's say that this is true, why would you choose to go out with a guy who wouldn't respect you for being self sufficient? Perhaps the reason you said it sounds old fashioned because it pertains to guys who are old fashioned. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:14:00 PM | There seem to be a lot of bitter men on this site and this seems to show by the tightness of their wallets! They think that every woman is 'out to get them'. This is not true - there are plenty of genuine women who don't feel obliged to prove it by paying for their date! The real world is NOT like this chaps!
seaga - Looking at your profile I would say the perfect date for you would be something like a fizzy drink and snack at a bar - are you saying that you would not buy the girl you REALLY liked a snack just out of principle? Would you risk not seeing her again just to make a point? | |
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