| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:17:51 PM | Date from Hell.... dont really think I consider it one.
Where I come from (Peru) , guys normally, at least 95% pay for women when they're out on a date, at least for the first one.
When I used to live in Switzerland... the first dates would always be split 50-50... my friends would tell me. (looks like swiss guys are cheap-o's).
Personally., I dont like it when guys do 50-50 or dont offer to pay coz since they're the ones that ask out.. then they should handle all the fuss. Lets just say, all of my serious bf's have always paid at least the first couple of dates! It's not like I'm a gold digger... I will pay without a problem dates too!
I guess it depends on the person really. But I wouldnt takee it as a good sign if they dont pay it all... specially if they were the ones to ask out on a date. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:29:57 PM | I have always found that if the guy is interested in you, he will never let you pay, even when you offer to contribute.
If he lets you pay half, then I think they aren't interested. Most guys want to look good and be the good guy, if they want to see you again. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:07:58 PM | Hey, times have changed. I always expect to go dutch and if my date insists he wants to pay, I certainly accept. I also take into consideration whether my date has had to travel to come and see me, or if we have had met halfway, or even if one of us has had to rent a hotel room in order not to have to drive far to go home on the same day.
I believe in being a real woman out there in the world and pulling my weight and in considering my date's comfort level with these things, as well as my own, of course. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:29:05 PM | There are gentlemen out there ...have hope!
I haven't had that experience. The last date I had was supposed to be for drinks and then he suggested that we eat out. Well, I was prepared to offer if it was drinks but didn't have the cash for dinner. If he suggest Dutch, I would have been so embarrassed. I would have had to duck into the kitchen and wash dishes! | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:46:56 PM | Wow- I must have issues!!! Seriously...I hate it when guys pay for things for me....and then they always say..."what's wrong with you?".....I always thought because I work and support myself...that paying my own way or even treating them is a good thing...and I have even asked a few times "are you serious? Women expect you to pay for their way all of the time?"
I don't know...I wish I could have compassion...but no. They work hard for their money and I work hard for mine. 50/50 is how I call it unless I feel like spoiling them.
:) Good luck everyone  | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:31:35 PM |
I can't believe how often this stupid question comes up. Try this "Whoever asks out does the paying". Simple rule, works everywhere.
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:36:20 PM |
"Women expect you to pay for their way all of the time?"
I've NEVER had a woman offer to pay her way until we've been together at least 4 months or more. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:40:54 PM | WHAT??? The last date I went on...I arrived first and left my credit card with the server....he showed up...we drank...had great conversation...became friends...and did I have a problem signing the bill when it came? Absolutely not...I was gracious enough for the company. And another thing is....I'm not well off or anything.....I don't know...maybe I have issues like I said.
But I'm sorry that a girl hasn't spoilt you....although...like I said too....that's probably why I always get looked at by the guy like I have a third eye growing out of my nose...lol | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:47:32 PM | Wow...we should introduce you and Bob-O-Link from another post. He was just going off about pretty much the same thing!!
First, do NOT pull out a $50...as someone else said, bring smaller bills. And most importantly, ask for separate checks. If he shared your dessert and you didn't tell him go to h**l...who's fault is that?? Sorry but it sounds like you're more miffed that you thought that the date was great and the dessert sharing was cute then he blew you off--after allowing you to pay for it!
Again...I have to ask...why are some of us making ourselves such easy targets for rudeness, idiocy, etc?
If you truly believe that the guy should pay, then allow him to do so. I always bring money...my mother and father both told me to bring a $20 when I go out. It'll at least pay for a cab (well maybe more now!!). Offer to pay...but don't just pull out a $50 and think he's gonna pony up the rest. He sees you as having money...and therefore why should he pay more, in his mind? Too many women do the same thing and if I were a guy, I'd be annoyed too (see Bob-O-Link's post if you don't believe me).
And this date wasn't hellish. He didn't try to feel you up in the parking lot, he didn't tell you that you were unattractive, and he didn't get soused and acted an ass. You got off easy...not cheaply, but easy!!! | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:10:20 PM | Definitely if you agreed to meet and go dutch, ask for separate checks when you order, and most waitstaff always take the woman's order first, but we gentlemen would never ask a woman out thinking we shouldn't pay, hold her chair, open her door..... i'm too old to quit the good ol ways   why change something that's just nice | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:15:40 PM | | You should have been clear on who was paying before you went out. Neither of you showed much class. I always pay for first dates, but I think a woman who offers to pick up the tab at least shows she has enough class not to expect it. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:35:48 PM | While I don't agree on how this man handled the whole check scenario...this is NOT a "date from hell"...lmao!!!
Just chalk it up to an experience and next time check go for a drink vs. a meal (on the first "meet up").
Best,
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:53:06 PM |
I can't believe how often this stupid question comes up. Try this "Whoever asks out does the paying". Simple rule, works everywhere.
Eazk, how often do women ask you out to dinner for a first date?
Ladies, how many of you ask guys out to dinner for the first date? Not coffee but a full blown dinner with a guy that you hardly know AND you will cover the cost yourself?
Another question for the ladies, when you ask your girlfriends out to dinner or lunch do you automatically pay for them because you ask or do you guys typically split the check?
All I'm trying to convey is that it's a bit strange to say that whomever asks should pay for the first date when in fact women expect the guy to pay because he's a guy, not because he asked.
One last question for the ladies, if you have ever said to a guy "We should go to dinner some time" and he agreed, who paid?  | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:59:33 PM |
Shallon1:
WHAT??? The last date I went on...I arrived first and left my credit card with the server....he showed up...we drank...had great conversation...became friends...and did I have a problem signing the bill when it came? Absolutely not...I was gracious enough for the company. And another thing is....I'm not well off or anything.....I don't know...maybe I have issues like I said.
Shallon, you're definitely a rarity. That alone would have earned you a huge gold star from me and I would have insisted that I pick up the tab on our next outing. Fair is fair, right? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:02:48 PM | He def should have paid, or at least went half. Thats really strange he just grabbed your 50, and also split the ice cream with you. I've done that with friends tho, but highly doubt Id try that on a 1st date, unless i felt really comfortable with the girl ha.
If a girl asked if she should bring money/have separate check I'd laugh and tell her dont worry about it.
Did you want to go out with him again, or was that just the icing on the cake?? | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:03:47 PM | *beats own head against brick wall*
This is why going dutch on a first meet has always worked best for me. Notice I said meet and not date. When you first meet someone, it's about seeing whether or not there's mutual attraction in person. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. One person shouldn't have to foot the entire bill to find that out. Keeping a first meet simple and inexpensive is the way to go. In fact, if a guy is willing to travel out to my part of the city, I'm more likely to pick up the tab for the coffee (or whatever) to offset the cost of his gas.
No offense, OP, but if you really think that was the date from hell, you're probably in for unpleasant surprises down the road. He obviously wasn't a great date, but at least he let you know pretty early on that you don't need to be seeing him again any time soon. Good luck to you. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:08:16 PM | Lima,
If there is one thing I know, as I have peruvian friends, that typically they are the most hospitable and generous. They don't think twice about the money spent. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:08:30 PM | I think this was not the date from he11, nor close to it. Though I do have some comments. First let me say I always pay, it's the way I was raised, it's what I'm used to and comfortable with. Having said that, some guys don't make enough to do it everytime. A woman can go on 3 dates in a week and if 2 guys are like me, she gets 3 dates for 1 meal she pays for. On top of that, most times the guy picks up the woman, with gas the way it is, a guy may only get out once a week. So that's something to think about the next time you want to call some guy cheap. Finally, women don't ask out guys, maybe some of you younger liberated women do it, but not the older set. So stop with the baloney of who asks pays. Cause if you never ask, you never pay. Now you can flame me over this, I think though you must see the picture and recognize the truth. Sorry somebody had to say it. Bob
PS to the poster below, that's when being a gentlemen comes into play. A date a man pays for is for the pleasure of that woman's company. There is no implied obligation to do anything. If you two hit it off and you wish to go there good for you, a little soon as I see it, but whatever floats your boat. | |
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:13:40 PM | I ALWAYS come prepared to pay my share of the meal, and am almost always turned down when I offer to do so. I like exchanging rounds for drinks tho, like we split em.
I don't ever want to come across as though I expect the man to pay because I don't want him to expect me to put out. I know that may sound weird to some but those fears don't die easily.
I'm very gracious when they do pay. Most of the guys I've met did earn quite a bit more than I, but I think it was that gentlemanly thing that made them feel uncomfortable allowing me to contribute.
Guys really are cool!!!
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| Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:17:32 PM | shallon1,
You are a rare breed! I do pay for their meals if I ask them out. Call it an act of repect for me. I definitely appreciate your thoughtfullness regarding them earning their own pay as well as you. I am ok with it in either case. | |
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